Naren

You said the quiet part out loud 😂Tbh I was hesitant to put it that bluntly.

But that’s also why I don’t understand people acting shocked that Luke struggles to trust the relationship. Beyond the physical side, Flora rarely makes him feel like a real priority. He’s often the last to know what’s happening in her life, she keeps important things separate from him, and most explanations come only after something blows up.

And it feels like a pattern with her. Even with her ex, she later admits she blamed him for not coming to Beijing while she was focused on moving ahead with her own career. With Luke, we keep seeing the same tendency to expect the other person to understand what she wants without really communicating or making space for them.

Luke has plenty of flaws, no question. But trust and security don’t come from one person constantly proving themselves while the other keeps them at arm’s length.

This will be the classic vertical drama setting.
FL disappears without a trace → years pass → ML is still stuck on her → they cross paths again → ML enters full on simp mode while FL acts cold → chase/chase/chase → reconciliation → happy ending.

I have already stopped watching lol. I coudn't watch past 17. Once all eps are relased I'll just binge it in a day

At this point, all I want is a convincing ending where BOTH of them acknowledge their flaws and how they contributed to the relationship falling apart.

Lu Nian absolutely has things he needs to reflect on and change, and I’m fine with him apologising and making an effort. But I really hope the drama doesn’t dump all the blame onto him, put Tao on some morally superior pedestal, and turn the reunion into yet another “ML suffers, chases and proves himself endlessly while the FL simply decides whether he is worthy” arc.

That would feel especially weak after spending so much time showing that both of them have serious communication issues, insecurities and unhealthy patterns.

A satisfying reconciliation should be mutual. I want to see Lu Nian recognise where he hurt Tao, but I also want Tao to recognise where she shut him out, misunderstood him, failed to communicate and hurt him too.

If only one person has to change, apologise and fight for the relationship, then it isn’t really growth. It’s just assigning all the guilt to one side.

I don’t think Luke needs to stop “being himself” for his growth to count.

His sarcasm, cynicism and sharp tongue are part of his personality. The question is whether he learns not to use those traits to hurt Tao, whether he communicates better, and whether he actually makes space for her in his life. From what we’ve seen, he is trying to do that.

And I’m not sure “he should find out what Tao needs” is entirely fair either. He can’t mind-read. If Tao needs reassurance, openness, marriage, a different balance in Beijing, etc., she also has to communicate those things clearly instead of expecting him to figure them out through conflict.

The househusband stuff isn’t meaningful because he can cook or clean. It’s meaningful because someone who used to keep emotional distance is now actively trying to build a shared everyday life with her.

Luke still has plenty to work on, absolutely. But growth doesn’t mean deleting his whole personality. And the responsibility for creating trust can’t sit entirely on one person.

I think this is exactly where the discussion keeps getting reduced to a false choice.

Nobody is saying Lu Nian is some perfect green flag who has nothing left to learn. He absolutely has issues with his temper, harsh words, insecurity and the way he reacts when hurt. He SHOULD change, and the drama has already spent a lot of time showing that.

But saying that doesn’t mean Shang Zitao suddenly has no responsibility in the relationship.

Communication, transparency, reassurance and making your partner feel included are not “low standards” or something only women should demand from men. Men deserve those things too.

The problem people are pointing out is not “how dare she meet her ex” or “she needs his permission before doing anything.” It’s the repeated pattern of Lu Nian finding out important things after the fact, her avoiding difficult conversations, expecting him to trust situations he was never given context for, and then his reaction becoming the only behaviour the story examines.

And honestly, saying their relationship only improves whenever she leaves or gets angry and HE learns to be better kind of proves the concern people have. Why should every conflict result only in Lu Nian learning a lesson?

A healthy relationship isn’t one person constantly being corrected until they become worthy of the other. Both people should be capable of saying, “I hurt you too. I handled that badly. I need to change this.”

Women should absolutely demand more in real life. So should men. Mutual accountability isn’t lowering anyone’s standards.

Same thoughts. From what I read in some spoiler discussions. It seems like Luke will be blamed (and his mouth doesn't help) and she breaks up again and vanishes. Then as usual Cdrama trope ML becomes a simp for her.

Agree 💯

And I’m not sure if anyone else noticed this, but it also feels like a recurring pattern with Tao, even going back to her relationship with her ex.

When she later says she was sorry for blaming him for not coming to Beijing, it shows that she had already done something similar before. Expecting the other person to understand what she wanted, then resenting them when they didn’t meet that expectation.

That’s what frustrates me with her and Lu Nian too. She often avoids saying what she really wants, keeps parts of her life separate from him, and then when things go wrong, the focus becomes his reaction rather than what led to it.

That’s why I don’t buy the idea that all the toxicity comes from him. Both of them contribute to it, just in very different ways.

That’s a really strange way to interpret “tell your partner.”

Nobody is saying Tao needs Lu Nian’s permission before she walks her dog, helps her friend, meets someone, or makes decisions. There’s a huge difference between "reporting to your boss for approval" and "communicating with your partner because their feelings matter to you".

If I’m meeting an ex, involved in a matchmaking event while I’m in a relationship, or in any situation that could obviously be misunderstood, giving my partner a heads-up isn’t asking permission. It’s basic consideration and trust.

And that’s the actual issue with Tao for me: it keeps happening. Lu Nian doesn’t hear these things from her naturally. He finds out later, often from somebody else, and then gets an explanation.

Ironically, if she genuinely wants him to feel like her boyfriend rather than her boss, including him in her personal life and communicating with him as a partner would probably help with exactly that.

Honestly, this clip feels almost deliberately timed to shift the growing backlash away from Tao and back onto Lu Nian, so that her eventual breakup feels more justified.

And yes, Lu Nian absolutely has things to reflect on. If he knew she loved him, knew she lacked security in the relationship, and still assumed she would never leave, then that is a real flaw and he should own it.

But I also don’t think this suddenly erases everything Tao has done or makes her completely “not wrong.” That’s exactly the kind of one-sided framing I hope the drama avoids.

Both of them have contributed to the relationship becoming unhealthy in different ways. Lu Nian’s emotional arrogance and lack of reassurance matter, but so do Tao constantly shutting him out, not communicating properly, letting him find things out from others, and making him feel like he is never really included in her life.

I just hope this isn’t the start of the usual route where all the blame gets dumped onto Lu Nian so the breakup can be framed as entirely deserved, while the Tao’s mistakes are quietly forgotten.

If they are going to separate and later reconcile, I want both of them to look back and realise where they failed each other. Otherwise Lu Nian’s “redemption” will just become him suffering and apologising for everything while Tao gets no real character growth.

Yess 💯I just hope they wont do this. But can't say. We have so many simp lovers 😂

Can't agree more. I stopped at 17.

You're missing the main issue from her is not telling him beforehand. He has to find out everything at last.
This has happened repetedly with her since the beginning.

Right?? At this point we clearly know both have done lots of shitty things to each other. but people are still separating out Lu Nian. I mean, how can these people be so blind?

At this point, what I really want from the redemption arc is for BOTH of them to reflect on what they did wrong and actually grow from it.

Lu Nian clearly has his flaws, and the drama has never been shy about showing them. He can be insensitive, emotionally clumsy, possessive, and sometimes terrible at communicating. If he has to face those mistakes and change, that’s completely fair.

But I really hope the story gives Tao the same treatment too. She also shuts him out, keeps important things from him, lets him find out about major situations from other people, misunderstands his intentions, and often makes him feel like he is the last person included in her life.

What I don’t want is the usual romance route where the ML suddenly becomes a blind simp who apologizes for everything, suffers, chases endlessly and proves himself over and over, while the FL is treated as if she did absolutely nothing wrong.

A good reconciliation shouldn’t be “he becomes worthy of her.” It should be two flawed people realizing how they hurt each other, changing for the better, communicating properly and choosing each other again.

If only one of them gets a character arc, then it’s not really a redemption arc, it’s just punishment for one character.

Same for her lol. 4 years and she still doesn't trust him

But he clearly maintained the distance from his friend and set the boundaries. She did not! That's the difference. He has changed a lot for her from Ep1 but she's still the same until now.

Exactly. A relationship is two way. Blaming only one person doesn't make any sense. Everyone just starting up bashing Lu Nian and turning a blind eye for Tao's actions.
Both should be accoountable for their actions and both should face the consequences

He clearly set boundaries with his friend and made it obvious where she stood. That’s very different from Tao hugging her ex, especially after Lu Nian had already asked her twice whether she even sees him as her boyfriend.

They’re both flawed, sure, but the situations aren’t really equivalent. Context and boundaries matter.

If she does without realising her own mistakes then she doesn't deserve it