reireirins

So glad I gave it a go! A painfully beautiful film.

Everything about it was stunning—from the cinematography, acting, and locations to the sound in the film. It’s a queer, sapphic coming-of-age story that’s complex, heart-wrenching, realistic and perhaps relatable. The characters living in the flat navigate a range of life complexities. Struggle with self-image, identity, love, dreams, socioeconomic and opportunities differences, and difficult family/financial circumstances. It’s a tearjerker, filled with details to catch.

The film isn’t straightforward—It's thought-provoking and leaves room for you to interpret/make your own judgments which feels very "human" and reflect the complexity of life, people and the uncertainty of adolescence. When feelings are kept and words are left unspoken with no clear explanation or clarification, it’s easy for us to misunderstand and assume. It was like watching real people as their intentions/feelings was ambigiously portrayed for us to catch the meaning behind them. Loved everything about the film and how it was directed, even though it had me crying in the cinema with many emotions and thoughts to process during & afterwards.

Earnearn and Fairy are a perfect match! Their chemistry is natural and endearing while their acting is impressive. Absolutely loved how much emotion they could convey with just their expressions and eyes for us to feel what their characters are feeling without needing any words.

It was an experience watching it on the big screen that I kept going back. There are so many reasons to rewatch it for, the plot, details, cinematography, sounds, beautiful scenic views to the raw and heartfelt emotions/story of the characters. A film that allows you to reflect in a way. Another beautiful film from GDH.
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****spoilers starts here****
(personal interpretation, details)
/// Please do not read if you haven't watched it!*
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Feelings:
Who had feelings, Ann did. Ann went along with Jane's response after Jane said she didn’t feel anything and wasn’t sure how to interpret their kiss. When Jane asked, “How are we supposed to feel when we kiss someone we like?” Ann answered, "I guess you won't have any doubts, just this is it—it feels right,” and teared up. I think it shows Ann realising her feelings and the sadness that it isn't "mutual". Yet, she didn't force her sentiments on Jane when she didn't know instead she was reassuring her.

For Jane, at first she would get jealous and upset whenever Ann and Tong were close, she didn’t understand why. As the film goes on, we (and Ann) start to see Jane slowly warming up to Tong—she becomes comfortable and shows signs of interest which affected Ann. Jane is figuring out, but one thing is clear: Ann means a whole lot to her.

Identity:
We'll see Jane taking her chest strap on/off throughout the film, symbolising her figuring out. In an earlier scene, Ann casually tells Jane there's a clean one in another bag. It shows how close they are. Even Jane’s mom doesn’t know, but Ann knows Jane. She helps to keep it a secret by doing the laundry and giving it to her. (details!) Tong also found out later and didn't judge and told her she could be whatever she wanted as long as she was happy.

**Alleged relationship between Ann and Tong:
I felt that the whole relationship between Tong and Ann was built on a series of misunderstandings. Their dynamic— considering Tong’s character, his actions and Ann’s character, her dream. Tong had been caring, but importantly, Ann had always worked hard for money. Some scenes and dialogues have no clear basis, felt out of place (because the movie doesn't tell us), yet it doesn't make sense with how things supposedly played out between them either.

(*The movie wants viewers to draw their conclusions.*)

/ Ann going into Tong's room to get her phone
- It was Jane’s perspective
Earlier, Jane snuck into Tong's room and hid when someone knocked. Tong woke up to open the door for Ann, but if Ann had seen Jane inside, she would’ve misunderstood too. We don't know what happened or didn’t happen—it’s up to interpretation.
(The phone on the bed could be Tong letting Ann sleep on the bed instead of the couch. He returned to sleep on the bed once she left in the morning. Tong checking outside the door before Ann leaves could be his way of preventing any potential misunderstandings, but Jane was in the room.)
- That very scene was after the night *Ann didn't want to go home*
- The same night when Tong comforted Ann with her dilemmas about giving up her dreams for her family to have a place to stay in the flat. Given Ann’s young age and all the responsibilities weighing on her, his words, "You can be something much better," "You don't have to be a big sister all the time", and "It's okay" are very telling of his character to me.

He also mentioned, *"If you need help with anything, you can always tell me."* (Before, Tong was warm to the kids and treated Jane like his child because they were alike. He just had his own financial/family struggles. "All good cops have no money." I believe he's a good cop. The sudden switch in the characters/dynamic was too abrupt to follow along without any doubts.)

/ Jane and Ann's misunderstanding at the bench scene.
There was tension before anything but Ann doesn't know about what Jane saw. However, Ann did see Tong and Jane being close and thinks that Jane likes him, while Jane thinks that Ann and Tong are together.
> Ann meets Jane, while holding a new badminton racket she received from Tong "knowing" that Jane likes Tong
> Jane meets Ann, "confirmd" their relationship after seeing Ann with her new racket from Tong. (Ann never wanted to take Jane's racket. Why?)
Jane got upset and ran off; Ann chased after her

/ More Jane and Ann's misunderstanding at the stair scene
Jane: "I thought you wouldn't date a cop?
Ann: "Well he gives me money"
(I think Ann was masking her feelings and going off based on Jane's misunderstanding instead of explaining. When Jane asked, "Do you know anything about love?" Ann replied with, "Love only matters to those with money." "How can a person like me dare to love someone?" which Jane didn't catch. Ann felt like she wasn't worthy enough to love her. Also, Ann thinks that Jane likes Tong, so I wonder if that played a part in her reply.

/ Jane's mom noticed Ann having more money.
Jane said she probably receives it from Tong because they're dating. Her mom mentioned, "But he doesn't have money and even borrows from me."
/ The interaction between Tong and Ann at the court scene wasn't awkward.
- Tong mentioned he wanted to study law for a promotion and wanted to learn English from Ann (Ann receiving money from could be Tong's kindness at first but this is a way for Ann to give back)
- **The pan-out scene with neighbours gossiping about Ann and Tong from above the court** (The way it was filmed made it look like they were spreading rumours, and Ann seemed uncomfortable while Tong, confused.)

/ **Jane getting back her mom's money from Tong.
She questioned Tong for giving out money when he doesn't even have any, he said, "Ann's family is in need, he's happy to be able to help with her situation, even by a little, just like how he's happy when he's able to take care of Jane."** (This highlighted the misunderstanding on Jane's part. He gets emotional after Jane leaves; it could be his reality. He doesn't even have money for himself let alone anyone else, not even his child. Before, he was on a call with his child; she told him he doesn't have to spend money on her because her stepfather is rich, and told him to save up the money so he's able to see her. Her mom told her that he's unable to visit her because he has no money.)

/ The rumours of Tong and Ann dating spread because of Jane.
Ann exploded at Jane because her mom is now tying her already bleak situation down with marriage to Tong for money (Ann likely didn't want to be like her friend tied to the flat after marriage, restricted from having her own life. Following how she mentioned that her friend's life seem to have stopped, unable to go to university nor get to live her own life. /balcony scene with the 3 kids) Also, from an interview, the director mentioned something along the lines of how women who lived in the flat tend to grow up believing the need to rely on men. But Ann doesn't want that.

/ Jane chasing Ann, who ran away to the pier
Jane: "You won't marry him, right?" (misunderstanding)
Ann: "Do you really like him that much?" to Jane (misunderstanding)
Jane: "I don't know, but he is not good enough for you to stop your life for him." "Don't you want to leave this place"?
- Jane tells Ann that she believes in her (even though Ann doesn't believe in herself)
- Jane comforting & apologising to Ann.

/ Tong and Ann at the pier scene
- Tong telling Ann to bring the kids tomorrow; he'll bring them all to the cruise. (He mentioned this instead of clearing up their situation. It could be him knowing Ann was hurting with everything and wanting to make her happy, even a little.)
- Ann tells Tong she will live with him immediately if he could give her 10m baht (If they were dating/had some sort of relationship, I don’t think Ann would’ve even asked. It felt like Ann was looking for an escape)
- Tong said something like "Don't leave me (In Thai, it doesn't indicate 'me' specifically); I'm trying my best, and I need time," to which Ann replied that she could not wait long.
(Tong’s response could stem from his personal feelings from his complex situation, and wanting to help her. He knew about Ann's situation and probably sensed that she wanted to leave, yet unable to help. With his circumstances, whereby his family left for money, he's unable to provide as much as he wanted despite covering shifts and "trying his best", it could trigger him to hold Ann back initially.

But in the end /he suddenly switched/ gave her assurance and told her that he believed that she could do it. Also, maybe like the importance of P'Ann's presence to N'Jane in the flat, the kids' presence was important to Tong, which was why he wanted to help Ann stay, but quickly knew being here wasn't something she wanted.)
- Ann saying that she knows she can earn as much as she wants. (It showed her determination and her knowing her capabilities after the reassurance from Jane and Tong)

/ Ann saying they already broke up to her mom. Ann didn't want to explain and wanted her to stop, but she went to guilt trip Ann for wanting to leave to achieve her dream. Even after Ann's question to her, her mom went right back to her cycle of gambling to "solve" the situation.

/ Jane and Nice painted all the names on the wall, including Tong.
(This made him seem like a significant figure. The way he got emotional when seeing the names at the end, and the changes that happened. If he were a bad person, they probably wouldn't have painted his name, nor would he have teared up I feel)

To me, he was a warm/reliable brother figure to the kids and liked spending time with them compared to other cops, as they eased his worries and gave him small happiness. With chasing the boat scene, eating with Jane, driving, etc, was all heartwarming to see. He taught the kids how to drive, and Jane ended up having to drive. Personally, it wouldn't make sense if I threw him under the bus, and my perspective of Ann is someone who wouldn't just do anything for money. She has her dream, works hard and just wants a better life.

Ann & Jane.
Ann and Jane's relationship is precious. They're like the only source of comfort and a safe zone to each other in the flat. The scene where they just looked at each other across the flat, with us knowing how both of them were hurting, was something. Jane always wanting to help Ann despite their social class differences and she never saw it as anything significant. She wanted to help even after her family circumstances became uncertain. Ann not ever taking any money or anything from Jane despite struggling with money because for her, Jane was more important than money. If it was anything Ann could give, she gives it to Jane.

The ring was Jane's way of helping and having Ann stay with her. We could see Ann conflicted, but with her mom pushing Ann to make a choice when they literally have nothing left, she had to go for it and run away. Throughout, we could see how Jane always looked at Ann as she struggled, and the movie conveyed it so well that with Jane's final dialogue,.. just bawling. It is not Ann or Jane fault for everything that happened with their family.

What the movie ending made me ponder (aside from everything else)
- Ann's ending could be positive or the worst, but I believe that Ann ran away to chase her dream as she would be stucked unless her mom changed, which she didn't. Ann is capable, but her mom doesn't see it. Her mom probably went into a spiral after her children's father figure passed and maybe all she knew and could think of was for Ann to get married or to be a cop for their family to at least have a home. But she is being selfish and nothing will change unless she herself changed.

I believe Ann is "stronger". The cruise scene was heartbreaking, it symbolised how she didn't want to return to her life at the flat perfectly. To make sense, I think she hid somewhere on the cruise, avoiding Jane, as it was far out. I believe she will manage and achieve anything once she set her mind to it, like how she was determined to leave the flat and did so. It is not selfish of her.

Jane mentioned, "I hope we bump into each other on a plane, because you have to take me to first class," tells me that she is around. Her family and Jane weren't that "sad" either, although Jane was.

- Who hung the packet of food outside Jane's flat?
- Tong started hanging out with other cops after the kids left.
(The dialogue is questionable but I don't know the context. Hope he remains the person that he is. I believe him and the promotion he'll get.)
- I really hope for Ann's mom to change for Ann's siblings at least although it seems unlikely with how Ann's sister taking over her role.
- Jane's life after leaving the flat—is she doing well? I hope so.
What were Jane's actual feelings for Ann? Does she have feelings and realises it after? Or was it just Ann having an unrequited love? Hope she's the same person who appreciates simple happiness and takes the time to figure out what she wants/likes, little by little.)
- Ann and Jane never revealed their feelings and misunderstood each other until the very end. Will they meet again? "Love is more important than money" to "Love only matters to those with money", as Ann slowly saw the reality of her family situation. Although Ann almost wanted to give up her life and love for money, she ended up chasing her dream for a better life for herself. I do feel that Ann will return once she's in a better position, at least to Jane. What will they say to each other?
- Anyway, I only wish all the characters well 😭😭😭

Once everything is figured out/filled in, I think you'd be able to enjoy the movie based on your perspective! The movie was etched on my mind and I loved it although it left me extremely emotional and dazed.
Pondering on the details and trying to understand the characters with their circumstances to make sense out of all the ambiguity made the film clearer and meaningful. Every scene and dialogue meant something to the characters, so it aligned after a lot of thinking. The film was as open and ambiguous as it could be, yet impressively detailed. I think how the movie goes differs with different takeways but it is amazingly well done!!

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