Sol1056

"fostering" is different from "adoption" -- fostering was a common practice in a lot of cultures, where at a certain age, you sent a child to live with a political ally or a close friend. It created stronger ties between families, gave kids a chance to see more than their immediate family, and often let them learn a vocation or earn an more-complete education. In a sense, when Mom sent CSS off with the aunt & uncle, this was sending CSS to be fostered with them -- but that doesn't mean Mom/Dad stopped being parents; the arrangement was always temporary.

If the term "foster parent" still doesn't work for you, try mentally inserting "godfather" instead, and you've got the basic gist of it -- a concerned adult who has volunteered to take on some parenting responsibilities of a young adult, but without being the true/legal/full parent.

I doubt the Luo family would be *able* to take advantage. HZ now has a conferred title, and the unprecedented experience of having personally requested -- and been personally granted by the emperor -- the right to execute her own husband. The emperor also clearly & obviously values those who fought on his behalf, and HZ lost a father, three (four?) brothers AND a pregnant sister-in-law. That's a whole lotta sacrifice, and the emperor is gonna see that as a debt to HZ & her brother as the last of their line. (Another parallel, this time to LBY and his mother as the last of the Huo.)

The Luo family makes one wrong move, and HZ has the clout now to walk in and demand the emperor fix things to her satisfaction. Yes, YS is along for the ride, but hopefully HZ won't be willing to watch her husband get humiliated by his family, anymore than she'll tolerate it for herself. Fingers crossed.

There are ways to end an engagement but boy did the writer pick a messy one for this story. Right now, He Zhaojun is basically the sole manager of her family's entire estate (including their personal army), as her little brother's regent. As YS was trying to explain, there are *plenty* of families who'd love to have HZ marry into them -- and then they would promptly take control of all that power and use it to their own ends. (Who knows if her brother would ever inherit anything, in the end.) HZ would be a puppet -- so she can't be married to (and if smart will refuse to marry) just anyone.

Meanwhile, the Luo family has nothing going for it, other than the Grand Tutor. The first family's sons have been rejected as incompetents, but GT Luo isn't going to let his nephews earn any merits, either. Everyone's riding on GT Luo's coattails, and that's not even that much -- notice that the wife of a brand-new marquis can smack the living crap outta 1st Madam and face little retribution. So the Luo family needs either 1st nephew (LY's elder brother) to defy his uncle, or some other avenue to survive. What they *don't* have is the power to override HZ like they would've originally.

Before, HZ would've been the spoiled but otherwise ignored daughter-in-law at the very bottom of the pecking order. After all, she's the youngest and isn't even a son. The marriage gave the families legitimacy (the He) and power (the Luo). The bride and groom would've been shoved into a corner as an easily-forgotten concern.

But now? HZ is the *sole* controller of her family's massive power -- which makes her also the best (possibly only) way for the Luo family to rise again -- and her determination to *personally* behead the man who mistreated her sends a really powerful message to anyone else who'd mess with her. Yes, she's in grief and shock and probably spent the entire trip back growing up fast and figuring out a path that will keep her and her little brother safe and away from those who'd take the He power for their own. There are still hints of the entitled girl ("stealing my man") but the rest of her is one seriously formidable young woman. I predict she's going to walk into the Luo family and clean the floor with 1st Madam's face.

What makes the whole segment really powerful, though, are the parallels (as someone else noted, both the writer and the director seem to love their parallels). CSS ends up in mortal danger with the bandits, and like HZ, she has to think fast and rely mostly on herself to defend herself. CSS also reacts with the desire to kill those who attacked her people, but she a) backs down, b) is shocked by the actual execution, and when facing it again (as HZ is doing it) can't even watch. Plus, CSS came back from that experience pumped up by her apparent successes (the emperor's edict solidifying that further) -- while HZ came back quieter, righteous, and honed to a sharp and intense edge.

It's a striking contrast to CSS, who doesn't seem to have come out of nearly-similar situations with anywhere as much gravitas and fire, let alone awareness of (or even concern for) the bigger picture of what's at play.

at the same time, the emperor is the only one we've seen so far who can snap LBY out of his near-monotone emotionless behavior -- so self-controlled all the time! -- but the emperor keeps pushing until LBY actually raises his voice in a frustrated upset tone and reveals his usually-hidden 'young' half of 'young adult'.

YS makes me wonder if there was an Eastern Han Pick-Up Artist book. He has all the signs: mock the girl you like with the goal of making her work twice as hard for your (very rare) compliments. Unfortunately for him, he's picked the one girl who's (mostly) immune to that kind of approach.

in ep18, after the scene between emperor, LBY, Crown Prince, 3rd prince, and the princes' respective tutors, the last one left alone is the Grand Tutor (LY's uncle). He makes a comment about the backstabbing hitting its mark -- but I can't figure out who did the backstabbing, or how. Was it the CP being surprised that someone wouldn't want to be an official, or was it LBY dropping the bomb of a capable contact in the Luo second family? Anyone else figure it out?

At this point, it's an open question for me whether CSS would even pay attention (let alone actually remember) if her mother did try to instruct her.

At least as of ep18, CSS is so dug into being convinced she already knows everything she needs to know, and dismissing anything else as just confusing/boring/annoying. CSS is so hard-headed she needs to go through the humiliation of realizing she really is lacking before she'll be open to learning.

Thinking back to how my own brain worked at 15, when you're not mentally ready, your brain re-routes around things. I look back now and suspect there were times people were giving me such intense interested looks as CSS is getting from LBY (and even YS), but at 13-15 I was so not ready to acknowledge any of that. Those looks/clues did not exist to me because I wasn't ready to handle the implications.

Handsome man swoops in and saves her, she has two choices: she can see it as he was doing his job/would've done it for anyone. Or, to see it as he saved her because it was her -- and that's terrifying if you're not ready to be that much of a focus in someone's eyes. (And she's never been the center of attention unless she was working for it, so she seems to assume no one notices her the rest of the time, ergo, his saving couldn't have been personal.) Remember, too, that when she looked back, he was no longer looking at her, so she could dismiss it as "he just happened to be there."

The next time, though, with the bandits, it's clearly personal, and he makes that 100% clear. That's where we start seeing her get flustered around him. By the end of the bandit segment, she's managed to distance him again (it's easier for her, emotionally) but after that, each time he appears, she's less and less able to pretend she doesn't notice.

Plus, there are two things ZY is doing to show that internal discomfort. One is how she keeps touching her chin/neck, when she's talking to him, and the move reminds me of when we're hot and bothered but not wanting to call too much attention to it, both checking and discretely wiping away sweat. The other is that so far, she's been mostly free of the stereotypical "klutzy girl" antics. When he gives her the decree, she has that uncharacteristic trip/fall because he's literally thrown her that far off-balance.

She's made it this far by trying to control or manipulate people & situations to her advantage. She can influence LY very easily, so he's no threat. But LBY not only can *not* be influenced, he's able to influence *her* far more. She's not just unready for a mature love (yet) -- she's equally not ready to hand over the reins of her life to someone else and relinquish her control/influence over her fate. More than being attracted to him, she's terrified of him, or at least of what he could do to her.

So, no, while it'd normally be romantic and plenty of girls would be swooning from the get-go, CSS isn't built like that. Then again, if she were, LBY might just as quickly un-fallen, too -- and her continued retreats keep him continually chasing.

lol no surprise considering they were pretty much attacking him!

Spot on. Parent-child relationships are complicated and hard even when you haven't been separated for a major length of time. What really drove it home for me was the segment where Gramma was basically helping herself to all of the betrothal gifts. No concern for how there was no proposal, no matchmaker, nothing proper, just sudden gifts -- and only concerned for taking all of it for herself (not to mention actually throwing a tantrum at having it taken away).

It'd been implied before, but that made it clear: anything the parents had ever sent home, gramma probably did take it for herself, with ultimate drama at the hint that she should do anything else. Seeing gramma's antics put into sharp focus exactly what CSS grew up with. It's almost ironic that CSS sees her own mother as being horribly UNfair -- in comparison to the gramma who really IS unfair. Or maybe it's just that CSS doesn't actually know what 'fair' looks like, anymore than she knows what 'love' looks like.

But it definitely explains why CSS can't comprehend Mom trying to be subtle when it comes to handling situations -- whether it's dealing with the aunt, with two conniving servants, or with a prestigious family suspiciously quick to welcome a bride. CSS never actually *saw* anyone being subtle, growing up. It was probably either 100% silence or 100% drama, so Mom trying to maneuver without excessive ripples probably reads to CSS like doing nothing at all. (And me, too, tbh, in scenes where Mom seems too quick to dismiss the situation with a simple 'punish everyone equally' -- took rewatch & thinking to realize Mom's strategy/reasons.)

Really, this is one of the few dramas that really captures the complexities and intricacies of family relationships, without demonizing anyone or turning anyone into a saint. No character is perfect, all of them are flawed, and it's their flaws banging together that causes the bulk of the interpersonal conflicts.

I find myself wondering if the actress playing her sees this as one of the most fun roles she's ever done. like, when again will she ever get a role this over-the-top?

was a little surprised Dad didn't have a minor heart attack on the spot, ehehe

these last 2-3 episodes have reminded me of when my own mother finally wised up with my sister, who'd (finally!!!) found a decent guy. Mom called me to say, "your sister is dating someone who is a) employed, b) smart, c) respectful, and d) not covered in tattoos, please do NOT say anything nice about him or she'll dump him like a hot potato."

basically, all Mom needs to do with NN is turn into gramma and become super-effusive over LY, push NN constantly towards being with LY, praise LY at every turn, and then NN would drop him in two seconds flat. guaranteed!

the bgm was flawless during the bridge-breaking scene, cannot wait to hear the full ost

the problem with that argument is that the age of puberty has dropped substantially over the past hundred years. even 50 years ago, the onset for girls was 15-16, while now it's starting as early as 11-12.

even still, excepting those unusual cultural cases that prove the rule, brides younger than 15 were often seriously side-eyed in most cultures. yes, in political alliances the bride (and often also the groom) were children or even infants when they were affianced -- but in those cases, it was the alliance that mattered. the finer details of the actual marriage could wait until both parties were old enough. (see LY's original engagement -- it was a legal contract between families, so there was no rush to have the actual wedding.)

also, the issue with mortality was mostly whether you could make it through childhood. average lifespan is *averaged* -- instead of thinking of it as "most people only lived to 35," think of it as "some high percentage died before age 10, and the rest lived into their 60s". if you survived the gamut of childhood illnesses, you were probably in pretty good shape for reaching old age (not counting death in war or childbirth, of course).

I find myself on the mother's side, too. I mean, at minimum, doesn't it seem odd that the Luo family -- reportedly so prestigious -- has skipped all these steps? What does that say about what they think of CSS, that she isn't worth that much effort, that they don't respect her enough to follow the proper rites & rituals? It feels kind of insulting, and it's surprising Yao seems just as clueless as CSS to the implications.

Everything else CSS has done is clever and important, and I wonder if the mom might acknowledge that if it were brought up as a separate issue -- because it is. Being able to organize a defense, inspire people, and build houses is great, but it's beside the point in discussions of whether you're emotionally ready for a one-way ticket like marriage.

no, she's totally a monkey. a perpetually-curious chaos monkey.