I’m honestly confused by your long post about “romanticization.” It’s really detailed, but I’m still…
They literally stated the relationship between Tuo and Jun Xi is riddled with consent issues. How did you come to the conclusion that they are in favor of their relationship. Op despite not giving specifics examples of the harmful behaviors within the show, they allude to that fact that the relationship between the characters is not healthy and that is how romanticization comes into play. They are stating the show is painting the manipulation and gaslighting that Tuo does as a part of a romantic relationship. If you need anymore clarification or evidence look at my comment and then OP’s original comment. Hope that was helpful.
Romanticization of problematic behaviour in media is more of a rule than an exception. It is perfectly reasonable…
I agree with you so much, I started this show thinking it was a cute friends to lovers story; in which it is that but it is also very much riddled with consent issues as you mentioned. I’m not saying the romanticization of dubious/lack of consent and manipulation in this show is the worst it can get but due to the fact it is “tame” or viewed as that, it’s easier to accept and view these harmful things as normal by the viewer. This is very much reflected by the fact that not a lot of the viewers of this show are calling out the problematic behavior.
I remember watching the Romeo and Juliet play scene and the scene that followed that really making me uncomfortable, if that’s the right word. Han Tuo actively pulled Jun Xi to kiss him even though they had set the boundary to not do that. We viewers now watch Han Tuo gaslit Jun Xi with excuses such as “don’t you want more people to join the drama club,” “this is just what close friends do,”“well it was actually you that kissed”(this one really pissed me off). All the things that Han Tuo said are literally textbook examples of gaslighting and manipulation.
Gaslight, definition manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
Han Tuo actively tries to make Jun Xi question his very rational reaction. When someone you care for confronts you about a specific topic or issue, your first reaction should not be to dismantle their reasoning and feelings. Key aspects of gaslighting are denying or distorting events, minimizing the victim’s feelings, using lies and deception, and shifting blame. All the aspects of gaslighting I just listed are all things Han Tuo utilizes. This gaslighting is followed by him confessing his love to Jun Xi, this creates the association within the viewers mind that the harmful behavior that Han Tuo just did is actually love, in which it is most definitely.
This is just one instance of Han Tuo’s bad behavior, another example that I won’t fully dive into is Jun Xi asking (kinda begging) Han Tuo to not perform physical affection such as kissing unless he says it ok, a very normal want. But Han Tuo throws Jun Xi’s request into his face by taking it to the highest degree. Jun Xi didn’t say Han Tuo couldn’t touch him at all, all he requested was boundaries. But taking the request to the highest level tells Jun Xi he was wrong and his boundaries are pushing Han Tuo away.
As you already stated, the association of these manipulative behaviors with romance and love has real world consequences.
I remember watching the Romeo and Juliet play scene and the scene that followed that really making me uncomfortable, if that’s the right word. Han Tuo actively pulled Jun Xi to kiss him even though they had set the boundary to not do that. We viewers now watch Han Tuo gaslit Jun Xi with excuses such as “don’t you want more people to join the drama club,” “this is just what close friends do,”“well it was actually you that kissed”(this one really pissed me off). All the things that Han Tuo said are literally textbook examples of gaslighting and manipulation.
Gaslight, definition
manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
Han Tuo actively tries to make Jun Xi question his very rational reaction. When someone you care for confronts you about a specific topic or issue, your first reaction should not be to dismantle their reasoning and feelings. Key aspects of gaslighting are denying or distorting events, minimizing the victim’s feelings, using lies and deception, and shifting blame. All the aspects of gaslighting I just listed are all things Han Tuo utilizes. This gaslighting is followed by him confessing his love to Jun Xi, this creates the association within the viewers mind that the harmful behavior that Han Tuo just did is actually love, in which it is most definitely.
This is just one instance of Han Tuo’s bad behavior, another example that I won’t fully dive into is Jun Xi asking (kinda begging) Han Tuo to not perform physical affection such as kissing unless he says it ok, a very normal want. But Han Tuo throws Jun Xi’s request into his face by taking it to the highest degree. Jun Xi didn’t say Han Tuo couldn’t touch him at all, all he requested was boundaries. But taking the request to the highest level tells Jun Xi he was wrong and his boundaries are pushing Han Tuo away.
As you already stated, the association of these manipulative behaviors with romance and love has real world consequences.