Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!
0 people found this review helpful
by yonsama
I was more than happy to hit FF in the last three episodes. Nothing of value was missed.
Cherry Magic is boring as absolute hell — it's the cinematic equivalent of being trapped in an elevator with the world's most generic lo-fi playlist on loop for eight straight hours. I was actually okay with it during the early episodes, when there was still some awkward tension and the "will-they-won't-they" tease hadn't completely died. But the second these two idiots finally get together? The entire show flatlines harder than a patient who just coded in the world's quietest hospital.
From that point on, literally nothing happens. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Just two pretty boys exchanging soft glances, blushing like Victorian virgins, and staring into the middle distance while the same melancholy piano tinkles sadly in the background. Meanwhile, the script forces them into endless, soul-crushing inner monologues that make you want to scream "JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD ALREADY!"
And don't get me started on the third-rate philosophical musings. These clowns try to wax poetic about love, destiny, and self-worth like they're the Japanese Socrates, but it all comes off as pretentious, trite garbage that wouldn't pass a freshman philosophy class. "Oh no, what does it mean to truly see someone?" Bro, it means you have magic mind-reading powers — use them or shut up.
This is peak annoying J-drama cliché on steroids: zero plot progression, zero stakes, zero anything after the confession. It's just 12 episodes of beautifully lit emotional constipation. If you enjoy watching attractive people do absolutely nothing while overthinking everything in slow motion, congratulations — this is your masterpiece. For everyone else with a functioning attention span and a pulse, it's pure torture.
Save your time. Watch paint dry instead. At least the paint has the decency to eventually change color.
From that point on, literally nothing happens. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Just two pretty boys exchanging soft glances, blushing like Victorian virgins, and staring into the middle distance while the same melancholy piano tinkles sadly in the background. Meanwhile, the script forces them into endless, soul-crushing inner monologues that make you want to scream "JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD ALREADY!"
And don't get me started on the third-rate philosophical musings. These clowns try to wax poetic about love, destiny, and self-worth like they're the Japanese Socrates, but it all comes off as pretentious, trite garbage that wouldn't pass a freshman philosophy class. "Oh no, what does it mean to truly see someone?" Bro, it means you have magic mind-reading powers — use them or shut up.
This is peak annoying J-drama cliché on steroids: zero plot progression, zero stakes, zero anything after the confession. It's just 12 episodes of beautifully lit emotional constipation. If you enjoy watching attractive people do absolutely nothing while overthinking everything in slow motion, congratulations — this is your masterpiece. For everyone else with a functioning attention span and a pulse, it's pure torture.
Save your time. Watch paint dry instead. At least the paint has the decency to eventually change color.
Was this review helpful to you?
