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In Defense of Luke
I haven't written a review in a while but I felt that for this drama, I just have to. I watched this only because the reviews were so split - some saying it's super toxic, some saying it's "true love" etc. Well, first of all, this was more of a business drama than a romance. I'm confused why they needed an intimacy coordinator for the few intimate scenes in this drama that barely even show anything? Anyway... what I really want to address is that I don't think the male lead is the (only) problem in the dysfunctional relationship mess of this drama.
Getting the obvious out of the way first: yes, it is a romance between a boss and subordinate with an age difference that's not explicit but probably around 7-10 years, so for both, the power dynamic is definitely not balanced. HOWEVER, I am shocked that so many people condemn the male lead. The female lead might be young and fresh out of college but she is an adult and while she might be a bit naive, she's not a clueless pushover and that is shown very clearly in the way she handles her interactions with the male lead from the very beginning.
Them being in this "tabu" relationship is on both of them, not just him. Maybe he should know better because he is older and because he is the boss but that's always the case and these relationships still happen. And in this case, yes, it's a bit unfair because this guy is not only brilliant at his job and very much needed by the company but he's apparently also loaded and doesn't even have to work if he doesn't want to. So no pressure on him in this regard and all pressure on her. Yet she still CHOOSES to start this affair with him.
Was he a bit pushy in the beginning and did he kind of initiate that first time? Yes. But only because he was sure that there was mutual attraction and he wanted her to admit it and give in. Is this partly because he's a guy who apparently gets his way all the time anyway? Probably. But that's not a crime. He made sure she is fully on board and did not pressure her or hold her job over her head. In fact, after they first slept together, it seemed like he was willing to try an ongoing thing (again, because for him, there was not a whole lot of risk) but she didn't want to and he did respect that but they kept being drawn to one another and again, he became a bit pushy to draw it out of her and she gave in to her desire without any blackmail or power play.
And she set the rules for their relationship/affair: No one can know and we only meet on Fridays.
The only times he abused his power as the boss, was a childish way of keeping her in his orbit. Is that wrong? Yes but again, he is never threatening her with "I won't promote you" or "you might get fired if you don't hang out with me" etc. He's trying very hard to get close to her while she keeps pushing him away. For her own very rational and important reasons, but still, she holds the actual power in the relationship with this.
Overall, she never had a disadvantage because he was her boss. On the contrary, while saying she did not want any special treatment, she kept being disappointed when she actually didn't receive any and the special treatment that she did receive (never "too special" or unfair to colleagues etc but he did definitely look out for her more than he would have for any regular employee) she never really acknowledged. He was doing his best to let her go her own way and make it on her own while quietly supporting her in the background as much as he reasonably could.
So what did he do that was "toxic"?
Well, because of his own insecurities of not being lovable etc, he did become very possessive and overreacted to seeing her with other men, for example. Then, instead of talking to her and making things clear, he goes on the offense and blames her and is harsh on her and says things he doesn't actually mean. Sound familiar to anyone? I think a lot of us have been there at least as a teenager. The thing is, over the course of the drama, he really does reflect on this and tries to change. He even realizes that he has become exactly like his dad who treats him that way and he hates it.
She asks him to be nicer and compliment her more and he's trying his best to do so. Some of the misunderstandings that made him overreact were caused by the female lead's poor communication or her sulking and silent / cold shoulder treatment of him.
She often doesn't treat him as a boyfriend and keeps things from him that later make him misunderstand something or just flat out hurt him and show him how little personal regard she has for him and their relationship. When they actually get to talking about it and she explains why she acted that way he accepts it and doesn't hold it over her forever as she tends to do when he overreacts and says some mean things.
The thing is, the viewer gets to witness very little of their actual relationship and interactions outside of the workplace. Yes, they are both workaholics and definitely see each other more at work than privately, but the lack of those private relationship scenes made it even harder to see them as a couple at all and understand their "love" for each other. It often seems like she's just horny and that's why she gives in, not because she actually has any deep feelings for the male lead. How easily they break up and the fact that he's always the one to initiate again kind of drives this point home.
Especially their last falling out could have been avoided if she had treated him like an actual boyfriend/ person close to her and told him about her friend dying. Then he would have known better what kind of emotional and mental state she's in. And he wouldn't have expected her to take it "professionally" and not mind how unfairly she missed out on her well deserved promotion. But again, she shut him out, he did his best to support her quietly in the background which she didn't know and then they ended up misunderstanding each other and BOTH saying deeply hurtful things they don't actually mean.
He's struggling with feeling unlovable and she constantly feels inferior because she holds on to the things he said to her in the very beginning before he even knew her and because when she's emotional she actually can't take his harsh but true criticism that she otherwise respects and keeps pointing out how it helps her grow etc.
What really bothers me is how, over and over again, he apologizes, he tries his best to change in a way that supports the relationship, he takes care of the actual relationship (for example by taking care of her dog that he didn't even like or want in the beginning) while all she does is take care of her career and her friends.
Not every fallout was all on him but yet, she barely ever acknowledges that and just lets him grovel. And that isn't toxic behavior?? She's also constantly upset that they don't have a "normal" relationship but it's not like that's his fault. It's just what happens when you date your boss. And it affects both of them, not just her. And then, when he actually resigns and isn't her boss anymore she asks him to come back because she likes working with him and feels like she can learn a lot from him etc. So it's on her that they keep having this boss-subordinate relationship that she apparently hates so much and ends up calling "shameful and filthy".
So, while she reaps pretty much nothing but benefits - personally and professionally - from this relationship, he's the one who has to do all the actual work to maintain it at all while she focuses on her career.
This especially upset me after their last fallout - as I mentioned, she withheld things from him that would have helped him understand her reaction better and then he would have comforted her instead of being all like "why are you reacting in such an unprofessional manner" etc. But no, she breaks up with him, disappears without a trace and then, those last two episodes he does nothing but grovel and basically beg to get her back.
And what does she do? She's still not sure and keeps pushing him away but not entirely. So he can't really give up but he's also not getting anywhere and she just keeps him in that limbo. I guess that's what happens when one person isn't sure but still, the ending was all him being like "oh I was such a jerk and I mistreated you so badly and I'm sorry for ALL THE THINGS" and he did actually change somewhat and was ready to truly commit by the end. But she was basically emotionally in the same place of "not sure I can actually be with him" and did not really reflect on her own part in their misunderstandings. She definitely could have treated him better as well but somehow that's not mentioned at all.
I absolutely hated how he is painted the villain because it was certainly not all "his fault" and he was actually the only one who truly reflected and really worked on himself to be better able to have a healthy relationship. He was also constantly gaslit by everyone around him about his personality and even his mother saying that it will be hard for anyone to stand him for longer. Yes, it's always better to be considered towards others and especially your loved ones and not just blurt out harsh things all the time but then again this is part of what makes him great at his job and he is extremely fair in his own way. When his ex had that meltdown at the restaurant he did take her to the hospital and informed her family but why should he wait for her and talk to her after that? It would just be giving her false hope and that would make things even worse. And the female lead constantly says how she actually appreciates how direct, strict and harsh he is because it helps her improve faster and she learns so much etc. Yes, maybe you shouldn't be all that blunt in a relationship but it's not fair to choose to be with someone who is that way and then constantly criticize them, blame them and tell them it's horrible to be with them when they are like that. Again, why is he apparently the only one that has to change some of their behavior to accommodate the relationship?
I have no idea what that whole thing with "I would have punished you by now" in the last episode was all about but I feel like at that point at least the male lead let it slip through that he was also not treated fairly all the time.
At that point, I also didn't really want them back together anymore because without actual work (and therapy) on both sides this relationship would realistically still be doomed. If anything, it should have ended with her also apologizing and realizing that she wasn't all that innocent in regards to their relationship problems. Maybe she could have found out how much he suffered and then chased after him for a change. Or just apologize for her part in everything and that at least would have been something. But those two final "grovel" episodes were juts awful. I felt so bad for him and really wished he could meet someone who's actually emotionally mature enough to work things out with him.
And despite all the groveling it was clear that he still held the upper hand when it comes to doing business (as he realistically should because he is way more experienced). It didn't seem like she was that much more self-confident in the end than for example midway through the drama. So this wasn't really a female business success story but also not a romance, at least not a healthy one. They ended up, yet again, involved professionally and privately and the viewer is supposed to believe that just because this guy does a grand apology and she started her own business, this time, everything will be great. Yep, sure it will!
It also felt like the writers didn't really know what kind of message they want to send. It seemed like this was a female centered business drama and all about how "Flora" makes her way in the business world with hard work and dedication etc. But then they have her end up with a struggling business and the male lead getting involved and "saving" her, yet again, quietly in the background by finding them potential business partners. So what's the message here? Woman can do well in business if they work hard and dedicate basically all their time but they can never truly succeed without a man backing them up? I also hated that.
So this was neither a good female centered and empowering business drama, nor a good romance. What really carried the drama was (mostly the male lead's) stellar acting and the fact that the male lead is very attractive.
I do not recommend this to anyone unless you want to feel frustrated and upset for 24 episodes and maybe even become a bit depressed - or I guess for the eye candy if you must.
But my main point remains, the male lead in this drama isn't the only one who is "toxic/ dysfunctional" and I just wanted to make that clear with this review.
I also want to add that I haven't read the novel and everything I'm saying here is about the drama.
Getting the obvious out of the way first: yes, it is a romance between a boss and subordinate with an age difference that's not explicit but probably around 7-10 years, so for both, the power dynamic is definitely not balanced. HOWEVER, I am shocked that so many people condemn the male lead. The female lead might be young and fresh out of college but she is an adult and while she might be a bit naive, she's not a clueless pushover and that is shown very clearly in the way she handles her interactions with the male lead from the very beginning.
Them being in this "tabu" relationship is on both of them, not just him. Maybe he should know better because he is older and because he is the boss but that's always the case and these relationships still happen. And in this case, yes, it's a bit unfair because this guy is not only brilliant at his job and very much needed by the company but he's apparently also loaded and doesn't even have to work if he doesn't want to. So no pressure on him in this regard and all pressure on her. Yet she still CHOOSES to start this affair with him.
Was he a bit pushy in the beginning and did he kind of initiate that first time? Yes. But only because he was sure that there was mutual attraction and he wanted her to admit it and give in. Is this partly because he's a guy who apparently gets his way all the time anyway? Probably. But that's not a crime. He made sure she is fully on board and did not pressure her or hold her job over her head. In fact, after they first slept together, it seemed like he was willing to try an ongoing thing (again, because for him, there was not a whole lot of risk) but she didn't want to and he did respect that but they kept being drawn to one another and again, he became a bit pushy to draw it out of her and she gave in to her desire without any blackmail or power play.
And she set the rules for their relationship/affair: No one can know and we only meet on Fridays.
The only times he abused his power as the boss, was a childish way of keeping her in his orbit. Is that wrong? Yes but again, he is never threatening her with "I won't promote you" or "you might get fired if you don't hang out with me" etc. He's trying very hard to get close to her while she keeps pushing him away. For her own very rational and important reasons, but still, she holds the actual power in the relationship with this.
Overall, she never had a disadvantage because he was her boss. On the contrary, while saying she did not want any special treatment, she kept being disappointed when she actually didn't receive any and the special treatment that she did receive (never "too special" or unfair to colleagues etc but he did definitely look out for her more than he would have for any regular employee) she never really acknowledged. He was doing his best to let her go her own way and make it on her own while quietly supporting her in the background as much as he reasonably could.
So what did he do that was "toxic"?
Well, because of his own insecurities of not being lovable etc, he did become very possessive and overreacted to seeing her with other men, for example. Then, instead of talking to her and making things clear, he goes on the offense and blames her and is harsh on her and says things he doesn't actually mean. Sound familiar to anyone? I think a lot of us have been there at least as a teenager. The thing is, over the course of the drama, he really does reflect on this and tries to change. He even realizes that he has become exactly like his dad who treats him that way and he hates it.
She asks him to be nicer and compliment her more and he's trying his best to do so. Some of the misunderstandings that made him overreact were caused by the female lead's poor communication or her sulking and silent / cold shoulder treatment of him.
She often doesn't treat him as a boyfriend and keeps things from him that later make him misunderstand something or just flat out hurt him and show him how little personal regard she has for him and their relationship. When they actually get to talking about it and she explains why she acted that way he accepts it and doesn't hold it over her forever as she tends to do when he overreacts and says some mean things.
The thing is, the viewer gets to witness very little of their actual relationship and interactions outside of the workplace. Yes, they are both workaholics and definitely see each other more at work than privately, but the lack of those private relationship scenes made it even harder to see them as a couple at all and understand their "love" for each other. It often seems like she's just horny and that's why she gives in, not because she actually has any deep feelings for the male lead. How easily they break up and the fact that he's always the one to initiate again kind of drives this point home.
Especially their last falling out could have been avoided if she had treated him like an actual boyfriend/ person close to her and told him about her friend dying. Then he would have known better what kind of emotional and mental state she's in. And he wouldn't have expected her to take it "professionally" and not mind how unfairly she missed out on her well deserved promotion. But again, she shut him out, he did his best to support her quietly in the background which she didn't know and then they ended up misunderstanding each other and BOTH saying deeply hurtful things they don't actually mean.
He's struggling with feeling unlovable and she constantly feels inferior because she holds on to the things he said to her in the very beginning before he even knew her and because when she's emotional she actually can't take his harsh but true criticism that she otherwise respects and keeps pointing out how it helps her grow etc.
What really bothers me is how, over and over again, he apologizes, he tries his best to change in a way that supports the relationship, he takes care of the actual relationship (for example by taking care of her dog that he didn't even like or want in the beginning) while all she does is take care of her career and her friends.
Not every fallout was all on him but yet, she barely ever acknowledges that and just lets him grovel. And that isn't toxic behavior?? She's also constantly upset that they don't have a "normal" relationship but it's not like that's his fault. It's just what happens when you date your boss. And it affects both of them, not just her. And then, when he actually resigns and isn't her boss anymore she asks him to come back because she likes working with him and feels like she can learn a lot from him etc. So it's on her that they keep having this boss-subordinate relationship that she apparently hates so much and ends up calling "shameful and filthy".
So, while she reaps pretty much nothing but benefits - personally and professionally - from this relationship, he's the one who has to do all the actual work to maintain it at all while she focuses on her career.
This especially upset me after their last fallout - as I mentioned, she withheld things from him that would have helped him understand her reaction better and then he would have comforted her instead of being all like "why are you reacting in such an unprofessional manner" etc. But no, she breaks up with him, disappears without a trace and then, those last two episodes he does nothing but grovel and basically beg to get her back.
And what does she do? She's still not sure and keeps pushing him away but not entirely. So he can't really give up but he's also not getting anywhere and she just keeps him in that limbo. I guess that's what happens when one person isn't sure but still, the ending was all him being like "oh I was such a jerk and I mistreated you so badly and I'm sorry for ALL THE THINGS" and he did actually change somewhat and was ready to truly commit by the end. But she was basically emotionally in the same place of "not sure I can actually be with him" and did not really reflect on her own part in their misunderstandings. She definitely could have treated him better as well but somehow that's not mentioned at all.
I absolutely hated how he is painted the villain because it was certainly not all "his fault" and he was actually the only one who truly reflected and really worked on himself to be better able to have a healthy relationship. He was also constantly gaslit by everyone around him about his personality and even his mother saying that it will be hard for anyone to stand him for longer. Yes, it's always better to be considered towards others and especially your loved ones and not just blurt out harsh things all the time but then again this is part of what makes him great at his job and he is extremely fair in his own way. When his ex had that meltdown at the restaurant he did take her to the hospital and informed her family but why should he wait for her and talk to her after that? It would just be giving her false hope and that would make things even worse. And the female lead constantly says how she actually appreciates how direct, strict and harsh he is because it helps her improve faster and she learns so much etc. Yes, maybe you shouldn't be all that blunt in a relationship but it's not fair to choose to be with someone who is that way and then constantly criticize them, blame them and tell them it's horrible to be with them when they are like that. Again, why is he apparently the only one that has to change some of their behavior to accommodate the relationship?
I have no idea what that whole thing with "I would have punished you by now" in the last episode was all about but I feel like at that point at least the male lead let it slip through that he was also not treated fairly all the time.
At that point, I also didn't really want them back together anymore because without actual work (and therapy) on both sides this relationship would realistically still be doomed. If anything, it should have ended with her also apologizing and realizing that she wasn't all that innocent in regards to their relationship problems. Maybe she could have found out how much he suffered and then chased after him for a change. Or just apologize for her part in everything and that at least would have been something. But those two final "grovel" episodes were juts awful. I felt so bad for him and really wished he could meet someone who's actually emotionally mature enough to work things out with him.
And despite all the groveling it was clear that he still held the upper hand when it comes to doing business (as he realistically should because he is way more experienced). It didn't seem like she was that much more self-confident in the end than for example midway through the drama. So this wasn't really a female business success story but also not a romance, at least not a healthy one. They ended up, yet again, involved professionally and privately and the viewer is supposed to believe that just because this guy does a grand apology and she started her own business, this time, everything will be great. Yep, sure it will!
It also felt like the writers didn't really know what kind of message they want to send. It seemed like this was a female centered business drama and all about how "Flora" makes her way in the business world with hard work and dedication etc. But then they have her end up with a struggling business and the male lead getting involved and "saving" her, yet again, quietly in the background by finding them potential business partners. So what's the message here? Woman can do well in business if they work hard and dedicate basically all their time but they can never truly succeed without a man backing them up? I also hated that.
So this was neither a good female centered and empowering business drama, nor a good romance. What really carried the drama was (mostly the male lead's) stellar acting and the fact that the male lead is very attractive.
I do not recommend this to anyone unless you want to feel frustrated and upset for 24 episodes and maybe even become a bit depressed - or I guess for the eye candy if you must.
But my main point remains, the male lead in this drama isn't the only one who is "toxic/ dysfunctional" and I just wanted to make that clear with this review.
I also want to add that I haven't read the novel and everything I'm saying here is about the drama.
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