Without relying too heavily on the standard drama tropes, the creative team behind Because This Is My First Life have built a story that's powerful, poignant, and funny all at the same time. I love the microcosm of today's generation's different perspectives on love and marriage that we see with the three girls.
Combine these thoughtfully laid out themes with a great (and adorable!) cast of characters and a distinctly poetic writing style... and the end result is just a breath of fresh air!
I highly recommend giving this drama a try if you're looking for a heartfelt drama that breaks the mold.
Was this review helpful to you?
CAST: Wow! Lee Ming Ki was awesome! Jung So Min was good too and she was sooo pretty! I also liked the kissing scenes esp when she asked if she can kiss him, it was so sweet and I liked the thought that she asked permission instead of diving in for a surprise kiss.
MUSIC: the BGM/OST were good too! esp Ben's singing voice it's angelic!
REWATCH VALUE: I actually just rewatch it last night, I had so little sleep hahahah
OVERALL: 10/10 it was good and very cute! TVN did a very good job!
Was this review helpful to you?
In terms of things I liked, I really liked the character development and rational of the main lead actor, Se Hee. While he was an 'emotionless,' apathetic character in the beginning, he didn't really display himself as cold, as many emotionless kdrama characters tend to do. Whenever he did something, he usually thought things through and how those around him might feel. His awkwardness also made him rather funny at time, and made the romantic scenes more memorable as you wouldn't have expected him to behave in that way given his character. For the main lead actress, Ji Ho, for the most part, her choices were also pretty rational, and there weren't a lot of flaws to her as with a lot of main kdrama actresses. In addition, I really love the dialogue behind the 'Room 19.' There were a lot of deep things that could've been taken away.
However, where the BTIMFL turned sour was in the last two episodes. It became really cliche and extra parts/'twists' were added that didn't need to be there. Also, Se Hee began to make really irrational choices that didn't really add up and were contrary to her previous narrative dialogues, especially as it related to her career choice. I think the dialogues surrounding marriage and love that were presented in the situation of Se Hee and Ji Ho should've been the case for Ho Rang and Won Seok. I'm really disappointed with how the ending turned out, and it just left a sour taste on my tongue. Granted the actual ending was wrapped up nicely, but the events leading up to that could've been changed.
Tl;dr: It's an okay/good drama, but nothing noteworthy. I felt like there were a lot of opportunities to make this drama stellar, but it just fell flat, which was rather disappointing.
Was this review helpful to you?
I very rarely write reviews because I’m too lazy, but this show went beyond my expectations.
----
5 months later UPDATE: I want to give this show 10 bonus stars. I want to re-watch it now.
Was this review helpful to you?
This review may contain spoilers
Meh...
I think this drama had a lot of potential but it failed on so many aspect. I think for one, the ML didn't really have any charm or charisma that made me fall for him. Usually you get viewers invested in a drama because you feel a part of their story and living through the emotions with them but with this drama I didn't understand the leads at all.The ML properly smiled for the first time in the last episode and throughout the rest, even though it was supposed to be this whole 'I have past relationship trauma so I'd rather not feel at all' theme, it was boring to watch. The FL was likable at first and I could understand the decisions she was making but when she decided to leave and divorce him, then proceed to not speak to him for months just because she wanted to 'find herself' or 'be sure of what she feels' I was honestly pissed. Like, good for you but then don't come back, lie down in the bed he's sleeping in and tell him "I'm sorry, I love you"... like no? You left because you were only thinking of yourself and obviously only thought of yourself. I feel like the way the script was written just did the leads dirty. The story was more enjoyable when it was in the supporting character's love stories. Gotta give it a low rating for that...
Was this review helpful to you?
This review may contain spoilers
Brilliant in unexpected ways
This was one of the first K-Dramas I have ever finished and it left a very lasting impression on me so even though I might be late to the party, I really wanted to write a review about this show.Because This Is My First Ife is both: Very flawed and kind of amazing. When I started watching this show, I was kind of turned off by the unrealistic premise. I was expecting just another cheesy romance. Which it definitely is, don’t get me wrong. But there is something more to this drama. And I don’t think the show itself realizes, how brilliant it actually is at times.
This is a drama that really stands out because of its writing. Ji-ho's monologue is oftentimes moving, poignant, heartbreaking, and always so real. Even though this show has such an out-there premise, I was shocked by how much I could relate to the things she said and the observations she made. That's because, while this show at first glance looks like your typical Korean coming of age-romance, it is so much more than that.
On the surface, Because This IS My First Life is just about a group of friends navigating life and the meaning of marriage. The core message of the drama lies in the title, it’s their first life, they don’t know what they’re doing but they’ll figure it out together.
But under the surface, this is a story, specifically about women trying to find their role in a patriarchal society.
We have Ji-ho, who grew up in a traditional East-Asian household, that valued her and her mom less because of their gender. As a result, she struggles to speak up for herself and lives sort of aimlessly. She’s extremely inexperienced in love and seems to pretty much have given up on it entirely, which is why she is so willing to marry someone out of financial convenience. Problems arise in her marriage after she is starting to fall in love with her husband but is not comfortable with fulfilling the societal role that is expected of a wife. She doesn’t want to heal See-he’s past wounds, she doesn’t want to be responsible for fixing his relationship with his family or take care of all the household duties. She knows that being the perfect daughter-in-law won’t heal him but rather that it would result in the loveless marriage of her parents where her mother constantly has to hold back and simply accept her dad’s verbal abuse. Ji-ho feels like the gender roles assigned to husband and wife not only harm her but also her relationship with See-he which is why she makes the deliberate choice to divorce him, so they can rekindle their relationship again, on their own terms. That she’s willing to take that step, is a sign of her character progression. She sues the man that harassed her and makes the selfish, but the right choice to leave See-he, finally putting herself first.
We have Woo Su-Ji, who is generally outspoken, confident, and honest but who has to tolerate the harassment she faces at work because she can’t risk her job. She knows that if anything goes wrong, she’ll be fired first, knows that she has to work twice as hard because of her gender. Being outspoken is a privilege that a woman in an office environment simply can’t afford. And since most men in her life really seem to suck, she doesn’t really trust them or tries to build meaningful relationships with them. When she finally meets a guy, she actually likes, she struggles to let him close and let her walls down. She’s used to being belittled by men, which is why she’s so scared of showing any signs of weakness and is only looking for meaningless sex. As her relationship with CEO Ma progresses, she learns to be vulnerable, learns that letting her guard down doesn’t mean that she has to give up her values. Su-ji’s character progresses but she doesn’t get any less fierce. Quite the opposite actually, her relationship makes her stronger, and she finally gathers the courage to quit her awful job.
Then we have Ho-rang who wants to get married so she can feel like “She made it” and belongs somewhere. She loves her boyfriend but is scared of the relationship going nowhere, which is a valid fear. At the same time, she also wants a wedding for artificial reasons. She knows her boyfriend loves her but things like social status still matter to her. She fears that people look down on her because she’s still unmarried. She’s a red coat, that wants to be a black coat, wants to conform. But even when she does meet a guy who wants to instantly marry her, who seems to be able to provide the secure life she longs for, she’s not fulfilled. She ultimately realizes that conformity isn’t worth sacrificing her happiness and while her arc ends with her long-term boyfriend finally agreeing to marry her, she also spent their time apart learning something about herself.
Korea is a country defined by neo-Confucianism a philosophy that values the collective above the individual. That has its advantages, for example when you’re in a global pandemic and trying to convince the people in your country that wearing masks is a good idea and that we should protect one another but it also has its disadvantages, like when you never really allowed to live freely the fear of disrupting the collective, the status-quo. Korea still has a long way to go in terms of women’s rights. Belittlement at the workplace is very common, women are usually expected to quit their job after getting married and having children anyways, so they rarely are in any leading positions and have to work harder to prove their worth to the company. This also results in the fact, that women in South Korea are way more likely to fall into poverty. Women are disadvantaged by the National Pension System because, since they are basically responsible for childcare in South Korea, only about 30% of them have pension rights. Reporting sexism is also generally frowned upon since you have to protect the company, you the individual, can’t do anything that might hurt the collective, even if you’re objectively getting mistreated.
Likewise, Ji-ho is just expected to mend her marriage, no matter how unhappy she is with the role she was assigned because again, she’s the individual and has to just take it to protect the collective, the family. This shows that patriarchal structures are everywhere, not just in our workplace but also in our homes and heads.
I was especially impressed with the scenes with Ji-hos mother, which show the sacrifices women have to make. When she hears the news that her daughter is getting married, she is scared that Ji-ho is giving up her dreams. She fears that her daughter will make the same mistakes as her for a life in conformity. It’s actually heartbreaking to watch, as Ji-ho reads her mom’s letter addresses to See-he and for the first time fully realized what her mom had to give up, so she could live comfortably.
In no way is Because This Is My First Life a perfect show and perfect example for feminist story-telling. The last two episodes are a bit of a confusing mess, and the disagreements between the two leads feel extremely forced to create some kind of emotional climax that the show didn’t really need. There’s also a whole arc about a stalker, that is so dumb that I blanked out for the entirety of it. Ji-ho still constantly has to get saved by See-he, which isn’t the girl boss narrative I was hoping for. I also don’t love that Ho-rang’s arc ended with marriage when it really should have ended with her realizing that she doesn’t need to conform.
Still, when I watched this show, I was really impressed by the lengths it went to talk about the female experience. Usually, K-dramas show some kind of female fantasy, where you get hit on by rich chaebols and swept of your feet. But Because This Is My First Life wasn’t interested in that. Instead, it showed you the real, harsh reality of being a woman in the 21st century. It isn’t always dreamy but it won’t change if we don’t talk about it. And this drama does talk about it, it talks about what it feels like to grow up in a patriarchal household, how women have to work harder to earn the respect of their male colleagues, about all the emotional and physical labor that is expected of a wife but ever fully acknowledged.
I love Korean cinema and Korean dramas, I love them so much that I am majoring in Korean studies at university but I have to address that the role of women in K-dramas hasn’t exactly been progressive. In older Korean shows the female lead is usually dumb and naïve and her sole purpose is to heal the cold and often-times downright cruel male lead from his trauma so they can fall in love. They send the message that it is a woman’s job to heal a man and that the greatest thing she can be is a wife. But I was delighted by the women in this show. Not only are they all smart, capable, and widely different from each other, the show makes a point about Ji-ho actually walking away from the emotional labor that is expected of her. She specifically states that she is not interested in healing See-he’s wounds. That a relationship is something that happens between two adults. That is kind of a revolutionary narrative, heck that is something I have yet to witness in a Western show.
I also love that this show dealt with the topic of sexism in such a mature way, something that is rarely talked about in older Korean shows. When a woman gets sexually harassed in an Asian drama, that often sadly happens as a plot device so that the male lead can save her. Or even worse, it happens so the oftentimes abusive male lead looks better in comparison. But Ji-ho essentially saves herself. She walks away from her job, even when they give her a chance to produce her own drama. She also makes the bold choice to sue her harasser. And the show also doesn’t brush off the sexist micro-aggressions the women face but instead, shows how they are part of the problem. It doesn’t victim blame Su-ji either for taking the abuse but instead highlights what she has to lose if she doesn’t keep quiet. It shows that sexism is a multifaceted issue instead of the result of a few singular men.
This is a romance, but what makes this show, are the women, defyining the Asian societal norms one by one. Still, even if you're not looking for a girl-power kind of narrative, this drama has still a lot to offer. I genuinely like the male protagonist here, even if he was outshined by the women and the portrayal of female friendship in this show. I find him quirky and charming. Very rarely do I see a male lead that is cold and kind of off-beat without being incredibly cruel and obnoxious. Heck, I kind of like all the love interests here. And I do like the romance. All the relationships in this show felt believable and mature. There are many swoon-worthy moments that 100% will bring a smile to your face. I was also pleasantly surprised by the humor. The actors all have good chemistry. The OST is pretty catchy. The cinematography doesn't necessarily stand out but it's still solid. All in all, this is a good romance. But it's an even better feminist story.
Since this show aired, the role of women in K-dramas has significantly improved, we now have a whole variety of strong, smart capable female leads to choose from. But in reality, Korea still has a long way to go. Women are still shunned for speaking out against sexism. This is why dramas like these are so important. They start a conversation.
All this and more are things addressed in this show which markets itself as just another romance, but in reality so much more. I didn't expect this drama to move me the way it did. And while it wasn't perfect, for that alone it deserves more recognition.
Was this review helpful to you?
It's one of the best dramas of 2017 unarguably. It might not seem like that at all from the first glance. If you look at the plot, you have most definitely seen this story somewhere else and you can predict how the story is going to turn out eventually. However, classic stories like these make watchers somewhat nostalgic. Actually, it's not the story that draws in people to continue watching, but the magnificent and heartfelt dialogues between the characters. I was really inspired by some of the best quotes that were spoken during the dialogues and monologues. Also, I really enjoyed the 3 different love storylines in the series. They all focus on 3 completely different couples, their problems, their wishes and chemistry. Speaking of love sparks between characters, I though that the main couple was so adorable! Although the cast wasn't that star-studded, now I'm a an of some new actors. And as always, a good OST is a must for me to rate a drama highly. Personally, it's one of the best soundtracks in a drama that I've ever heard! Especially the tracks "Everyday" by Hae Bin and "Marriage" by MoonMoon just colored the drama with emotions!
This drama will definitely be added to my favorites list. I'd rewatch it again and again, so please, start watching it too!
Was this review helpful to you?
This review may contain spoilers
Could have been a masterpiece with just a few writing tweaks; but as it is...
I really, really wish I could have given this a 10 (as some parts/elements certainly deserved it); however, there were unfortunately several character-/plot-writing problems that kept it well below that rating. (WARNING: FULL SPOILERS AHEAD)* Problem #1: One of the side couples had a really annoying conflict reason (the show is really asking me to believe that in *SEVEN whole years (!),* neither party ever even thought to bring up to each other what they'd like to see in a long-term relationship in regards to kids/marriage/etc.? And Ho Rang's friends know all about her hopes/plans about these subjects in perfect detail, yet she never once talks about them properly at all with her actual partner over the course of those 7 years? Seriously?? 🤨 And then to top it all off, despite the guy trying his darndest to be extremely good to her and give her whatever he believes she wants even if he has to sacrifice to do it, yet she somehow wants the poor man to be a mind-reader as well and treats him really badly when he obviously can't read her freaking mind when she is the one making the choice to literally not communicate at all??? 🤦♀️).
* Problem #2: The fake-out with the supposed 'stalker' subplot was a bit overdone. They should have either stuck with it to the end as him really being one, or made his character just a stereotypical rival instead. Trying to have it both ways and then finally revealing his 'innocence' after (rather cartoonishly) building it up so hard didn't really work that well, IMO. Worst of all, the writing seemed to just brush off his actual behavior as fine and gave him no consequences (because even though he was innocent of the criminal stalking, he *did* still just do whatever he wanted and continued to go after Ji Ho even after she tried to set boundaries *and* informed him that she was getting uncomfortable-- multiple times!-- which is definitely NOT okay, yet that ended up not being addressed at all. 😕 {Which is even weirder because one of the main threads of the show is about calling out sexist/harassment crap, so for his pushiness and unwillingness to accept a no as a no to just be brushed off isn't even internally consistent with the show's own narrative in the first place...})
* And Problem #3: Main female character Ji Ho's actions/reasoning in the last 2 episodes. I do get that she wanted to see who she was on her own first (because she never had), and to break the old contract so that the two of them could start fresh on completely equal footing and build up the relationship on love instead of business/etc.; and that's all perfectly valid, of course. However, the way she went about it (with no communication of most of that info to the other party, especially when she actually knew his feelings beforehand and still did it that way on purpose, totally disregarding any thought of what he might feel/go through) was rather cruel for Se Hee, IMO. 😕 The way she handled that was honestly pretty bad and very, very selfish, and she didn't even really feel any remorse about what it did to Se Hee (in fact, she was... happy about it?? 🤨 Yikes! 😬). This makes her surprisingly unlikable for a while right at the very end of the show (when up until then she was very likable), for literally no logical reason whatsoever.
Those are some rather large writing problems, unfortunately (that last one being particularly egregious).
On the positive side:
* The acting itself (regardless of the script quality they have to work with) is excellent.
* While there is a little bit of physical slapstick comedy a few times, I was pleasantly surprised that the show incorporated themes of the societal 'expectations'/pressure, sexual harassment/violence, and overt sexism in general the characters have to deal with on a daily basis into its very fabric and actually treated those topics seriously/with due respect (most of the time), rather than for 'comedic' value or somesuch.
* I also like how consistent the character writing for main male lead Se Hee was (for example, the mini-'reveal' that he actually wasn't dense at all about Ji Ho liking him, rather in fact he pretty much knew all along, and was just purposefully deflecting it for a while instead, was brilliant because that makes *so* much more sense for a character as intensely observant as he was always shown to be than the stereotypical 'dense' alternative would have been 👍). (Too bad they didn't have had the same quality and consistency of character writing for Ji Ho... 🤦♀️)
Overall, I'm glad I watched it; however, the writing was definitely frustrating and inconsistent at a few points, and had they only fixed those issues this could have been a certified masterpiece-- which of course just makes those missed opportunities even more frustrating. 🤷♀️
Was this review helpful to you?
Since I was a huge fan of Kim Min Seok, I always monitor all of his activities. I was anticipating this drama from the start because of him. I didn't care about the other actors at first because all I want to see is Min Seok.
But after watching the first two episodes, I was hooked with the drama not because of my main reason above instead I was charmed by the main character, Lee Min Ki and So Min. They gave me already the butterflies just witnessing the first two episodes. I loved how weird and mysterious Minki's role which I think perfectly fit him. And how can I resist the sweet stares of his brown eyes? I cannot. Somin's naive character made their love line much more exciting. Tabooong! What I respect most is that this drama doesn't only focus on the main leads. You can enjoy watching the two lovey dovey couples who portrayed the bittersweet reality of falling in love.
The story flows smooth with no irrelevant matters involved. It's refreshing and light so you will probably enjoy it 'til the last second. It has its own charm that will catch your attention or I must say you, as a whole. The OST of this drama will make you cry, laugh and fall in love.
Overall, this is a masterpiece.
Was this review helpful to you?
Story 10/10
The story mainly follows three couples and their hardships in the relationship. They are each facing different challenges and representing different types of relationships (marriage by contract, long-term relationship without marriage, and one-night-stand vs commitment). I won't go deep into the story because I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but basically they all struggle in understanding the meaning of love, marriage and opening up themselves to their partners. The story seems cliche and simple at first glance, but the way this drama presented the story is novel, fresh, creative, and so well-plotted out that it would feel like you are seeing this type of story for the first time. This drama is like a demonstration of how rom-coms can also be deep, through-provoking, and reflective like beautiful literature.
Character Depth 9/10
First of all, the characters were so realistically written; they had struggles that many people could relate to, and even though sometimes they made mistakes and did annoying things, I couldn't hate any of them because they were just like real people and had real emotions and reasons of why they came to be. Even though we might have different personalities as the characters, we would still understand their struggles and the fact that sometimes life does not go in the way we want it to. We can understand why Ji Ho, despite being an innocent and kind person, comes out stronger and more independent than her personality suggests. We understand why Se Hee always appears reserved and calculative, because he made grave mistakes in the past and he wants his life to be organized and in control, and most importantly he doesn't want to hurt anyone. Although he seems like a robot, he's actually a very kind and considerate person who always notices the feelings of the people around him. Just like how he striked a conversation with Ji Ho even though they were complete strangers, because he knew she needed someone by her side at that moment. He's not the type of person who would spare time and money unless he thinks it's worth it, and when he does, it's because he truly cares about that person. As for Won Seok and Ho Rang's relationship, I actually related to them the most. Even if you love a person very much, it doesn't mean the relationship will go smoothly, there may be timing gaps, differences in life goals, values, and communication barriers that end up inflicting great pain on you and your partner. And sometimes the pain of holding someone's hand is so overwhelming, that you can't help but want to let go, even if you can't live without that person. But it's always after separation, that you realize what is truly important to you.
The lines of this drama were well-written, every deep conversation touched my heart like poetry, and there were even some literary references that matched well with the story. It also made the characters more three-dimensional, especially Ji Ho since she's the narrator of the story. I relate with her a lot because I have a similar personality and I also like contemplating about things while daydreaming. Therefore I find her very suitable for the narrating role. The only downside is that since Ji Ho is like the sole narrator and you can only hear her heart most of the time, you might not know what the other characters are thinking.
Message 10/10
The drama also did an excellent job in prompting viewers the meaning of marriage. Why and when do people get married? The Ji Ho and Se Hee couple will make you ask--does love need to exist for marriage? Is marriage simply a commitment between two couples, or does it imply many duties and responsibilities that need to be upheld? And the Won Seok and Ho Rang couple will make you ask--is love solely enough for marriage? Or it is also about the right timing and conditions? Finally the Mr. Ma and Soo Ji couple will question whether it is because you need to depend on someone so you start a relationship, or because you love someone that you want to share your life with them even if you didn't have the need to. These are questions that the drama often touches on, and I believe there is no definite answer to these questions, because in the end everyone's situation is different. But my takeaway is that since marriage is commonly regarded as a "grave for love", meaning that love is sometimes destroyed in marriage, an important thing that people who are getting married for love should keep in mind of is to not let anything get in the way of their love relationship--not family rituals, not other people's expectations, not society's standards, and certainly not the system of marriage. In the end, we get married to be happy, and we shouldn't lose what we originally hoped for in the process.
Music 8/10
The OST does not have a "wow" effect but every song grows on me, and suits the scenes of the drama very much. They helped amplify the sentimental emotions in the drama and made the storytelling more effective. There was no song that I didn't like in the album.
Was this review helpful to you?
The main couple are so awkward, but that makes their interactions even even more adorable
The other other couples are cure af too sometimes weird, but still funny lol
The best thing was that there wasn’t a third person or wavering feelings which is daebak
Don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, but I guess good because in a way this shows, show that someone may seem nice but nah they ain’t. Like don’t judge someone to quickly cause y’all there are lots of plot twist for the characters in here.
Overall a 10/10 definitely
Was this review helpful to you?
Cast: Wasn't too fond of the male lead but he considering his character, it suited him. Female lead did well. However, honestly speaking I think it supporting cast was what made the drama all the more better and interesting. Love the side characters, their stories and struggles.
Music: Music was good but not memorable. Usually if a song is good and catchy, it sticks with you.
Rewatch Value: I think I'd only rewatch some of the kissing scenes.
Was this review helpful to you?
