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Wonderful show!
Just finished Because This Is My First Life on Netflix.Absolutely loved it!
A character-driven, light-hearted, but mature romantic comedy that is a social commentary on the institution of marriage, love itself, relationships and sexual harassment in the work place. Having not read the premise of the show, I went in blind and was pleasantly surprised at how maturely written the characters were. It is not one of those "love at first sight" type of K-Dramas. There are several couples in the show and we witness their love organically build in each episode while they're simultaneously questioning/analyzing their own feelings and whether they personally find marriage and carrying on tradition is suitable in millennial generation of today's South Korea.
The pacing of the show is relaxed, but as you get to know the dimensions of each character, the pacing begins to move quickly. While it is very funny and has its lovey-dovey moments, the fact that it is so intellectually stimulating (along with the most lovable pet cat in K-Drama history) so memorable.
Writing, soundtrack and acting from the cast are outstanding, particularly from Jung So-Min and Lee Minki who play an odd couple.
Absolutely highest recommendations!
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This review may contain spoilers
Brilliant in unexpected ways
This was one of the first K-Dramas I have ever finished and it left a very lasting impression on me so even though I might be late to the party, I really wanted to write a review about this show.Because This Is My First Ife is both: Very flawed and kind of amazing. When I started watching this show, I was kind of turned off by the unrealistic premise. I was expecting just another cheesy romance. Which it definitely is, don’t get me wrong. But there is something more to this drama. And I don’t think the show itself realizes, how brilliant it actually is at times.
This is a drama that really stands out because of its writing. Ji-ho's monologue is oftentimes moving, poignant, heartbreaking, and always so real. Even though this show has such an out-there premise, I was shocked by how much I could relate to the things she said and the observations she made. That's because, while this show at first glance looks like your typical Korean coming of age-romance, it is so much more than that.
On the surface, Because This IS My First Life is just about a group of friends navigating life and the meaning of marriage. The core message of the drama lies in the title, it’s their first life, they don’t know what they’re doing but they’ll figure it out together.
But under the surface, this is a story, specifically about women trying to find their role in a patriarchal society.
We have Ji-ho, who grew up in a traditional East-Asian household, that valued her and her mom less because of their gender. As a result, she struggles to speak up for herself and lives sort of aimlessly. She’s extremely inexperienced in love and seems to pretty much have given up on it entirely, which is why she is so willing to marry someone out of financial convenience. Problems arise in her marriage after she is starting to fall in love with her husband but is not comfortable with fulfilling the societal role that is expected of a wife. She doesn’t want to heal See-he’s past wounds, she doesn’t want to be responsible for fixing his relationship with his family or take care of all the household duties. She knows that being the perfect daughter-in-law won’t heal him but rather that it would result in the loveless marriage of her parents where her mother constantly has to hold back and simply accept her dad’s verbal abuse. Ji-ho feels like the gender roles assigned to husband and wife not only harm her but also her relationship with See-he which is why she makes the deliberate choice to divorce him, so they can rekindle their relationship again, on their own terms. That she’s willing to take that step, is a sign of her character progression. She sues the man that harassed her and makes the selfish, but the right choice to leave See-he, finally putting herself first.
We have Woo Su-Ji, who is generally outspoken, confident, and honest but who has to tolerate the harassment she faces at work because she can’t risk her job. She knows that if anything goes wrong, she’ll be fired first, knows that she has to work twice as hard because of her gender. Being outspoken is a privilege that a woman in an office environment simply can’t afford. And since most men in her life really seem to suck, she doesn’t really trust them or tries to build meaningful relationships with them. When she finally meets a guy, she actually likes, she struggles to let him close and let her walls down. She’s used to being belittled by men, which is why she’s so scared of showing any signs of weakness and is only looking for meaningless sex. As her relationship with CEO Ma progresses, she learns to be vulnerable, learns that letting her guard down doesn’t mean that she has to give up her values. Su-ji’s character progresses but she doesn’t get any less fierce. Quite the opposite actually, her relationship makes her stronger, and she finally gathers the courage to quit her awful job.
Then we have Ho-rang who wants to get married so she can feel like “She made it” and belongs somewhere. She loves her boyfriend but is scared of the relationship going nowhere, which is a valid fear. At the same time, she also wants a wedding for artificial reasons. She knows her boyfriend loves her but things like social status still matter to her. She fears that people look down on her because she’s still unmarried. She’s a red coat, that wants to be a black coat, wants to conform. But even when she does meet a guy who wants to instantly marry her, who seems to be able to provide the secure life she longs for, she’s not fulfilled. She ultimately realizes that conformity isn’t worth sacrificing her happiness and while her arc ends with her long-term boyfriend finally agreeing to marry her, she also spent their time apart learning something about herself.
Korea is a country defined by neo-Confucianism a philosophy that values the collective above the individual. That has its advantages, for example when you’re in a global pandemic and trying to convince the people in your country that wearing masks is a good idea and that we should protect one another but it also has its disadvantages, like when you never really allowed to live freely the fear of disrupting the collective, the status-quo. Korea still has a long way to go in terms of women’s rights. Belittlement at the workplace is very common, women are usually expected to quit their job after getting married and having children anyways, so they rarely are in any leading positions and have to work harder to prove their worth to the company. This also results in the fact, that women in South Korea are way more likely to fall into poverty. Women are disadvantaged by the National Pension System because, since they are basically responsible for childcare in South Korea, only about 30% of them have pension rights. Reporting sexism is also generally frowned upon since you have to protect the company, you the individual, can’t do anything that might hurt the collective, even if you’re objectively getting mistreated.
Likewise, Ji-ho is just expected to mend her marriage, no matter how unhappy she is with the role she was assigned because again, she’s the individual and has to just take it to protect the collective, the family. This shows that patriarchal structures are everywhere, not just in our workplace but also in our homes and heads.
I was especially impressed with the scenes with Ji-hos mother, which show the sacrifices women have to make. When she hears the news that her daughter is getting married, she is scared that Ji-ho is giving up her dreams. She fears that her daughter will make the same mistakes as her for a life in conformity. It’s actually heartbreaking to watch, as Ji-ho reads her mom’s letter addresses to See-he and for the first time fully realized what her mom had to give up, so she could live comfortably.
In no way is Because This Is My First Life a perfect show and perfect example for feminist story-telling. The last two episodes are a bit of a confusing mess, and the disagreements between the two leads feel extremely forced to create some kind of emotional climax that the show didn’t really need. There’s also a whole arc about a stalker, that is so dumb that I blanked out for the entirety of it. Ji-ho still constantly has to get saved by See-he, which isn’t the girl boss narrative I was hoping for. I also don’t love that Ho-rang’s arc ended with marriage when it really should have ended with her realizing that she doesn’t need to conform.
Still, when I watched this show, I was really impressed by the lengths it went to talk about the female experience. Usually, K-dramas show some kind of female fantasy, where you get hit on by rich chaebols and swept of your feet. But Because This Is My First Life wasn’t interested in that. Instead, it showed you the real, harsh reality of being a woman in the 21st century. It isn’t always dreamy but it won’t change if we don’t talk about it. And this drama does talk about it, it talks about what it feels like to grow up in a patriarchal household, how women have to work harder to earn the respect of their male colleagues, about all the emotional and physical labor that is expected of a wife but ever fully acknowledged.
I love Korean cinema and Korean dramas, I love them so much that I am majoring in Korean studies at university but I have to address that the role of women in K-dramas hasn’t exactly been progressive. In older Korean shows the female lead is usually dumb and naïve and her sole purpose is to heal the cold and often-times downright cruel male lead from his trauma so they can fall in love. They send the message that it is a woman’s job to heal a man and that the greatest thing she can be is a wife. But I was delighted by the women in this show. Not only are they all smart, capable, and widely different from each other, the show makes a point about Ji-ho actually walking away from the emotional labor that is expected of her. She specifically states that she is not interested in healing See-he’s wounds. That a relationship is something that happens between two adults. That is kind of a revolutionary narrative, heck that is something I have yet to witness in a Western show.
I also love that this show dealt with the topic of sexism in such a mature way, something that is rarely talked about in older Korean shows. When a woman gets sexually harassed in an Asian drama, that often sadly happens as a plot device so that the male lead can save her. Or even worse, it happens so the oftentimes abusive male lead looks better in comparison. But Ji-ho essentially saves herself. She walks away from her job, even when they give her a chance to produce her own drama. She also makes the bold choice to sue her harasser. And the show also doesn’t brush off the sexist micro-aggressions the women face but instead, shows how they are part of the problem. It doesn’t victim blame Su-ji either for taking the abuse but instead highlights what she has to lose if she doesn’t keep quiet. It shows that sexism is a multifaceted issue instead of the result of a few singular men.
This is a romance, but what makes this show, are the women, defyining the Asian societal norms one by one. Still, even if you're not looking for a girl-power kind of narrative, this drama has still a lot to offer. I genuinely like the male protagonist here, even if he was outshined by the women and the portrayal of female friendship in this show. I find him quirky and charming. Very rarely do I see a male lead that is cold and kind of off-beat without being incredibly cruel and obnoxious. Heck, I kind of like all the love interests here. And I do like the romance. All the relationships in this show felt believable and mature. There are many swoon-worthy moments that 100% will bring a smile to your face. I was also pleasantly surprised by the humor. The actors all have good chemistry. The OST is pretty catchy. The cinematography doesn't necessarily stand out but it's still solid. All in all, this is a good romance. But it's an even better feminist story.
Since this show aired, the role of women in K-dramas has significantly improved, we now have a whole variety of strong, smart capable female leads to choose from. But in reality, Korea still has a long way to go. Women are still shunned for speaking out against sexism. This is why dramas like these are so important. They start a conversation.
All this and more are things addressed in this show which markets itself as just another romance, but in reality so much more. I didn't expect this drama to move me the way it did. And while it wasn't perfect, for that alone it deserves more recognition.
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Worth watching until the last episodes
I have seen this kdrama being recommended many times. I can somehow understand why but I despise the ending. I don’t trust the FL.The first episodes looked promising, it was the usual contract marriage cliche but I liked it.
The ML is really respectful with boundaries and much more mature than the FL, he has a weird side but that side makes him attractive.
The FL started being likable but as the episodes go on I started to despise her. How can a character not grown when the whole point of the show looked like the development of her character.
Most of the things she said where none sense, she didn’t communicate anything but expected him to communicate, she also expected him to open up but she was not opening herself either, and is not like she didn’t have a chance. Her acting as the episodes go on gets worse, starts to look like she is a robot with no feelings for anything.
I don’t understand how there is so many 10 stars reviews, did we watch the same show? I can’t see how anyone would like the ending. Making the FL leave the ML for no reason whatsoever. She even knew he was gonna confess that same day. I still don’t know why she left and lie to him saying that she is going far away. Also the letter that she left for him is useless and doesn’t mean anything, I was actually expecting more from it.
It was devastating watching the ML suffer like that, even give up his house for a girl that just lied and confused him, just for him to forgive her as soon as he sees her.
Also the way she reappears in his life is awful, acting like nothing happened and considering leaving again. The ML had a valid crashed out but I wish it would have last longer than 5 seconds.
I don’t understand how you can torture the man you love like that and smile about it.
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Couldn't stick the landing
Not only could this drama not stick the landing, it was a freaking plane crash over the last couple of episodes. I have never been so disappointed in a K drama I was enjoying for 3/4 of the show. This was headed for a 10 rating from me, but the last few episodes made me so frustrated and angry that I couldn't give it more than a five. And I almost wonder if that is too high. The Show was talking about interesting things related to relationships and how we look at them and it seemed to be saying, one thing, and then it lost the plot and went to crazy town. Just thinking about how it ended makes me angry.I do not recommend watching this unless you are into disappointment.
the ML and FL were fine. I thought they had some good chemistry at times. I enjoyed that they were both slightly unique characters. But they brought in some weird side plots that just didn't seem necessary. Additionally, the big secret that they hinted at throughout the whole thing turned out to be a nothing burger. and they didn't even use it.
I will never revisit this again. In fact, I hope to forget that it exists.
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A Heartwarming and Relatable Korean Drama that Leaves a Lasting Impression!
"Because This Is My First Life" had me completely captivated right from the start. As I delved into this Korean drama, I couldn't help but be drawn into the lives of the two main characters, a house-poor writer and an overworked assistant, who unexpectedly find themselves in a marriage of convenience. Their journey resonated deeply with me as I followed their struggles, dreams, and personal growth. The drama beautifully delves into the complexities of modern life and societal pressures, touching on themes that felt so relatable. I laughed, I cried, and I found myself reflecting on my own experiences. With its endearing characters and genuine emotions, "Because This Is My First Life" is a heartwarming gem that leaves a lasting impression on anyone who watches it.Was this review helpful to you?
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Great Start, Weak Finish
I loved this drama so much at the beginning. I liked the focus on friendship and the chemistry between the couples. The show portrayed sexism and had a pretty progressive attitude towards sex. One of my main issues is that the show focused on the three main friends and their romances, but I only cared about two of them. I found one of these storylines to be incredibly boring and skipped most of those scenes. The last few episodes really took the show down for me, which I would have rated much higher before I saw those. The decisions that the main lead makes in the last few episodes felt really bizarre and out of character.Likes: Soo-ji - a part of me almost wanted her and the CEO to be the main couple because I cared about them so much. The portrayal of sexism, especially that in the corporate world. The focus on female friendship. Forced proximity and contract marriage trope for the main couple. Chemistry between all the couples was great. The way that the main couple bonded over the simple things and how those became some of their greatest joys in life.
Dislikes: Ho-rang's relationship just did not work for me and there is just no way that couple would work. I was frustrated when it would switch to this storyline because it took time away from the storylines I was interested in.
Everything with Ji-ho's family felt very unsatisfying as it didn't seem to really address the issues with her dad and brother. While I liked the main couple for the most part, there were quite a few times that I didn't understand her draw to him, as he felt pretty unappealing. The last few episodes Ji-ho made some decisions that felt almost cruel and didn't make any sense.
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Perhaps this drama can learn a thing or two from marathon runners
Perhaps a lot of kdramas can learn a thing or two from marathon runners about endurance and finishing strong. Getting past the threshold of pain in the last few miles, or in this case, the last few episodes would've made all the difference. The drama started out strong, a story about 3 couples in different kinds of situations and discusses a lot of adult topics of marriage and career. That was enjoyable and binge worthy. Although it is very predictable, it is not cliché. My favorite character of the three main female leads will have to be my girl Soo-Ji. Even if the main focus is on Ji-Hoo, she's got nothing on the real badass of this drama.*SPOILERS AHEAD*
This drama could have been a 9 for me but ultimately ended up being an 8. In the last 2 episodes, it seems the writer hit a wall and wrote something that was rather lazy. The main problem seems to be Ji=Ho and the writer trying to write out how to separate the couple for them to realize how important they were to each other. To do so, the writer just made Ji-Ho lose character development and behaved in a way that even Ji=Ho couldn't properly explain. Without honest and authentic conversation with Se-Hee, she simply said she wants a divorce and that she's going to sign to write a new drama with his ex and will have sufficient income to live on her own. But did she really sign with his ex? No, she lied about it. She didn't sign and instead went off to live in a hostel for a couple of months without contacting him. And in order to get Ji-Ho to sign with her company, Se-Hee's ex even helped Ji-Hoo with her legal case with the previous director. And what did she get in return? Ji-Ho not signing the contract. Basically, this made Ji-Ho dishonest and irresponsible. And to top it off, the actress who plays Ji-Ho's slow way of speaking became too sloth-like. If they were going for impact, they got quite the opposite. I wanted to fall asleep whenever she was talking or wanted to speed it up to 1.5x. And her lack of proper communication and honesty made Se-Hee sell his house and ended up suffering for months and moving up to the rooftop room Ho-Rang used to live in. The poor dude suffered for what? So Ji-Ho can just make some cake with a racoon looking cat on it to surprise him randomly at his house months after their divorce? Ta-da! Today is our day one! Yeah, it could've been day one of your restraining order. Ji-Ho's passive aggressive tendencies also didn't get any better. It got annoying. They could've done much better in the last two episodes.
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Let me first start by saying that I decided to give this drama a shot because of the review and the -so overrated- rating.
I am writing this review because I can relate in so many ways to the lead female character JI HO, I am at the age of getting married but I am also afraid of being tied down to a man for the rest of my life, I just don't know how I should feel about it (marriage) now, while watching this drama I felt like a woman can't be complete if she doesn't marry, I am starting to believe that life is not worth living if you don't have anyone to share it with.
What I want to say is that the show completely brainwashed me (if this is the correct way to say it) and I am seriously considering to get married now, maybe life won't be as boring as I think it would be? Who knows? I really envied the main male character, even with his mentality he was able to find someone who could accept him for what he is, however, i don't think that life is this generous to anybody especially when it comes to marriage.
Now talking about my thoughts on the show;
I solely believe that 16 episodes were way too many! especially to such a predictable story ( I mean come one! we've already seen it coming we just chose to stick it for one reason or another. (for me it was because I kind of envied how courageous she was for getting married, I am not going to lie) The pacing was slow and I had to forward many scenes, especially when it came to MA & Woo soo! I just found their chemistry too bland and forced!
The characters development was kinda superficial and once again expected, nothing deep ... and sometimes dialogues are repeated ... I don't know what was all the hype about! An okay show I guess, I probably won't rewatch it again ... the cinematography and the ost, on the other hand, are great! I just wanna say, that TVN successfully took 16 hours of my life away from me lol (well, less, since I had to skip many unnecessary scenes)
Come on Kdrama! I want something as fresh as "MAN FROM THE STARS" I want something that takes me to the moon and back!
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BTIMFL is like a unwitting friendship. You meet people you might not care too much about and/or are not particularly interested in but gradually as you spend time with them your heart moves. Suddenly they become a part of your own story. There is nothing life changing about this friendship, it was a brief encounter, and am truly sad to see it end. *sigh* "We'll always have Paris."
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I laughed and cried along with the characters throughout the drama. Love how it was realistic and how relatable it was.
Ji Ho was definitely my favorite character. She stole the entire show. There's never been a female lead so realistic like Ji Ho before. I love how straightforward she is with her feelings. She never gave up on Se Hee even though he was always trying to draw a line between them. Jung So Mi did an amazing job portraying the emotions out her character. It felt so raw that I too felt her emotions as the story moved along.
Lee Min Ki also did a great job portraying Se Hee too. Through Se Hee's robotic personality, Min Ki was able to convey his emotions perfectly. Everyone else also did a great job portraying their characters.
The ost for this drama is so good! My favorites are Marriage by Moon Moon and Can't go by Ben. It went very well with the show.
I recommend this to anyone!
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Though I did find the the main love story amusing, I think it's the weakest part of this drama. The premise is so out there that I never fully bought into it and never really understood why they had to get married. It made way for some funny situations, but never really made sense to me. There is a slow halting awkwardness to the mannerisms of the 2 leads that is in character, but can be frustrating to watch. They look like they are sleepwalking from scene to scene for much of the drama. The actors manage to pull it off enough to make it worth it to me, but it did drag a lot when they conversed. Every sentence of their dialogue is punctuated by long halting dramatic pauses that don't reveal much. They had their share of sparky chemistry moments. But I looked for some happy flow in their scenes together and that was missing here. I am not sure if I missed the scenes that made me understand why they fall for each other. Their scenes together often seem like an excuse to make quiet observations about life, love and marriage. But overall the drama is quirky, funny and thought provoking enough to make for an entertaining viewing experience.
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