Simply put, the best (drama) series I have ever seen.
This is one wonderful drama with phenomenal acting from the lead actors, excellent OST, very good camera and directing, and very good script.I discovered this drama by coincidence after watching (and being a bit disappointed with) Crash Landing on You and was not sure I wanted to watch it. What a gem would I miss! While watching the first episode, I was not sure about the main male lead (Lee Min Ki), he felt kind of annoying to me. But Jung So Min as his co-lead kept me in. The end of ep 1 started to give me good vibes and the ep 2 landed like a hammer and made me hooked for the rest of the series (and for life).
There is not much yelling or over-the-top emotional gestures in this drama, definitely none between the main leads. They don't need them to tell us the story. Jung So Min and Lee Min Ki make you _feel_ their emotions. The way they talk, the words they use, the way they look at each other, or the way they just remain silent, the softness and sincereness in their eyes, the unconditional respect they show for each other - right from the first time they meet, the way they interact somehow creates magic and feels often very pure and intimate without touching or any skin being showed. This is what a true chemistry between characters is - the feeling of the gravity that pulls the two together with the force of the universe. Some scenes felt so real I felt like I was an uninvited observer who had no business watching and hearing their conversations and interactions.
Lee Min Ki's character has very limited space for expressing emotions. What he does though is he uses his eyes and subtle changes in his voice and face to open the window into his soul. Surprise, confusion, regret, compassion, respect, love - all of them. I had to replay some scenes many times just to comprehend and repeatedly enjoy what he was doing. An absolute mastery of acting.
Jung So Min has much more space and she uses it perfectly. There are particular scenes in the series which require absolute world class acting to feel real. I have never seen any other actress of all movies I ever watched, mind you, who would portray them more authentically and with the feels.
Them together felt like the most real unreal couple in any series, their chemistry was just off the charts. I just wish there was a continuation of this drama, I could honestly watch these two just sitting on the couch having a casual conversation.
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Intelligent Drama on Love and Marriage
I gave it a few days before I wrote about this show, but my opinion hasn’t settled down yet. So here it goes. If you want something cute and fluffy…….this AIN’T it. If you want some comedy thrown in with some WAY TOO realistic drama……please watch Because This is my First Life.STORY:
This is a story of 3 different couples and how they negotiate love and marriage and its very messy. Truly….that’s it. THAT is what this drama is about. The spoilers will now commence.
COUPLE #1: Yoon Ji Ho (played by Jung So Min) and Nam Se Hee (played by Lee Min Ki) are two people who need each other for convenience purposes. She needs a place to live and he needs a reliable room mate that will take care of his cat and the recycling (and not pee in his fridge – who does that? I can’t believe they put that in there). He hides all emotions behind logic and science because it hurts too much to feel (I can relate) and she can’t figure herself out and what she wants out of life despite being a smart and driven woman up until the 2nd episode (kinda ticked me off watching her get a little wimpy). They get married because his parents threatened him (even though he’s nearing 40, I guess that’s a thing in South Korea) and she doesn’t want to leave Seoul.
COUPLE#2: I hated these two more than anyone. Yang Ho Rang (played by Kim Ga Eun) and Shim Won Seok (Played by Kim Min Seok) have been dating for 7 years and living together for much of that time. She wants to get married and have kids and he doesn’t know what he wants, and he developed an unsaleable up that he’s been spending a lot of time trying to sell. (For someone so smart, he was way stupid on what is a good idea.) He is fighting marriage and she wants marriage……and they break up and get back together only to break up to get back together again….lather, rinse, repeat.
COUPLE#3: Woo Soo Ji (played by Lee Som) wants to be a CEO and never get married so she can care for her mother. Ma Sang Goo (played by Park Byung Eun) is a CEO and seems to be a player but ends up wanting to have a serious stable relationship with Soo Ji who fights him tooth and nail. She fears taking risks that might hurt her income because she is worried about her mother…..more confusion and sadness ensues.
This isn’t a bad show, I’m feeling a little sarcastic writing this review because it put me through the ringer. To be honest, I cried through episode 7 – 9 and sometimes out loud sobbing (how embarrassing). I’ve never cried so hard through any drama including Goblin and The Untamed. Why? Why did they need to do that to me? This is why I prefer fantasy or comedy shows instead of these painful realistic dramas that remind me that life is WAY TOO hard sometimes.
I will give it a good rating, but I’ll never watch it again. It hurts too much, and no show should hurt this much. From sexual assault to sexual harassment to revolting parents (his parents are just too much for me), this show touches (very nicely) on some uncomfortable subjects which they deal with head on and in technicolor. This show illustrates a lot of important women’s issues and does so with elegance and strength. Hat’s off to the screen writer. She did an incredible job! The friendship between the 3 women is so AWESOME.......but it would take too long to write about it here. I'll write an article about it. Again.....this writer is very talented.
MUSIC:
It was good but frankly, I just can’t relive a single second of this show so no interest in downloading anything.
REWATCH VALUE:
No way. That would just be considerably difficult, and tissues are in short supply in my area of the country.
OVERALL:
This is a good show. It’s a sad show at times, but the writing, the plot, the dialogue are insightful, smart, and quite lovely. So watch it, but please….only if you have tissues on hand.
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Seriously, Minki acting's so great. JiHo's character is also great. She's not typical female lead in korean drama who too strong or too weak. I found her character was so fit, not too strong and not too weak. Sometimes she's strong but in other time she's weak. Her character was so natural. I also like CEO Ma. He's a good friend for SeHee and also good partner for SooJi. Not really like SooJi's character in the beginning, but in the end I like her. I don't really like the other couple HoRang and WonSeok. I found the last couple was too much. HoRang's love was too much unnatural. Not really like that character. Also I found Wonseok was lil bit annoying.
But overall, I found that this drama was so amazing with great casts. It worth to watch it.
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If you're sensitive, I don't recommend this drama
It was great, really great. but once I got to episode 10, I couldn't keep watching for my mental health. 😅 Too much happened all at once and it was an emotional rollercoaster. the acting was amazing as well as the characters, so if you enjoy a good cry, watch Because This is My First Life!!!!My favorite character was CEO Ma. (he's such a cutie pie) Jiho's character was really solid too, not stereotypically clumsy, sensitive, etc. she was very much her own person and you can tell she was very well written.
I'm so sorry, I'm not very good at writing stuff.
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I love this drama so much!
Honestly, I loved this drama so much!I loved to watch all the characters develop and growing up, even when thery are in their 30's they still have a lot to learn about the world and themselves!
In the beginning I really liked this drama because it made me laugh. The male lead seemed a little strange to me at first (and I loved it) + he has an adorable cat, which I also loved a lot!!
The drama got more real and emotional through every episode and I loved how they showed the charechters stories in the show.
What really emerged me to keep watching this drama was the male lead tho, since I feel like he is the one with the most development. Spolier: To see how he grew from not wanting to love anyone, and only loving his cat, to watch him choosing her over picking the cat up, to then watch him go all in with his love. To see how he showed more and more emotions throughout the drama and punch and cry over her in the end: Truly beautiful.
I will say that I found the drama kind of toxic for some moments though... Mostly in the main couple, especially when she leaves him, all though I kinda get why she did it... But still... kinda toxic.
Another thing is that I don't get why the couple of 7 years ended up getting back together, I feel like the only thing she did was whine about him all the time and he was the only one who needed to make changes and sacrifices. But everyone to their own taste I guess...
In the end, I really ended up liking this drama a lot more than I expected and I will probraly watch it again sometime <3
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Best Korean Drama to Date
Everything about this show is so good.if you like more understated shows that have strong character development, as well as no random drama just for the sake of drama or filler, this is it. it's gentle with some really cute, funny moments while also having substance.
this is one of the only shows in which, when characters have conflict, the outcome actually makes sense. their actions and motivations make sense. nothing is done for the sake of "dramas gotta drama."
the leads work really well together, and the way the show ends is just perfect. they have really interesting and unique chemistry.
I rewatch this show every couple of months to make life make sense and restore faith in love, relationships, and the future.
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Real characters, real issues, real pacing problems.
This drama was a bit off the beaten track in that it dares explore a lot of current Korean social issues and does not sugar coat things, so it makes it different than most romantic dramas. The 2 main leads start as Landlord and Tenant after mistakenly assuming each other's gender due to their names (she thinks he's a girl and he thinks she is a man). As she is a great tenant, one thing leads to another and they end up in a contract marriage of convenience, which while abhorrent to those who believe in love, actually is a good foundation to start any relationship since once you live with someone and know what type of person they are, compatibility then becomes companionship that eventually leads to love? This is not far fetched at all, in fact, many people kind of do this without the explicit contract.The second couple has a different issue. The man wants to make it big as an app developer. His girlfriend just wants to get married as she has kind of based her entire identity as a person on getting married to a certain type of man. Her insecurity and his reluctance to give up on his dream are explored fully. They've dated for 7 years but still no proposal. Recipe for disaster. If you think about this, and why she's so weak and insecure, you'll probably realize you know many women who are in the same situation. Of course, you've also advised them to leave the guy. Truth is, men will eventually decide they are ready for marriage, and whichever girl they are with at that time is the lucky one (look at Prince Harry). If the girl lets go of him before then, she loses out. It's a terrible social dilemma for the woman as her "value" as a girl friend or wife diminishes the longer the clock keeps ticking. Just. Terrible.
The final couple has an ambitious girl with a disabled mother, and probably the nicest guy of the bunch. She faces all kinds of sexism at the workplace, that kind of stuff has happened to me in real life. There is honestly no way to beat that system - employing legal means still leaves a woman's reputation in tatters even IF she wins. To say I was triggered would be an understatement. I loved this couple the most. So, all the characters, stories and soundtrack are good.
Where this fails miserably is the pacing. It is slow as heck, and there's many flashback done for stylistic purposes that just messes up the plot. I swear, if the main lead actress could only speak faster and not sound like she. puts. a. period. after. every. word. like. thus. the show would only be 12 episodes instead of 16 and I would have rated this a 9.5 instead of a 8, I was being generous and awarded 2 stars just for "our" kitty the beautiful Ragdoll plus the main lead's brilliant portrayal of being drunk.
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Jung Somin carried, show lacked character development
It's worth the watch if you like slice of life. I loved Jung Somin's acting a lot. She's such a gem. Her natural acting was perfect for this role. The side actors & actresses were A+ as well. If you like shows that focus on side characters, you'll probably like this too.My biggest takeaways were the dialogues. The writer did a great job with the poems and stories they included. I can guarantee they will give you a new perspective to life. My favorite one was about when a new person enters your life.
But I've got to say, it wasn't as good as people made it seem. The plot was nothing special and neither was Lee Minki's acting. I wasn't impressed by him at all. Sehee (his character) is robotic and seemingly emotionless. He eventually falls for Jiho, but my biggest complaint is they didn't show HOW Sehee falls in love with her. He suddenly started thinking about her and liking her. I wish the show put more effort into his character development.
The character development with the side characters was a little more promising. Jiho's and Sehee's friends start dating too but they're complete opposites. I can see how they fell in love, but still - I wish there were more scenes showing how it happened.
My favorite character was Jiho's mom played by Kim Sunyoung. Jiho's mom has first hand experience living in a patriarchal household. She made sure Jiho wouldn't suffer the same way she did. KSY did a fantastic job of showing a mother's sacrifice and love for her daughter. I only cried once during the show and it was while watching one of her scenes (with the album).
The ending (the most important part for me!) was completely rushed. I was disappointed because the side plots were introduced carefully in the beginning but there wasn't great closure for them. The show did a good job of showing how marriage isn't as easy as it looks, but in the end, everyone got married to each other?! I'm sure they could've done a better job because the plot was slow at times, so there was definitely opportunity to build out important parts of the show better.
I probably shouldn't have given this show such a high rating, but I liked Jung Somin's acting THAT much lol.
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because this is my first life: Sexism, misogyny, and discrimination against women in the workplace
After completing BTIMFL for the second time, I became aware of the reoccurring theme of the treatment of women, especially within the workplace.The opening scene features a narration of the FL (Ji Ho, played by Jung So Min) explaining how she grew up in a patriarchal household, where she was pretty much ignored and disregarded. Her freedom never came to her until she was much older. In fact, her father only really shows an interest in her when she says she is getting married.
The FL has to go through various situations in which she is treated horribly by her male coworker, which leads to her other coworkers defending him and supporting him, rather than siding with the FL, the victim. This causes her to quit once she realises that they would have just continued to use her and discredit her. She has no voice within her workplace simply due to the fact that she is a woman.
The 2nd FL (Soo Ji), played by Esom, also has to experience similar discrimination with her being a female, along with the fact that she has a stigma around her for her personal choice to be sex-positive and not committed to relationships. The judgment she faces is addressed in a conversation with her romantic partner, in which she explains the hypocrisy of being a woman and the double-edged sword that is constantly pointed at her regardless of the choices she makes.
We also see their mothers who have sacrificed their own happiness for the sake of their daughters, and in turn, their daughters who have been able to have a better life. The FLs are able to realise how much their mothers have done for them, thus making them closer with them as they are able to appreciate them.
Admittedly, the other FL, Ho Rang (played by Kim Ga Eun, was quite annoying during my first watch due to some of her selfish choices. However, upon my rewatch, I can notice and understand her and her actions. To her, the traditional route of becoming a housewife is what she desires. In a scene after a school reunion, we see how she feels less than her school peers who are married with children. Struggling to get by with little money, she aspires to get married and settle down in order to not feel so inferior. Her pride holds onto the idea of one day being able to settle down, and constantly boasts about her long-time boyfriend, yet struggles to be upfront with him and tell him what she wants from their relationship. Hence why some of her decisions come across as selfish and ignorant. Additionally, there are a few scenes in which both she and a coworker are criticised by a male superior, further perpetuating the idea that she is less than and worthless even.
These characters all display how the patriarchy invites hypocrisy and condescending behaviour due to the choices made by women. Whilst these characters are able to be happy in the end, the sexism they face continues. Despite the 20th and 21st centuries showing the change with laws, enabling women to have a bigger presence within the public sphere, attitudes towards women remain the same from a macro perspective. BTIMFL is a great example of this, which is why I highly recommend this drama. The actors all showcase their characters uniquely, showing the different sides to adulthood, the workplace, and romance.
11 07 21
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✒ Family Marriage & Sex In The City Seoul °7.7° °VG°
Boo-hoo, Ji-hoo❕We meet her when she's face-to-face with complete failure; a bona fide low point.
Raised by a patri-to❌ic father & a sympathetic-on-the-sly mom, she needs relief now. What she getz is this: Though she's a talented script writer, the TV station wants to credit her work to a known entity, in order to boost viewership. She needs fair recognition NW.
She lives with her brother. /She/ paid the depo$it / mainten-cent$ / expen$e$ / replaced appliance$ & more↗. While she was mandatorily sequestered at writer #1's office crunchin a deadline, her brother married his preggos GF. Nobody told Ji-hoo that GF-now-the-Mrs has moved in. Upon her return, when she innocently poked her head into her brother's room to say 'hi', Ji-hoo found ☢ut the hard-☹-way. Given that 🗻Dad🗻 is thrilled that Ji-hoo is about to be an aunt - the aunt of a #nephew (IT'S A B✨Y!!), she knows it's Game Over. There will be no getting that won back. She needs =equality=]> RIGHT N✴W.
Even after she'd been sexually harassed at work, she was asked to "Just work with us." They won't give her equal rights N⏱W. "Your time will come. We promise." She needs a new J.O.B. N⭕W.
She quits. N✴W❗
now she can't afford her rent
She.needs.aff⚙rdable.h⚙using.n⏱w#
$he absolutely, most direly needs affordable housing tonight
Engineer Se-hee is a self-isolated loner who has trapped himself in a rigid life, devoid of joy. His only goals are to maintain his strict schedule, save up $, and pay off his home mortgage asap. Nothing is going to work out for him without a roommate, though. He ran those calculations years back. The rental income is required in order to keep his journey to financial Buelah Land on track. ⭕ of his roommates ever work out, though. He even had to call the police on the last. He needs a compatible roommate N☹W…
Right on time, here come their bands of buddies. Se-hee's friends & Ji-hoo's friends are linked thru Ho-rang (Rang) & Won-seok, who have been dating the better part of a decade. None of the women have met the men yet. Based on names alone, each gang assumes they have a perfect landlord-tenant match-up for their bud. They weren't /trying/ to create a coed dorm, which is not as acceptable in conservative K-country . Well, didn't /they/ stumble onto something??
Thus is the show's opening. Ji-hoo & Se-hee are planted within 15ft of eachother with the cat going back and forth between them as a fluffy emissary. It grows from there. As it turns out, they are very✨compatible. Se-hee's ex-roomies never came close to the competence of Ji-hoo-roomie. It's several days of co-habbing before they even meet, due to conflicting schedules. When they discover the "setup", they plan to separate. But... well… things are working out so well...
So well, in fact, that Se-hee, who works for the App: ‘Don't 'Marry, Date', pulls a reverse play & proposes! They should get married! ? !WAIT! That's wrong. He PR⛔-Posed. He wants to marry for 'Not Love'. No one will question their living situation if they do. That way, his parents won't continue nag him about marriage, plus his dad has offered to pay off his mortgage when he marries. Ji-hoo benefits as she'll have the affordable housing she needs to stay in Seoul, rather than go home to live with M&D. CEO Ma always says that 2 are better than 1. Coincidentally, Ji-hoo had just finished writing: A Dork's Love. Is she about to marry a dork?
This writer is a clever devil. Going into the real-but-fake ceremony, Jihoo's mom talks to her about love & marriage in the bridal chamber and causes Ji-hoo to S⛈B. The unfeeling, ever practical Se-hee comes looking for his missing bride and finds her in that state. He says these words to Ji-hoo: "You can't stop crying? Then, we'll go together. It's all right if you cry. Come with me. I'll stay by your side. I will be with you." Sounds like a vow; an intimate vow between the 2 of them, alone in the bride's chambers. It's not yet ♥️. It's genuine friendship & comraderie + a promise of loyalty. It's not a fake marriage. Not really.
BTIMFL sets out with a light-hearted tone~>> a couple's friends eventually meet & interest sparks. The characters are rounded off nicely. There's a generous amount of Mars & Venus (man/woman) misunderstandings. No relationship in the series is w/o static. The romance between Soo-ji and Ceo Ma is the most fun. He's a catch - he even does a musical number! She finally comes to see who he is. The side characters greatly enhance the series.
Like ♥️, BTIMFL hurts sometimes. What's unnecessarily ♥️-rending is how Ji-hoo leaves and stays away - for what looks like weeks, maybe more. While the cutting with the snappy sounds is generally a fun touch, this later sadness is resoundingly out of sync with the quirky elements. Why would she cause such unnecessary pain to Se-hee? There's a clip of her having a good old time with her friends, while his world falls apart. She knows she's returning to him, while at the same time, he's demolished by heartbreak. The viewer feels his pain.
The show became so sad that the ending didn't lift me back up. It comes close to ruining the series, and it didn't even make sense! It's an example of awful Kdrama MSS (Mandatory Separation Syndrome: An overused Kdrama device in which the couple is separated by distance after professing love, but prior to their Happily Ever After). MSS is routinely awful. While there are times it's for the best, usually, MSS is detrimental to a series. How could a couple that has just come together, often after many struggles, bear to be apart? Why, oh why, are they compelled to write it in? Furthermore, in the emotionally wrenching letter Ji-hoo's mom wrote to Se-hee, she asked him to stay by Ji-hoo's side when she cries. Ji-hoo dumps him cold, allowing him to despair alone. What ugly irony.
The primary theme of BTIMFL is equality for women in a hyper-patriarchal society. Ha-rang wears a shirt that says "Raise girls and boys the same." We'll see a 2nd woman sexually harassed while trying to build her career. BTIMFL addresses this tired out, but still "what's happening now" indignity competently - 1 flagrant scene is like a horrible sexual harassment training video that the cubicle overlords foist on their employees. {If that's what's still going on in SK, they definitely need to tweak the power balance somehow. Women's rights were stalled there due to a military dictatorship (1961-1979) that solely focused on maintaining power, giving no thought to protecting the vulnerable.}
BTIMFL features The Disease: Good Daughter i/l Disease, in which dtr i/l's are
treated as slaves by the in-laws. That ain't healthy. Ji-hoo's mom is able to read it between the teas when the family's meet. She didn't want her daughter living her life as a slave to the In-laws. Still, the show is a little cynical about family life. It is entirely appropriate to prevent a mother i/l from bullying a young wife, but it's usually not a reason to withdraw from all family interactions. Their agreement to holiday separately is highly questionable. If a set of their parents is not respectful of them or their marriage, separation is appropriate. Apparently i/l's abusing their kid’s spouse is a pro-sport in K-country, so the writer is proposing a viable solution. We can hope that the separate holidays will rejoin if they have children. That all serves to drag down the production, which is outstanding through 13 episodes.
No show is without flaws. Besides MSS, the last three episodes end the show on a more sour / less sweet note. BTIMFL is amusing until around Ep14, where long, overdone, and wearisome shots framing Ji-hoo's pain-gripped face keep the series from continuing forward. The pacing is otherwise steady. Without that drag, the show's easily an 8+.
The poetry in BTIMFL, the discussions of literature, and "Room 19" add depth. "Room 19" is now part of my consciousness and vocab. This series tricks us into thinking it will be a lite piece, only to punch us later with surprising depth. Some notables are:
▶"We don't even know ourselves, so how could we know the dark sides of others?" 5✨
▶"When a person comes, it is in fact a tremendous thing. That person's entire life comes with them - Because it's fragile, so it may have been broken before - the heart that's close."✨
▶"A heart isn't something that is taken or grabbed. It comes to you." ✨
We can all applaud that, can't we?
Overall this is a VG view. One of the best things can can be said is that it leaves plenty for discussion. Spare us the mindless pap, which this show is not. My favorite FAVORITE takeaway from watching this is when Soo-ji declares: "I'd rather be a crazy bℹtch than a pathetic wench." Amen.
QUOTES⚜️
If I were to tell the 20 old me, would that punk believe me?
Ji-hoo! You should go out and get pregnant tonight. We're going to a club! (Soo-ji. Woman of action.)
Perhaps, if you have some time, would you marry me?
〰 IMHO 〰
Directing 7
Writing 8
Acting 7.5
Romance 7
Flutters 5
Warmth 5
Art 6
Excitement 5
Laughs 5
Thought provocation 8
Ending 4
Age 14+
Watch again? ✅ twice and counting…
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Highly enjoyable (despite the unbelievable premise)
Out of all the "fake relationship" dramas out there (granted, I have only seen a few), this one had the most justifiable premise -- which still does not mean that it was entirely believable :) All the same, it was interesting to see how the show tried to balance the comedic and the truly dramatic components.On the positive side:
* The leads, for once, are more fleshed out and interesting than the supporting characters! Maybe it's because they are not cast to be "the most beautiful" or "the most interesting" (both lead actors are very attractive, obviously, but they play the parts of ordinary people). The supporting characters have their own story arcs, but are definitely much more one-dimensional and somewhat caricaturish.
* The story flows relatively well and the events make sense (until the last episode or two, at least).
The negatives:
* That last, artificial, incomprehensible dramatic turn -- why? what for? (I refer to the "Mongolia trip" for those initiated to the series.) It made no sense. I wondered if it was a translation issue, and that maybe I missed something, but I watched those episodes with two different sets of translations, and it still made no sense...
* The show kept coming up with, and changing, the "leading theme" (or, to put it differently, the aphorism it was trying to explore; the zeitgeist it was trying to tap into; etc.): First it was the patriarchy; at some point it was finding the special small moments to be happy with things; then it was something weird about being unconventional... I think the overall trajectory of the show would have been more enjoyable and less jarring if the writers had picked one leading thought and stuck with it.
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