An Old Lady (2020)

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If elder abuse is a taboo subject that is rarely afforded the serious consideration and action that such horrors demand, then elder sexual abuse is even more so. Playing at the 2020 Toronto International Film Festival as a Private Screening, with her film An Old Lady, South Korean filmmaker Lim Sun-ae tackles an extraordinarily challenging subject with such enormous grace, delicacy, compassion and thoughtfulness that it renders this close-to-perfect film as one of the year’s most easily missed cinema highlights.

The film follows Hyo-jeong (Ye Soo-jung), who we first meet in the film’s opening moments in total darkness. Over a black screen, we hear her politely chat to a male nurse during a physical therapy session, his flattery increasing until a narrative ellipses and a dramatic cut to the abstracted, empty hospital itself implies without relying on sensationalized explicitness that something has clearly happened. As the title suggests, Hyo-jeong is very much a “lady” in the most traditional sense of the word; she is polite, reserved, and clearly does not like to make a fuss. How a 69 year old woman who has been raped in a hospital by a care giver responds to this situation is largely the question around which An Old Lady spins.

While there are numerous factors that render An Old Lady such an important film, the combined performance of Ye Soo-jung with Lim Sun-ae – the latter of whom also wrote the screenplay – is very much the engine that drives the film to its gentle but authentic conclusion. Making a film about rape is already a ethically challenging terrain, but by so fearlessly deciding to add the element of elder abuse to the equation, Lim Sun-ae proves herself to be braver than most.

Even more importantly, of course, is how well she succeeds: Hyo-jeong is never reduced to a pathetic victim, but neither is she patronizingly rendered as an unbelievable superhero. Her challenges feel real and are handled with great sensitivity: was the encounter consensual and did Hyo-jeong merely forget, possibly suffering from the first stages of dementia? The questions Lim Sun-ae knows the audience are, in our most shameful moments, asking ourselves are made explicit in the film by Hyo-jeong herself as she struggles to deal not only with the trauma of what happened to her, but her lack of faith in her own capacity to remember it with clarity.

There’s a sense of sadness with a film this courageous and well executed about such a difficult subject that it will go largely unseen, the taboo nature of the subject matter alone turning an audience off. But that alone is precisely what makes this film so urgent; An Old Lady tells us something we don’t really want to hear in a way that makes us forget why we refused to listen for so long.

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"If the victim was a young woman, would he be in custody by now?"

Director Im Seon Ae shone a spotlight on a topic rarely spoken about---sexual abuse of elders in An Old Lady. If rape is hard to prosecute with a young healthy woman, it’s even harder to prosecute with an “old lady.” There was nothing gratuitous in the film but Im made her point quite clear nonetheless.

Sim Hyo Jeong is having a follow-up appointment after knee surgery. The casual conversation with the nursing assistant begins to make her uncomfortable and then the unthinkable happens. She later tells her live-in boyfriend, Nam Dong In, that she needs to go to the police. With some difficulty she fills out the paperwork to report a rape. With even more difficulty she endures a police interrogation where an officer quips that the nurse took “hospitality” too far. The investigation drives a wedge between her and Nam. While Sim handles the situation quietly and begins to distance herself from it as the prosecution shows disinterest, Nam ramps up his efforts to have the nurse arrested.

The film was set in 2012, apparently after a new law was enacted. The crux of the issue for the prosecutor was that who would believe a 29-year-old would rape a 69-year-old? Excuse me while I climb up on my soapbox. For all those sitting in the back: Rape is not a crime of desire, it is a crime of power and violence. Rapists don’t care how old or young a woman is, whether a woman is in a coma, or anything else. These are men who prey on the defenseless. They will prey on “friends”, the drunk girl at the party who passed out on the couch, a stranger, a small child, or old women in nursing homes. It doesn’t matter what a woman is wearing, her makeup or her sexual history. These men are predators plain and simple. The law in most countries barely protects obvious victims of violent sexual assault, much less ones with fewer physical wounds. And too often the law worries about “ruining” a man’s life disregarding the permanent wound in the woman’s.

Ye Soo Jung is an excellent veteran actress who brought quiet dignity and even quieter pain to the role of Sim. Ki Ju Bong as Nam, the widower and once poet, turned determined crusader for Sim also gave a powerful performance. If I have any quibbles, the transitions were wobbly at times, not explaining the changes in the characters’ lives clearly enough.

Despite my reservations about the vague transitions and revelations, this was an important film. Too often, the elderly are scuttled to the shadows so that people can forget them and their own mortality. 10% of people older than 69 suffer from some form of abuse-in their own home, a facility, or elsewhere. They may not be able to defend themselves physically, cognitively, or financially. I applaud Im Seon Ae for calling out the gross deficiencies in the social mindset and law enforcement for sexual abuse of older women. Sim found her own path to justice when the law let her down. Not as satisfying, but what she needed for peace of mind.

“The spring sun shines even on a teardrop.”

25 August 2026

Trigger warnings: Obviously, sexual assault. The assault was alluded to, but not shown graphically.

Notes: In my country it is important to go to a hospital immediately after a sexual assault so that a rape kit can be performed and evidence preserved. Even if you don't think you'll press charges, you might change your mind later and at least in this way you are covered. The rape kits are not always processed in a timely manner, and getting a prosecutor to bring charges is still hit or miss, but at least it boosts the chances of a conviction.

Unprofessional conduct note: The nursing assistant used the "she was asking for it" defense. He should have at least been fired for copulating on duty, even if admin didn't believe Sim's accusation. Try explaining that one in his next job interview.

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