Ninja, The Violent Sorcerer (1982)

"We're all sick of Baker's vampires and bullying!"

Some movies are so bad they are good. Some movies are so bad they are bad. And then there is Ninja the Violent Sorcerer that is so bad it is WTF? Spliced and diced from The Stunning Gambling (1982) with new footage added for a story told in English, assumed director Godfrey Ho created a Frankenstein film of gambling, ninjas, a vengeful ghost, and hopping vampires.

Gambling pro Mr. Myer, is tricked into killing himself during a gambling bet with the evil Mr. Baker. Myer’s dead wife appears in ghostly form to his brother Roger and tells him he must avenge her husband. Baker cheated by using hopping vampires…somehow. Collins works for Baker by shaking down people who owe the baddie money and using the invulnerable hoppers as muscle. What Baker and Collins don’t know is that Roger is secretly a ninja (white). His buddy, Ken, is also a ninja (green) and amateur Taoist. They have Myer’s son contact Webber, an incredible gambler who has turned into a drunk. Webber is the only man who has a chance at beating Baker. Roger and Ken gear up to take on Collins and his jianshi hitmen while Webber attempts to bring down Baker.

I was lured into watching this film with the promise of Angela Mao and hopping vampires. It was false advertising in regards to Angela. She appeared briefly in one scene where she handed Webber, who was suffering from the shakes, a bottle of booze. The hopping vampires did appear fairly often. And I actually bumped my score up for the actors’ commitment to their craft. Despite two ninjas attacking them, they kept their arms in front of them and continued to hop. The ninjas were at a loss as to how to stop the hoppers. Where’s Lam Ching Ying when you need him?

Godfrey Ho had 40 different pseudonyms and most people are convinced Bruce Lambert was one of them. If you enjoy his patented form of theatrical chaos and mania, you might want to try this. Of if you are curious how not very good ninjas would stack up against hopping vampires, you might want to try this. Otherwise, best to hop on by.

23 October 2024
Trigger warnings: Brief nudity. Really bad acting.

Leggi di Più