Secret Relationships (2025)

A Tale of Three Suitors

The drama, "Secret Relationships," plunges viewers into a world of passion as three suitors vie for the heart of a man named Jun Seo (Da On)

Of Jun Seo (Da On)'s suitors, two display red flag behaviors that worsen over time. Sun Hyung (Seong Hyeon) distinguishes himself as the sole suitor genuinely committed to Jun Seo (Da On)'s well-being. He watches over Jun Seo (Da On), ever-ready to come to his aid and catch him before he can fall and hit the ground

A standout feature of this drama is its thoughtful examination of trauma and love's therapeutic power in mending emotional scars

"I don't deserve to love or be loved, everyone around me ends up miserable" (episode 7, 13:29)

We see the traumatized Da On in a mindset where he deems himself unworthy of experiencing love. However, he deserves to be loved and the possibility of a healthy relationship with Seong Hyeon is what he needs to rediscover his worth and find happiness. "You can't keep hiding forever, please, stop running away," drama Seong Hyeon says (episode 7, 21:04), encouraging drama Da On to confront his demons. Just like in the manhwa, drama Seong Hyeon is a turning point for drama Da On and the best thing that's ever happened to him: https://imgur.com/a/13vcR6T

Brilliantly written and executed, "Secret Relationships" is a must-watch for everyone. The four male leads have taken BL/gay Kdramas to new heights with their performances, and I, for one, crave more of their talent in the genre

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“You can always be on the receiving end.”

To say I was impressed is an understatement. I am honestly shocked how well this story was presented, acted and developed for how short it was. It was engaging from the beginning till the end. It completely took over my life for a month. I am not ashamed to admit, this will be a full on positive analysis of the unforgettable story. I will point out some minor flaws I have seen, but for making me this obsessed, I cannot care for them too much.

This is a great presentation of how external circumstances can shape a person. How one can be a perpetrator without being a victim first, be a victim and become the perpetrator, and sometimes just be the victim who tries to free themselves out of the abuse. How one cannot be saved from toxic relationships, they need to leave them willingly. How our current situation is not always our fault, but it is our responsibility.

I appreciate so much that Da On did not fall under either a submissive shy mouse, nor a chaotic victim who acts with no reason. I loved how he did try to set boundaries, sometimes he managed to, sometimes he failed. He knew the limits of how much he can do without putting himself in harm's way. There was a clear pattern to his behavior - he was more willing to say no to Su Hyeon in public, than in private. He set boundaries and when the situation escalated, he gave in. Yes, him not being straightforward was frustrating to watch, but that’s life. Su Hyeon had too much power over Da On’s life. There was too much trauma associated with his aggressive behavior to move past it quickly. Leaving an abusive relationship takes time, learning how to set boundaries has to be learned. It’s a process.

Even with limited length, they were able to explain the context of Da On’s life. Being neglected, living in a toxic environment, feeling like he has to carry too much responsibility from a young age, being ridiculed for being poor, isolated from others by Jae Min, attacked and abused, and on top of that abandoned by the person he liked. He did not know what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Or what is an appropriate behavior. He was simply groomed by Jae Min - to trust him only, alone with no other relations. Being groomed for 11 years has a massive impact on you, and you cannot just cut these people off like it’s not a big deal. Even if they do something awful, traumatic, scary - they have been part of you and your life. Da On acting like that was annoying, but it was not lazy writing. People wanted him to go from victim to a completely healthy person with proper coping mechanisms right away, and were frustrated when it did not happen.

Out of all the scenes, the one that truly got me a bit confused was when Da On willingly left the building and got into Su Hyeon’s car just to avoid Seong Hyeon. This scene was weirdly constructed and contradictory. They were really clear Da On wanted to have nothing to do with Su Hyeon… but then he put himself in the position to be with him alone with no valid external reason.

I also lowered my rating from a perfect 10 to 9.5 because of that presentation. That scene was more psychotic than anything Jae Min did in the whole show. After being kidnapped and almost killed, witnessing the man he loves stabbed, having his face smeared with blood… He went and did the presentation. What the actual fuck.

That said, except for these two moments, while his actions were frustrating, they were cohesive, they made sense in the context of the show and who he was as a character, they were believable. I will die on this hill if needed, but I do believe Da On was not a weak person nor weak character. And here comes the compliments for Kim Jun Seo’s acting. I cannot believe this was his first role. To be able to present so much vulnerability and deep emotions, while also showing determination and strength. The duality!

Then we have the toxic and the psycho - Su Hyeon and Jae Min. Can we appreciate that we got two completely different and distinctive versions of different abusive relationships thanks to these characters? We really got a deep dive on what can go wrong between two people. Be it constant criticism and belittlement, psychical violence and intimidation, excessive jealousy and controlling behavior, lack of respect and boundaries that Su Hyeon presented, or lies and deception, emotional manipulation and gaslighting, unhealthy dependence and isolation that we saw with Jae Min. They are both toxic, they are both unhealthy, even if they are vastly different.

I know people love to have a soft spot for Su Hyeon, mostly because of his rather tough upbringing in a psychotic family and how he was not as aggressive in the flashbacks. I get it. But the fact is - there is nothing redeemable about him in the present timeline and I strongly believe even without Jae Min in the picture, he would still turn violent at some point. Why? Because from the start the issue was not Jae Min, but Su Hyeon’s complete lack of emotional maturity and emotional regulation. If it’s not Jae Min, he would snap because of his family. If not the family, he would snap if Da On would not be able to handle the constant micromanagement, jealousy and possessiveness. Su Hyeon does not know how to deal with negative emotions and frustration, they always lead to anger and aggression.

Yes, the flashbacks were great. I agree that the library scene with him pinning Da On on the desk and the chat about the ring was great. But putting it into the context of who his character is and how he behaved - this is way too little for me to see him as a right person for Da On. Or anyone if I must be honest. Maybe a “hot date” with a psychiatrist. Can he get better? Yes. But that would require a lot of work. To be honest, I did not want him to be redeemable, but the last episode changed my mind a little bit. I struggled with seeing what could possibly happen for me to believe he might change. But with how psychopathic Jae Min became, I think the shock of that situation could potentially be enough to make Su Hyeon do 180.

On the other hand I believe Jae Min cannot get better. The difference for me between Su Hyeon and Jae Min is why they act the way they do. Su Hyeon had bad tendencies that were reinforced by his environment - he learned a lot of negative actions from his aggressive father. As far as I see it, Jae Min’s natural negative tendencies were actually held back by his environment. The advantages of acting good and not going full psycho were strong enough to keep him in check. Let’s be honest, if he grew up in the same environment that Su Hyeon did, by university age he would be a serial killer.

And that’s when I knew the one that kidnapped Da On was Jae Min. Because it’s not something Su Hyeon would be capable of doing. Not that he wouldn’t want to, he just couldn’t. Su Hyeon would never go full psycho, because he still has many things that limit him and things he fears - especially his family and his father. He acted out as much as he could with the external restrictions he had.

On the other hand the only restrictions Jae Min had were the ones he placed on himself. He acted as this model teacher, great friend, cool hyung - perfect man, because it was advantageous for him. He controlled himself, because it was worth it. But when he lost control over Da On, keeping that perfect persona was useless, he let go of all the restrictions he placed on himself, and now nothing was stopping him from going full loco.

And when Jae Min went full loco, he truly did not hold back. What glorious moments these were. I am amazed with Kim Ho Young’s acting. You watch him act and you understand why people believed his fake personality. But you also truly see how out of control he is when the hell breaks loose. Whenever it was his nice act, or the chaotic outburst - they were acted perfectly.

Cha Jung Woo did not do worse. Truth to be told, the whole cast did an amazing job. Kim Su Hyeon was such an annoying character, and yet even I saw the charm he had during some scenes. I could understand why Da On fell for him. And the last episode? Outstanding.

While these character had many differences there was one thing that they had in common - they wanted to own Da On, claiming they love him. Love and obsession are different though. Neither of them truly cared about Da On, his feelings, happiness, life, well-being. All that mattered was to possess him. They both believed it would be better to have him in their life broken (or dead), than set him free. From the start they kept using terms like “What I want”, “What I lost” - indicating they saw Da On not as a person, but as a thing they wanted to possess.

And that’s when Seong Hyeon shows up. And you know what I love about this character? That he makes mistakes. That he is not in fact this perfect green flag with no flaws. He is a human being with his own feelings that also get hurt. He sometimes reacted emotionally, childish even. And that’s what made him real. Because of these moments when he acted more selfish, when he did something without thinking - that’s what made his character more interesting.

While he had a lot of great personality traits like being helpful, kind, patient, mature when dealing with setting boundaries, and confident, he also had many relatable flaws. He was childish and pity when he thought someone was not following certain social norms he deemed important. Sometimes he regretted saying something, sometimes he regretted taking actions. And then at times he regretted backing off.

One of the aspects of his character I found the most fascinating was his ability to be really flexible in his reactions and behaviors. Depending on the external context, he reacted differently to the situation, but it was all consistent with his motivations and goals. He was more straightforward with Da On when he saw he was in a good “state”, he tried to distract Da On instead if he saw he was exhausted. Even without understanding the reasons behind Da On’s state, he was really good at reading his emotions and acting accordingly.

What separates him from Jae Min and Su Hyeon is the fact he knows how to love and how to receive love. How to care for people and receive that help. How to view relationships as mutual support and not transactions. For Seong Hyeon it is not “I want”, but “Can I?”. Can I stay with you? Can I hold your hand? While Jae Min and Su Hyeon try to control Da On, Seong Hyeon gives Da On the choice. He asks instead of stating. While Jae Min and Su Hyeon said they want to be with Da On, Seong Hyeon asks if he can stay with Da On. Yes, he is persistent in his approach, but there is something gentle about it. Rather than forcing himself and his presence, it seems more like a reassurance that he is willing to wait, to fight for Da On, to be there for him. Reminder that he is waiting and still there, whenever Da On is ready.

One thing I feel like Seong Hyeon and Su Hyeon share is the fact they are rather emotionally expressive. The difference? Seong Hyeon is expressive, but in control of his emotions and how he expresses them, while Su Hyeon is completely lost in his emotions and has no control over them. Then Jae Min is not expressive, but also in control of his emotions (until he is not… oops).

Here sadly comes one issue I had writing wise - the non-consensual kiss between him and Da On, and the aftermath of it. Truth to be told, I was not even “angry” at the writer for including the kiss. As I said, I love the fact that Seong Hyeon fucks up from time to time, and this was one of these cases. There was no excuse for that kiss to happen and then continue with Da On being this drunk. But while I can understand what led to it happening, the fact that it was not once addressed later on kind of annoyed me. He apologized for wrong things. It’s less a character fault, but more cultural norm fault though.

Now, Cha Sun Hyung’s acting. I still cannot get over how he switched from Puppy to Guard Dog depending on the scene. The way he was able to present that golden retriever energy, but without looking dumb and silly that often happens with characters like him. He still looked mature, strong and confident.

For the general writing, directing and editing:

I really liked the structure. I think the placement of the flashbacks was perfect. The way they were cut in just the right places to give some information, but also mislead us as viewers. The way they made it seem like Da On liked Jae Min in the past, just to reveal it was Su Hyeon. Or who Su Hyeon attacked and why. They just cut the scenes smartly. How much we want to show, how much we want to confuse the viewers - all seemed like deliberate choices, carefully crafted.

Was the “borderline childhood connection” needed? No. I honestly dislike that so much. This was just… unnecessary and added nothing to the show for me.

I’m not going to lie, I am more of the internal analyzer of the bigger picture and the context, than someone who looks for details and symbolism. So to truly appreciate the production, I had to do some research, because I simply do not pay that much attention to things that are in fact important.

Let’s start with the fact the drama was more or less color coded for specific characters (Da On - yellow, Su Hyeon - green, Jae Min - pink, Seong Hyeon - blue). The scenes for the characters were actually often light in a specific color hue. Even in the intro scene with Da On and Jae Min they used this peach pinkish hue, the scene where Su Hyeon attacked the guy with the bottle was yellowish-green. The color flipped only between Da On and Seong Hyeon. Da On’s narration had a blue background, and the scene between Seong Hyeon and Da On had the yellow/orange warm tone from the setting sun. Am I reading too much, or was it a deliberate choice to hint who the end game is? Who knows, I like to pretend it was all planned and hype myself more about why I love this drama.

Colors aside, they also really did a good job with just the lights and the warmth of it. Perfect example - the scene when Su Hyeon dragged Da On away to his apartment, leaving Seong Hyeon behind. The part of the corridor with Su Hyeon and Da On is cold and dark, while where Seong Hyeon is staning it has this warm orange light.

Then we have the symbolism of chess connected to Jae Min - how from the start it was hinted (for some less, for some more obvious), how he was the mastermind behind it all, how he manipulated both Su Hyeon and Da On for years. How he was the one controlling the situation.

Also, extremely random thought, but white is such a psychopath color, so the fact Jae Min was the only one wearing the white outfit in the intro is just cherry on top. And how it had a comeback when he completely lost his marbles in the last episode. Greatly appreciated.

Overall, what a fucking ride. I get it. This drama had flaws. It was not some high budget production, but the way it won my heart is illogical. One could say I was in a completely toxic and dependent relationship with it for the past month. I’m Da On - blind to flaws the same way he was blind to all these red flags.

If you want to tell me that I’m reading too much into it, overanalyzing things that make no sense. How there was no logic behind the characters behavior and it was all ridiculous - you are free to do so, I might even entertain you with a few replies. But I am not changing my mind. I’m annoyingly stubborn.

Added characters' analysis in comments under spoiler. Written them after episode 6, and damn Jae Min's one had to be quite tweaked - I overestimated how loco he was.

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