Family by Choice

Heart warming family drama with multiple feel good light romances

9/10 is my rating. This is a 2024 South Korean coming of age family romance drama with 16, 60-70 minute episodes.

First I provide a unique synopsis then review

Synopsis

Yoon Jeong-jae (Choi Won-young) is a widower who is raising his young daughter, Yoon Ju-won (Jung Chae-yeon) by himself. He owns and operates a noodle shop to support them both and often provides food to friends and neighbors as a way to show he cares. Because of his kind nature kids are drawn to him as the perfect father figure. He knows that his precious daughter, Ju won, wishes to have a sibling, particularly a brother. The perfect oppa candidate moves in upstairs and the lively and engaging Ju won sets out to win him over as her brother like figure. But the young boy, Kim San-ha (Hwang In-youp) is leading a tragic life with parents who always fight, his mother who leaves, and a sister who died too young. Still Ju won's bubbly determination wears him down and he becomes a regular at Ju won's house. When San-ha's mother leaves, his father, Kim Dae-wook (Choi Moo Sung) is also drawn into the warm family environment Jeong jae provides. Jeong-jae is such an excellent father figure he winds up taking in the child, Kang Hae-jun (Bae Hyun sung) who was also abandoned by has mother and who he only knew of through a brief blind date encounter with his mother. This group forms a family of their own choosing who is all knitted together by Ju won who doesn't allow any of the to feel left out. This is a heart warming story of people who form a strong bond despite many of them not being blood related.

Review

This is a very heartwarming family drama. I watched the Chinese version, Go Ahead, first, and it was an excellent series, but I think the Korean version subtly improved upon it. I believe you could watch either version and still get the same basic story. I liked it enough that I fully enjoyed watching both versions. If you like family dramas, slice-of-life themes, adoption or fostering stories, or if you're just a fan of romance anytime, I highly recommend this one. It's well-acted, with great chemistry between the leads, and everything wraps up nicely.

Spoilers

I liked that the South Korean version didn't focus as much on the time the male lead (ML) character spent with his abusive mother. What I didn't like about either version, though, was the concept that the mother deserved any level of forgiveness just because she was sad or because she was his mother. What she did to him was abuse. With some training in psychology, her behavior closely resembles Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The ML's relationship with his mother was characteristic of a relationship with someone who has BPD-nothing was ever calm. On one hand, she adored him so much that she wanted him around her to the point of desperation, but she was always accusing him of things, getting angry with him for things that weren't even his fault, and being jealous of every relationship he had. She bullied him and manipulated him to stay with her. Many people with BPD have a Jekyll and Hyde personality, where they seem to have two distinct personalities. But with BPD, they flow between these personalities throughout the day. It is part of their personality to be so toxic and volatile. Having dealt with someone with this type of personality, I can say they are extremely hard to be around. I don't think their actions are any more excusable than those of a sociopath. So, I wasn't a fan of the fact that the story wanted us to accept and forgive her actions.

The romance was very believable. It was clear that the male lead never fully saw her as a sister, as he resisted whenever she brought up the idea of changing their names to make them the same. They weren't biologically related, so I thought their relationship was perfectly fine.

I loved the dads. One dad was so nurturing, and the other was a quiet strength. Any kids raised in that environment would thrive. They had all the love and support they would ever need. However, having worked with foster kids, I know they still long for their biological parents. No matter how good the family environment, there is always some level of yearning for biological parents, even if those parents were abusive. It can be heartbreaking, and I thought the series portrayed that well.

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So good! Compared to it's Chinese counterpart - I'd say better quality, but not more enjoyable

Loved it! It was better than the Chinese version in many ways, but I think I enjoyed them just about equally. Equal enjoyment doesn't equate equal quality. I think the overall story was better here. The found family was the best I've seen in a drama (besides Love is Science? but that is a different type of found family). In this version THERE WAS NO LOVE TRIANGLE. God that was so much of a blerg in the Chinese version especially when you compare it to the lack of one in the Korean version. The lack of the love triangle meant that they could do Hae Jun's character SO MUCH JUSTICE. I loved his character. I loved his acting. I never felt bad because he didn't get the girl and you could tell that he played an equally important role in the sister's and the family's life.
(We of course felt bad for him because of his "family situation" but not because he earned second place in his sister's affections - which became the case in the Chinese one. Then that made the relationship between San Ha's equivalent and the sister more central, overshadowing parts of the story that were better fleshed out in the Korean version.
Also, Hwang In Youp's acting was FAR superior to his counterpart. That, of course, is no surprise, because Hwang In Youp is a genius and we're all so so so so so so happy that he finally has his lead role that he deserves.
On the other hand. I will say that I didn't feel the chemistry as much. I felt his longing and love for Ju Won, but I never felt here's for him. It was almost like *snap* she's in love with him and it happened so fast and with nothing to support it and her character kind of felt flaky ever after. NOTE, I saw someone say they didn't like her character/the actress didn't do a great job. (This was before I watched it and why I held back from watching it for so long). I 100% disagree. I thought she did an excellent job. She was the glue that held the family together and she did a perfect job at it. It isn't her fault that they didn't do her justice in giving her the opportunity/reasons to fall in love with San Ha (besides the fact that his love is so apparent and genuine and all-encompassing, but having someone love you that much doesn't equate you loving them, and I just was never convinced. They fit together well and were a cute couple, there was just never the spark that got Ju Won there.)
On that note, while San Ha's counterpart's acting wasn't that good, I did think the couple from the original Chinese version had chemistry that their Korean counterpart lacked. Which is confusing. How can a poorer actor be in a couple that has better chemistry? I think it was directing/how the story played out. I still remember the scene where San Ha's counterpart says he's going to marry her early on... you just have to watch the whole thing.

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Worth a watch with better and worse things.

Personally I am a fan of Go Ahead. The bonds, the friends and family connections and yes even the romance because from my pov, Ling Xiao loved JianJian all his life and never considered her as a sibling. Now to make more sense, about why this worth your time and what I personally thought was did wrong lets list it out..

The Good:
1. Actors did an incredible job. Absolutely made me cry a million tears just like original did. The dads were perfect and so were other, well mostly.
2. The romantic angle of Sanha and Juwon, romance was done better in this one somehow, more mature, more stable and more heart fluttering.
3. The second pairing, thank the lords for that. I wanted the best friend to fulfill her first love and I am glad they got their chance here.
4. Better ML. While Ling Xiao was good but Sanha is incredible, he is more vocal about his feelings, he lashes out when he should and also InYoup for this role was perfect. He did it more justice than the OG. For me he carried the show with the two dads. And his character was the one that made this adaption more on a good side that OG.
5. FL's career choice. I loved how she ended up as baker because she loved cakes and also how they put the sports injury line because that broke my heart.
6. Bromance, in this one brothers were better connected and more comfortable with each other. Well done!

The Bad:
1. FL. I love the actress but Juwon's character was a downgrade for me from Jian Jian. The school Juwon is not as bubbly and quirky, and the adult one is also not as good but still better. She was not as charming at the OG FL for me.
2. The living in Seoul and not meeting for 10 years with a girl you love so dearly, umm...should have send him abroad tbh to make this more believable.
3. Leaving out the adult friendships of females from the OG. I wanted to see that because I absolutely adored it.
4. The SL, he was good but compared to OG, wasn't as mature which I kinda missed.
5. Reunion and FLs reaction. It feels like FL didn't grew up all those 10 years and still whines like that. Any aspect connected to FL was better in OG.

And since Good is a bit more than Bad, I would recommend it. I binged it and it made me cry. Loved bits of it, just didn't end up loving it as much as the Go Ahead.

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A really bad remake of a REALLY good Chinese Drama

I am always sceptical towards remakes but also looking forward to them with the hope of them doing a fair job of the original.
This fell flat on its head. If this was a standalone korean drama It would be average, now when you compare it to the original it feels so shallow in every single way.
After I finished this remake I went back and re-watched Go Ahead and confirmed it again, how superior Go Ahead is.

Go Ahead is one of my favorite Chinese dramas, even that had flaws in the storyline which was fairly annoying. But it was overall a GREAT drama.

Go ahead obviously changes some things here and there which is common in a remake and I don't mind that.

I have several issues with the drama personally.
Acting: The acting is no where near the level of the Chinese drama.
Go ahead managed to show such intense emotions you could literally feel the sorrow deep within you. I hardly felt that all with this, everything felt so shallow and "fake"

Meanwhile the comedic parts was nowhere near Go Ahead, you could see they tried to bring it in but not even close, and some parts were just so horribly bad and fake it was sad to watch.

The progression was WAY to fast, I thought Go Aheads youth pace was way to fast. This just plows through stuff. Obviously Korean dramas are not as long as typical Chinese dramas, but it felt bad after watching the original.

It was a good try, but not no where near good enough.

If you only watched this Korean remake I STRONGLY suggest you watch the original Go Ahead.

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funsies kdrama def recommend

family by choice is a fun drama centered around the relationships of haejun, juwon, and sanha who have a sibling-like bond but have no blood relation to one another.

what this drama does great:
- gives us a multifaceted view of all the main characters. we're able to see life/the timeline of the drama from all 3 of them which i thought was great! getting to know each character felt so personal.
- haejun and juwon's dad had some of the most sob-worthy scenes ever. their relationship was so heartwarming. haejun's healing journey was so great to watch and also to see dal and him help each other through hardships throughout their lives.
- their take on familial troubles wasn't shallow and actually felt very realistic.
- every episode while all having pretty sad moments at times always felt really giddy it's just a really fun watch overall it makes you wish you could be there too
- NO love triangle thank the lords

what could've been done better:
- while sanha's 14 year long or however many year long crush on sanha was well drawn out, we never got that from juwon. it was just her being flustered by sanha's confession(s) and then dating him. i wish they could've either added scenes where maybe in their younger years she thought of him that way too or have done like flashback scenes idk it just. for a childhood friends to lovers trope was not a very deep romantic relationship
- haejun's america storyline was idk all over the place and needed better integration to the plot. also similar to my issue w juwon he should've had a gradual liking to dal while im happy they got together at the end he literally said in that ep that they aren't good together and then later asked her out

overall lovedddd this show chaeyeon is such an amazing actress

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Remake, but still worth watching

As someone who had already watched Go Ahead and loved it, I was hesitant to watch it's remake because I was afraid that it would ruin my fav cdrama for me.

My primary reason to watch this drama was that I heard Hwang In Youp got the girl in this one (Han Seojun fever ifykyk 😭).

(This is my first time of writing review, so please don't mind if I say something inappropriate. )

I love Go Ahead, it's one my favourite cdramas. And Family By Choice? I love this too.

Initially, I expected it to be the exact copy of Go Ahead. Although, the canon events Aren't changed, yet there were some small changes in this one. I liked the changes, as they were mostly what I found controversial in the original one.

In my country, if you call even a random stranger brother, then he is your brother - there is no scope for romance (I think you can guess the country). So, in Go Ahead, when the main lead got together, and Brother He too said that he liked the girl, it felt weird to me. But in FBC, the brother sister relation of the main leads is not much shown, so it doesn't feel so weird. And the brother wanting to marry the FL is also shown very less, so it all feels comforting and natural.

As for the acting, why I gave 9 and not 10 was because I felt more connected to the characters in Go Ahead. Yeah I said I found somethings weird, but I still felt more drawn to them, especially Brother He (portrayed by Steven Zhang). I'm not saying that Bea Hyunsung didn't do well. He did great too. All the other actors did well too.
The boyfriend's mother? I hated her like I did in GA.
The Brother's mother? I liked her like I did in GA.
The fathers? I loved them both, and shipped them both 🤭 like I did in GA.
The main leads? I loved them both more than I did in GA!

So, in conclusion, I would say that..
Although it's a remake and is very similar to the original one (obviously), yet there are some things which make it worth watching 🫶🏻

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Heartwarming family drama with touches of romance, and a lot of tears

*** SPOILERS ALERT ***

I started to watch the cdrama Go ahead before Family by choice because I wanted to compare the remake with the original story and to be perfectly honest, I dropped it after ep 6 /7 and skipped to later episodes to see how the story will develop and what I saw didn’t convince me enough to continue watching… It’s not because it was bad, but I feel like the pacing was so slow and I simply don’t have the patience to watch 40 episodes of the same series. Furthermore, I had a hard time connecting with the Fl characterization, too childlike in comparison with her “brothers”. Certainly, the cdrama had more time to explore in depth the relationships between all the characters and felt more “raw” in its characters and emotions whereas the kdrama felt like it was a prettier and “polished” version of the story. (Please don’t attack me because I like the remake better, it is my opinion, and I still respect the original story and those who love it.)

So, here’s a quick review of what I liked/disliked in this remake:

Pros:
- The acting is phenomenal! Especially the main trio, they were absolutely perfect! Big kudos to the Fl’s actress, I’m not very familiar with her but she was convincing and her acting kinda reminded me of the actress in Lovely runner, who I like very much. Her character was overall very loveable and caring, a little childish sometimes but it wasn't too extreme. Of course HIY was a safe bet, I adored him in True beauty and his acting here is so touching, especially when his character showed despair in difficult moments. Then we have Kang Hae Jun’s actor who was a total revelation for me! His duality convinced me entirely and I will keep an eye on his future projects for sure.
- Great chemistry between all the cast, be it platonic or romantic relationship, it all felt very natural and mature.
- Speaking of romance, I actually really liked the romance between the main couple, I knew it was gonna happen since I read some spoilers in the Go ahead MDL page. Personally, I don’t think their relationship was weird, because I considered them more as very close childhood friends than the brother/sister type of thing. Also! The Fl wasn’t just a wooden plank when it came to intimate scenes and it was very refreshing to see. The second couple, Hea Jun / Dal, truly developed their relationship in the very end of the series, so we didn’t get to see much of them together but they were still cute nevertheless!
- The friendship between Ju Won and Dal was so cute!! I was afraid of a possible love triangle between Ju Won / Dal / San Ha but fortunately they chose to keep it simple and that was a very smart decision coming from the writing team.
- The OST and cinematography are also great, and I also really liked the fact that we could hear them speak a dialect different from what we are used to hear in kdramas.
- Of course, the other star of the show, Ju won’s dad! Such a generous and selfless individual! I’m sure such a person can exist in real life and I wish them the very best.
- Great balance of humorous and sad scenes. The sad scenes were STRONG that’s for sure but the humor was there to lighten up the mood without being forced or out of place.

Cons:
- Some scenes/events were a little repetitive in the end, especially with Hae Jun’s storyline, but I’m still glad they didn’t add 36 subplots to the main story.
- For the romantic relationship between Ju Won and San Ha, I agree with some comments that Ju Won accepted San Ha’s feelings a little too quickly, we saw that he had a crush on her since high school but for her it wasn’t shown at all. They should have added some little scenes in which she questioned her feelings for him way before his sudden confession. Of course, they had to concentrate all the story and character development in only 16 episodes so the pacing was understandably very fast, but I still liked it very much because their chemistry was still great in my opinion.
- I didn’t understand the final development between San Ha and his mom… She threatened Ju Won and asked her to put an end to their relationship (fortunately she didn’t listen but still) and we saw San Ha begging her to…. what? Love him finally? After all she put him through? And then she flew to the UK with his sister, leaving him alone (at last!!) on a whim? The last episode was a little disappointing in this aspect, and I sincerely hoped she would seek psychological help in the end to become less of a burden to her son and make amends… But alas it didn’t happen. I guess they wanted to show that some people don’t want to heal themselves and prefer to continue their toxic relationship with their family. IDK but the pacing here was way too fast for my taste.
- Finally, the 10 years or so of no-contact between the main trio was a little hard to believe, especially for San Ha because he was only in Seoul whereas Hae Jun stayed in the US for a few years so it was a tiny bit more understandable but still… They tried to give explanations later as to why they wouldn’t/couldn’t maintain any contact with Ju Won and her dad but yeah, I understand it was necessary for the story to properly develop but it was still weird.

So that’s all for me! Give it a try because it was still a great and entertaining watch, despite some negative aspects. Especially if you didn’t watch the original series already, or if you like a more fast paced family story with great acting.

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Mothers so toxic, the drama should’ve come with a hazmat warning

I was hesitant to watch this remake of a Chinese Drama that I watched and then dropped shortly after. I remembered I couldn’t stomach the emotional abuse that was going on during the first episodes of the OG, that I thought I wouldn’t have picked up this drama until I saw the teasers, which looked promising. 

Having said that, I went into this drama without a source material so hopefully, I can be more objective and not be spending my time comparing it to the original.  

The first half of the drama started out great. I was impressed by the performance of the child actors and their sweet disposition. Also, I appreciated the subtle gentleness Yun Jeong Jae showed as a father figure, and how the children who became his sons loved him dearly, despite the lack of legal adoption.  

Growing up as a trio, San Ha, Ju Won and Hae Jun’s closeness as pseudo-siblings were endearing, if they only stayed as such. What refrained me from giving this drama a perfect score is the contrived romance between San Ha and Ju Won, and to a lesser extent between Hae Jun and Park Dal. There’s no chemistry to speak of, and I would have been satisfied if they stayed as siblings. This drama is fundamentally about a chosen family and their dynamics, which is why it’s called “Family by Choice,” and not “Lovers by Coincidence”.  

If there was any romance that needs to be explored here, is that between Ju Won’s father and Hae Jun’s mother. Their awkward shyness was fun to watch, especially when San Ha’s father was teasing them. Speaking of which, Dae Uk and Jeong Jae had more bromance chemistry between them than either of the main couple. But this would be too scandalous, so I get it. Despite everything, I was impressed by how these two men, despite their inexperience, raised resilient and kind children in the show. 

While I was very proud of the men’s representation, the same couldn’t be said for the mothers. I almost had a coronary just watching these horrible mothers treat their sons as if they are disposable. I anticipated their dismissal in the latter part of the narrative, yet they reappeared and focused solely on self-gain.

Though wrong, Hae Jun’s mother’s decade-long silence was at least understandable, given her grievances. But San Ho’s mother takes the award for “Mothers Who Shouldn’t be Mothers”. She did not deserve any ounce of sympathy from her son when she accused him of something that clearly was her own fault (and the father’s too). Her gaslighting irked me to no end, and I felt frustrated by Han So’s misplaced sense of loyalty.

The character development in this drama was lackluster, and the closure was also weak. In fact, they doubled down on excusing San Ha’s mother’s actions as justifiable because of a traumatic past. The writers must have somehow forgotten that San Ha suffered too.

Not to say that the acting by the three main cast members were sub-par, but I probably enjoyed the personalities of their child version more; at least they had spunk, tenacity and an unadulterated innocence that would have fit a lot better in a narrative about familial bonds.

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a great ride

this is for the cliche loving gals. but its a good one.
predictable, dramatic, cliche, but someimes that what you want k?
is it amazing??? no. but its goodddd.
its just a kdrama that is a good watch. reminds me of those 2017 kdramas (makes sense considering all).
its not pretending to be something its not- which is great.
its full of heartwarming moments of parenthood and brothership and family.
it also has many horrible parents sprinkled around so just take note i guess.
the cast is just perfect, i think it really does a lot, they really feel like a family and its adorable

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Good Enough

Korean Drama '' Family By Choice '' is a family melodrama with some romance thrown in the mix.

The drama has a solid family drama plot, as it navigates the dynamics of multiple families and their atypical family arrangements. Thus, it is filled with emotional scenes and many twists.

On the other hand, the romance was predictable and full of cheesy scenes. It was also overshadowed by the family drama, fortunately, which had a stronger plot.

In addition, the performances were all great by every actor and actress in the cast.

So, overall, seven out of ten.

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Interesting premise

I am not going to wade into the "which is better, the original Chinese drama or this" controversy. I have never watched the Chinese original (and don't intend to) so I can't comment.

The only thing I want to touch on is the mental and social commentary stemming from this drama. First, I find it interesting that this 'alternative' family arrangement has been highlighted, perhaps as the writer's hope that single-parent families and alternative family arrangements will one day become normalised in Korea. It is often not their fault that such families end up the way they are, and they shouldn't face discrimination because of it. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a happy 'standard' family and as society, we shouldn't comment on what makes another family happy.

Second, what really bugs me is the lack of acknowledgement of mental health. San Ha's mom clearly has narcissistic personality disorder in the way that she manipulates everyone around her and never admits her responsibility for her own situation. Threatening suicide is one such example of manipulation. She needs psychiatric care. This in turn has caused San Ha untold mental anguish as manifested through his constant anxiety and insomnia. Just 'talking it out' won't make either sets of symptoms go away. This is unrealistic and I wished the drama could have handled it better.

Especially in a high pressure society like SK where there is already such a high incidence of suicide and other undiagnosed mental health ailments, this is the best opportunity to normalise help-seeking. As a doctor, Sanha really should have known better than to play to manipulation. There isn't even a need to make a big deal out of it - him putting his mom in a psychiatric ward would have made me feel so much better about her ending rather than letting her run away again!

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