Mujing’s Diary (1)

When I see my parents like this, I suddenly understand something.

You once told me that in this world, no one can remain unchanged forever. A person’s life inevitably goes through ups and downs. No matter how beautiful the scenery may look on the surface, there are always hidden wounds and hardships behind it. Even when everything seems calm, there may still be undercurrents surging beneath.

Sometimes, even breathing feels difficult. Even if you want to escape, you can’t. You can only grit your teeth and carry on. That’s probably what growing up feels like.

I will slowly learn to become stronger. I don’t know how long it will take. I may not be outstanding, but I will try to face everything bravely. Even if I feel confused or afraid, I will gradually adjust myself.

In the past, I was stubborn and willful. I used to avoid things. But now I understand — life does not stop and wait for anyone.

So Unfamiliar

I don’t want to expose my feelings.

I should have returned to China, but when he looked at me with his head slightly lowered, I could never bring myself to leave him and walk my own path.

I hope he can keep his promise. I hope this secret between us can remain hidden.

It’s almost ridiculous to think that someone would entrust their future to another person.

(The future is unpredictable. Everything can only be left to fate.)

( Source (the actress weibo): https://weibo.com/1275238313/5268858274581302)

Mujing's Diary (3)
I got married a few days ago. Everything happened with extreme efficiency. Entering into marriage so hastily comes with subsequent consequences. I have no intention of overthinking it. To be honest, I've already endured the constraints of societal customs, and I thought I was fearless.

I just never expected that night to be so agonizing, agonizing to the point of cruelty. The people around us felt ashamed of the service that day, even a little resentful. It was as if I had been struck by something, leaving my mind blank, unable to respond gracefully.

In truth, who he saw through me didn’t really matter. But what I cared about was being thrown off balance once again. He walked away, giving me a moment to breathe. I refused to let my tears confirm his doubts about me. I allowed myself to let my guard down briefly, letting the immense pressure consume me, only to quickly pull myself together, break free from the predicament, and restore order.

Playing the role of a virtuous wife isn’t difficult.
Since this marriage is a necessity for me, I will calmly navigate it and find the only optimal solution.

(Source (the actress weibo): https://weibo.com/1275238313/5270191046919625)