ToGetHer

South Korea's first ever lesbian dating show.

This is the first dating show I've ever watched, and I've really enjoyed it. Let me start with a brief summary of the show before describing what I liked, and what I didn't.

* Show Summary
The show starts with seven women, all lesbian, bisexual or pansexual, arriving one at a time at the location where they will be living together for a week. There is plenty of awkwardness at the start, as each person arrives to greet those who arrived earlier. The more extroverted personalities stand out while the more introverted people mostly sit back to observe. Room mates are assigned, eyes wander and people start to get to know each other. Each woman is then given the opportunity to write an anonymous note to whoever first caught their eye. The one who receives the most notes gets to go on a date with the person of their choice.
The following day, our "catfish" contestant arrives to even out the numbers at eight. She immediately chooses an existing contestant for a date, while the remaining six women remain behind. Over the rest of the week, various activities and games are played, conversations happen, advice is sought and given, gossip is shared, misunderstandings occur, meals are cooked, tears are shed and life is lived. Towards the end of the week, more one on one dates happen giving contestants the opportunity to spend time together.

* Show Quality & Other Observations.
I found the quality of the show to be quite high. It was professionally filmed with good quality sound (including the outdoor scenes), and was quite well edited. The location was suitable, although I would have preferred it was filmed in summer rather than winter.
One thing that caught my eye from the very start was just how good looking all the contestants are. (A skin care company is also a sponsor of the show). Also, there was zero skinship shown on camera, with a focus on contestants interacting and bonding on an emotional level. Consequently, there are numerous scenes of extensive dialogue between contestants.

* The Controversies
Unfortunately, some controversies have diminished this show, which is quite disappointing. I will only mention here the two known issues that affected the show, and not any of the other rumours and accusations that were made.
1.) Before episode 3 was publicly released, the showmakers became aware that one of the contestants had previously worked as a Cam Girl. Consequently they decided to "remove" that contestant from the show. Because filming had already been completed, they chose to edit this contestant out of many (but not all) scenes she was in.
[UPDATE: A new "extended version" of this series has now been released which does not remove the contestant.]
2.) One of the contestents is only 19 years old, much younger than the other contestants, most of whom are in their early 30s.

* What I Liked
I loved seeing same-sex attracted women represented in a "normal" and genuine way, especially in a country that is still largely homophobic. Although imperfect (as we all are), all contestants seemed to be kind and sincere people who were choosing to participate in the hope of finding love. We got a glimpse of their weaknesses, strengths, hopes, fears and humanity.
I generally liked the structure of the show, although there were some things that I would have preferred were done differently.
I liked that they didn't have a panel of commentators interjecting their thoughts into the show, taking time away from the contestants.

* What I Didn't Like
In my opinion, semi-erasing one contestant from the show was a silly decision and an over-reaction by the showmakers, and it resulted in a poorer show than what it could have been. It sometimes resulted in important interactions with other contestants being deleted, leaving viewers confused about why something was now happening. [UPDATE: The "extended version" corrects this.]
I thought it was unfair to accept the teenage contestant when the rest of the contestants were (in some cases) old enough to be her mother. I have no problem with age gap romance, and if she did end up with one of the other contestants, I would have been very happy for her. However, I think they should at the very least, have told her the ages of the other contestants so she could have made an informed choice about whether or not to participate.
I thought the instructions that went with the "love notes" were sometimes ambiguous, and because these notes were anonymous, it sometimes resulted in confusion and misunderstanding.
None of my 'shipped couples ended up together, but that is hardly the fault of the show.
We didn't get to see all contestants do their final confession on the last day. It is unclear if those contestants chose to not participate in this, or it was just edited out.

I really hope there are more seasons of this show in the future, and other companies also begin to produce GL dating shows.

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Queer Women Exist, Too

For Korea's first Queer reality dating show exclusively for women, I thought this was a thoughtful endeavor and a great step forward pushing real life representation. Compared to His Man, chance, competition, and missions played less of a part in determining dates. I felt this created a more mellow atmosphere for all the participants, with heartfelt notes, small interactions, and group meals/events making feelings develop more naturally and thoughtfully over time.

All this praise being said, I did find the finale lacking. I felt we didn't get to hear enough from everyone, and wish the time was spread more equally between all of them to get their final thoughts/feelings.

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Jolly Good Show

Firstly, I'm glad I watched it to the end, and I would recommend it to anyone still hesitant! My first ever dating show watch, and hopefully not the last. Please make more GL-dating content.

Now to give some criticisms;
There were many moments that almost made me drop this show out of frustration for all the misunderstandings/miscommunication that seemingly came from nowhere. But alas, I just had to step back and realise the cast members practically had no information and were going in blind for almost 80% of the show.

The love-note system remained ambiguous for too long, imo. If even couples who already confessed they like each other and write to each other can still misunderstand each other, then what's to say about receiving a note from someone you barely even know. Even when everyone got a chance to reveal 1 hidden note's sender, their reactions just boiled down to "Oh, it was her. Okay." because the feelings and emotions had already past, and each person had already vastly changed their minds by then. I thought the point of dating shows was to make time for everyone to get to know each other before even deciding who to even Start pursuing, yet by the time the one-on-one dates happened, everyone had already made their final decision simply because they ran out of time and didn't know the other candidates well enough. If only somewhere in the middle, everyone was told to confess who they're interested in openly, followed by some competition (if many chose the same person) or a mini-date with that person, more people would have known if their choice was correct early on, and would still have time to change their mind if the date didn't go well. I'm sad because Heeyeong seriously believed no one liked her right until the end, despite being the most beautiful and enchanting amongst them. And after Dagyo confirmed she was interested in her a bit at the start, all Heeyeong could do in that situation was latch onto a fleeting love interest.

Perhaps the show is aiming for more realistic portrayals of love (silent feelings/unrequited love/overthinking/misunderstandings, etc), but it could still benefit from adding more variety-show-like competitions and more open discussions on their interests and who they'd like to pursue. That way, even if Dagyo ended with several people wanting to get to know her (for curiosity’s sake), she should be allowed 1:1 dates with each person freely before deciding who to start pursuing seriously (for love's sake). The other candidates, if they don't get chosen by her, would be notified immediately and then be allowed to re-apply for dates with the other members, starting again from curiosity/compatibility before even pursuing love.

The ending also felt a little rushed and messy, but at least all the people I was rooting for seemed to have gotten something positive from this experience. I truly wish them all happiness and hope they find their true love.


Side note: I was not aware of any controversies while watching, so to see one member completely disappear from the show was pretty jarring. She's the first person we met and the one I was most curious about. Truly a shame, I wish they kept Riwon's scenes in as is, but be allowed to issue a notice on SNS somewhere stating they were unaware of her situation and hope the viewers will watch the show with an open mind. Separate the art from the artist.

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Ugh

I wanted to love this so bad. An all women dating show? Fuck yeah, sign me up! I was kicking my feet and cheering through the first two episodes, and then- then all the fucking behind the scenes drama started coming out. We could not get through one episode without something new coming out, to the point where they fully cut one of the contestants (Riwon) out. It seemed to have been a complete mess from the production team. If you have such strict opinions as to who you feature on the show, then vet them properly before starting production. Other reality tv shows make it so that contestants can’t comment on the show until it finishes airing, why in the world did they not put that in the contracts? Everything became about the behind the scenes drama which was handled so poorly that it was almost laughable.

I hope we get more queer/lesbian dating shows in the future, and hopefully they will be made by more competent people.

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Just a big fat mess

The show was going so great with the first two episodes, and I instantly picked and liked Jiwon and Seoyeon. However at ep 3 I noticed that Jiwons screen time was non existent there and I was a bit confused but continued watching just deciding to brush things of it was (i think) in the later part of ep 3, that I realised they were doig it intentionally and I was so lost and I decided to do some research as to maybe there were issues with her contract or something and I got to know about the controvercy regarding her past life.
Jiwon
Jiwonie's past: So when I did research, I heard different things, so take with a grain of salt- apparently she was either a cam girl(BJ) or she went out with guys for a price. For further clarification, she was not a prostitute; she did not sell her body in either scenario, as cam girls just post videos or live with exposive outfits(sometimes) and going out with guys doesn't mean she sleeps with them. These things occurred in the past, and she has stopped doing that kind of work for years now. She has clarified this through an IG story, and she also apologised to the cast and crew.
My Opinion on this: whatever she did in her past to survive or just for work is her business, and I don't think it is a big deal, and she shouldn't be demonised for it. I also think people are being unfair in the sense that numerous gay shows for men showed strippers(not the correct word) in the boyfriend and other work related to that kind of industry, but when it comes to a woman, she is suddenly ostracised for this. I also think that as a lesbian, it doesn't matter, as she said it was in her past, and she does something else for work now.
Jiwon's ex: this one is irrelevant, but she does a ton of hate for. She had an ex-boyfriend before the show aired, and he was an obsessive person, and when people found out about him, they started saying that she was straight and pretending to be gay. First off, bi-people exist, and you can get over your bi-phobia.
Hangeul
Hangeuls hand in it all: Hangeul is one of the participants of the show and it was disclose midway into the show that she is 20 years old(in korean age system 18/19 at the time of filming) while the other contestannts are in their early 30s with the only other contestant in their 20s being Dagyo who is 26. she kept saying she didnt want to be treated like a kid and I frankly understood that but after on it was proven that she very much acted like an immature brat that has no mental or emotial intellegence. This could have all been avoided if the casting team but up a higher age limit to prevent such behaviour and a problematic cast. While I understand that this was all in Jiwon's past, most of the issues did stem that she didn't fully disclose everthing with the team, which she is wrong for, it howver shows that the casting team did not do their jobs correctly for this kind of thing to pop up at the very beginning of the show. A lot of people also found the age gap very weird, as the oldest participant is 35, and that the team should have at least made Hangeul aware of the team of the other participants, or raised the limit to 25+.
What she did- there are text conversations where she called Jiwon a prostitute and a criminal. She was said to have organised a group meeting with the participants to shit-talk Jiwon. She also made false claims, which have been clarified and disproved by Jiwon, that Jiwon made inappropriate comments. Her interfering with Jina and Heeseong's problems without knowing the full story. She also admitted during filming that the only reason she came on the show was to promote her music.
On the inappropriate comments, she stated that Jiwon asked her to go to Thailand for a sexual/explicit Trip. Jiwon has clarified this that she was eating Thai food with a participant and asked that if they left together if they would go to Thailand wit her as a couple with is normal to ask someone you are dating, Jiwon also clarified that she asked other participants as they were all potential people she could end up with.
Jiwon has been very depressed and posted things on her story that preluded her own death and self-harm thoughts, etc. Jina also posted a story, which she quickly deleted, saying to support victims.

Minwoo- I actually liked her, I feel like she did what the show called her to do, shook people up and went on a lot of dates; however, she didn't give anyone any closure and always seemed like she was jumping from one person to another until she landed on Dagyo.

Jina and Heeseong- Call me a hater, but all their problems could have been resolved by just properly communicating. Jina says that she has trauma with talking, and most times wants to run away, and Heeseong, too, doesn't reach out until she has reached a breaking point(Side note: Minwoo interfering in that convo was devious, and I will never forgive her for that. Hangeouls' interference made no sense as she wasn't even interested in Jina but was trying to poke her nose where she was not needed.

Staff and Production
The Staff- though this has not been clarified yet, a staff member posted on SNS, "exposing the cast and said the Jina was threatening to drop out of the show multiple times. We are not sure how true this statement is, but as Jina after the breakup with Heeseong, she did try to run away, which is extremely valid, but if she wanted to drop out of the show, she should have gone ahead with it and not threatened the production with it(if those statment by the "staff" are true).
On the production- I feel like at a point there were not a lot of dates, which could have been improved by organising more competitions to get a date, as most participants revolved around Dagyo.
The decision to remove Jiwon's scenes was really bad, and I know a lot of people dropped because of that, as it not only reduced the scenes of the dates, but it also left viewers confused as to who got whose letter. Erasing Jiwon also removed her worth, like imagine wasting a week of your life on nothing.
Absence of Mascs- 90 percent of the cast being fems ruined it for a ton of people as what people want to see if reprentation. Having only 1 mascot in the entire show is crazy, considering that there is not a masc shortage in Korea.

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It's good to watch

I'm someone who is open to all kind of genres, I'm not into women but I want to be someone who understands how love can have different definitions for each human! Well to be honest I love such reality shows its fun to see them interact irl . Well for now I have read alot of reviews regarding it on social media, the international fans are loving it ..the only problem is that app used for the streaming is not really available at all the places (I hope u can help with that) ...Also to every cast up on the show , it takes guts to be there in a society that is not so open minded! Have fun!

~ with love
from someone who just enjoy living

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