You Maniac Episode 9

Taking a Step Outside His Own World

What moved me most in this episode was Moss deciding for himself that he wanted to be beside Dean.For Moss, painting is as natural as breathing. Dean has struggled with feeling less important than his work, but he is beginning to respect that part of him. Now, faced with Dean’s grief, Moss takes a step into Dean’s world too.When Dean declines his offer to attend the funeral, Moss is unsure what to do. He asks Pan for advice, as he often does, but Pan leaves the decision to him. His own answer is simple: he wants to be there.Dean’s difficult relationship with his father makes the loss full of regret and unfinished feelings. Moss cannot resolve any of that, but his willingness to come matters.After the happiness of their morning together, the sudden news was painful. Yet what stayed with me was Moss reaching beyond his familiar boundaries and choosing to show up for someone he loves.

Read More

The Ultimate Glow-Up: Choosing Ambition Over Ambiguity

Masterful Subtlety - What makes Est Supha’s performance so compelling is his exceptional command over micro-expressions. He anchors the heavy angst of You Maniac with absolute sincerity and makes you feel every ounce of Moth’s emotions. Great Job!In every relationship, Moth is the one left stranded in the corner while his partners (i.e., Mes, his first love interest, now Dean) dictate the terms of the relationship, breaking things off whenever their lives get complicated.
Mes- Moth was deeply hurt by Mes, leaving him emotionally guarded and forced to pick up the pieces of his own broken heart.Dean- Just when Moth finally lets his guard down, Dean cruelly pushes him away at the funeral, forcing Moth to once again cry in isolation.After being repeatedly abandoned and left to weep in isolation by both Mes and Dean, In the Ep 10 Preview, I am happy for Moth's potential decision to study in New York (if it turns out to be true) even if we don’t get to have our happy ending. It would be a triumphant turning point for his character narrative, Moth should center his life around his own career and future, rather than anchoring his worth and happiness in his partners who offer nothing but emotional instability or who might push him away the next time a crisis hits. For once, Moth shouldn't be easily swayed anymore; he deserves a partner who chooses him clearly, consistently, and without condition.

Read More

another ep behind "us" & personally,…

another ep behind "us" & personally, i am counting this down for the end (that thankfully is gonna be next week). been reading some comments (quite a lot of them) say, this was boring or a filler - sorry but hasn't that been the case from the start?!? only i think so??? think this whole BL is nothing but fluff & nonsense, there might've been a few scenes that made it a fun watch, but on a whole this whole BL is kinda meeh... & sometimes we r looking for a little bit of "meeh" to fill the time. it's cute but nothing to write home about. *****************************************************************************************************************this ep also had it's moments & i liked the acting on Dean's part - very realistic, how he dealt with grief towards a parent he butted heads with till the bitter end. or his pulling away from Moth - even Moth's behavior & Pun not taking his side, but conveying some much needed truth's, were worth the watch. & the fact Ten couldn't make it - that's life, doesn't mean he doesn't care. also like the growth on Pun's part when dealing with Moth & how he has happily embraced Ted & giving it his all. i find them adorable & am glad at least Ten is getting his happily ever after. *********************************************************side note: maybe just me, but i am kinda sad that there were so many side character's but they were underused, which is a shame, as they might have livened this up this BL a bit, if the focus wasn't just on the mains - heck even the 2nd couple didn't get that much screen time, most of their relationship happened when we weren't looking - or so it seems. personally i think the main plot was handled badly & if in the last ep, we get an explanation as to why Moth is the way he is (like we got about Dean in this ep) i personally think, it would be to little too late.

Read More

Emotional roller coaster

Well what would I write this episode feels like an emotional rollercoater. Starting with their sweet romance and dean’s dad death news. moth trying to console Dean but doesn’t know. Dean processing his grief. Pun advising Moth to visit Dean. They having sweet moment. Suddenly a character from the past visits which brings back all the hurt insecurities Dean had. Him telling Moth about his dad cheating and how it affected his view on love in their family. While moth trying console Dean, Dean breaking up with moth saying it’s even a real relationship how both used eachother. Moth getting his heartbroken again. And realising his love for Dean. Even been hurt but showing up to support Dean. Dean realising moth is his safe space. OMG WHAT A EPISODE

Read More

SOBBING FOR MY LIFE

Omg I had to come immediately!!!! First of all i see myself in you DeanMoth 😭😭😭 Deans anger towards his dad's cheating....idk how much he must have been holding back till now. Him not feeling anything for the death to finally sobbinggggg. Such parents are soo cruel.The moment saying ppl make mistakes is soooooooo real life. The amount of boomer gen women i hv heard say that. Maybe it's like they just want to save the marriage🥲 Honestly it's soo cruel as a kid...u love ur dad but not the man he is. How r u supposed to feel. Do i love him or not🥲The breakup😭😭😭😭 Finally talking about somethings they kept ignoring. Letting go cause hes afraid of doing the same to Moth.Moth just going crazy trying to understand. Williams ost...🔥The hug....💔 The way they cried and the way we cried😭LOVED THE EPISODE 🙇🏻‍♀️

Read More

this series is amazing.

SPOILERS.

ok, i think it's about time i write my review for episode nine because i cried so much this episode to the point i had a headache. when i say i resonated and really, truly understood where dean was coming from alongside his feelings towards his father, i really mean it; that hit so close to home for me, i wasn't expecting it. for starters, the episode begun in such a beautifully domestic way, we saw dean cooking porridge for him and moth as well as flirting with him and being so sweet together which was everything but then obviously, it all got very upsetting the moment the news hit them.

i cannot begin to say how much i relate to dean, the entirety of the episode we've seen him holding everything back and inside, pushing everything so far down so much so that it cannot stay afloat nor resurface. he tried to act happy, he tried to smile and brush things off, he tried to keep it all together and just be there as he is but deep inside, everything was clearly eating at him.

from the very beginning of this series, we've all wondered what exactly made dean act in such a way, somebody who craves constant attention yet detaches themselves from commitment, responsibility and actual feelings. it's insecurities and fear, the fear that the actions of somebody so close to us would then be repeated through us. dean, all this time, has been afraid to make the same horrible decisions and actions as his father, he was afraid to lie and live in a lie which to him is what the dynamic of his family felt.

i can relate to that so much, my experience is obviously not entirely the same down to the detail or whatever but the dynamic in my family is quite broken, i can't even remember the last time i spoke to my dad and i don't even have his number nor a way to get in contact with him whatsoever, i despise my mum's boyfriend but i try and try to act like everything is fine and i don't fucking hate everything, i want my mom to find someone better than him and so on. her choice was made by her to make herself feel happy again and feel loved again which she didn't get from my dad but in my eyes and for what i've experienced from then on, i've grown to harbor such deep-rooted hatred for him and i'll never forgive him for his insults towards my mom, me or my sister yet here he is, prancing and preening in the house every day and yet here i am, joking around with him and talking to him so that he doesn't have a reason to argue with my mom; and that's where i ask myself, is this truly, really the relationship my mom wanted after leaving my dad?

my feelings have soured, i don't know how to feel about anyone in this dynamic, my dad, her or him. i love my mom, but i wish she'd found someone better for herself, not my dad, not him, just someone who would truly deserve her. and that's where i resonate with dean so much because the way he found out about his father's affair wasn't far from how i found ouf my mom was dating her boyfriend, curiosity kills the cat they say right? or breaks it.

his whole family tells him that everyone has moved on, his mother tells him his father chose her still and she's forgiven him, his sister tells him he doesn't have to but he shouldn't allow that to stop him from letting somebody who truly deserves to love, not love him. dean understands that but there's just something that will always stick with you, where you'll feel hatred yet complex feelings towards that person as well as feeling nervous that you'd repeat their mistakes hence why dean would become the dean we saw in the earlier episodes. somebody who craves attention and acts tough yet, is somebody weak within who needs a lot of love and care.

their 'break up' really hit very hard because although they hadn't made anything official, dean voiced his fear of everything about their relationship having been a lie and it, better end. although, the lie ended before it even truly got to seed itself within their relationship. they were both truly hurt in that moment, moth didn't want to push dean and dean didn't want to push moth - they just accepted it.

the final scene where dean comes down the steps and sees moth, finally breaking down in tears and seeking his embrace was both a relief and also heartwrenching. a relief as he finally let everything out, he's finally letting himself be held, embraced and loved but heartwrenching because he's had to keep everything bottled up, he's had to hide his feelings for the comfort of his family, he had to put up an act like everything was okay when it truly wasn't and although an affair ended, the reprecussions it leaves behind and the scars never leave, they just scab, fall off and they fade.

i'll keep reiterating that the reason i love this series, the reason i love you maniac so much and why i always get so defensive about it and frustrated (though it doesn't do much, everybody is entitled to their own viewpoint of it) is because the story is just so human. there's always layers and layers of complexity within us, there's years of suffering, acts and change yet, there's always space to grow and learn, space to understand one another and to accept each other for what we are and not for what we are made to be. nobody's perfect, there's no such thing as perfect and there's no perfect story either, sometimes it's just an experience.

i don't want to say much more because i'll probably just repeat myself one way or another but i do hope at some point in time, people learn to appreciate the story more and not try to compare it with other stories that cover different genres. each story is unique to what it is and each story tells a tale of it's own, it doesn't make one better than the other, it just makes it so that it's more personal to one person than the other.

"this is the saddest face i can make."

Read More