Why Do We Really Hate Lady Yulou?

 Playset9656:

True, still she's not just power-hungry for the sake of it—she’s driven by deep-rooted pain from being used and abandoned as a child. Becoming the most powerful woman, like the Empress, is her way of ensuring that no one can ever hurt or manipulate her again. Her rampage is a reflection of how desperately she needs control and security. 🫠

What do you mean? How had she been used as a child? Makes not much sense to me. Girls were pawned out to other families to be raised alongside their own (the stranger family's) kids. That was normal. 

Control is important to manipulators. And she seems to have been a schemer from childhood on. 

Unlike others I don't think that she would have been happy with Bogong. He was "too good" of a man for her to long term happily be his wife quietly. What Manman manages she could never have done. (Quietly work behind the scenes)

 playful_site_2714:

What do you mean? How had she been used as a child?

In  Episode 28 ( around 26:45 ), Lady Yulou has flashbacks to her early childhood, and it's clear that she was raised under a lot of emotional pressure. Her family’s words show how much they placed the burden of the Su Clan’s future on her shoulders, even as a child. For example, they said things like:

• "A daughter, again? How could she bear the future of the Su Clan from Wushan?"

• "Your peony mark almost washed off in the rain."

• "Be careful. Without your peony mark, you're nothing."

• "Once in the Wei family, you must get along with both young masters. The future of the Su Clan depends on you."

• "Stay indoors and avoid bringing trouble to the Su Clan."

These lines illustrate how Lady Yulou was raised with immense expectations and control from a very young age, and it clearly set the stage for her later need for control and security. She wasn’t just manipulating others—she was manipulated and used herself, which I think is what drives her to seek power in the first place. Becoming the most powerful woman in the kingdom, much like the Empress, isn’t just about power—it’s about survival. She needs that control because her entire life was defined by people using her as a pawn for their own ambitions.

Her need for control over her life, and to not be controlled by anyone, is a reflection of the deep-rooted trauma and abandonment she experienced growing up. It’s her way of ensuring that no one can ever hurt or manipulate her again. 🫠

Wei Bogong could probably have healed and grounded her, much like Manman does with Wei Shao. He seemed like the kind of person who could have provided the support and stability she needed to not turn down the destructive path she eventually took. Unfortunately, he died before that could happen.