
Unique_rain:
This is something completely unrelated to BL but I needed advice as this is making me confused
You need to know that I'm transgender FTM but also gender fluid ( for those of you who don't know what it means, it means sometimes I feel masculine, sometimes feminine, sometimes non binary ) and a male that we will call J.
J asked me to start a relationship with them. I thought he was pansexual but he says he's not. His reasoning is that he thought I was a girl ( don't worry that was cleared up) which I'm not. He is still willing to have a relationship with me but is adamant that he is straight when he is dating me. I'm not sure how to resolve this
When I was in my 20s I made a lot of compromises to be in relationships with people who didn’t completely accept me. It can wear you down to know someone doesn’t like or accept part of who you are. But I don’t regret the love I felt or the things I learned then.
I am now married to a trans masc/nonbinary/gender fluid person. She/they said when they met me that they knew they wouldn’t have been made the way they are if someone wouldn’t love them for it. When I fell for them I stopped calling myself bisexual and started calling myself pansexual. I know they feel better about themselves knowing I accept them as they are. (You will notice I still usually call them my wife. They have said that is fine for now.) self-acceptance is still a process for them, though.
In the end, you have to make your own choices and face what that brings, good or bad. We all take time to learn and grow. But I wouldn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t accept something so fundamental about me.
FYI: don’t know if you’ve watched heartstopper but there is a nonbinary character (assigned female at birth) who gets really close to a straight boy. He wants to have a relationship but cannot handle the idea that it means he is queer in some way. The nonbinary person says no to him for this reason. I think this was in season three but I’m not sure. Someone probably made clips of it on YouTube. I thought it was done really well in the show.