TitilolaAndrew-Essien

From my experience watching dating shows. The couples that create a lot of drama 98% of the time often end up together. And the person they kept on the side always suffers.

I don’t know why people do this, even amongst my friends, I tell them alot. You don’t need a back up boyfriend/girlfriend. If you don’t like someone enough, quickly let them know. It is okay to be single if you don’t get the guy/girl you like.

Instead they keep them around and wait for the person they like to reciprocate how they feel. Once they do that, then they tell the person that was always there “sorry I never liked you like that” it is not fair.

Doing this you always end up hurting people.

Let’s clear up one thing: Xilun always being around Yue Er doesn’t automatically make him wrong. He is not to blame, Yue Er is. If Yue Er knows who she likes but is too afraid to show it, she cannot expect the guy to read her micro-expressions and then blame him for not competing.

Being more aggressive in pursuing someone doesn’t mean you care more. People express love differently. Some are bold, while others are careful and need reciprocation. Look at XingXing and Bohan: XingXing was braver in going after what she wanted, but that doesn’t mean Bohan liked her less. Men are people too. Being more aggressive is not a measurement of “importance”. Wanting a guy to come after you also means you also need to pay attention to him as well, and encourage him to come. And not just wait.

Xilun constantly being around Yue Er can naturally discourage someone like Hewen, who has received no clear indication that Yue Er is interested. Not everyone enjoys competing for someone’s attention or dealing with uncertainty, just like BK, some people will simply see the situation and move on.

At least we both agree on one thing: Hewen and Yue Er are not the perfect match. Yue Er likes being pursued, so Xilun suits her better. Hewen seems to value reciprocation, so Xiaoyu may be a better fit for him.

Oh did you watch the episode where Xilun was literally hovering around and wouldn’t even give space for anyone to enter, so you think everybody likes that kind of energy.

It is one thing to compete for love when the person in question is giving you good feedback, how do you compete when you are getting nothing back in return? You know she likes Hewen because the camera shows us her every expressions and behaviors otherwise from the way she hangs around Xilun it is easy to assume she prefers him.

Okay let us assume she wants him to compete, at least create room for the other guy to compete fairly…give Xilun space so someone else can approach you. If he says let’s go watch the dishes, she could politely decline so someone else can have the opportunity to talk to her. This must be a new generation behavior because in my time we don’t go after guys but we do things to encourage them to come to us…staying away from guys that will cause a misunderstanding is one of those things.

Just like BK in Love Actually, when he saw he wasn’t getting any feedback he moved on. And the shocking thing was Liu Liu spoke to him crying just like Yue Er because she liked him, he was so shocked by that because at no point did she make her intentions/feelings known. I wish more men are like him.

Classic Princess behavior she has. I was so shocked when she said “you would have given it to Kaiyi” Aunty Yue Er what about you? Why dint you give your card to bohan.

I hope after this show she’s able to reflect on herself and change, after all nobody is perfect.

I really hope and pray they don’t end up together but we all know they will

lol

That’s the point i also arrived at. They are not right for each other. They might be different but they share something similar which is they need strong reassurance from the person they like.

If they are wise they will stick to XiLun and Xiaoyu because they match their personalities better…but unfortunately I think we both know how it’s going to end.

Thank you for this.

“Compete” that’s interesting. With that mind set I wish her the best.

I just remember watching Bohan and XingXing on how she gave him that confidence to pursue her…we can all see why those 4 couples are stable. The girls and the boys both validate each others feelings.

Glad you said Kaiyi approached Bohan, and once she did that she was able to move on. Yue Er just keeps waiting because she believes it is a man’s job to go after her. What stops her the next day after Hewen says he wants only her to cut off Xilun from hanging around her a lot? So there is no misunderstanding. Let’s assume Hewen is the one to pursue, at least create an environment that makes it easier for him to come to you. That’s what we girls used to do back in the days.

Perfect example in Love Actually Season 5, Wentao went on a date with the new girl and when he got back the whole house was jokingly shipping them, he told the interviewer he was going to reduce contact with her so that there is no misunderstanding with the girl he likes and he actually did that. If the new girl says let’s do this, he will politely decline.

The reason those 4 couples are successful in this season is because both the girls and the boys actively and I mean ACTIVELY seek out each other.

Completely agree with you

Oh i thought i was the only one that dint like that episode, like he just kept standing there…that was so frustrating to watch.

He is always there…

Let’s look at this objectively,after expressing his feelings to the girl that he likes her…and every time he wants to approach her there is another man there. Like everytime. From his POV he sees the girl he likes connecting very well with someone else, that discourages him from moving forward because he hasn’t gotten any feedback that she also wants him…

Today’s episode was just a perfect example of what I am talking about. Yue Er saw Hewen and stood waiting, Xilun saw the situation but instead of leaving he continued to stand there…like that was so frustrating to watch. He is always around her and I cannot even blame him because he is fighting for what he wants. It is actually tough for someone else to enter with that kind of energy. Let’s be honest. And remember men are people too…they get hurt, discouraged and scared. Because he is a man doesn’t mean he is a robot. Xilun is also a man and a very aggressive pursuer, everybody cannot be like him. Even the couples that are steady now, put the men in a similar situation and you will see that some might also react thesame, some might completely pull away like what BK did in Love Actually. Some people just want a smooth simple life

My question is has she focused on only him? Watch the other girls in the house and how they actively seek out the guys they like.

Love is not only a man’s job. They are both at fault here.

She cried, but people that are close to Hewen also noticed his mood changed even before the invitation day …because he isn’t crying doesn’t mean he isn’t affected.

In my opinion they are both alike, they both want to be prioritized. The only way for their current status to improve is if they both drop their fear of getting hurt and actively seek out each other instead of waiting for one person to do something before they react.

In my opinion they are not a good match. They both need high validation and security from their partners. Xilun is better for Yue Er’s personality and Xioayu is better for Hewen’s personality but knowing dating shows…and my experience with watching a lot. Yue Er and Hewen might end up together

Agree

Saying I want to actively pursue you doesn’t mean you don’t have a role to play as well. My problem is she keeps waiting for him to do something. Watch the other girls, they are very active with who they like. What effort is she actually making let’s be honest. I do not hate her, i personally feel she is used to being chased and doesn’t know how to be proactive with the guy she likes.

Thank you for this

lol. You are watching from the comfort of your home that’s why you can see every micro expression Yue Er makes and that she crys alone in your room. And that’s the same reason you know she doesn’t like Xilun because the camera shows that to you. Why are the other couples also not depending on micro expressions to show the guys they like them? You see both boys and girls literally making effort to be with each other that is why they are going steady. Why are they not waiting for the men to watch their expressions and react? Since they are not “dense”

The only reason I even paid attention to Hewen (because my fav are Kaiyi and Yiheng) was the constant bashing he was getting online throughout last week. I don’t know what side of the internet you are on, because you are making it seem like people are only attacking her and the guy is being loved…pls go back to the internet and check again.

She should stop crying and ask Kaiyi and Mengmeng on how to be brave in love…yearning and micro expressions are not enough.

I am praying for once that the universe will make sure they don’t end up together but from my experience watching dating shows, Hewen and Yue Er will end up together.

Yue Er should date Xilun since she likes a guy to constantly chase her irrespective of whether she likes him or not

You are not being too harsh. I was so upset. Yue Er is used to being chased that’s why she feels it is her right for men to come after her.

She has done absolutely nothing to assure Hewen that she favors him. After that car ride misunderstanding, Hewen quickly tossed a coin to assure her he likes her. What has she done to assure him? Anytime he wants to talk to her XiLun is right there, both of them laughing and talking

I genuinely feel like they are both scared of being hurt, that’s why even if they like each other, they keep waiting for assurance. At least Hewen went over and beyond after his interaction with Xiaoyu to show Yue Er he wanted her by tossing the coin. But Yue Er on the other hand hasn’t done anything to show Hewen she prefers him, Xilun is always beside her…Hewen has to literally fight to have a simple conversation with her because Xilun is always there.

That is not easy for anyone to handle. If for a second she does something to show Hewen she wants him, his approach will change. Watch the other couples, they all both make effort to communicate but with Yue Er she keeps waiting for Hewen to come to her.