TitilolaAndrew-Essien

I’m happy Yue Er and Xilun ended up together, especially for Xilun. After everything, it’s nice to see him end up with the person he wanted. I always thought they were a good fit, even if Yue Er didn’t see it at first…

What I don’t understand is the extreme hate. It’s a show. You can dislike someone’s actions and criticize them without it being hateful. I still don’t particularly like Yue Er’s approach to things, but that’s not an excuse to turn that into hatred.

I don’t have to like or agree with everyone to still treat them with kindness and respect. I really dislike how people turn disagreement into outright hatred and bullying. You can disagree with someone’s actions or the way they do things without being cruel to them.

This is my opinion, criticizing someone's behaviour is not the same as hating them as a person. People can discuss what they observe on a reality show, point out behavioral patterns , and compare contestants without having any animosity towards them.

You can hold someone accountable while still recognising that they're imperfect.

Of course, some people cross the line and resort to bullying, insults and outright hate. I do not support that at all. Going to their personal pages to antagonize them, attack them, or drag their family members is completely unacceptable and just plain evil.

I think most people switched up after that first argument because they saw that Hewen was, in his own way, trying to adjust to the things she complained about. He started distancing himself from Xiaoyu and even invited her on another star date. Meanwhile, she made absolutely no effort to change her own behaviour and continued hanging around Xilun as though nothing had happened.

What frustrated people was the double standard. She expected Hewen to listen to her advice and make changes if he genuinely wanted to be with her, but she wasn’t willing to take that same advice herself.

That was why people switched.

Two people can be at fault for something, she admonished Hewen but took no responsibility herself. That is the issue.

Hewen recognized he may have ruined his chances by his actions, but Yue Er still felt she doesn’t have a role to play in dating. Even towards the end where she would have confidently said “Xilun, let’s go horseback riding” she was still waiting for someone to make the decision for her.

I think why people had issues with how she handled things wasn’t because she was not sure “who to like” she knew “who she liked from the very beginning” But had unrealistic expectations for him while she did nothing.

And I knew right from the beginning Xilun was best situated for her, but she wasn’t interested in him initially (I still don’t think she likes him deeply, I think she just settled because he treats her the way she wants to be treated). That may or may not grow into deep affection later in their relationship .

Good for them. Doesn’t make bullying okay.

If you had such concerns about another country’s dating show, I would have been worried. But I have been watching Chinese dating shows for years now, from Yes I do, Relationship, Love Actually, Twinkle Love and others to even Heart Signal, most of their interactions are genuine.

Chinese dating shows have the highest rate of successfully relationships and “marriages”. You might find it not realistic but that’s how their shows are. Love Actually has 4 successful couples, the previous season someone got married this year, out of that previous season some are still dating…and so also those other dating shows.

So I get your concerns but there is nothing to worry about. Most times what you see is what you get. After the show, most relationships keep waxing strong. You can research about them or check YouTube.

Naaa that’s too much. This is what I keep saying about how people think it is okay to express themselves while bullying others in the process. You can strongly disagree with her methods of handling things without dragging or attacks or bullying.

Seriously some people need help. What kind of wickedness is that.

I totally understand your comment and you are actually good with words you should give yourself more credit. You are doing wonderful and I don’t mind the long messages

Thank you for this. “ you need to love them at least 75-80 % back for it to work”

Sometimes people forget their role in making a relationship work.

That still doesn’t excuse their behaviour. It’s like saying if I see someone slapping another person for no reason, I shouldn’t say or do anything because “that’s just part of being outside.” Or part of “living on earth”

Ofcourse we can’t tell people how to express themselves, that doesn’t mean we should excuse them for being wrong.

Even if we can’t change the entire world or completely stop online bullying, maybe one or two people will hear the message and stop bullying these people because they came on a reality show. Just because you’re behind a screen doesn’t mean you get a free pass to behave badly. Being online doesn’t excuse bad behaviour.

Oh I completely forgot about that part when she ran while talking to Youling to invite the other guy, that was brutal and indeed selfish. I see your point about LuiLui being the more selfish one.

BK really liked LuiLui at the beginning if she had given him attention there would have been no Ruita.

I also agree with you that whether XiLun was there or not, Yue Er would have behaved thesame because that’s her defense mechanism however selfish it is.

As for Hewen, I agree he puts other people’s feelings above his own. I noticed something at the beginning of the show, when he gets back from work and he sees Yue Er with XiLun, he becomes stressed because he is trying not to offend the other guy. We saw that happen many many times…for someone that doesn’t like inconveniencing people that is a very stressful situation that’s why his confident character/behaviour started dropping. And she dint do anything to help this situation, she felt if you like me you work for it. How about her? What was her contribution? Nudging? Staring? Not good enough . And to me I don’t count examples like him picking blue or red, because by then it was already too late, their relationship was already strained. If they really understood themselves they would have figured out that their personalities does not match.

Kaiyi sent a message at the very beginning expressing her expectations from him, she dint wait for him to show her how to treat her…she told him and he immediately got the message. From the moment Kaiyi realized she liked Yiheng, she never held back. That is my point. She made it easy for Yiheng to come to her(he never stops talking about it), and it’s not just Kaiyi, Xing Xing and all the other successful relationships had this balance.

I am SO, SO, SO glad you brought up LuiLui because I completely agree with you. They’re happy, and I genuinely wish them the best, but I still don’t like their relationship. My opinion doesn’t matter anyway.

I think she’s similar in some ways, but with LuiLui, I see it more as inexperience. With Yue Er, the moment she told Hewen to “compete,” and she wasnt doing anything to encourage him, that was when I knew she wears the crown for being selfish. Example after their first date, the next day Kaiyi brought cake for Yiheng…what stopped her from using her coins to get to know him better…or inviting him to gist with her. It was like May The Best Man Win.

And honestly, that’s why I have so much respect for BK. He saw the uncertainty and chose to walk away for his own peace of mind. I really wish Hewen had been smart enough to do the same, but unfortunately, he didn’t.

I have a question for you, do you think if Xilun wasn’t in the picture she would have behaved exactly thesame on the show? Or will Hewen and Yue Er’s interaction be different?

Ofcourse I know you were not talking about me specifically, you mentioned certain fans, and I am just trying to say I am the “few” that does not fault him for going after what he wanted.

And there was no suddenly when it comes to Yue Er’s personality. Most of us saw that since.

I don’t know why people can’t give constructive criticism without being a bully. Do they have to bully everyone and anything that doesn’t agree with them, like why are people so bitter. What’s wrong with internet keyboard warriors.

When this whole thing started and I saw how she had expectations for how she wants to be “pursued”. I kept saying she should pick XiLun because he suits her best…but she didn’t know what she wanted and honestly I don’t think she still does. I am actually worried for him and I hope she doesn’t hurt him in the future. I hope Xilun has a positive influence on her and she’s able to show love more.

You can understand why someone behaves a certain way without excusing the impact of their behaviour on other people.

The biggest issue with Yue Er, to me, is that she seems to avoid making definitive choices because choosing means taking responsibility for the outcome. Instead, she lets circumstances, other people, or their persistence make the decision for her. That gives her a sense of safety.

But the problem is that other people have feelings too. You can’t keep someone emotionally invested while you remain undecided and not making any efforts. It is not fair to them. Imagine if at the end she dint pick Xilun? How do you think he was going to handle it?

Bohan, Yiheng and I can’t remember the other guys names kept saying how they were encouraged to be brave because the girls kept responding to them without hesitation. Feelings are meant to be reciprocated.

I have never had a problem with Xilun…he went after what he wanted. Yue Er is the one that needs to work on herself, and I pray Xilun makes her a better person because if a person keeps giving continuously in a relationship, they will eventually get drained. I pray she doesn’t drain him with her expectations because he gave so so so much and she gave barely anything. That’s not stable. I pray she learns how to love and how to treat people.

That girl really needs a lot of self evaluation, I hope she improves on her need to always expect something from people without giving anything back.

Omg! This is the best ending ever! I am so happy for my favourite couple Kaiyi and Yiheng! That kisssssssssssssss OMG! #screaming . Yiheng said “Kaiyi choose him confidently from the beginning and that’s what made him brave” oh how I love them!

I am also happy for the other couples too. I don’t know about other people this is the best ending, especially for the Yue Er, Xilun and Hewen triangle.

And bless God Yue Er picked the right guy for her, I was seriously praying she doesn’t pick Hewen. He needs someone that understands him and won’t stress him. If they had ended up together they would have been miserable, they are not a good fit.

I just hope Hewen is smart enough to take the lesson from this show and learn that love isn’t one-way, love is reciprocated, know when to cut your losses and move on. He should learn to put himself first. People always watched Yue Er cry, because he did not cry did not mean he wasn’t hurting too…Hewen became a shadow of himself towards the end of the show.

Not an excuse, because the whole world is rude doesn’t mean you have to be rude, because someone is disrespectful doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful.

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