Bhavna

You might call this a cliche drama- showing that there is something more important than money and that is love. Well it’s true. And there are many things about Yamato Nadeshiko that is refreshing and new. First of all, it’s the heroine Sakurako who’s obsession with finding a rich man and richer man borders on sociopathy when it comes to her behaviors in “relationships.” She really doesn’t get into any real relationships, but more like arrangements with rich men who just fall for her based on her looks and don’t see or want anything deeper than that. Because love is not part of the equation, she has no moral issues with jumping from one arrangement to another, like trying to find a better deal at a store, or more brand name person. She reduces people down to rich or poor, and this harsh judgment is a reflection of how she sees and judges herself. She grew up poor and thinks that is the reason for all her misery. So there’s a wounded inner child that mistakenly seeks out this one thing- money- in order to feel worthy on the inside. Sakurako doesn’t seem to even have an inner life as she just acts through a painted mask that smiles just like an air hostess (literally her job in the movie), so she initially has no awareness of this hurting inner child. She acts like a programmed robot, and I have known people like this in my own life (my own sister) who act like money, brand names, and status is the true measure of a person’s worth. It’s terribly sad to see, but the mask starts to crack as she keeps bumping into Oasuke, the poor man who she initially mistakenly thought was rich, and whom she hates for most of the movie. But instead of just glossing over things and saying “They’re in love,” the series touches on what made Sakurako in an money hungry cartoon character, going to one mixer after another, on the prowl for a richer man.

Sakurako’s obsessive pursuit of wealth isn’t about greed—it’s about survival. It’s the strategy of a deeply wounded inner child who was told, directly or indirectly, “You are ugly. You are poor. You are not worthy.” So she builds a mask to counter that narrative. And the tragedy, is that the mask becomes her identity. She doesn’t even know she’s wearing it anymore. She thinks she is the smile, the brand, the perfect image. It’s interesting to see the mask she puts on when she feels the pain of rejection, and uses this impressive beautiful mask throughout her “dating life” (if you want to call that kind of manipulation dating) as a kind of armor and shield. It’s not explicitly explained through the series- the wounded and vulnerable inner child vs her fake mask and how even the rich fiancé she got to become infatuated with her mask never knew the real her, the vulnerable true self that she hides from the world. It seems like only Oasuke has been able to touch that part of her, the vulnerable inner child that is wounded. I wish they had gone deeper into that and about her emotional healing and maturing process that happens in this relationship with Oasuke. That would have made the series much better in my opinion. It just glossed over that part, but that is crucial in giving the heroine a reason to change- because someone who is that manipulative and narcissistic in relationships to the point where she continues going to mixers to find a richer man even while engaged, and right up to the wedding, such a person would need an enormous reason to change. A true breakdown in their life where all of that illusion falls apart. And to be honest, such a person normally doesn’t change. It just so happened that this woman was a manipulator with a wounded inner child and a heart of gold so she ended up going for the “genuine poor man” in the end, acknowledging that any motives for dating the rich fiancé were false and the foundation was built wrong so there’s no hope in continuing that. But in this world, such people would continue manipulating and destroying people’s lives. So caution to viewers here- this isn’t exactly realistic. My sister hasn’t changed one bit in the decades I’ve known her, and unless a catastrophe happens that dramatically brings down the illusions she follows, her “rich people are better” programming will stay with her till the end. That is the sad truth. Someone like this doesn’t just change because of a nice man. A whole identity collapse has to happen. The ego’s scaffolding has to crumble. There has to be despair, not just discomfort. There has to be a total breakdown before a breakthrough is even possible. And in real life, most don’t reach that point. But I’m glad to see even one example, even if it’s on a show of a person who can change so dramatically like Sakurako. If God wills it, then it may happen.

One thing I didn’t like about the series (and many other J dramas) is that the characters don’t say what they came to say when they meet each other. Instead, they fly halfway across the world, put in so much effort, and then at one sign of doubt, they say “Ok goodbye then!” Without saying what they want to say. Is that pride? Is it fear? It’s so annoying! Sakurako flies all the way from Japan to NYC to meet Oasuke in the end, and says to him that she wants to be with him, and Oasuke’s like “I’m confused right now…” so she puts on her mask and is like, “Ok… goodbye then…” Like wtf? You just flew all that way and packed your suitcase and your whole life just for him and now you say goodbye and toss the conversation into the garbage so easily? Do these people not know how to communicate at all? It’s so frustrating to watch. And then I wonder at the end when they’re married, why Sakurako is not working- she could still be a flight attendant, why does she need to end her professional life that she was so good at just to be with him? It’s like now her whole existence revolves around Oasuke (after living such a different life before.. is that even possible unless you had a lobotomy?) and she’s not working. Wouldn’t her default mode go back to going to mixers since that’s what she’s been doing since forever? How does that programming collapse completely I ask? Or maybe the love with Oasuke is so powerful that it collapsed all that? I don’t know, I kind of don’t buy it, but if Sakurako was such a go getter, why not work to support herself and her husband so she can buy all her Fendi stuff? As for Sakurako dropping her job and changing her life instantly—that part strains credibility for me. Unless… something profound happened. Something offscreen. A total shift in identity, not just behavior. That’s where a slower burn romance can help and some of the newer J dramas do this better. And even then, the conditioning doesn’t vanish. You don’t change overnight. The old conditioning has to be faced, again and again. The desire to put the mask back on doesn’t just disappear. But now there’s something else present: awareness. I cannot imagine someone like Sakurako the way she’s been existing since childhood till now could pull a 180 like that and just live normally with Oasuke. Nobody even knows who she really is. She’s been fake since she was a child so how can she just switch to “being real?” Even she doesn’t know who that is. So I don’t buy that part at all. And even till close to the end, she’s still attending mixers, which shows that she’s still going back to old habits. Unless landing in a new country, she completely has to abandon her old self and live like a totally new person…