50FiftillidideeBrain

OSN was brought to us by the same team that gave us Something in the Rain-8.6: Director An Pan-Seok & writer Kim Eun. The two series have so many similarities that it's impossible to review OSN w/o looking back at SITR. OSN is SITR-lite, like a stamp that has been used a 2nd time so the imprint is more faded. They have the same ML and the same actress plays the mother of both FLs. Both are slow paced and build methodology while slow, sultry 🇺🇲music strums in the background. Slow doesn't mean boring. Both are great watches (though SITR started breezy and then ripped my heart out w/o fully putting it back together). As a stand-alone, OSN doesn't have much worth. Its rating and its value are inseparably part and parcel of SITR.

Ji has been dating Gi-seok/Gi (her father's boss's son) for years. Everyone else is used to Gi. Dad is getting close to retirement and his boss has mentioned getting him a job at the foundation (gasp!). Dad is absolutely salivating over the idea. The moment Ji meets Jo she realizes she can't take Gi for another moment. Their relationship had turned stale and moldy when no one was tending to it. The "bad” thing about Jo is that he has a son. The mom took off. Jo seems like a bad bet & Ji falling for Jo threatens to turn the family upside down.

“What if I was about to do something that would turn everyone against me?” Ji asks her friend. Lee Jeong-in/Ji is played by Han Ji-Min. Ms Han can be so cute. She's great in Our Blues-8.5 and she really shines in The Familiar Wife-8.5, which was surprisingly excellent. Ji's stubborn and she will see things through to the end. Yu Ji-Ho/Jo is played by Jung Hae-In. W/o a doubt, he's a nice lookin guy. His appeal goes beyond mere looks. He's not likely to be picked as a top-10 from a lineup of the many exceptional Korean MLs based on looks alone, but he is a top-10. Probably a top-5 for many. He has a manner, and he has liquid-like eyes that just melt the viewer. His parents watch his son while Jo lives near his job. He's been living lonely while alone, Ji's been living lonely while amidst others. Jo finally opens up a wee bit: “I had to endure to survive. If I didn't suppress this anger and emotion, who knows what I would have done?”

OSN is a 2019 release that is rated 83 on AWiki. It is 1 season consisting of 16 60-minute episodes. It didn't tear my heart out and stomp on it like SITR did. I like the characters, but my blood pressure didn't spike when they met adversity. Each series looks at oppressive, controlling parents and restrictive society from different angles and involves FLs who are under pressure to date a certain way. While I loved SITR, it was painful - very painful - I wanted to slap the FL more than once. OSN is so similar - I wasn't sure I was up for the pain.

Both FLs have a touch of good-girl disease and go through a fair amount of dithering. It can be unnerving. In SITR, the FL is expected to date only in the upper social strata, while in OSN, our FL is pressured on all sides to maintain a long term relationship so that everyone /else/ will feel at ease. It's the same issues but OSN has a different FL - a stronger one who is more impervious to coercion, yet still bogged down by a society that sucks at the feet, fighting every step forward. SITR features a toxic mother and OSN bring us imperious males. (The mom in OSN is lovely, and the same woman (Gil Hae-Yeon) plays mom in both shows. That's what /acting/ looks like). If one looks at the two shows as volumes of the same book, they fit together perfectly. Both of them feature quiet, everyday drama. Around ep7, I started to get nervous that this would be 9 more episodes of dithering over pressure asserted by friends, family, and society. The vacillation finally dies out and gives way to decision.

Poor losers. That's theme #1. “It's why I can't let this go. I don't want to look like a pathetic loser,” Gi moans. Gi's enormous ego led him to treat Ji as less - he took advantage of her - and when she leaves him, his ego can't take the “L. Gi refuses to break up with her because he doesn't want to lose - and he /really/ doesn't want to lose to Jo. I've known people who remain bitter for years - decades, even - after a divorce (the hurt may never go away, but this discussion is about allowing hurt to turn into bitterness, which is something different). The sense is that the bitterness is more about anger over losing more than anything else. Everyone must lose at some point. The fact that a person can't get beyond a loss, but rather opts for bitterness, means s/he is even more of a loser. Keep moving forward; work on yourself. Anything else is loser mentality. Every decision Gi makes, makes him more of a loser. Pride is a sneaky destroyer, yet we house it and nurture it until it infests every part of our lives. Pride is also Gi”s biggest motivator. It's what motivated him to work all the time to the neglect of his girlfriend. More than love, pleasing his difficult father (being validated) motivates Gi. That is why he never even introduced Ji to dad. He was worried she wasn't good enough. He took her for granted and thought he could make anything & everything up to her later - she would put up with it all. He had just heard from Jo: “You looked down on me.” Now Ji turns around and says the same thing; “You looked down on me,“ and “I was stupid to put up with it,” she adds. Yep, Gi is over the top, but I know a few Gi’s, and worse. Dad is worse. He only sees his daughters as pawns to bolster his image. Compare him to the ML, whose son is the world to him.

The fact that Jo has a son is a huge (YUGE!) obstacle, culturally. This goes against deeply ingrained traditions. Traditions usually start as something good, but people twist and corrupt everything. After awhile we get to the place where parents say: ‘You: Stay with the abusive husband,’ and, ‘You: Marry the cold guy who uses you because the man who loves you has a child.’ After awhile, traditions make no sense and do more harm than good as they morph into the opposite of what was originally intended. We need to examine our presuppositions every now & then.

Men treating women like property is another theme. “You should be ashamed that you're a shallow minded father who's more concerned with what other people think,” says mom to dad. The father sees his daughters as collateral. There's two relationships in which the man will not agree to a break-up, Ji with Gi, and her oldest sister with her abusive husband. In each case, the motivation is love - love of themselves, or pride. Neither cares much about the woman. “Do you think this is about love?” Ji's friend asks. When two men fight over a woman, it's usually about their pride, not the woman. The women know it isn't love, but they are trapped.

The way Ji has such a hard time making a clean break is one of the themes: Duty vs heart. There are duties that are infinitely more important than what we want, but some “duties” aren't duties at all: They are just a form of useless, meaningless control. Wisdom is knowing the difference. Ji is told that she shouldn't break-up with Gi as feelings come and go. She's treated with disrespect merely because she realizes she doesn't love her bf; she doesn't even /like/ him. He's just a /bf/ that she let hang around for too long, not a husband or even a fiance. Everyone acts like Ji's love life is their business. They keep asking if /Gi/ has /agreed/ to break it off (like that matters). Her sister is pushed to stay in a mistake-marriage with the claim that feelings come and go. This is true. Feelings come and go. However, most of the people (dad, especially) making this statement have a pride agenda. They don't want to look bad. There's a collection of things that dad is getting from his daughters’ relationships. He never gives a thought to what they are getting back, though. He has no inkling of how much he has distanced himself from them because dad has one great love affair in his life, and that's with himself.

It's not just Dad, mom, and Gi that Ji's trying to balance. Her co-workers’ curiosity is inflamed and she wants to win over her sisters to her side as well. Her sisters are navigating similar gauntlets (though in typical birth-order fashion, the youngest sister isn't struggling over pleasing any parent). Ji's friend may not agree with her decisions, but it's always good to listen to a contrary view, especially since her friend has no agenda other than wanting the best for a friend. Before long, though, Ji feels at home nowhere but in Jo's arms. Everything has been turned inside out.

We, in the West, can point fingers at 🇰🇷 and deride them for this awful behavior all we want, but we have the opposite problem. We've become slaves to our capricious, untrustworthy feelings. We throw out our duty, loyalty, and obligations all too easily. We indulge every whim yet are not satisfied, and our culture is increasingly enraged. The truth is often in the middle & the right answer is always a tailored fit; it cannot be found on the rack. Some marriages cannot be salvaged (Sister's marriage looks hopeless), but there's plenty of people who have worked on their failing marriages in earnest and have come out happier. One of life's secrets is that always indulging one's feelings and giving in to anger will never produce a happy life. Gratitude and contentment will. Anger is too frequently used as a veil to cover up our own deficiencies and inadequacies. If we are focused on another person's misdeeds, we never need pay mind to our own. Not only will this not work in the long-term, but it will also canker every relationship we have. Anger and hate eat our souls. So, while feelings are important, they aren't the most important thing. Treat them like a child: Nurse them, care for them, train them, but don't overindulge and spoil them or they will become ravenous monsters.

The first kiss should have been better. Perhaps they wanted it to be matter-of-fact, but waiting 9 episodes for that was a letdown. The first time I teared up wasn't for them, it was when two women sat on a bench together w/o saying a word. It's one of the best scenes in the show.

As the relationship with Gi falls apart he starts to see Ji with new eyes. The more she slips away, the more he falls in love. He's devastated when his own father, who had previously disapproved of Ji, actually compliments her. He had dismissively felt he owned her, and now that he's losing her, his own father seems to have more respect for /her/ than /him/! He could have gained points with his father by marrying Ji! Instead, dad looks down on him even more for blowing it. He makes a final play based on friendship - after a while the ardor may fade, but their friendship remains, surely? At the same time, Jo rejects the idea of friendship. He says he could never look at Ji in that way; she means too much to him. A self-absorbed person is incapable of being a good mate. Gi offers loveless, passionless “friendship.” Jo offers passion, devotion, adoration… Jo offers commitment - for every spring, summer, fall & winter's eve. Every good girl deserves to be loved like that!



QUOTES📢

Why do relationships always have such $h!++y endings?

Instead of holding back to protect someone, wouldn't you regret it less if you showed how far you're willing to go for that someone?


〰🖍 IMHO

📣7.7 📝7.6 🎭8 💓7.8 🦋5.5 🌞5.3 🎨6 ⚡2 🎵/🔊7.4 😅3 😭3.8 😱2 😯4.8 😖0 🤔7 💤2.5 🔚7.6

Age 15+
Language: $h!+, b!+ch, pr!ck


Re-📺? This one's in the good-to-pass-the-time category, but I may never pass this way again….

In order of ~lite&trite~ to ~heavy&serious~ you may also like:

Modern Day:
Mad For Each Other 7.8 ~silly fun;
My Secret Romance 7 (if you ff thru overdone flashbacks);
A Witch's Love 7.8;
Love to Hate You 8.9;
Her Private Life 8;
Touch your heart 8.2;
Romance is a bonus book 7.9;
Boys Over Flowers 8 ~ melodrama to the max;
Crash Landing On You 9.1;
Oh My Ghost 10;
It's Okay Not To Be Okay 9;
Love Struck in the City 7.3;
Hospital Playlist 9;
My Mister 9.5;
More Than Friends 8;
I'll See You When the Weather is Fine 9;
Something in the Rain 9

Historical/Period:
My Only Love Song 8.7 ~ excellent comedy;
Live Up To Your Name 7.6;
Mr. Queen 8.5;
My Sassy Girl / Yeopgijeogin Geunyeo 8.5;
Saimdang 8.5;
The King's Affection 8.3;
Mr. Sunshine 9

Try a Chinese historical fantasy romcom: The Romance of Tiger and Rose 9.8

Action/Sci-fi/fantasy:
K2 8;
Private Lives 8.1;
Sisyphus 8;
Tunnel 8.1;
Signal 8.6;
Black 9;
Squid Game 8.4;
Kingdom 8.3;
Sweet Home 8.4