This review may contain spoilers
Day is Awful, Mhok is Great, Series was Okay....
Now to be fair, I started watching this right after finishing "I Feel You Linger In The Air" (which had me in tears - something extremely rare for any piece of media to do). Given how highly this is rated, not to mention the great premise, I jumped at it. I figured I was already on the emotional rollercoaster, might as well go for broke...but yeah...no.Mhok:
Early on I adored the interactions between Day and Mhok. The banter was top-notch and really made me fall for Mhok's character, especially with the backstory he was given. I had seen the actor before in Bad Buddy and his performance in the beginning of this show didn't disappoint and left me eager for the next episode - at first. It didn't take long for everything I loved about the character to be washed away, leaving Mhok as nothing more than a plot device for Day. While we saw fleeing moments of his spunky personality, it was rare and completely non-existent by the end.
Mhok is like the most well seasoned steak that was waved in front of us, then is taken to the sink to have all the spices washed off after we've been teased with it. By the end of the show he's not even recognizable as the same character from the beginning. You can cry character development all you like, but all I saw was character assassination - right down to his very wardrobe. Out of everything I didn't like about this series, this, in my opinion, was the worst offense. How did he go from a bad boy with fart shirts and jeans that had more holes than fabric to a pitiful caricature in polo shirts that begs a jerk to take him back and thanks them for their mistreatment? Come on....they did his character so, so dirty.
Day:
I'd like to say they did the same character assassination to Day, but honestly, he started as a brat and ended as an even bigger brat who wouldn't know how to apologize if it hit him in the face with a brick. The way he treated everyone was just awful. Disability or no, you don't treat people like that and he never once took accountability for his actions or treatment of others. He simply has no excuse other than being an petulant child incapable of maturity unless the plot called for it.
Example: This guy seems to be really into Mhok, then suddenly it's 'haha, fooled you I'm actually crushing on an old friend and I don't like you at all because you aren't my type.' Wait, what?! I was so confused. Episodes of building up their obvious mutual attraction - for what? Then to make it worse, he nearly instantly FORGIVES said friend for kissing him out of pity, yet heartlessly dumps Mhok because he didn't want to take a job in another country which would force him from Day's side? He says it's because Mhok pitied him but I never saw that at all and, again, the fact he'd dump and then block his number for three years for one lie (which he had good reason for) while practically insta-forgiving being pity-kissed and led on by his crush is laughable in a bad way. Like, you can be mature about the guy who literally used you, but not with the guy who actually loves you? Uh-huh. Make it make sense, writers.
Honestly, by episode 06 I was already so over the show and had to force myself to watch to the end - all because of how awful Day's personality was. Honestly, how can you act like you're into someone, to then only show interest in someone else, to then hurt the person you first showed interest in, only to turn around and change you mind 'just because', then continually hurt that person over and over again while claiming to love them? That's just toxic and Mhok deserved better.
Side Characters:
While Mhok initially stole my heart, Night stole the show - with what few scenes they gave him. He did NOT deserve all the BS from his mom and Day. None of it was his fault. Honestly, if he and Phojai had this show done through their perspective, I'd have rather have watched that because they were AMAZING and had fantastic chemistry. Such a waste. It's sad when I care exponentially more about side characters I barely see than the main couple. Also, the mother was such a horrible, controlling piece of work. Literally the worst, just like her youngest son. I get where she was coming from, but wow did she take it too far to the point it was cringeworthy and really in bad taste. Also, just a small rant but I have to say it - it bothers me to no end that Day can be fine with his mother pitying him and treating him differently, but Mhok shows a single moment of weakness (the weakness is wanting to stay with Day) and that's just too much? Again, make it make sense, writers.
Overall:
Honestly, there's a lot more I could say. The ending, the father, the time skips, the excessive amount of product placement for that tea and berry milk....sigh. All that said, I don't blame the actors at all. They were on point and did great with what they were given but what they were given was just bad. That said I didn't really feel any chemistry between Mhok and Day at all - it just wasn't there and the intimate scenes were pretty stiff and cringeworthy more often than not. Mhok really tried, but it seemed as if every time Mhok kissed him, that Day was afraid of getting cuties or something. I haven't seen kissing that stiff since Seven Days (which was, admittedly, still the worst kissing scene I've ever watched in any media so far). Again, no shade to the actors, it happens and for the most part everyone did a great job with what they were given. Also had no problems with the music and the cinematography was on point as well.
Even so, I honestly don't get why this is rated as highly as it is. Maybe I just have bad taste, I don't know. All I know is that the series was just okay. I mean, I've watched worse, probably even enjoyed worse.... I guess I simply had too high of expectations and at the end of the day simply wasn't able to connect to the main character in any positive way.
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If You Ignore the Last Two Episodes this Show is Nearly Perfect
For the most part this series was absolutely amazing, though I’d advise against watching the last two episodes as they do nothing for the relationship between our leads and is mostly just one long ad against smoking mixed with heavy crying porn and unneeded melodrama that really hurt the tone, story, and pacing. There was SO much they could have done with those last two episodes but they went with THAT and it was just…unnecessary. You could end this show at episode 12 and miss absolutely nothing (aside from your own personal annoyance and aggravation).That said, just because the last two episodes dropped the ball (and dropped it hard) doesn’t take away from the previous 12 episodes and just how wonderful this series was as a whole. Honestly, if not for the last two episodes this would have been a solid 10/10 for me and a fast favorite for sure. Their relationship and dynamics felt real. The characters were all charming in their own ways. This series was a showcase on: Healthy family relationships, friendship, and people acting like people would act in real life (i.e. there is a scene of a bunch of high school boys just acting like genuine high school boys which made me laugh and say ‘yeah, they’d do that.’).
While neither main was perfect and had their flaws, you could always see that their hearts were in the right place and really balanced each other out. Even during parts where I actually rooted against them being together (in the first half), I never harbored bad feelings for either lead and sympathized with them both equally because I could fully understand why each one acted as they did. All around they were just genuinely believable characters and all of their actions made sense given their personalities.
I will say in the second part there is a huge shift and their characters change A LOT, but given the time jump I found it refreshing as more often than not the characters never show growth after a time skip – they just pick up where they left off and I, personally, didn’t see that in this one. They both evolved for better and for worse – even more those changes in character were clearly shown, addressed, and discussed. A lot of characters showed great growth and maturity over the course of the series. Even when one of the leads cried, they still showed more maturity than some other dramas I’ve seen. It really shows that it’s okay to cry about something yet still be mature about it. Also, I loved that this show actually addressed sexuality instead of pretending as if sexuality doesn’t exist like so many others I’ve seen. It was so refreshing.
The only problem I had with the second half was that we don’t see how Cake’s feelings evolved from friendship to romance, but given this was mostly Seeiw’s POV, that made sense. Instead of having those two nonsense episodes at the end, we would have been better off with at least one episode that followed Cake’s character to see how he came to see Seeiw as more than a friend. Sadly, we didn’t get that. Even so, it’s still compelling and believable for his character/personality.
Honestly, I just really love this series. I just wish I could erase the last two episodes from my mind. This series deserved better than that.
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This review may contain spoilers
A Realistic Depiction of Depression
Let me start by saying that I doubt there is anything I can say in this review that hasn't already been said better by other reviewers. Even so, I still wanted to give my thoughts.As someone who has Major Depressive Disorder and has struggled with suicidal ideation for a long time, I can see myself in Shin and the story this drama told.
Going in, I could tell that Shin had depression long before the events of the second episode. Not having friends, not wanting to be seen, constantly feeling that every bad thing is directly his fault, etc...Unless you've struggled with extreme depression, it can be a hard concept to grasp. Speaking purely from my perspective - when you have depression your mind is already in such chaos that even the mundane things people take for granted can be too overwhelming. Even if your days are easy and without 'worry' depression will always find a way to make something from nothing. For most people, going through 'the motions' is normal, not even something they think about. For someone with severe depression just getting out of bed and showering is a huge accomplishment. The way Shin behaved, even from the beginning, screamed depression at me.
When the event in episode two happened, it was more than heartbreaking. Someone you admire doing something so traumatic is life changing....hell, even if he was a stranger it's still life-changing, let's be honest. This drama did a great job in showing that. Even if he wasn't depressed before, it wouldn't have mattered. It fundamentally changed him. Which leads me to the third episode and my take on it.
MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD:
I've seen people say that the (first) suicide scene was too much and not needed, but I disagree. Personally, I think most of us just don't want to see it. It's too uncomfortable. To me, it didn't glorify the act (there is no glory in it), but showed it in a realistic light. Like it or not, people do this. Given his mindset, it was an action I understood, probably because I've been there myself and could see where he was at mentally. Nothing in this show hit me harder then when he asked his parents why they couldn't just let him die. It hit so hard because I've asked that exact question myself to my loved ones, practically word for word. Whoever wrote this knew what they were doing. Same goes for the actors as well. They all did a phenomenal job and deserve all the praise for their work.
Now onto the ending...
It is my opinion that Shin died at the end. He could say he was better, but saying so and being so are two very different things. I think he purposefully stepped out in front of the car because doing so, in his mind, was the only way to free himself of that parasite we call depression. I see people say it was an open ending (and truthfully it was), but to me it was so clear what happened. Again, though, just my perspective. His interaction with his friends, his thoughts...they never convinced me he was finally happy and at peace. It sounded and felt more like a goodbye to his friends as he struggled to convince himself (and everyone else) he was finally okay, yet knowing he never would be.
The irony of someone who has already decided to end it is that they can often feel at peace and, in some small way, find a sort of happiness after reaching that decision. That's partly why it seems so sudden from the outside looking in. They seemed happy...and they were in a sense as they know it'll be over soon. There's relief in that. We saw that relief when he tried it the first time and saw it again before the screen went black. It's also no secret that those of us who struggle with this will often hide it because we don't want anyone to worry because of us. In the end, I think he gave up and found his own peace in that decision.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Some people are able to rise above their trauma, to manage and perhaps even overcome depression. I think that's great, if not a miracle into itself. Others can't. I love that this drama had the guts to show that. Sometimes it doesn't matter how strong your support system is or if you're taking meds or seeking help from a good therapist. Sometimes depression is so deeply rooted into the brain that nothing can really touch it to make it go away or even ease up. Sometimes no amount of help can ease a troubled mind. So, understandably, the conclusion some find is that the only way to find peace is through absolute silence, whether we agree with that decision or not.
Now, I've seen a lot of comments of people saying that if you suffer from mental illness, thoughts of self-harm, etc...you should avoid this show. In some cases, I think that's true. It may give the impression that suicide is okay. As someone who's been there, part me can't refute that I see it as a valid option. Another part of me, however, disagrees. The fight sucks...but I've learned that ending it only ends your pain, not the pain of those around you who love you, even when you don't understand why. That's why people say it's selfish. You end your suffering by causing suffering to others. Even though in the depths of your mind you see it as a mercy to them - a sort of relieving them of the burden of you, it's really not. Not at all. Depression is weird like that. The way it can twist and warp one's perspective is really messed up and really not talked about enough.
For those of us struggling, but not in a place of utter nihilism, I think the drama is a gift. I felt heard, seen. There's a twisted sense of comfort in knowing you aren't the only one struggling with this, that you aren't alone. Sometimes that tiny bit of validation is enough. It opens the door to honest, compassionate conversations which are often unvoiced due to many factors such as social taboo, shame, and fear.
This drama was great representation and I full respect it, even appreciate it. While I will typically avoid anything with a sad/bad/tragic ending I have no regrets watching this nor do I feel particularly sad about it's ending. In all honesty, I don't even feel it was a bad ending, because he finally found peace. Regardless of how one views the ending, that part is irrefutable. It's hard for me to explain how it made me feel and why because there's just so much there to unwrap, I feel I'd be trying to put it into words all day yet never giving it the justice it deserves.
Suffice it to say, this drama is a 10/10 for me and I thank all those involved in making it. As hard as a topic as it was, it's a story that needs to be told and heard. Even more - it needs to be talked about in a humanizing way. If you think you have the mental strength/awareness/compassion to watch it, I'd say to please give a shot. It's a great introspective that can really make you think. If, however, you question your ability to not hurt self today....best to avoid it, at least until you're at a place where you no longer view your death as your best friend.
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This review may contain spoilers
Loved it, but....
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!Overall, I'm in love with this series. So many BL actors - most of them I knew instantly. I was on cloud nine to see so many in a single show. The plot was great too and I enjoyed the acting, even if some characters really never should have made it into college....if you've watched it, then you know who I'm talking about. Ring, ring.
Sadly, as much as I love this show that ending really annoyed me. I'll be honest, the main reason I LOVE Asian dramas is that *MOST* of them don't have multiple seasons because they don't need them. A good majority are all self contained and tell a full story in a single season. No cliffhangers, no waiting years for a new season (that might not even happen) or getting tons of seasons for something that should have ended a long time prior, leaving the show feeling pointless only to end with an extremely unsatisfying ending.
Asian dramas tend to bypass that nonsense and gives us a COMPLETE story that ends when it should. While there are expectations to this, I'd say 98% of what I've watched has been self-contained into one season and any sequels are usually just spin offs that focus on the side characters from the original. I prefer it this way and it's for this reason that I rarely ever watch American tv shows (as they either drag on when it shouldn't, gets cancelled, or we have to wait YEARS for a new season...not my thing, sorry). After watching Asian dramas, I never looked back.
What first got me interested in this show was hearing that Boss would be in it. Then I saw the rest of the cast and couldn't contain my excitement. I was so hyped. Sadly, I wasn't able to watch it until today. While it was everything I hoped it would be, the joy I felt was overshadowed greatly by getting the American/Western treatment at the end.
Seeing as this was released by Netflix, I don't know why I thought that this would be a full story in one season. They did it with All of Us Are Dead, Sweet Home, and Squid Game. Of course, this would get the same treatment. I really should have prepared myself for that, but I didn't. Had it not been a cliffhanger ending that we'll have to likely wait years for (if it comes out at all with Netflix's track record), then this would have been a 10/10 for me. Simply due to the end, I gave it a 9.5. It would have been disingenuous of me to do otherwise since it really was that good. When/if the story is ACTUALLY over, then I'll revise my score. For now, I can't help but be disappointed.
All that said, this is a fantastic show and I was hooked from the moment it started until the moment it ended. If you enjoy any of these actors, this is definitely a must watch, though I'd probably advise you to wait until it's actually completed, but who knows when that will be?
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