CKDramaddicts

Everytime I come across this title and see the 8.1 rating on it, I get so annoyed that I want to write a review, and I'm so glad someone did and highlighted everything wrong with the ML. The show is INCREDIBLY problematic and it's genuinly disturbing knowing how many impressionable young girls are getting the wrong message from this drama. He absolutely did not respect her agency and was far too controlling. I also could not stand how grabby he was -- it was as though she was regularly being pulled or jerked around like a rag doll, and the agressive face grab kiss was just gross. Regardless of whether you like your kisses sweet and romantic or hot and agressive, it was neither. And finally, that hotel scene was WTF from start to finish. The bribing, the fact that the hotel guy didn't even blink at the implications, her clear messaging that she was not ready, the lines she drew that he kept crossing. She clearly did not want it, but he "persuaded" her. It doesn't matter if "she was just fine" the next day. If this was a real world situation, a lot of women might pretend to be fine after even when they are not. Don't be swayed or fooled by a pretty face. Actions matter. In this case, it's all toxic underneath.

Update: completed the drama and thankfully her character improved/matured significantly after the first third and made the rest much more watchable (but this may be a relative thing...). There were other annoying side characters, but after how frustrated I was with the FL during the first 9-10 episodes, those felt pretty minor in comparison, lol.

Thanks, I will persist and see where it takes me :)

Ha, okay. I have been duly warned and will proceed at my own risk....!

Ah, thank you! The version I watched didn't have the Chinese text, so I wasn't 100 percent sure I heard correctly which words they used, but interpreted as just saying he's not a player.

Sorry, not sure I understand your point? A person can have had sex while in a relationship and then be celibate after, choosing to abstain from sex when not in a relationship. Someone could have been sexually active at one point in their life and then chose to abstain at another point, like nuns and priests, who become celibate once they enter service. Abstinance, by definition, is choosing not to indulge in something pleasurable, separate from whether they are a virgin or not. In any case, in this particular instance, "celibate" is also a translation issue, since that's not what she said. If I heard correctly, in Chinese, she actually said something along the lines of, "he's all pretense" -- referring to his "playboy" image and how that is not who he is in reality.

Does the FL get better at all? I am only on episode 10 and find her insensible behaviour almost intolerable and her friend/maid almost as bad. I have never dropped a drama, but am coming pretty close with this one...

If you like that relationship, you might like My Fated Boy, which has a similar feel, but much better, imho. Healthy, non-toxic relationship, supportive and awesome parents, no annoying obsessive third party, etc.

She didn't say that. The subtitles translated it to "celibate" which is completely different from virgin. She's basically saying the ML is not a player who toys with people's emotions, despite the "list" of names in the bar, which is just joke among their circle of friends. This is important to the FL, because she had serious feelings for him, but did not want to get involved if he just wanted to have fun.

Yikes. I am already finding her immature and intolerable in episode 5 and 6! How can she not grasp the basic and obvious fact that she is a distraction to everyone at the military base and is putting them all at risk despite everyone spelling it out for her like basic ABC's?! I also don't drop dramas but have seriously considered it here. I read the synopsis thinking it was a really smart sensible fL, but she is the complete opposite. The contrast is especially glaring having just watched Rebirth for You (which, for all its own annoying flaws has a very intelligent, rational and sensible FL). I'll keep muddling through this as a background watch with the hope that it will get better and she will grow up soon...(Aside: also, the way she proclaimed her love so quickly and believes the ML loves her reminds me of the annoying, obsessed third party to the OTP in every other drama, lol.) I like cute, but so far, this is not it.

Lol, I completely forgot about Gao Miaorong and Li Lin!

There are three side couples: the FL's BFF and a friend of the ML (soldier and related to the deceased Dowager Empress); the business woman and the ML's BFF (paired late and less prominant); and the ML's half sister and the second prince of the neighbouring country. I'm normally so-so/picky about side couples, but these were all great -- healthy, non-toxic relationships! I especially liked the sister and second prince.

It dragged for me a little too in the middle, but I thought the final third was good. Starting around 16 or 17. The episodes are pretty short and goes pretty fast once things pick up again.

I have to say I loved the bonus episode. From a story telling perspective, it came full circle in terms of bringing the landlady and her family back, along with the hilarity, tone, and mood of the first episode. I also interpreted it as a happy ending for both couples -- it's implied they will get their happy ending, despite the rocky introductions, and they offer enough hints and clues that the traces of the original prince and guard, or their spirits, are still present on a subconscious level.

I also loved Ouyang Wenshan's ridiculous reincarnation -- it was hilarious, fitting, and poetic even, that he would come back as the complete opposite of "cool" and stylish" -- almost like a test of Jiang Hui Zhen's love, since on the surface at least, those things are important to her. (It was nice to hear Wang Ruichang's real voice here, as I never got used to the dubbed voice.)

Finally, I liked that Duan Shui Liu and the Dragon Lady got a proper happy ending in their own lifetime (where they still remember and recognize each other), and not have to wait, since of all the couples, they perhaps exercised the most agency in determining and fighting for their own fate and love.

I had a lot of mixed feelings about the show, acting, and some of the characters especially from about episodes 5/6 to 16ish, but the final third made up for a lot of the flaws and brought the story to a bittersweet conclusion capped with an entertaining and satisfying epilogue.

That's fair and everyone is allowed to interpret the scene in their own way. But I wanted to point out that for many women who have been in a similar situation, especially with someone they know/love, "acting normal" and continuing friendly contact/a relationship is very common behaviour. However we interpret that scene in PS, I personally still think it is still an irresponsible portrayal of the situation, especially given the type of drama it is and arguably, the age of some of its viewers too.

Just watched that section and she never said she hated him. She just didn't like him romantically but considered them friends. But he kept crossing the line with his obsession: the first time, he threatened to make it impossible for the Fangs to continue living in the Captial and said he'd use his power to drive them out of the city (this was around ep 14); then when he announced that they were to be married without consulting her; he also kept calling her weak on a number of occasions, and she finaly had enough when he basically said she shouldn't cause trouble by trying to run a business since she's just a weak woman, and that it would be so much better to just marry him and be a good wife, etc.; then the final, final straw was when she found out the Su Family hired the assasin to kill her and Cheng Tian while enroute to Xizhou. She even defended him to others saying she did not believe he knew about it or was involved as she believed he was not a bad person, but she also knew they could no longer be friends.

I had issues from the moment he set it up so that they were "force" to share a room, and it only increased when he clearly did not respect the boundaries that she set up once they shared a room, even though he seemed to indicate he would. It doesn't need to be violent -- she was obviously pressured into a situation she was not ready for.

Thank you for writing this -- I'm so happy to see this issue being discussed! Your intro was very relatable -- I absolutely love C-dramas, but there are varying degrees of consent issues in a lot of them disguised as meet-cute scenarios and sweet moments.

Among the ones I've watched that I found especially problematic, I was really glad to see you call out Well-Intended Love and **especially** Professional Single. I had issues with a lot of the ML's behaviour, but that scene in PS completely ruined the entire drama for me (I am irked by its rating, lol.) Another one I wanted to call out as an example of a thoroughly toxic relationship is Sweet First Love.

I think problematic behaviour is getting called out a little more now (Jiang Jun was at least pissed and moved out when she found out Yuan Shuai owned the apartment, I guess?), but generally, it still feels like it is mostly called out if it's "obvious" or if the aggressor is some greasy business executive or slimy bar patron type -- as though it's better/okay when it's the ML. Also annoyingly, when a female character is subjected to behaviour that's clearly harassment or criminal, she gets over it by the next episode and it never comes up again. (Another issue that's part consent part physical aggression that I also find irritating in many instances is the excessive ponytail pulling , arm yanking, etc.)

Yes, it's all fiction and fantasy so some leeway is given, but many of the examples, especially the worse offenders, still send the wrong message about what's okay when someone pursues you and also when you are in a relationship. It's not necessarily about not showing these things, but how these situations get handled that's the problem. Given the way #MeToo cases have been dealt with in China over the last 2-3 years, there is still a lot of work to be done. It would be great to see C-dramas take a lead in setting a better example addressing the issue.

Anyway, thank you for bringing attention to the issue here!

I am loving this drama so far, especially the OTP, but I'm watching this with zero expectations the entire time, so perhaps that helps. It's by the same production team that did I Will Never Let You Go with many of the same supporting cast (this is a companion piece to that one but unrelated story and characters), so I am fully prepared for this drama to derail in one giant hot mess, sadly. I am still not over what they did to the ending of that one!

For anyone who understands Mandarin, I stumbled across this great live stream four of the cast members did together. They talked extensively about filming the drama, their first impressions of each other, WRC does a bit of rap, and the others sing snippets of songs from the drama, etc. It's a lot of fun, so hopefully it will get subbed and become accessible for other international fans of the drama. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB14lISeOEE&list=PLjPeV4q4ed5FKL7tcodACiQKkAD8oNw76&index=4&t=369s