Gern

@blacklatina, Don’t fault this writer too much; the story isn’t over yet. In the Familiar Wife (by the same writer) the view of who was at fault changed 180 degrees by the end.

@ElektrionHeart, I like your first sentence best. I think it’s always best to strive to see people for what is in their individual hearts, rather than things they have no control over, such as their gender or the color of their skin. Taken as a whole, I think this author rather likes skewering biases and stereotypes. That is why in this drama we get a female doctor that is the cold, rational type while the man is the emotive one. She is saying people are all individuals and often don’t stay in our neat little conceptions of gender.

I’m not sure it is entirely her fault. In the wake of the miscarriage she felt alone and miserable. That’s his fault because he didn’t make sure she felt loved. At a time when she felt her worst and most vulnerable, they needed to find solace in one another. He needed to understand the importance of that. It wasn’t even that he didn’t love her, she needed to feel it
Even if the miscarriage was her fault, he should have been above that and made sure she felt secure and cherished.

Otherwise I agree, she needs to see how she tramples on him, even if he seems okay with it. The way she contradicted him on the television show with no care how it made him look or feel was super insensitive and bad. I suspect she may begin to see what she has done if she can see her role in what appears to be the melt-down that is coming.

If he sinks low enough he may begin to see everything as his fault and push her away because he feels like he will only bring her misery. I think the one thing that might get through to her, that might cause true regret, is to not be able to get him back, even after she sees that she threw away a man who loves her so much he gave her up so she could be happy and kept cheering her on even as it made him miserable.

Not to mention the one that wanted the divorce is rewarded and goes happily on her way, while the guy who agreed to the divorce so she would be happy suffers.

At this rate, there’s no hope for them given how easily she moved on. Even if they get back together she will want a divorce in the future because it’s how she can become happy again when the next inevitable crisis happens.

I am becoming disenchanted with how Na-Hee is being portrayed. She is supposedly a strong woman, yet she has no burning desire of her own, nothing that animates her and drives her in this story. Because of that, she becomes a simple object of pursuit for the two male characters to fight over. Portraying women as objects to be pursued would have earned you harsh criticism fifty years ago at the height of the women’s movement. It’s a bit dated and disappointing to see a woman playing such a passive role as the main character in a modern series.

I know what you mean. It’s gotten to the point here it makes him seem like he is the only main character, as if Na Hee isn’t a real character with desires and dilemmas of her own, she is just a plot device to cause him heartache.

That was a good drama, but I don’t recall the age difference being such a big deal. Perhaps because it became a big issue for the woman in High School King of Savvy. I think this writer likes to challenge biases like double in-laws and put them out front where the characters struggle with them. Because of that I could see her making it into one of the issues the characters must deal with

There are many good dramas with interesting couples: Still 17, Healer, Suspicious Partners, While You Were Sleeping, and so many others. But I have to say, this couple is rather unique and they are well played. With this weeks episodes it seems like things will have to move forward for them, it will be interesting to see where it goes though.

I’ve been thinking (too much apparently) about where each of the main couple was wrong and what they need to learn before they can heal their relationship.

For her, I think it’s that she isn’t really strong, she just puts up a strong front. She is smart and outspoken, but she uses both as a shield to hide her insecurity. In the wake of the miscarriage she needed to admit she was at fault, make it okay for him to blame her, and make sure he knew it would never happen again. A strong person would have been able to do that. But she isn’t strong enough to appear weak and vulnerable in front of her lover. This is what she needs to learn. His fault was far far worse. He didn’t create an environment where it was okay for her to be vulnerable.

In the wake of the miscarriage he had only one important job: to make sure she felt loved and cherished. The obvious evidence is that he failed utterly, leaving her feeling alone and miserable to deal with it on her own. For the supposedly high EQ one that is remarkable un-self-aware and unforgivable. He needs to learn that something as simple as making sure your mate knows they are loved no matter what (even when they hurt you or cause a miscarriage,) is all that really matters, and if he does that, all the other problems will deal with themselves.

I feel like he has suffered enough from his mistake to leave a big enough impression that he won’t repeat it. In that sense, he seems on the edge of real change. What he needs now is to see how is failure to make sure she knew she was loved was the biggest reason for the divorce.

A high schooler dating a much older working woman. The age and experience difference was a bit shocking, but handle very well.
I agree, by the way. The aversion to dating blood relatives is because the double dose of genes can causes babies with genetic abnormalities. It totally doesn’t apply to in-laws.

Agreed. He should get out of that workplace. Besides, it’s no longer his concern if Na-Hee is dating a man that after several dates, she can’t even stand to kiss.

Agreed. It is nice to see some progress. It changes the game from his side. But I think he has gone as far as he can, and nothing much will happen until she stops dating the director. So until that happens expect more emotionally charged glances with neither telling the other they are or were jealous or is still in love. Hopefully for something less than 20 episodes.

I love your enthusiasm, but objectively, not much has changed. Na-Hee is still dating the director. Gyu-Jin never was dating Bo-Yeong, so all that has happened is he told her not to hope any more. And he may have gained some clarity on what he feels, At least the flashbacks tell us that now he realizes he still loves Na-Hee. but who knows if he will actually say it out loud.

I don’t think it would make sense for him to try to get her back regardless of his feelings. Not until he can see a way to do things differently this time that gives him hope that he can make her happy. Or perhaps if they just dated. My fear is that his new insight into his own feelings may bring him to a breaking point where now that he has faced why he is in pain, he might decide it is best to leave rather than continue to see his ex with another man. However, even a decision to change jobs or go study might be enough to move their relationship forward.

I like the doctor couple in the first place because you get so much more fun out of opposites. Because they are so different, the potential is there for them to both help and complete each other and each will be stronger with the help of the other . They provide balance in each other’s lives. The director and Na-Hee are boring together because they are too much alike. They will tend to clash and amplify each other’s worst traits.

Besides, it’s often like this in dramas. Leave the main couple to suffer for a while and drag it out by focusing on other story line.

Same comment here, don’t underestimate the writer. What happened in The Familiar Wife is far crazier and more destructive to the relationship than what has happened here, but just when you think things are over they take an unexpected turn,and some amazing life lessons come out of it all.

Interesting analysis and predictions. If you think double in-laws are out, then you don’t know Yang Hee Seung other works. Double in-laws,are no less taboo than what happened in High School King of Savy

I don’t disagree with a lotmof what you say. I think my point wasn’t that she contradicted him. It’s that she went out of her way to contradict him on a television show, and that’s okay, but she did it in a blunt way in front of a nation, with no attempt to soften it or care as to how it might make him look. A simple “I respect your opinion” or “I see your point,” would have done the trick. To do it how she did it is insensitive and I don’t think she did it out of malice. I just think she doesn’t see it as wrong. If a man put down a woman’s opinion that way on national television, people wouldn’t be saying “it’s okay, he is a strong man,” they’d be saying he was a jerk. I totally agree about the mother. I have no idea what is going on in both son’s heads with her. I couldn’t agree more about the compliments. I think that is the biggest part of the problem in their relationship. She didn’t feel appreciated. If he doesn’t learn the importance of that, they have no hope, even if they do get back together.. The fact she is trying so hard with the director is a bit mystifying to me. Why does she have to try so hard? Why can’t he accept her for who she is? Also, she could have tried that hard with her marriage, yet somehow she sees this new relationship as more worthy of the extra effort. I don’t really get it,.

In a strange way, it is like she is innocent. She seems childlike in the way she seems to have no sense when it comes to how her actions are seen by those close to her. Sure she speaks her mind, and that is good. In a sense, it is what he can learn from her, but she seems to have no idea when she is being insensitive, even as she herself is tremendously sensitive about some things. Also, in some ways, he cannot he blamed for not communicating when attempts to communicate displeasure come off as nagging to her.

I don’t disagree in general, but she brought up divorce because he blamed her for the miscarriage. Something she even told her mother she was to blame for. An inability to accept blame when at fault is a massive relationship problem. How could he ever trust her to be pregnant again, if he has no assurance that she won’t just overwork again and cause another miscarriage. Being strong is not her problem, it is what makes her admirable. An inability to admit your mistakes Is a flaw. Not being able to see that publicly contradicting your mate’s medical opinion is tantamount to publicly shaming him, is a huge fault, whether for a woman or a man. Yet she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it. That is not being strong, it is being insensitive and any man would be excoriated for that kind of behavior toward a woman.

I have a different take on what may happen. I think Song NaHee is in for a very rough time. She and the director are a terrible match. They are too much alike, in ways that will cause conflict. He will be nowhere near as tolerant of being humiliated by having his medical opinion contradicted publicly, nor of her ignoring his wishes and she may even see his reasonable requests as more nagging. I think cracks will form in their relationship that will ultimately drive them apart. At the same time, I expect Yoon Gyu-Jin is a generally happier person and is more likely to become happier as he gains distance from the relationship and learns to accept her being with the director. We have seen moments of that when he played with the boy. If he begins to seem like the old self she fell in love with, it could lead to a lot of regret on Na-Hee’s part,

For things to resolve she has to see her cold personality as a part of the problem. The director may be a catalyst for that, as well as seeing her ex become happier out of the relationship. He needs to learn to communicate and if she begins to suspect she was a contributor to their unhappiness, it could drive her further away from him (as she thinks she is bad for him.) If that happens, he may be the only one to get her past that, and that may teach him to communicate better. Just a theory, but we have a lot of stuff yet to happen and often where things seem to be going is not where they end up.