Lazell03

This was a good drama, but it drained me😭

It was fun at the beginning but coming to the comment section is exhausting because you really can't say anything slightly negative about a certain aspect of the drama without getting bombarded with how women lived in that era and so on. I think if we have all reached ep 40, we are quite aware of the themes of the drama. It feels like a constant lecture, lol.

Thank you for the clarification, but even with that my earlier point still stands.

I feel like calling it an utopia idea of what society should've been is contradictory and goes against the message directors and writers intended to show and did show. They dedicated many episodes to showing us how that system impacted all women- nobles, slaves, commoners. The drama established real barries for women, such as being bound to their husband's or sons, they couldn't participate in exams, they couldn't buy a house without a man, etc, and so having those barriers laid out, it doesn't make sense for the very modern ideas or behaviour of the fl to have no pushback or even personal consequences. If I understood correctly, SceneStealer they are not stating that they are against female empowerment; its that the empowerment would feel more powerful if the era they are in put more of a fight against said empowerment.

That is the beauty of the show. I also can't wait for her to air in a drama as a lead. She did very well.

Yeah... I think the "against the current" part is talking about the system they are in as women. That's why many women different women were shown; the noble ones, the maids, the commoners, etc. We saw how the system impacts their lives and how they want to fight against it essentially. Even in the latest episode where the first madam, the one that was married to the ml said in her next life she just wants to be herself, not bound to her husband or son. That's the current the drama has shown multiple times. Women fighting to be seen.

I can understand wanting revenge after seeing that. I think most of us thought that would be the direction at some point, but the you also have to take the era of the drama into consideration. This is a time where woman couldn't work in any official capacity, they couldn't take the imperial exam. With that in mind, how was she supposed to get close to the ministers, much less the emperor when she can't even reach where they are because she is a woman.

That sounds nice and all, but she would be going against the emperor. Who actually already died. It's not possible unless she is willing to put her life, her adopted parents and the lin family's life's on the line.

The royal family? How is she going to do that, lol?

It's so uncomfortable. That's why they can't fumble their romantic progression because they will eventually have kids. I don't want to see people (I will still watch because it's a good drama, hehe) have kids out of duty.

I think what the writers are trying to do through the romance is show how arranged marriages were for woman in terms of falling in love. They did push a lot of boundaries with making ml get an imperial decree, but besides that they are maybe trying to show how these people would fall in love. Sort of like if the ml and fl got married in the beginning their relationship would've been like this. Respect, getting to know each other and fall in love slowly. What do you think?

I agree with everything you said.

I want to clarify that I absolutely love this drama, but this is also my gripe with it. I think in the earlier episodes someone mentioned how there are a lack of flashbacks to her past. It wouldve been helpful to at least shed light on how she just seems to know everything. My biggest gripe is the writing for the romance because these are two characters that are supposed to have children at some point. How are we going to reach that point without it feeling uncomfortable for viewers since the fl is so cold? I don't have a problem with her coldness. I am just worried about the progression of their romantic relationship.

Oh yeah! That slipped my mind. I think this will also be addressed in great detail when her past is brought to the surface.

Exactly!! This was the only way she would face the past which she has been running from. She faced a great deal of trauma; that would absolutely change any person.

That makes a lot of sense. I think that's what the writers are gearing towards. They have put the ml in such an impossible situation, right? Like you said the drama is drawing a lot of parallels. Her being forced to marry her previous fiance, her eating the pastry with their family name on it when in the past she faced that similar situation, to him drugging her, to then bringing her back to the her old house. We saw he wanted to warn them but his grandfather stopped him. The two characters are very much intertwined. I saw an earlier comment that said the fl just buried her trauma and never healed from it, so I guess she needs to confront he trauma so she can find actual healing and they are doing it using the ml in a very cruel way. I guess so that they can grow together. Him growing out of his privilege and stop seeing people as things he can control and the fl healing from her trauma. I saw an earlier comment that said they feel like they are using the fl to sort of fix the ml. I feel like that's an oversimplification of how people heal each other in the real world and by extension in this drama. A person doesn't have to directly fix someone for them to change their ways; being in their presence, observing how they navigate situations, etc are also ways a person can be "fixed". The writing in this drama is too rich to use the fl fixing ml route.

You know I saw some theories in the comments where people are speculating that he may have been the one that buried her family. If that is a valid theory, the only thing that make sense to me is if he knew its their house, which now makes sense based on what you said. He mightve bought it to preserve it, or something along those lines. What do you think?

I do feel it's cruel on part of the writers to make the ml unintentionally cause the fl such immense pain. I mean how convenient that out of all the houses in the capital that the ml could've lived at it had to be her old home. It's like they want us to dislike the ml and they have succeeded seeing as how people despise him.

Exactly! It’s completely fair and correct that characters are held accountable for the things they have have because when it's all said and done he caused immense harm to the fl. There is no need to minimize that since it would be unfair to the fl. But what makes discussions around so interesting is seeing where viewers to draw the line and why some characters are given grace.
​Whats interesting is and someone in the comments pointed this out is how we have watched dramas where our MLs have crossed extreme boundaries from strangulation in Prisoner of Beauty to captivity and coercion in In Pursuit of Jade, or even prolonged lying from xie zheng to the FL about his identity. Viewers still managed to sit with those harmful actions and still recognize the characters as complex, deeply flawed human beings who make selfish mistakes under pressure and ultimately extend grace. Yet here, when Lin Qingqi who we know is a good person that has good relationships with his family members, his fellow soldiers, can do good acts for others blinded by his selfishness makes decisions in his romantic relationship that as we have acknowledged causes real harm to the fl, the space for nuance suddenly disappears and we just throw him into a box and label him as a red or blag flag. What happens to every other good deed that he has done?

​Again this isn't about minimizing anyone’s actions or playing "who was worse". Harm is harm, and none of this is acceptable in real life. It’s about questioning why we rush to reduce characters to rigid "red flag" or "green flag" labels the moment they fail. (And for those of us who watched Prisoner of Beauty or In Pursuit of Jade, we know how much grace was given there.) People are messy, flawed, and capable of both deep affection and selfish mistakes. If we can allow room for that human complexity in other stories, why are we so quick to deny it here?
Also, this discussion is entirely about the ml. I dont want someone to see this and say well what about the fl. The fl has done nothing but be her amazing self so there is nothing to say about her since she hasn't done anything wrong. I hope she continues to give him a hard time, so he learns a real lesson.

Beautifully written! I agree the writers are making him this unlikable because they have a lot of development in store for him. It's not a simple story, so I don't think his growth will be simple as well.