I felt seen.
As someone who went through self-isolation, self-pity and self-hatred multiple times (and unfortunately will keep going through this vicious cycle at least once a year) this drama and the writing made me feel seen and undersood.For someone who hates themselves as much as we do, things like criticizing what we're doing (or not doing), asking us about our plans for future, telling us to just change the way we see the world and other things like that doesn't help at all. and believe me when i say this: no one is harsher on us than we are.
Actually getting yelled at and being called useless is comfortable for us since we are trying to punish ourselves anyways. It's familiar because we tell ourselves the exact same things whenever we are alone with our thoughts, and it's a lot easier than having to face our problems and our selves.
The attention and worry of our loved ones (if we are lucky enough to have people who care about us) becomes a burden and an additional source of stress and anxiety, which we try to avoid as we already have too much on our plate. Hence the isolation.
The invisible barriers that we face, sometimes as simple as getting out of bed yet so difficult to achieve, are not considered real or acknowledged. It's " just all in our heads". Well I guess that statement isn't wrong.
I was lucky enough to be able to go back to a somewhat normal, functional life and I am so grateful for that. And don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that this ... well ... situation ... is in fact an excuse for me that helps me avoid the effort it takes to change myself for the better and face the problems in my life. But it doesn't make it any easier to overcome.
What helped me was in fact one friend. Just one friend who undertood what I was going through because she was going through the same thing. What I felt watching this drama, specially when we see what Mi-Jae went through in her room, gave me the familiar feeling of when i was venting to that one friend. This is why this drama is special for me.
The acting is great. The whole cast did a great job, specially the main leads. However in my opinion Kim Sun-Young who played the role of male lead's mother is the actress who shines the brightest. Her performance in episode 11 is unforgettable and truly great. I hope all the best for her.
I do want to mention this was not a comfortable or easy watch for me. I tend to start dramas after they are finished, but I still had to go back and forth between this drama and other, more lighthearted dramas.
Thanks for reading this long review.
If you are going through the same problems I did, feel free to hit me up. I do not have a solution, but maybe I can help you the way my friend helped me. I am here if you just open that door.
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