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"Shoot that western ghost!"
I was really looking forward to hopping vampires in Doctor Vampire but had to settle for Western vampires. A virginal doctor’s car breaks down in the UK and an isolated castle in the woods turns out to be a den of vampires “entertaining” their guests with their extra-long incisors!
Dr. Chiang Ta Tsung’s car breaks down on the way to the airport in the UK. He stumbles upon a castle where he hopes to use the phone. Instead, his soda is drugged and he ends up in bed with a gorgeous Chinese vampire who bites him in a very private place. When Chiang returns to Hong Kong, he’s thrilled to no longer be a virgin, something he can’t tell his virgin girlfriend May. Slowly, he notices changes in himself-an aversion to garlic and bright light, a desire for black clothes with a cape, and telekinetic abilities. Alice, the European vamp, shows up and tells him what he needs to do to not become a vampire permanently. The biggest problem the two will face is that the Count who is the head vampire, so enjoyed Chiang’s blood that he’s coming to Hong Kong for more than a taste!
Dr. Chiang had two buddies who were reticent at first about his changes but then jumped onboard and helped with whatever he needed. Regardless of how much they broke their Hippocratic oath. How did these three bozos become surgeons? Side note, the operating scenes were abysmal. Girlfriend May’s roomie Joy kept her friend off-guard always spying and gossiping. Speaking of which, when entertaining a lady vampire across the hall from a girlfriend and gossipy friend, probably best to close the blinds so they can’t see what’s going on.
The film attempted to be a funny sex-tinged romp. A vampire with an enormous erection! Who tried to rape all the nurses in the hospital. Yeah, very funny. Homophobic jokes. Also, hilarious. Not. Doctor Vampire had some stupid funny moments, but many were painfully unfunny and didn’t age well. Where do they find people with really dried out, bad bleached blonde hair and/or wigs? Is that what the filmmakers think Europeans look like? The Count’s wig and makeup actually were clown like and hilarious. Once he showed up things became more interesting. Prolific writer Ni Kuang had a small role as a Taoist priest which was a fun cameo. I loved that they tied the Chinese Opera into the big fight. Never spit on or toss around a Buddha statue!
Doctor Vampire was low budget with low tech special effects and often the story didn’t make sense. Chiang was not going to be voted boyfriend of the year juggling a sexy female vampire and his long-time girlfriend. Nor was he a doctor any sane person would go to. If you enjoy old Hong Kong vampire comedies you might want to try this. For me, it thankfully wasn't long. Hopping vampires might have helped.
23 October 2026
Trigger warnings: Infidelity. The first time could be chalked up to a drugged drink. The next time he was stone cold sober. A huge male erection used as a long running gag. Attempted SA. Homophobic jokes. If you are in the medical field and choose to watch this, don’t have any heavy objects nearby that you can throw at the screen.
Dr. Chiang Ta Tsung’s car breaks down on the way to the airport in the UK. He stumbles upon a castle where he hopes to use the phone. Instead, his soda is drugged and he ends up in bed with a gorgeous Chinese vampire who bites him in a very private place. When Chiang returns to Hong Kong, he’s thrilled to no longer be a virgin, something he can’t tell his virgin girlfriend May. Slowly, he notices changes in himself-an aversion to garlic and bright light, a desire for black clothes with a cape, and telekinetic abilities. Alice, the European vamp, shows up and tells him what he needs to do to not become a vampire permanently. The biggest problem the two will face is that the Count who is the head vampire, so enjoyed Chiang’s blood that he’s coming to Hong Kong for more than a taste!
Dr. Chiang had two buddies who were reticent at first about his changes but then jumped onboard and helped with whatever he needed. Regardless of how much they broke their Hippocratic oath. How did these three bozos become surgeons? Side note, the operating scenes were abysmal. Girlfriend May’s roomie Joy kept her friend off-guard always spying and gossiping. Speaking of which, when entertaining a lady vampire across the hall from a girlfriend and gossipy friend, probably best to close the blinds so they can’t see what’s going on.
The film attempted to be a funny sex-tinged romp. A vampire with an enormous erection! Who tried to rape all the nurses in the hospital. Yeah, very funny. Homophobic jokes. Also, hilarious. Not. Doctor Vampire had some stupid funny moments, but many were painfully unfunny and didn’t age well. Where do they find people with really dried out, bad bleached blonde hair and/or wigs? Is that what the filmmakers think Europeans look like? The Count’s wig and makeup actually were clown like and hilarious. Once he showed up things became more interesting. Prolific writer Ni Kuang had a small role as a Taoist priest which was a fun cameo. I loved that they tied the Chinese Opera into the big fight. Never spit on or toss around a Buddha statue!
Doctor Vampire was low budget with low tech special effects and often the story didn’t make sense. Chiang was not going to be voted boyfriend of the year juggling a sexy female vampire and his long-time girlfriend. Nor was he a doctor any sane person would go to. If you enjoy old Hong Kong vampire comedies you might want to try this. For me, it thankfully wasn't long. Hopping vampires might have helped.
23 October 2026
Trigger warnings: Infidelity. The first time could be chalked up to a drugged drink. The next time he was stone cold sober. A huge male erection used as a long running gag. Attempted SA. Homophobic jokes. If you are in the medical field and choose to watch this, don’t have any heavy objects nearby that you can throw at the screen.
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