UnaSpenser

This is a story of the fallout from a case of brutal domestic abuse.

First, the intense scene which is the catalyst for the entire story:

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A wife - mother of a young daughter - is being abused by her husband. His violence has been escalating. The wife won't leave him, though her sister has been imploring her to.

The sister enters a scene where she witnesses the husband punching the wife in the face, repeatedly. Her entire face is bruised and swollen. She's clinging to his leg, begging for mercy. The sister intuitively charges in to stop him. He then turns on the sister. He is declaring that he's going to kill her. He's about to take an iron to her head, when the wife pushes him over a bannister. He isn't really hurt from it, but now he's even more enraged. The two women try running away, but he chases after them. They get in the car, intending to drive away. They are thwarted, because the car is behind a garage door which must be manually opened. He has come after them with a golf club. He's bashing the car windows and screaming that he'll kill them. In the midst of all this trauma and chaos, the sister accidentally hits the gas pedal at the wrong moment and rams the man into the garage door, killing him.

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Up to this point, we have an all too realistic depiction of a choatic scene of deadly domestic abuse. Kudos to the actors for such a terrifyingly good job. It was hard to watch.

But what ensues is both baffling and socially irresponsible writing.

Without skipping a beat, the wife pulls herself together, tells her sister to leave the scene, to go have a normal, happy life and to raise the couple's teenage daughter. She has the sensibility to clean all of her sister's fingerprints off of the car and proceed to call the police and get arrested for murder. Murder. For which she is sentenced 7 years in prison.

The wife/mother then proceed to cut her daughter out of her life. So, the daughter lives thinking that her mother killed her father and then abandoned her. It will be 10 years before the sisters tell her what happened.

Meanwhile, the sister leads a miserable life. She feels guilty and punishes herself.

Some of this would be somewhat understandable as the fallout, but there is a glaring omission from this storytelling: the wife was so clearly battered when she was arrested. Even if, somehow, the courts would not recognize that she was the victim of longstanding abuse, they could see that she was seriously injured. That this might be a case of self-defense. But, not once, in the entire damned story do those words get uttered.

WTAF?!

Nowhere in the story is the subject of trauma, therapy, recovery ever mentioned. The wife does say to her sister that the man deserved what he got, when she realized that her sister has been drowning in guilt (though really she has been drowning in PTSD.)

When the aunt can't stand the silence any longer, she writes her story. She can't apparently face her niece, so she has a third party give her the story. The niece never reads the entire thing. She sees that her aunt killed her dad and she's just angry.

Some of that anger makes sense as a first response to realizing that her mom and aunt had deceived her all this time. It would also make sense if she hadn't understood that her father was violently abusive. However, she says to her mom, "I know why you hated him. I didn't like him much myself. But, he was my father." And for the rest of the story, she holds it like this: that her aunt killed her father. Not once does she acknowledge that her aunt acted in self-defense. Or that her father would have killed her mother eventually.

In some supposedly noble moment, she doesn't want the aunt to turn herself in as the actual murdered. But, in reality, its a selfish moment of not wanting the public spotlight on herself again. She still hates the aunt. Ultimately, the aunt is so wracked with guilt and so unable to face her niece and her sister that she leaves. Its literally written as "she's going far away". She disappears from their lives, with untreated glaucoma, from which one eye is already blinded.

After the sister leaves and the daughter spends some time away from her hometown, we're given a warmhearted ending where everyone, except the disappeared aunt, goes on to live happy lives.

And I hate all of them. The aunt is the biggest victim in this story, but the writers make her out to be a perpetrator. Even as they are trying to claim some compassion for the aunt, they are leaving the audience with the perception that it is the correct thing to see her as a killer who deserves punishment, rather than as a survivor, who is living with PTSD after a deadly case of self-defense.

I was in shock that, in this day and age, a domestic abuse case would be presented this way. This drama is being aired via a major media outlet in S Korea and being shown on Netflix and other internet streaming sites. They know thay have a massive audience. A massive audience of women and young people. Yet, they are not even going to introduce the words "self-defense" or the concept of justifiable homicide? They aren't going to mention trauma? PTSD? psychotherapy?

This victim-blaming isn't one-off in this story, either. The daughter has a friend who betrayed her in such a way that led to bullying and extreme ostracization in school. It drove her to an attempted suicide. Yet, 10 years later, the friend - who had a delusional notion about the daughter having tried to "seduce" the boy she was interested in (who had no interest at all in her) - is presented as the victim of the daughter's hate. There is a bit of explaining that the daughter was reasonable to end their friendship because it was such a horrific breach of trust. The friend, even 10 years later is manipulative and conniving and (lamely) attempts to seduce the daughter's current boyfriend in some kind of retaliation. Still, the writers push the daughter character through some contortionist thinking, such that she believes that maybe she's been too harsh on the friend and that it would be okay to reestablish the friendship.

This is their definition of forgiveness: victims forgiving and/or retroactively rehabilitating the nature of their perpetrators. (The sister claims she has dreams remembering all the ways in which her brother-in-law had been nice to her. And this is why she feels guilty for killing him. She doesn't have nightmares of the fight for her life.)

I want to smack this writer in the face and demand that they be blacklisted for such socially irresponsible writing. It has taken so long to get laws in place to protect victims of abuse and recognize that when they kill their abuser its an act of defense; that they are sufferers of cPTSD and need care and are not culpable as criminals. This story sets the clock back on that realization and paints self-defense as a crime and has everyone treat a traumatized victim as guilty of "killing a family member." A daughter who know her father was violently abusive does not hold him responsible for the outcome of his own behavior and sets all her hatred on someone he tried to kill.

This is a huge setback for victims' and women's rights. Portrayals like this should never be told, any longer. They never should have been offered in the first place. Its a tool of misogynist patriarchy to present this subject matter in this manner.

I'll be checking who the writer is from now on and boycotting this writer. I hope others do the same.

WTF?! Rarely do I get thus pissed off by a story. The irresponsibility of writing this subject matter in this way has me seething. This is not a story which should be shared. I'll explain in a reply marked as spoiler. CN: domestic abuse, unattended trauma, and victim-blaming.

Quirky and sweet, making great use of minimalist production. Well worth a watch.

I’m only at ep 7. Mostly enjoying it and how well it has set up the viewer to be wondering who is really who and what is each person’s real agenda.

The acting is all pretty good. The make lead does very well with the layers of emotionality that he has to control.

The glaring weakness is how the FL character is written. She’s the personal guard of the emperor and it’s not clear that she can actually win a sword fight. She’s so bad at being stealthy that she gets caught when eavesdropping. She’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, so she doesn’t naturally pick up on what’s going on, thus messing things up for the emperor, repeatedly. So, how does she qualify for the job? Much less being promoted to lead his entire team of guards and his secret army?

The actress is fine. It’s the way the character is developed. It makes no sense. It’s so farcical that it distracts from what’s going on, at times.

I’m going to stick with it (hoping this aspect improves) because the chess game of it all seems well-executed, for now.

But, why do Chinese writers have such a hard time writing solid female characters who seem realistic in the role and setting they are in?

Only if you define “strong independent” as being influenced by anything anyone around her has to say.

Agreed. By episode 13, I hate her and want something better for Yuan Song.

Just no. I wanted to like this, but, at episode 13, I can’t take it any longer.

The FL becomes completely unlikable. She’s rude, dismissive, inconsiderate, disrespectful and patronizing to the man who is supposed to be her bf. It becomes unbelievable that he would even like her, any longer. On top of everything else, she becomes a liar. It’s one thing to be conflicted, but she’s never honest or open. There is no bond or trust developing. She’s supposed to be the mature one - and is apparently very mature and competent at work - but she’s got the most toxic approach to her private life. Is she a split personality? Get her some mental health care, stat! The supposed naïveté isn’t cute, it’s unrealistically toxic.

She spends more time with the manipulative guy she supposedly rejected than the guy she decided to [secretly] date. (Ugh) Just date the reject, already, and stop torturing the one you’re supposed to be dating.

The 2ML is a conniving stalker. The actor is great at the comedy, but the character, as written, is despicable, so, it’s not funny.

The other good comedic performance is by the actress playing the niece. But, a completely stupid and shallow girl is also not funny. How does she even manage to brush her teeth?

But, when the uncle and niece are together, it is, admittedly hilarious, if you ignore the context. It’s just that the story they are tasked with carrying is gross.

I can’t imagine what could fill another 27 episodes. If there is that much of this to go through, I wish the ML a better life. I’m over here hoping that another character shows up and is a more caring, respectful partner that he deserves and he heads off into the sunset with them.

But, I won’t find out, because I’m heading off into the sunset without this horrible drama.

Thank goodness there is not romance in this. Because that would have to involve the FL and the character is so stupid, it’s embarrassing. If they were not going to make her interesting or sharp, it would have been preferable to just be a quiet owner of the Internet cafe. Being a daft and ridiculous fan girl doesn’t match with being a business owner. Did her dad leave her a fortune? How is she keeping that business alive if she’s so dumb? The story is an okay sort of inspirational tale, but it’s distracting how poorly written that character is.

Also, I get that China is producing a lot of dramas about esports and maybe it’s just not my drama. But, how is watching long animated scenes of a fake video game that no one is actually playing. engaging? I skip to the end of the end, just to catch any plot pint being made, but they lack any real suspense or excitement.

Wow. That was simply lovely from beginning to end.

So refreshing to have characters with normal range of emotions. Functioning adults and families. Supportive co-workers and friends. Facing realistic challenges based in the characters’ situations. Even having the fan base be respectful and supportive was such a nice touch.

All the acting felt natural. It was engaging from beginning to end, even as it presented a relatively mundane life compared to the melodrama we usually see.

Well worth watching and suggesting for other writers to emulate this kind of story which is closer to realism and offers people examples of how to navigate relations and work life in a functional way. So glad I was pointed to this.

I read the book and watched the drama. Also felt that the drama was more romantic. By removing the titillating aspects it became about growing into soulmates and overcoming so many obstacles within themselves and from the world to be able to live that truth.

That scene in the cave is so precious. The headband. The song. The panic. LWJ, who has been trained from birth to never express anything, sought moments to overcome his anxiety and send signals to WWX several times. I was so impressed with how well Wang Yibo played that role. The subtlety he had to manage required some depth of human understanding that we rarely see from someone so young.

There a few nods to wedding rituals. They pretty much do a handfasting happens in the secret cave in the Cloud Recesses (where the rabbit are.)

I found that, over time, you see them get more and more comfortable with each other and the chemistry builds. It’s sweet, slow burn type of relationship, built on trust and gradual bonding.

I also wanted to see him in another role. I enjoyed his performance here. A good balance of youthful playfulness and being mature behind his years. It was nice to see him as a more natural character. Looking forward to seeing how he grows as an actor.

I don’t usually enjoy CDramas in a contemporary setting, particularly when it centers around an office or business stuff. Reasons….

But, this was engaging. A lot more realistic than usual. In the beginning, when the FL is dealing with the misogynist BF who puts on a display of “romantic” and then sabotages her career when she rejects him, it was hard for me to watch. Hard because I have experienced it, almost exactly. It hit me right in the gut. And the way the men constantly try to undermine her simply because she’s a woman showing them up. Ugh. Way too familiar.

Some refreshing things about how the FL was written: she sticks to her convictions, very consistently; she is multi-dimensional with personal interests outside of her job; there is more to her personality than the “hard-nosed business woman” who has become heartless; she’s great with personal boundaries; once she makes a decision, she goes all in, no wavering.

Refreshing things about the ML - he’s patient and never crosses any inappropriate lines. He appreciates who his love interest is, as a person, and respects her way of being. He never once implores her to change or imposes his feelings upon her; he is perfectly comfortable being in the support role for a woman, while also maintaining his own ambitions. (A great example of how it’s not either/or, it’s both/and.)

There are other aspects that I appreciated and some that I didn’t so much, but, the very well-paced development of the central relationship and the way the lead characters approached everything made for a thoroughly enjoyable story. One that I’d tell my daughter to watch as a good example of generating a mutually respectful and trusting partnership. And that’s rare. So many of these dramas present absolute trash as “romance”. This is worth it just for that.

Omg, the basement scene! It’s a police building. Send people from the next room! Plus, How did Hyuk get there before people who were in the same building?

This drama was made for heckling.

I’m struggling to finish it. I can’t even begin to note all the stupidity, inconsistencies, poorly written dialogue, and bad acting. Plus, Voice has a FL with a very annoying voice.

I wanted to watch it because I can’t think of another Korean drama that got 4 seasons. I wanted to see what the phenomenon was.

I’ve concluded that the phenomenon is that the viewer is tortured as though we’re another victim of the psycho killer.

Also, the FL lacks the ability to show gravitas. She just speeds up her speaking pace to sound “serious”, but it feels like when a child tries to be serious and everybody gets a laugh out of it. I saw her in something else and didn’t think she was this bad. What the heck happened here?

Every single thing was so unrealistic, illogical and overly-contrived. The dialogue was stilted and trite. Why was it always preaching at the viewer? There was really nothing in this story to engage a viewer and have them wanting to come back to see where it was going. I find it hard to believe that professionals got paid to write this.

Best part of My Dear Guardian.

That’s not really true. He knew she loved Chu Che and he took the excuse of peace between nations to ask the king to hand her over to him. While he wasn’t directly involved in how it went down, he knew that she was being forced against her will.

Then, he’s just creepy, being happy that she’s with him, without caring at all that she’s miserable. She was a possession and the one woman who was hard to get. I mean, at least he didn’t rape her (though he tried once) and, yes, to keep her at his side, he was willing to adopt the baby. So, he wasn’t a total monster, but he was a creep. He makes my skin crawl every time he smiles when she’s clearly so unhappy.

I was kinda liking the slow burn relationship build up. But, then, all of a sudden, it goes from nothing to marriage talk.

I’m may be stopping at episode 11, as I found it infuriating that the FL would use such a manipulative tactic. He agrees to her request in order to stop her suicide. But, if I were him, I’d then say, “Ok. I made the promise you asked for a and that’s the end of our relationship, because I can’t be held hostage to this kind of manipulation. End of story.”