This review may contain spoilers
I've never been happier that I was wrong about a series
Needless to say, if you choose to approach this series with a lens focused on 'what-you-see-is-what-you-get' characters with a plot-driven narrative, take a step back and adjust before continuing on. This series isn't intense, overdramatic, or overly romanticized. It's an extremely 'human' story with flawed characters learning to navigate life together.
Before I get into more detail, I'm going to be honest - this one was actually pretty difficult for me to get into at first. I'm not the biggest fan of the trope where one character, seemingly childish by nature, is obsessed or a fan of the stoic unemotional one. Admittedly, I assumed that these characters were ONLY that - 2-dimensional and used as devices to play up the comedy and nothing more. However, with everyone raving about it, I decided to rewatch the first few episodes along with a few reactors I adore to get additional perspectives. As more episodes came out, I found myself pleasantly surprised by the characters' natural growth towards each other within their relationship. And as we learned more about the characters, I began to see that the "hollow" personalities I judged them for were, in fact, deep reflections of their inner wounds and anxieties. What I thought was going to be mindless slop ended up be subject to one of my favorite character studies this year.
QIN'S TRAUMA --
Okay, here's where my headspace was at the start - I have become so desensitized to the BL-series trope where they make it known Episode 1 that the main character, typically the 'sunshine' character has trauma, and that inadvertently leads the emotionally-stoic character to begin to have feelings for them. So I just assumed that Duang was going to be the character with the trauma. However, the writers and Por did such a great job at naturally sprinkling in little hints of Qin's trauma affecting his everyday life, that I almost didn't even notice. Once we witnessed his first 'flashback', I paused the episode and found myself rethinking everything I thought I knew about his character. I remember saying out loud "Ohhhhh. Wait. This makes sense. I was so wrong."
I'm not sure if other people also felt this way, but I feel like the writers intentionally had us learn about Qin's traumas and fears whenever Duang learned about them: naturally and honestly. Childhood trauma seeps into our everyday life, subconsciously controlling every decision, confrontation, and defense mechanism we have. Even though we didn't know exactly what Qin experienced until later in the series, it allowed us into his mind for a split second as he experienced a trigger. This completely changed how I looked at Qin's character in the following episodes. I analyzed everything he did through the lens of someone deeply wounded and deeply guarded. Por did such a great job portraying the layers of a character that cannot express how he feels to those around him - you can even see Qin's physical response to wanting to tell Duang how he feels but is too deeply afraid to feel anything at all to tell him. It was such a phenomenal and accurate depiction of trauma in the everyday life. Well done writers and well done Por.
DUANG --
I also assumed this character was 2-dimensional going into the series. I'm so happy I was wrong. Duang is one of the best examples of trope-diversion where the 'sunshine' character is NOT a naive/innocent damsel in distress needing protection, but instead is so emotionally grounded that he provides the security needed for Qin to open up. Yes, Duang may feel everything 10x more than everyone else and may come across immature (which, I admit, I judged him unfairly to be early on), when, in fact, he's the most emotionally intelligent character on the show. While his crush on Qin started out semi-obsessive, it turned into care and the desire to take care of him. Duang, while often over-the-top around Qin, understood the importance of restraint and when to hold back to allow Qin room to express himself as well. Some of my favorite moments were when Duang could tell when Qin needed someone soft spoken and calm to listen to him and create a safe space for him to feel emotions he wasn't comfortable with expressing yet. He anticipates Qin's needs and meets him where he's at rather than expecting him to fulfill some idea of what a perfect boyfriend should be.
Watching the last few episodes, I found myself tearing up at the sheer care and patience they have for each other, and I'm honestly in awe at how much Duang helped Qin become a better version of himself. It's incredibly heartwarming and makes their relationship 100% believable.
And I need to applaud TeeTee for a sec (since a lot of this review is focused on Por); he did an AMAZING job at showing these two sides of Duang while still making it feel like both are Duang, which is hard to do. I think the trick that he really leaned into was to make Duang so unbelievably earnest that it makes EVERY aspect of his personality that much more believable. I don't think many actors could pull off a character with equal parts stimming chaos and equal parts emotionally calming.
QIN'S PARENTS --
Okay, touchy subject here that many may not agree with, but I think these are some of the most realistic parents portrayed in a BL so far. Let me explain. I feel like in BL's parents are either amazing, perfect, and kind parents OR unsupportive or emotionally/physically abusive. Here, they're loving, but human. We can tell they love Qin, but they also have deep-rooted guilt and a LOT of shame surrounding what happened to Qin as a child, ultimately leading to Qin's emotional neglect. While I don’t agree with their choices, I get it. Sometimes, out of fear and shame, we hide traumatic memories in an effort to not feel them again or hurt the ones we love. HOWEVER, this only strengthens whatever pain the affected parties feel. Even the scene where Qin finally confronts his parents felt so accurate. They didn't get it at first, and you could see the instinctive push-back they had towards Qin calling them out. Their deflection was out of a place of deep shame. But it wasn't until he broke down in front of them that they finally allowed themselves to see how they affected him. I both hated and absolutely loved that scene. So while I hate that they took this route to protect themselves first, I get it. They're human and flawed.
I was lucky enough to have parents that emphasized communication above everything else. But even though I never doubted their love for me, they also made mistakes that I still see the side effects of in my everyday life. Parents are living for the first time, too. They're going to do things wrong and hopefully, when confronted, they'll see how they need to improve to better the lives of those around them. I really appreciate how the writers took their time for us to see both the love and the neglect the parents displayed and how that affected Qin.
It was heartbreaking and refreshing and raw; utterly human.
CLOSING THOUGHTS --
Needless to say, I went on a journey with this one. I went into it with previous pre-conceived understandings of what I judged as a typical BL show, and I came out with a gentle appreciation for humanity, flaws and all. I'm so glad I was wrong. Was it an out-of-this-world, astounding series? Probably not. Was the plot a thrilling adventure with plot twists around every corner? Not at all. It was simply a story of a group of people navigating life together while learning about each other and themselves along the way. Like the director himself stated, this series, much like humanity, is "not the best, but still good." We aren't perfect, but we try. And that's good enough for me.
Before I get into more detail, I'm going to be honest - this one was actually pretty difficult for me to get into at first. I'm not the biggest fan of the trope where one character, seemingly childish by nature, is obsessed or a fan of the stoic unemotional one. Admittedly, I assumed that these characters were ONLY that - 2-dimensional and used as devices to play up the comedy and nothing more. However, with everyone raving about it, I decided to rewatch the first few episodes along with a few reactors I adore to get additional perspectives. As more episodes came out, I found myself pleasantly surprised by the characters' natural growth towards each other within their relationship. And as we learned more about the characters, I began to see that the "hollow" personalities I judged them for were, in fact, deep reflections of their inner wounds and anxieties. What I thought was going to be mindless slop ended up be subject to one of my favorite character studies this year.
QIN'S TRAUMA --
Okay, here's where my headspace was at the start - I have become so desensitized to the BL-series trope where they make it known Episode 1 that the main character, typically the 'sunshine' character has trauma, and that inadvertently leads the emotionally-stoic character to begin to have feelings for them. So I just assumed that Duang was going to be the character with the trauma. However, the writers and Por did such a great job at naturally sprinkling in little hints of Qin's trauma affecting his everyday life, that I almost didn't even notice. Once we witnessed his first 'flashback', I paused the episode and found myself rethinking everything I thought I knew about his character. I remember saying out loud "Ohhhhh. Wait. This makes sense. I was so wrong."
I'm not sure if other people also felt this way, but I feel like the writers intentionally had us learn about Qin's traumas and fears whenever Duang learned about them: naturally and honestly. Childhood trauma seeps into our everyday life, subconsciously controlling every decision, confrontation, and defense mechanism we have. Even though we didn't know exactly what Qin experienced until later in the series, it allowed us into his mind for a split second as he experienced a trigger. This completely changed how I looked at Qin's character in the following episodes. I analyzed everything he did through the lens of someone deeply wounded and deeply guarded. Por did such a great job portraying the layers of a character that cannot express how he feels to those around him - you can even see Qin's physical response to wanting to tell Duang how he feels but is too deeply afraid to feel anything at all to tell him. It was such a phenomenal and accurate depiction of trauma in the everyday life. Well done writers and well done Por.
DUANG --
I also assumed this character was 2-dimensional going into the series. I'm so happy I was wrong. Duang is one of the best examples of trope-diversion where the 'sunshine' character is NOT a naive/innocent damsel in distress needing protection, but instead is so emotionally grounded that he provides the security needed for Qin to open up. Yes, Duang may feel everything 10x more than everyone else and may come across immature (which, I admit, I judged him unfairly to be early on), when, in fact, he's the most emotionally intelligent character on the show. While his crush on Qin started out semi-obsessive, it turned into care and the desire to take care of him. Duang, while often over-the-top around Qin, understood the importance of restraint and when to hold back to allow Qin room to express himself as well. Some of my favorite moments were when Duang could tell when Qin needed someone soft spoken and calm to listen to him and create a safe space for him to feel emotions he wasn't comfortable with expressing yet. He anticipates Qin's needs and meets him where he's at rather than expecting him to fulfill some idea of what a perfect boyfriend should be.
Watching the last few episodes, I found myself tearing up at the sheer care and patience they have for each other, and I'm honestly in awe at how much Duang helped Qin become a better version of himself. It's incredibly heartwarming and makes their relationship 100% believable.
And I need to applaud TeeTee for a sec (since a lot of this review is focused on Por); he did an AMAZING job at showing these two sides of Duang while still making it feel like both are Duang, which is hard to do. I think the trick that he really leaned into was to make Duang so unbelievably earnest that it makes EVERY aspect of his personality that much more believable. I don't think many actors could pull off a character with equal parts stimming chaos and equal parts emotionally calming.
QIN'S PARENTS --
Okay, touchy subject here that many may not agree with, but I think these are some of the most realistic parents portrayed in a BL so far. Let me explain. I feel like in BL's parents are either amazing, perfect, and kind parents OR unsupportive or emotionally/physically abusive. Here, they're loving, but human. We can tell they love Qin, but they also have deep-rooted guilt and a LOT of shame surrounding what happened to Qin as a child, ultimately leading to Qin's emotional neglect. While I don’t agree with their choices, I get it. Sometimes, out of fear and shame, we hide traumatic memories in an effort to not feel them again or hurt the ones we love. HOWEVER, this only strengthens whatever pain the affected parties feel. Even the scene where Qin finally confronts his parents felt so accurate. They didn't get it at first, and you could see the instinctive push-back they had towards Qin calling them out. Their deflection was out of a place of deep shame. But it wasn't until he broke down in front of them that they finally allowed themselves to see how they affected him. I both hated and absolutely loved that scene. So while I hate that they took this route to protect themselves first, I get it. They're human and flawed.
I was lucky enough to have parents that emphasized communication above everything else. But even though I never doubted their love for me, they also made mistakes that I still see the side effects of in my everyday life. Parents are living for the first time, too. They're going to do things wrong and hopefully, when confronted, they'll see how they need to improve to better the lives of those around them. I really appreciate how the writers took their time for us to see both the love and the neglect the parents displayed and how that affected Qin.
It was heartbreaking and refreshing and raw; utterly human.
CLOSING THOUGHTS --
Needless to say, I went on a journey with this one. I went into it with previous pre-conceived understandings of what I judged as a typical BL show, and I came out with a gentle appreciation for humanity, flaws and all. I'm so glad I was wrong. Was it an out-of-this-world, astounding series? Probably not. Was the plot a thrilling adventure with plot twists around every corner? Not at all. It was simply a story of a group of people navigating life together while learning about each other and themselves along the way. Like the director himself stated, this series, much like humanity, is "not the best, but still good." We aren't perfect, but we try. And that's good enough for me.
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