Episode 7 ramblings as I watch the episodeNarita Ryo
Action or behaviour is part of personality, but it is just 1 aspect of personality. You can change your behaviour without altering your personality, though if you do it long enough that may bring changes on other aspects that affect your personality such as cognition, emotions etc
Interesting point on Shiro.. the way I saw it, Mitsuki changed her approach towards Shiro by openly communicating, admitting her faults and forcing Shiro to come out of his comfort zone to talk.. that gave Shiro the push to examine his own faults / his own passiveness, and so he started making more effort towards his son because he probably realized that he wants to keep this relationship. I think his behaviour changed, not his personality. We don't know how that would fare in the long term and in his relationship with Mitsuki, because there is an aggression to his personality that was never quite addressed. I didn't really see a different person in Shiro at the end. I just saw a better parent. For me, the takeaway from their relationship wasn't so much about "altering your personality" but more of communicating and looking within to see not just your partner's faults, but your own.
Regarding Otoyan I used the words "appear distant" because I don't think he was actually distant emotionally. He would physically distance himself to give space and more time to think (case in point when he left because he was scared that if they continue thinking it would end badly) but emotionally he was present. He wasn't detached. And because he kept placing that space, I empathized with Ichiko who remained present waiting. And it isn't just about him leaving home, but him engaging in an affair with Mitsuki for over a year while Ichiko watched that day in, day out. Shiro is the person I would call as distant / detached.
Could I ask you to please give me the names of some of the Noona romances you've enjoyed - especially Japanese…
These are the ones I remember at the top of my head.. I'll go check for more and get back to you.
Long Vacation Chugakusei Nikki Love Shuffle I Have to Buy New Shoes Golden Bowl Platonic Tokyo Joshi Zukan Kimi Wa Petto (2003) Otona Joshi Second Virgin Kenja No Ai Laundry
7.5 / 10Despite being formulaic, preachy and idealistic, this was heartwarming and enjoyable enough. That eye…
I wish Mamiya Shotaro and Hirose Suzu were paired together.. I was rooting for them after her confession in the basketball court WASTED POTENTIAL THERE
Episode 7 ramblings as I watch the episodeNarita Ryo
I'm sorry I didn't get a notification for your reply so I just saw it when I came back on this page.
I can see where you're coming from. I think I viewed this drama in a way of looking at their relationship as a whole and seeing it as a action-reaction thing with a problem map in mind, while you're viewing it more personally where you see yourself in Otoyan's shoes. So his POV makes sense to you. And because his POV makes more sense to you, you're able to view Ichiko as the bigger problem in the relationship.
For me, I have never been in a relationship. The only experience I have is that I work with tons of divorce couples and families, so I don't view either POV (of Otoyan / Ichiko) on it's own.. I view it in response to each other, and view it more in terms of trying to spot problem areas of both Otoyan and Ichiko specifically in response to each other.
I completely get Otoyon's psychology as you pointed out of how he feared the rejection and that made him appear distant. But I was viewing it more in terms of how his actions was affecting the relationship. Same with Ichiko. Not so much of their individual psychologies and what led them to be the way they were, but more of how they were acting and reacting in response to each other. Because we can be for instance, very harsh with people in general, but softer towards our partner or someone close to us. We're not always the same with different people, because each person brings out different shades to us.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself well? But I can't take sides on who is more wrong or who is more problematic? I see it as a chicken/egg situation where both of them were at fault (definitely 1 more than another) but I didn't spend time thinking about who is more at fault? Rather my focus was more on - do they want to fix this and how can they fix this. And the answer lies not in the personality because that is hard to change, but more of changing how you can act / react to the other, which they did in the end.
Whats the point of being in marriage that you have to "work through" smh?? Is divorce really that big of a deal…
Some people choose to work on their relationship not because they're scared of divorce but because they really do love their partner.
No relationship / marriage is perfect. The idea of "working through" does not mean the relationship is at a dead end, it's more of the relationship reaching a point where two people probably can't see eye to eye on an issue. It's a matter of 'to each his own' how they chose to respond.
For example, if your partner doesn't want to have sex, you can divorce if that is a deal-breaker. But some people choose not to, and decide other ways to find that excitement or pleasure each other etc because they genuine love their partner, and do not render that one obstacle big enough to invalidate everything they share together. Most relationships have a "working through" stage, unless that person is really blessed to have a hunky-dory relationship.
Also, depending on which country you stay in, divorce can be a big deal. In many countries, divorce is a tough, lengthy process that costs a lot of money and drains you out both psychologically and economically. Not to mention, the judgment that comes from people close to you. In some countries, like The Philipines and the Vatican city, divorce still remains largely illegal.
7.5 / 10 Despite being formulaic, preachy and idealistic, this was heartwarming and enjoyable enough. That eye candy cast of solid actors also made this an easier watch I MEAN LOOK AT ALL OF THEM 😍
Enjoyed the acting, and the fact that the leads loved each other all the way till the end. Other than that, the writing was subpar, sappy and predictable.
3 
8 
1 
1 
1 
Interesting point on Shiro..
the way I saw it, Mitsuki changed her approach towards Shiro by openly communicating, admitting her faults and forcing Shiro to come out of his comfort zone to talk.. that gave Shiro the push to examine his own faults / his own passiveness, and so he started making more effort towards his son because he probably realized that he wants to keep this relationship. I think his behaviour changed, not his personality. We don't know how that would fare in the long term and in his relationship with Mitsuki, because there is an aggression to his personality that was never quite addressed. I didn't really see a different person in Shiro at the end. I just saw a better parent.
For me, the takeaway from their relationship wasn't so much about "altering your personality" but more of communicating and looking within to see not just your partner's faults, but your own.
Regarding Otoyan
I used the words "appear distant" because I don't think he was actually distant emotionally. He would physically distance himself to give space and more time to think (case in point when he left because he was scared that if they continue thinking it would end badly) but emotionally he was present. He wasn't detached. And because he kept placing that space, I empathized with Ichiko who remained present waiting. And it isn't just about him leaving home, but him engaging in an affair with Mitsuki for over a year while Ichiko watched that day in, day out.
Shiro is the person I would call as distant / detached.
Long Vacation
Chugakusei Nikki
Love Shuffle
I Have to Buy New Shoes
Golden Bowl
Platonic
Tokyo Joshi Zukan
Kimi Wa Petto (2003)
Otona Joshi
Second Virgin
Kenja No Ai
Laundry
I just hate exams..
I didn't cry though.. HAHA
Swing Girls
Karakai Jozu no Takagi-san (mini drama)
It's a Summer Film
The Cherry Orchard
Hana and Alice
Water Boys
My Boss, My Hero
WASTED POTENTIAL THERE
I can see where you're coming from. I think I viewed this drama in a way of looking at their relationship as a whole and seeing it as a action-reaction thing with a problem map in mind, while you're viewing it more personally where you see yourself in Otoyan's shoes. So his POV makes sense to you. And because his POV makes more sense to you, you're able to view Ichiko as the bigger problem in the relationship.
For me, I have never been in a relationship. The only experience I have is that I work with tons of divorce couples and families, so I don't view either POV (of Otoyan / Ichiko) on it's own.. I view it in response to each other, and view it more in terms of trying to spot problem areas of both Otoyan and Ichiko specifically in response to each other.
I completely get Otoyon's psychology as you pointed out of how he feared the rejection and that made him appear distant. But I was viewing it more in terms of how his actions was affecting the relationship. Same with Ichiko. Not so much of their individual psychologies and what led them to be the way they were, but more of how they were acting and reacting in response to each other. Because we can be for instance, very harsh with people in general, but softer towards our partner or someone close to us. We're not always the same with different people, because each person brings out different shades to us.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself well? But I can't take sides on who is more wrong or who is more problematic? I see it as a chicken/egg situation where both of them were at fault (definitely 1 more than another) but I didn't spend time thinking about who is more at fault? Rather my focus was more on - do they want to fix this and how can they fix this. And the answer lies not in the personality because that is hard to change, but more of changing how you can act / react to the other, which they did in the end.
I hope I made sense HAHA
No relationship / marriage is perfect. The idea of "working through" does not mean the relationship is at a dead end, it's more of the relationship reaching a point where two people probably can't see eye to eye on an issue. It's a matter of 'to each his own' how they chose to respond.
For example, if your partner doesn't want to have sex, you can divorce if that is a deal-breaker. But some people choose not to, and decide other ways to find that excitement or pleasure each other etc because they genuine love their partner, and do not render that one obstacle big enough to invalidate everything they share together. Most relationships have a "working through" stage, unless that person is really blessed to have a hunky-dory relationship.
Also, depending on which country you stay in, divorce can be a big deal. In many countries, divorce is a tough, lengthy process that costs a lot of money and drains you out both psychologically and economically. Not to mention, the judgment that comes from people close to you.
In some countries, like The Philipines and the Vatican city, divorce still remains largely illegal.
Most J-dramas are subbed and uploaded by fansubbers on that site.
Despite being formulaic, preachy and idealistic, this was heartwarming and enjoyable enough.
That eye candy cast of solid actors also made this an easier watch I MEAN LOOK AT ALL OF THEM 😍
*instantly adds to watchlist*
SIGH I wish he did more Japanese films / TV.
Damn you must be really young HAHA
I keep coming back to this page to see if there are updates on his new projects..