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Moon Young notices that Kang Tae needs to feel loved.

I love how she disguises the meaning of her words.

When she calls Kang Tae a child, he doesn't get it. When she refers to herself as a little child, he still doesn't get it.

But think about her story 'The Boy Who Fed On Nightmares'. The boy never truly grew up because he was unable to face his fears and regrets. That's why he would always be a child.

She's saying that Kang Tae is still a child because he's still searching for love and affection. He hasn't resolved the issues of neglect that he experienced as a child. And that's why he's emotionally trapped.

Moon Young realises that she has not overcome her own demons. We can see that she still experiences sleep paralysis. She still gets teary when Kang Tae points out that she will always be different. She's still processing all this hurt, so she is also a 'child'.

Another phrase that she likes to use is 'having fun'. When she asks Kang Tae to have fun with her, when she points out that Ki Do had fun on stage... I think what she really means is that having fun = being true to yourself, being authentic. She's inviting Kang Tae to come with her and be free without the fear of being judged.

Think of Ki Do's parents, who stowed him away in psychiatric hospital. Ki Do's mum (and dad) wanted to keep him out of the public eye, so no one would know about his lack of intelligence and mental illness. But what did he really need? He needed to show his true self to the world and he needed to feel that his mother loved him.

If you see 'The Zombie Boy' as a story about a mother's loving sacrifice (which I don't think it is anymore), then it also becomes a story about Sang Tae. His mother sacrificed everything so he could be constantly cared for and supported. She even gave birth to a second son to achieve this goal.

And then we have Kang Tae. Where does he fit in? Like the zombie boy, he craved his mother's love. And we see that in all the flashbacks. It's clear that his mother loved Sang Tae more.

She loves Kang Tae because he is useful. He can take care of Sang Tae when she is no longer around.

You can see that Kang Tae was neglected. His mother holds the umbrella over Sang Tae and holds him close, while forgetting that the rain is falling on Kang Tae. She sleeps in the same bed as Sang Tae, while Kang Tae sleeps separately. She gave birth to Kang Tae for the sole reason of caring for Sang Tae after her death.

Today's framing story was 'The Zombie Boy'. I think there are many ways to interpret this story. At first, it reminded me of Shel Silverstein's 'The Giving Tree'. This book explores the idea that parents are willing to give anything, even parts of themselves, to their child to ensure the child's happiness.

But then I remembered that Moon Young definitely does not feel that way about her parents.

The zombie boy is born without emotions. He only knows how to eat and eat. So his mother hides him away, and steals livestock to feed him. When most of the livestock and villagers die, and the remaining villagers leave, she has nothing left to feed him. Except herself. And piece by piece, the mother feeds her body to the boy. But when she gives him one last embrace, the boys says, 'mum, you're so warm.'

The mother must've thought that she was doing the right thing. She kept her son away from society so they would not shun him. So her son would not feel shame, so he would not be ostracised. And she fed him all the time, thinking it was his only need.

But is that all he needed? Did he need food? Or did he need his mother's warmth? That's the question that Moon Young asks. Did the mother need to sacrifice her body? Would it have been enough if she gave her child love? And support? So he could go proudly into society despite being different?

The zombie boy reminds me most of Moon Young, but there are elements of the other characters weaved in.

With Episode 4, we can start to see why the characters are they way they are.

I'm loving the 'safety pin' motif that's running through the episodes, starting in Episode 2. Kang Tae acts as a safety pin that prevents Moon Young's outbursts of emotion. But Moon Young acts as the exact opposite for him. She pulls out the safety pin, helping him release all his pent up emotion. But that's kind of dangerous because he's held in so much for so long. We can see that shiny mask starting to thin and crack.

It's becoming more apparent that Moon Young seems to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder as well as having antisocial personality disorder. When it comes to her interactions with Kang Tae, I think he may be able to help her overcome her trauma. But that doesn't mean anything for her antisocial personality disorder. Kang Tae can't 'understand' Moon Young anymore than he can 'understand' his brother. He can only accept her for who she is, and learn how to navigate her behaviour with mutual respect.

More in the spoilers!

Heyyy ? I totally agree with you about the acting. I've noticed that Kim Soo Hyun, who normally has a baby faced, looks kind of weary and strained in this drama. He's so in character! I even wonder if the make up department has added those fine lines on his face because everything else (aka his body lol) still looks like it did before he went to the military.

Hey there! Thank you for reading it ? this drama is so fab and I hope it gets even better over the next 13 episodes ✨

Near the start of the episode, Kwon Ki Do tells this magnificent story of being in a club, using all his money and running away from the security guards chasing him.

At the end of the episode, we see the same story, but not from Kwon Ki Do's perspective (or as he imagines it). We see the stark reality. He is a mentally ill man who is in a psychiatric hospital.

Even when Kwon Ki Do tries to run, he ends up in the same psychiatric hospital time and time again.

I think in that moment, when Kwon Ki Do runs and tires on the treadmill, Moon Kang Tae realises how similar their stories are. While Kwon Ki Do runs from the hospital only to be sent back when he has a manic episode, Moon Kang Tae ran from his hometown only to return many years later.

In the end, Moon Kang Tae cannot outrun his past or his trauma, just like Kwon Ki Do can't outrun his mental illness and trauma.

This is what Go Moon Young keeps trying to tell him. You can't bury or escape your emotions or your past.

Okay, final thought (I think).

I can't help but think about the 'haunted castle' aka mansion that Go Moon Young grew up in. I love how fairytales are woven into the story. Like her relationships with Moon Kang Tae and the story of the red shoes. Or the story of the Ugly Duckling paralleling Kwon Ki Do's shame and and lack of acceptance in his family.

But doesn't Go Moon Young (who identifies as a witch) almost seem like a princess trapped in an eternal castle? No one ever talks about the trauma that those princesses (like Rapunzel) must've experienced while locked up in those lofty towers. But they would've experienced trauma, right?

It seems like Go Moon Young's parents were abusive. And in flashbacks, we see young Kang Tae giving her flowers while she is stuck behind a gate. Was she physically and emotionally trapped?

Is she paradoxically the witch and the princess in the tower? People who suffer mental illness often talk about being trapped in their own mind. Is she the witch who casts a curse (the cause of her mental illness)? Or is she a cursed princess (someone who must live with this mental illness)?

I could dissect this show all day (clearly).

Episode by episode, the motif of the butterfly becomes more intriguing.

In Episode 1 and 2, we see the butterfly in many scenes. We see young Go Moon Young tearing up butterflies. On one level, we see a 'monster' killing innocent creatures. On another level, we see the manifestation of her mental condition. Is this really so different from burning ants with a magnifying glass?

We see that Moon Sang Tae associates butterflies with his mother's murder. We see it as a source of trauma and perhaps a clue about the killer.

By Episode 3, we know very well that the boys are running from 'butterflies'. This might mean they're running from a killer, but maybe it's also symbolic.

Think about it, running from 'butterflies' might be compared to running from a shadow or a ghost. I don't say this to invalidate the boys' experiences, but maybe running from butterflies might have meaning on a more abstract level.

Kang Tae is as much running from an idea as from a real, cold-blooded killer. He's running from his past, from his hopes, from his dreams, from human closeness.

But returning to the place where the butterflies first appeared, maybe he will need to face all of that. While Sang Tae works with the director to work through his trauma, will Kang Tae work through his?

I've noticed that Go Moon Young is very perceptive. She has a very good understanding of people (and maybe that's what makes her so good at manipulating them).

While her methods are not always the most... socially acceptable... She definitely sees straight through Moon Kang Tae. She doesn't express it in the kindest way (quite the opposite), but she can see that he is repressing his own needs. She can see that while he loves his brother, he actually might not be as selfless as he tries to be (I believe this is why she calls him a hypocrite).

She's always trying to provoke a response from him. I think this is because she sees his deep need to just let go.

And we can see that she's right. When Kang Tae sees Kwon Ki Do dancing on stage, telling the world the truth about his father, about himself, he almost looks teary eyed. He looks deeply affected. Because I think Kang Tae realises that he is being inauthentic to himself. And faced with such a display of Kwan Ki Do's genuine pain turning into liberation (not from mental illness, but from his father's lies), maybe it's a bit hard for Kang Tae to turn away from the beauty of authenticity.

And with lots of professional support along withs support from family and friend, I would add!

To some extent, I feel like this drama is starting to paint a really important picture of neurodiversity.

In Episode 1, we see Moon Sang Tae as someone with autism. Someone who depends on his brother and needs a great deal of care and attention. In Episode 2, we see him trying to develop an expression for the 'emotion' or 'feeling' of being 'cool'. This is a subtle way of showing the challenges that some people on the autism spectrum experience when it comes to interpreting and understanding facial expressions. I think that Moon Kang Tae's reaction to this scene showed us that he cares deeply for his brother, but also understands that his brother sees and experiences the world in a distinct way.

From Episode 2 to Episode 3, we see this picture of Moon Sang Tae expand. He is not afraid of returning to the same city that caused his brother and him so much trauma. (At this point, it is unclear whether it's because he doesn't understand the situation or because he is braver than his brother). Moon Sang Tae has a talent for art. As we already know, he is dedicated to certain hobbies and interests (dinosaurs, picture books and especially those written by Go Moon Young).

And so far, we've had this little joke of the boys asking each other who loves who more. But there's a key moment in Episode 3 - when Moon Sang Tae says that 'people on the autism spectrum see loved ones as strangers.' You can see a dagger piercing Kang Tae's heart.

Sang Tae might be dependent on Kang Tae because he's autistic, but Kang Tae is also deeply dependent on Sang Tae. By making Sang Tae his entire world, he has a reason for running away, for experiencing hardship, for effacing his own desires and hopes. This is incredibly noble, but to what extent does Kang Tae use his brother's condition as an excuse to ignore his own feelings?

When Sang Tae says he's saving up for a caravan so that he and his younger brother can have a home, and Moon Kang Tae can stop experiencing so much hardship from changing jobs to being shouted at by the landlord... Firstly, we realise that Sang Tae has his own goals, but he also has secrets from his brother. He is capable of being empathetic and caring. Rather than infantilising him, the show reveals his, at times, perceptive nature.

The patient in today's episode, Kwon Ki Do, actually highlighted something really important about Moon Kang Tae's choices and personality.

Early on in the episode, he just seems like this rich boy who is having a manic episode, as we only see his perspective (the view of the crazy night at the night club).

But, at the end of the episode (in the snippet), we see the 'real' perspective that Moon Kang Tae sees. A man who has run from the psychiatric hospital, only to return to the same place when he experiences another episode. A man who needed to tell society that he is a person, that he is worthy of love and attention, even though his father ignores and abuses him.

The cyclical nature of the episode (beginning and ending with Kwon Ki Do's story) parallels with Moon Kang Tae's story. He started in this country town, then fled to other cities to escape trauma and a 'butterfly'. But now he's returned. He might be a coward, he might try to run (which he has mentioned is almost comforting), but in the end he needs to face his trauma head-on in the place that he started.

Isn't that what Go Moon Young is trying to say? That he needs to face his fears, desires and trauma head-on? (Maybe not so recklessly as she does, I hope)

Episode 3 was incredibly insightful. I love that the layers are slowly being peeled away to show each character's raw humanity.

We were able to see, to a greater extent, how Go Moon Young's mental illness affects her daily behaviour and interactions with other. We might not agree with her choices, but the show gives us insight into why she can behave recklessly and without sympathy (but not without empathy).

We saw how she's still affected by trauma from her childhood. At the same time, we see her actively choosing to be resilient in the face of her mental illness. While I would personally argue that she is almost unhealthy in her approach, but she chooses to face the truth that many people can't swallow. I think this really stands out in the scenes of her at the hospital - many people prefer to live with fantasy, but she painfully draws out the bitter truth.

I think Episodes 1 + 2 touched on this, but Episode 3 really highlights how Moon Kang Tae represses so many of his own desires and feelings for the sake of his brother. The show starts to ask us - is he doing it for his brother? Or is he doing it out of his own unhealthy dependency and fear? Is he helping his brother, or using him as an excuse?

We continue to see that Moon Sang Tae has his own dreams and desires. His life goals are not as limited as society would have them be.

More commentary in spoilers below.