iunceiun

"I Love 'Some' of You—But Not All"

Wow, what a journey this series was! GMMTV's "I Love 'A Lot' Of You," emphasizes (if not outright shoves down our throats) the importance of sincereity, not only in how we approach others, inform our behaviors, but also in how we view ourselves; every life experience we go through is an opportunity to showcase our true selves unapologetically, no matter how that manifests, no matter the consequences. And while this show shines in the ideology of the message, the meaning of the show is unraveled in its handling of core plotlines, particularly the one surrounding mental health and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

The show is centered around the premise of a woman with 5 different personalities (Mahnmook, Sairung, Storm, Prai-fon, and Fah-Sai) who first meets Sun under the guidance of Sairung's father (while I recognize the complexity of identity, for the purposes of this review, I will refer to Mind's character as Sairung), who wants Sun to "heal" her from her DID. The conversations around DID in the series not only consistently but also explicitly regard DID as a weakness that needs to be healed, which both undercuts the series' main emphasis on sincerity and also advocates a dangerous oversimplification of the condition. The idea that DID can be "overcome" with something as simple as being loved (if that's the case, then why wasn't her father's love enough to "heal" her) and the disregard for the complexity of each personality frankly stunned me. The series tries to circumvent this oversimplification in the end by showing how Sairung still carries a part of each personality, but it doesn't make up for the fundamental contradiction in the show's message; if we are to celebrate each and every part of ourselves to be sincere, then why not celebrate the complexity of ourselves by having Sairung end up balancing all 5 personalities equally? Each personality makes up who Sairung is; Sairung is Sairung because she was made up of 5 different personalities.

So, what this show ultimately ends up doing in this reduction of DID and identity, is it advocates a dangerous caveat to the message of sincerity. It's true that we should strive to be ourselves, but we should only do this when who we are is something to be desired. We should show parts of ourselves to others, but only the parts others can accept, which is an ultimately damaging view of identity and individuality, because if we are meant to pander to the wishes of others, then who and what is our true, authentic self?

This harmful portrayal of identity is further developed in the subplot of Sairung wanting Sun to choose which personality she ultimately ends up choosing once she "heals" from DID, which is ironic because sincerity is something deeply rooted in understanding and knowledge of ourselves, not something others ascribe to us; we cannot be sincere about our feelings and identity if we aren't familiar with the complexity of the wholeness of ourselves, or if someone else tells us who we are. If Sairung, as a character, were fully sincere, then why would she want someone else to choose the person she would continue to live as? Again, the show tries to circumvent this harmful narrative by ultimately having Sairung pick her own personality, but it is precisely the mere inclusion of this subplot in a show that advocates for the importance of authenticity in expressing our individuality that is harmful. So, while this show presents a performative attempt to open the door to more genuine, productive conversations regarding DID and mental health, an issue historically underrepresented in Asian culture and media, I can't help but walk away from this series thinking it has done more harm than good.

I think the premise of the show is a very interesting one, the cast (Mind killed this role!) was amazing, the soundtrack was beautiful, and the production quality was great, however, it is with this fondness of the show that I say there were just so many other aspects of the show that I thought could've been better done, such as with the utter lack of zero secondary character development, De's character being a creep that uses spyware whenever he wants and without others' permission, and the hurried handeling of the Kritsana Real Estate plotline (did we ever truly learn what/how the business was shady?).

In the end, "I Love 'A Lot' Of You" sets itself up to be a heartfelt meditation on sincerity and identity, but ultimately falls apart under the weight of its own contradictions due to its failure to fully embrace the very sincerity it preaches. If you are someone looking for a quick and easy watch, this might be up your alley! But if you're someone looking for a little more depth and "sincerity" than just a surface rom-com, I would suggest you get your fix somewhere else.

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Where Heart Meets Haste

I read the novel of the same name, which made me really excited for this series, as I really loved the premise and the sci-fi elements (although the logic and physics behind the time travel is notably absent). It is only because I loved the novel so much, and want to give it the due diligence it deserves, that I write my review.

While it makes sense length wise to make some changes there were subtle shifts and unexplained plot emissions that left me scrambling to fill in the gaps. Moments that should have been seamless felt disconnected, like when P’Karan finds Kliao in the bathroom (in the novel, Karan is at the same venue meeting a high school friend, which explains how she saw Kliao) or when Kliao walks up to the hospital roof and sees P’Karan. In the novel, P’Karan’s presence always has clear context but the show leaves these beats unexplained, relying on the audience to make assumptions. It doesn’t detract from the narrative in my opinion, and perhaps I am too much o a pragmatist (can we talk about why Kliao leaves the front door open when she enters her home in episode 6?), but it leaves a sense that the writing stumbled and was unbalanced at times, which I think would’ve been an easy fix if there was simply more episodes to work with. I think we see this throughout the series; the first few episodes of the drama focused so heavily on the storyline of Tree and Meow when they could’ve relegated that to the background and taken the time to instead flesh out more details, such as Kliao’s relationships with her bandmates, or maybe showing a scene longer than 3 seconds with Karan and Fiat, supposed besties, interacting, I do not know. Personally, the unbalanced pacing of the series results in a reliance on the viewer having already read the novel, and while that is true in my case, I think it to be a little irresponsible for the show producers to ask the viewer to fend for themselves, without any added context for a couple of scenes that could’ve afforded to be more thoroughly explained, if they have not yet read the novel.

One specific example of this, is when Kliao’s “Edge of Universe” bandmates surprise her for her birthday and there is no attempt of introduction into the backstory of their relationship to Kilao. Although I admit, there is not much purpose in doing so, it would’ve helped to fully flesh Kliao as a character out more, rather than really only relying on her key relationships with Karan and her family to develop her character.

While I enjoyed the first 6 episodes (my main complaint about them being that not enough time was spent on developing the main relationship between Kliao and Karan), I think the poor pacing of the show manifested especially in episode 7, which should’ve been the crowning jewel of this show. Episode 7 is where everything the prior episodes were building towards is revealed, and where the deep relationship between Maitree and Karan is fully realized. While it started off great, showing us Fiat’s perspective and his motives, it quickly went downhill. I was most excited for the scene where Maitree stops time (and ultimately takes 10 years off of her own life) after saving Kliao from Fiat, which is very emotional once Karan and Kliao come to grapple with the idea that Maitree has sacrificed her own time for them. I thought the show would’ve shown Maitree actually stopping time, taking Fiat’s gun, and moving Kliao from danger. I definitely think it was something that could be possible for production, considering we have all the beautiful scenes with Karan reversing time. This was supposed to be one of the biggest and heart wrenching scenes, and I was disappointed to see that scene in the show was anticlimactic and too short. There was not enough of the drama of Maitree choosing to save Kliao for Karan, nor was there enough time to process all of the emotions that were happening; for all the time concepts the show attempts to grapple with, the producers should’ve spent more time developing the pacing of this scene rather than sacrificing this scene for the secondary plots, like the plot with Kliao and her dad. We, as the viewer, have Karan’s ability to “reverse” time and rewatch scenes, but conversely, we are not given any additional opportunities to experience the gravity of this scene, as the brevity of this scene prevents us from doing so.

While there isn’t much context and sometimes the narrative is a bit confusing at times, I think the scenes do a great job of mirroring the same complexity and confusion, yet familiarity and deja vu that Kliao feels whenever Karan turns back time (I don’t think this was intentional but I’ll give SiamSi the benefit of the doubt).

However, where the pacing of the show occasionally faltered, I thought the acting also did, which in my opinion, erred on the side of being choppy. To me, Kliao, in particular, felt unconvincing in her line delivery when interacting with characters outside of her dynamic with P’Karan (she’s supposed to be close with Meow and her bandmates, but where was that chemistry?). The person whose acting I was most convinced was Kliao’s dad, and even then, it seems he had the easiest role because honestly, acting like an asshole is a hell of a lot easier to do, than act like a dynamic character with complex emotions.

All the negative being said, I think what I enjoyed the most about "Reverse with Me" was its heart. It was refreshing to watch a drama where characters weren’t toxic, mis-communicators who only confesses their feelings while under the influence of alcohol, or make choices for others under the guise of love. The connection between Karan and Kliao felt like such a green flag as well, and a nice refreshing step away from Chao Planoy’s web of toxic, yet entertaining, characters, (which I, alongside may others, seem to have a problem with because of the way they seem to reduce and saturate depictions of wlw relationships as toxic, unhealthy, and overly reliant on intimacy) and more of a turn to an example of a healthier relationship. I think I really appreciated seeing a healthier relationship between women, because no matter how much I enjoyed the massive red flags in the characters of “Affair,” not all relationships between women are unhealthy; and it was nice to be shown a more healthy relationship as representation to the complexity in wlw relationships, although it can be argued that this is more the work of the novel, and less so of the adaptation.

Another thing I enjoyed was SiamSi's ambition and production value. For what seems to be their first production, the scale is impressive. The SFX, CGI, stunts, don’t even get me started on the beautiful OST and background music which matches the emotions of each scene (the way Edge of Universe is an actual band on streaming platforms), even the props, pleasantly surprised me. I also thoroughly enjoyed the cinematography and thought it to be balanced; breathtakingly dreamy and beautiful in romantic scenes yet grounded and more weighted in more dramatic scenes. For me, this is especially important because it helps me really believe the story that is unfolding; it makes it easier for me to see the way Kliao approaches her worldview; her scenes with Karan are dreamy and magical, which of course, reflect her feelings with Karan (which of course reflects with how we see Karan, from Kliao’s perspective), while her scenes with her family are more weighted and formal, reflecting the complex gravity and pain with her family members.

“Reverse with Me" is nowhere near perfect. The show’s acting is mid, pacing is too unbalanced, too slow at times but too fast at pivotal moments, but the show and plot itself is beautiful, ambitious, and heartfelt, something that I think is very compelling. As much as it chronicles Karan and Kliao’s love story, I can’t help but also fall just a little bit in love with the characters themselves, a somewhat parasocial relationship that has formed with me spending so much time getting to know them. For me, watching the imperfections of the drama unfold with the story of Kliao and Karan is simply a reminder that sometimes, it’s a luxury to be faced with the unflinching forwardness of time, be courageous with ourselves and the ones we love, be confident in the way things will pan out (who knows maybe we all have a Maitree), and also take joy in the little moments (because every little moment is specific to the present). For me, the imperfections in the drama are just a reminder of this same message; SiamSi might not be able to reverse time and redo some fundamental aspects of the drama, but that there are still things to enjoy.

So, if you’re a fan of fantasy and romance, or if you’re simply a fan of a fun way to spend time, I think this drama is definitely a journey worth taking. I might not share Karan’s ability to reverse events in my daily life, but I can say that “Reverse with Me” is definitely a series I will be “rewinding” and rewatching.

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Good Bones, Missing Soul

Based on the success of author Peony's novel of the same name, I was really excited to watch this series, and while I did enjoy making this show part of my daily routine, I can't help but think there was some room for improvement.

What I liked: The pacing of the series was done really well and the story remained very faithful to the novel. Sometimes, I feel like some aspects of the plot in some series can drag on for too long, emphasize side couples too much, or blur past important scenes that needed more context, but I really liked how the pacing was delivered here. For example, plot between Rin and Praphai/Kiri was paced perfectly, with just the amount of time delivered to their relationship as necessary; the relationship was only developed through the camera as a way to progress the main relationship between Rin and Khem. Additionally, I liked how they quickly wrapped up the plot between Kiri and Rin, which is a plotline that I thought dragged for a bit too long in the novel. Because of the good pacing of the show, the show was quite easy and enjoyable (for the most part) to watch. Outside of the pacing, of course, the overall plot is an interesting take on the arranged marriage plotline, which historically hasn't really been done on the screen, specifically in the WLW sphere.

What I didn't like: In my opinion, the romantic chemistry between the actresses was lacking. While the friendship chemistry between the actresses seemed solid in scenes that didn't contain romantic undertones (which, honestly, wasn't many), the actresses seemed unconvinced in their line delivery and acted as if they were merely reciting the lines they had been assigned. I say this because even after watching the entire series, where Khem and Rin are supposed to feel passionately about each other, the passion for each other was not there, and watching them interact romantically is what I imagine I would be like to kiss one of my close friends for work. While I cannot fault them for lacking romantic on-screen chemistry (after all, we're not all gonna have chemistry with everyone we know), I feel as though as an actress, one should hold themselves to a professional standard to at least convince the audience about their role and the overall drama, which I did not see here. Another thing I didn't really enjoy was the use of love scenes to further the plot; honestly the frequency of the love scenes seemed excessive, and though it is just a reflection of the dynamic between Rin and Khem in the novel, the love scenes seemed performative, and simply just added for the sake of garnering attention.

That leads into my last point, which is less so directly about the series adaptation, but moreso about the GL industry as a whole, but I'm including it in this review because I feel as though it is relevant to this drama. I feel as though there is a correlation between dramas with frequent love scenes and the popularity they receive, especially as the GL entertainment market is starting to become more saturated with content. While I recognize that the works that do portray frequent love scenes between characters who do identify as LGBTQ+ can have the effect of widening representation of LGBTQ+ love, I can't help but think that dramas whose main selling points are the love scenes in the show, are advertising a depiction of LGBTQ+ relationships that are little more than just relationships focused around sex. I think this is a damaging, reductive notion of queer relationships; queer relationships can be (and oftentimes are) more complex than just relationships built on physical intimacy. While this show does try to develop more of a relationship between Rin and Khem, I feel as though the complexity of their relationship (as well as queer relationships by extension) could've been better represented and explored in interactions outside of the bedroom, and I can't help but think that if new viewers unfamiliar with the dynamics of queer relationships watched this series, they would walk away with a very reductive idea of how queer relationships work, which is a shame because queer relationships (and more broadly romantic relationships) are beautiful in their complexity.

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