I Love ‘A Lot Of’ You

"I Love 'Some' of You—But Not All"

Wow, what a journey this series was! GMMTV's "I Love 'A Lot' Of You," emphasizes (if not outright shoves down our throats) the importance of sincereity, not only in how we approach others, inform our behaviors, but also in how we view ourselves; every life experience we go through is an opportunity to showcase our true selves unapologetically, no matter how that manifests, no matter the consequences. And while this show shines in the ideology of the message, the meaning of the show is unraveled in its handling of core plotlines, particularly the one surrounding mental health and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

The show is centered around the premise of a woman with 5 different personalities (Mahnmook, Sairung, Storm, Prai-fon, and Fah-Sai) who first meets Sun under the guidance of Sairung's father (while I recognize the complexity of identity, for the purposes of this review, I will refer to Mind's character as Sairung), who wants Sun to "heal" her from her DID. The conversations around DID in the series not only consistently but also explicitly regard DID as a weakness that needs to be healed, which both undercuts the series' main emphasis on sincerity and also advocates a dangerous oversimplification of the condition. The idea that DID can be "overcome" with something as simple as being loved (if that's the case, then why wasn't her father's love enough to "heal" her) and the disregard for the complexity of each personality frankly stunned me. The series tries to circumvent this oversimplification in the end by showing how Sairung still carries a part of each personality, but it doesn't make up for the fundamental contradiction in the show's message; if we are to celebrate each and every part of ourselves to be sincere, then why not celebrate the complexity of ourselves by having Sairung end up balancing all 5 personalities equally? Each personality makes up who Sairung is; Sairung is Sairung because she was made up of 5 different personalities.

So, what this show ultimately ends up doing in this reduction of DID and identity, is it advocates a dangerous caveat to the message of sincerity. It's true that we should strive to be ourselves, but we should only do this when who we are is something to be desired. We should show parts of ourselves to others, but only the parts others can accept, which is an ultimately damaging view of identity and individuality, because if we are meant to pander to the wishes of others, then who and what is our true, authentic self?

This harmful portrayal of identity is further developed in the subplot of Sairung wanting Sun to choose which personality she ultimately ends up choosing once she "heals" from DID, which is ironic because sincerity is something deeply rooted in understanding and knowledge of ourselves, not something others ascribe to us; we cannot be sincere about our feelings and identity if we aren't familiar with the complexity of the wholeness of ourselves, or if someone else tells us who we are. If Sairung, as a character, were fully sincere, then why would she want someone else to choose the person she would continue to live as? Again, the show tries to circumvent this harmful narrative by ultimately having Sairung pick her own personality, but it is precisely the mere inclusion of this subplot in a show that advocates for the importance of authenticity in expressing our individuality that is harmful. So, while this show presents a performative attempt to open the door to more genuine, productive conversations regarding DID and mental health, an issue historically underrepresented in Asian culture and media, I can't help but walk away from this series thinking it has done more harm than good.

I think the premise of the show is a very interesting one, the cast (Mind killed this role!) was amazing, the soundtrack was beautiful, and the production quality was great, however, it is with this fondness of the show that I say there were just so many other aspects of the show that I thought could've been better done, such as with the utter lack of zero secondary character development, De's character being a creep that uses spyware whenever he wants and without others' permission, and the hurried handeling of the Kritsana Real Estate plotline (did we ever truly learn what/how the business was shady?).

In the end, "I Love 'A Lot' Of You" sets itself up to be a heartfelt meditation on sincerity and identity, but ultimately falls apart under the weight of its own contradictions due to its failure to fully embrace the very sincerity it preaches. If you are someone looking for a quick and easy watch, this might be up your alley! But if you're someone looking for a little more depth and "sincerity" than just a surface rom-com, I would suggest you get your fix somewhere else.

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