This review may contain spoilers
When love saves.
While I have never actually written a review for this 2018 work of art that was My Mister, it nonetheless changed my way of envisioning dramas and raised my expectations tenfold for every subsequent one after I discovered it a few years ago. If you haven't watched it, I will somewhat spoil it here. Although there isn't much to spoil, really. If you want to entirely discover it yourself, I will add a spoiler alert at the paragraph concerned by the spoiler regardless. Other than a review, it's more like a spontaneous rant meant to alleviate the feelings I'm feelings in the feels right now suddenly remembering it for some reason.
Until this show, never have I been this close to seeing my own perspective about love materialized on screen. It was at arm's length when I went through the anime Naruto, many years prior. Exemplary tale of pure, unconditional, sacrificial love. An everlasting brotherhood, an unbreakable friendship, a beautiful growth, sadly mistaken by many as a basic boring power of friendship shōnen that just went on for way too long. While it was far from a perfect score, if I remove all the filler and nonsense and inappropriate stuff, it's still today one of the most beautiful stories I've ever watched.
Except from this, I thought that outside of Christian or deep Buddhist contexts it simply wasn't possible to encounter stories of very profound spiritual and platonic love, unending forgiveness and redemption in the face of any fault, and impeccable uprightness without mixing in a lot of romance and passions to make it palatable to conventional audiences. My Mister proved me half-wrong, as it is still very much anchored in Buddhist philosophy and it has its fair share of romance, but at the same time it doesn't matter that much. It then opened the door for me to discover many other beautiful tales of love that are out of this world. Asian dramas simply have a way of doing that. Their romances are beautiful - their non-romances are exceptional. However, this far, nothing quite hit me as deep as My Mister did.
Therefore right now, I just want to talk about it. In particular, about this magical relationship between Park Dong Hun (marvellously interpreted by Lee Sun Kyun, who tragically took his life in 2023, December 27th, following false accusations) and Lee Ji An (made alive by Lee Ji Eun with all her heart, also known as IU).
Some people consider this a star-crossed lovers story, where neither time, nor space, nor circumstances were right for them to come together romantically but where they nonetheless wished they could. I see it as an entirely platonic bond devoid of wordly desires that transcends time, space and circumstances without burdening itself with any labels. While this isn't just about them but also about many other miserable people around them, all unhappy, flawed and relatable in their own pathetic ways, what I will never forget is these two characters whose pitiful lives got intertwined and could never again be separated.
I genuinely believe there is no ambiguity about the nature of their relationship in this drama. Even if they had tried to make it ambiguously romantic, it simply doesn't work for me. This is just not the kind of energy and dynamic that is going on between them, at all. Dong Hun on his side made it crystal clear from the start : she could be his own daughter (age gap of +15 years !) and in no way did he think of her like that. He is as close to perfection as could be a faithful, principled and selfless human being, and he never gave any indication that this kind of relationship with her was something he actually desired, at any point. Added to that, Dong Hun was married, and divorce or cheating simply weren't in his vocabulary.
[SPOILER ALERT]
He even forgave his wife with all the meagre strength he had left for her unfaithfulness and remained loyal to her to the end of the drama - and, I believe, to the end of their fictional lives.
While Ji An did 'kiss' Dong Hun once, it is very clear that this was out of her desperate, malicious, confused aim to create a scandal and provoke him, trying to shake off of him what she thought was merely a fake facade of integrity. As inappropriate as it was, and as distressed as that made Dong Hun, it simply made sense for where she was on her growth arc at this point. Then not only did he reject her firmly, she also ended up hurting herself instead of him as others saw right through it, and in no other instances did she appear to love him in a way that was sexual. She loved him, there is no doubt. But I sincerely believe it was not a physical love.
[END SPOILER]
In fact, this story could not be further from being about a passionate, forbidden, secret 'love' affair between a mentally-ill girl and a middle-aged man on the edge of a complete breakdown. It's about true and unconditional love that doesn't care about anything but what is right and just, forgiveness that remains even when everyone else would condemn, hope in absolute darkness, sacrifice without asking anything in return and unfailing virtue, that healed and transformed two people whose hearts had been ravaged by life, and whose lives were completely falling apart.
To go even further, from how I see it, Lee Ji An could have been a child, a senior lady, a man, a pony or an alien life form from another dimension, it wouldn't have changed anything or made inappropriate the love they had (minus what I talked about in the spoiler section, obviously). It is the purest, the strongest and the best rendition of true unconditional platonic love I have seen in any fiction this far, and haven't come near this again. Except for some good bro-sismances, but not between a male and a female, and certainly not to this extent.
Apart from this, watching this show feels like taking a deep dive into psychology and Buddhist philosophy. The amount of pertinent life quotes these beaten-down guys say, that make you feel both exposed and healed is something that really attracted me. Yet, this is also one of the reasons I cannot rewatch it. I have rewatched it multiple times already. But that was before Lee Sun Kyun passed away. This a psychologically and emotionally very difficult story to endure, as rewarding as it is in the end. It's heavy. It's depressing. Many of these people are walking corpses. Their last resort to survive is either make-believe and cynicism or ridiculous attempts at grasping some air with one nostril while they're themselves blocking the other one and the entire ocean is filling up their lungs through their mouth. It's not like they're going through extreme, abnormal trauma. It's just... life. And it's already so hard. It's not a tale culminating in well-earned success, perfect health, eternal happiness, wrongs made rights ; it's a realistic yet satisfying and spiritually uplifting one. Now that it's said, the fact this great actor and good man is gone only leaves us a painfully bittersweet memory. It truly makes journeying with his character that much more gutting. Which is why I don't feel ready to rewatch it. However - if you haven't yet watched this and are considering it because the themes appeal to you - please, please, please : do. Really. You will cry. You will be angry. Your heart will rise, and then it will fall flat. It will swell, then it will be crushed. But in the end, it will all be worth it.
I hope that anyone coming across this drama will remember it, carve it in their heart, feel it in their soul. If only Lee Sun Kyun had done so.
"So just watch. Watch and see just how happy I live my life. None of this is a big deal. Being humiliated ? People gossiping about how my life is ruined ? None of that is a big deal. I can live a happy life. I won't be broken. I will be happy." - Park Dong Hun to Lee Ji An.
Until this show, never have I been this close to seeing my own perspective about love materialized on screen. It was at arm's length when I went through the anime Naruto, many years prior. Exemplary tale of pure, unconditional, sacrificial love. An everlasting brotherhood, an unbreakable friendship, a beautiful growth, sadly mistaken by many as a basic boring power of friendship shōnen that just went on for way too long. While it was far from a perfect score, if I remove all the filler and nonsense and inappropriate stuff, it's still today one of the most beautiful stories I've ever watched.
Except from this, I thought that outside of Christian or deep Buddhist contexts it simply wasn't possible to encounter stories of very profound spiritual and platonic love, unending forgiveness and redemption in the face of any fault, and impeccable uprightness without mixing in a lot of romance and passions to make it palatable to conventional audiences. My Mister proved me half-wrong, as it is still very much anchored in Buddhist philosophy and it has its fair share of romance, but at the same time it doesn't matter that much. It then opened the door for me to discover many other beautiful tales of love that are out of this world. Asian dramas simply have a way of doing that. Their romances are beautiful - their non-romances are exceptional. However, this far, nothing quite hit me as deep as My Mister did.
Therefore right now, I just want to talk about it. In particular, about this magical relationship between Park Dong Hun (marvellously interpreted by Lee Sun Kyun, who tragically took his life in 2023, December 27th, following false accusations) and Lee Ji An (made alive by Lee Ji Eun with all her heart, also known as IU).
Some people consider this a star-crossed lovers story, where neither time, nor space, nor circumstances were right for them to come together romantically but where they nonetheless wished they could. I see it as an entirely platonic bond devoid of wordly desires that transcends time, space and circumstances without burdening itself with any labels. While this isn't just about them but also about many other miserable people around them, all unhappy, flawed and relatable in their own pathetic ways, what I will never forget is these two characters whose pitiful lives got intertwined and could never again be separated.
I genuinely believe there is no ambiguity about the nature of their relationship in this drama. Even if they had tried to make it ambiguously romantic, it simply doesn't work for me. This is just not the kind of energy and dynamic that is going on between them, at all. Dong Hun on his side made it crystal clear from the start : she could be his own daughter (age gap of +15 years !) and in no way did he think of her like that. He is as close to perfection as could be a faithful, principled and selfless human being, and he never gave any indication that this kind of relationship with her was something he actually desired, at any point. Added to that, Dong Hun was married, and divorce or cheating simply weren't in his vocabulary.
[SPOILER ALERT]
He even forgave his wife with all the meagre strength he had left for her unfaithfulness and remained loyal to her to the end of the drama - and, I believe, to the end of their fictional lives.
While Ji An did 'kiss' Dong Hun once, it is very clear that this was out of her desperate, malicious, confused aim to create a scandal and provoke him, trying to shake off of him what she thought was merely a fake facade of integrity. As inappropriate as it was, and as distressed as that made Dong Hun, it simply made sense for where she was on her growth arc at this point. Then not only did he reject her firmly, she also ended up hurting herself instead of him as others saw right through it, and in no other instances did she appear to love him in a way that was sexual. She loved him, there is no doubt. But I sincerely believe it was not a physical love.
[END SPOILER]
In fact, this story could not be further from being about a passionate, forbidden, secret 'love' affair between a mentally-ill girl and a middle-aged man on the edge of a complete breakdown. It's about true and unconditional love that doesn't care about anything but what is right and just, forgiveness that remains even when everyone else would condemn, hope in absolute darkness, sacrifice without asking anything in return and unfailing virtue, that healed and transformed two people whose hearts had been ravaged by life, and whose lives were completely falling apart.
To go even further, from how I see it, Lee Ji An could have been a child, a senior lady, a man, a pony or an alien life form from another dimension, it wouldn't have changed anything or made inappropriate the love they had (minus what I talked about in the spoiler section, obviously). It is the purest, the strongest and the best rendition of true unconditional platonic love I have seen in any fiction this far, and haven't come near this again. Except for some good bro-sismances, but not between a male and a female, and certainly not to this extent.
Apart from this, watching this show feels like taking a deep dive into psychology and Buddhist philosophy. The amount of pertinent life quotes these beaten-down guys say, that make you feel both exposed and healed is something that really attracted me. Yet, this is also one of the reasons I cannot rewatch it. I have rewatched it multiple times already. But that was before Lee Sun Kyun passed away. This a psychologically and emotionally very difficult story to endure, as rewarding as it is in the end. It's heavy. It's depressing. Many of these people are walking corpses. Their last resort to survive is either make-believe and cynicism or ridiculous attempts at grasping some air with one nostril while they're themselves blocking the other one and the entire ocean is filling up their lungs through their mouth. It's not like they're going through extreme, abnormal trauma. It's just... life. And it's already so hard. It's not a tale culminating in well-earned success, perfect health, eternal happiness, wrongs made rights ; it's a realistic yet satisfying and spiritually uplifting one. Now that it's said, the fact this great actor and good man is gone only leaves us a painfully bittersweet memory. It truly makes journeying with his character that much more gutting. Which is why I don't feel ready to rewatch it. However - if you haven't yet watched this and are considering it because the themes appeal to you - please, please, please : do. Really. You will cry. You will be angry. Your heart will rise, and then it will fall flat. It will swell, then it will be crushed. But in the end, it will all be worth it.
I hope that anyone coming across this drama will remember it, carve it in their heart, feel it in their soul. If only Lee Sun Kyun had done so.
"So just watch. Watch and see just how happy I live my life. None of this is a big deal. Being humiliated ? People gossiping about how my life is ruined ? None of that is a big deal. I can live a happy life. I won't be broken. I will be happy." - Park Dong Hun to Lee Ji An.
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