zeesqueere

Deserves More Love!

Week after week, I would check the rating here on MDL to see if other people were seeing what I was seeing, yet the rating remains consistently poor. If you've come down to the review section out of curiosity, please don't let the low average rating scare you away! This is a beautiful show that gets better the more you engage with it as a viewer.

I think the thing that might be throwing many people is actually the thing I also like most: namely, that this series is more like a stage play than a TV show. There are a limited number of sets, a relatively small cast of characters, and high dialogue to action ratio. This ties in with the main character's profession as a play actor and also serves in a metacontextual way of engaging with the act of storytelling in a rather novel way. Not only does this show have a main plot and a few subplots, but everything about it is also a love letter to the very notion of storytelling itself. Characters serve as stand-ins for the audience, the chorus, and even the storyteller in turns. It's a fun device that really adds to the depth of each and every shot, line of dialogue, and character choice made along the way.

I also have to applaud the way that this show handles religion and spirituality and the supernatural. It's also a deep dive into grief and loss. Honestly, there's so much to this show! Also, Jared is adorable and it's worth watching for each of his appearances onscreen alone.

Read More

Like Waves, I Keep Returning to this Masterpiece Again and Again

EDIT: Lowered my rating due to a lead actor's irl behavior. The show is still good and deserves to be given a chance, but I don't feel like a 10/10 fits anymore for me personally.

It’s hard to know where to begin in reviewing this show.

Should I mention the bombastic acting performances, which highlight the characters’ youth and inexperience with feeling quite so much, especially standing in sharp contrast to so many other Japanese shows? Which isn’t to say that they don’t do subtle as well; both mains have a mastery over micro-expressions that feel all the louder in their quiet, precise application.

Sound and silence are both balanced so well that the quiet spaces between words and glances may as well be a supporting character unto itself. The same could be said of water, particularly of the sea, as it is evoked in both words (voice-overs, dialogue, writing, and the main characters’ very names) and images (films, pictures, flashbacks, and day trips both apart and together) again and again, layered into each episode’s framing narration and the very color palette of the show itself.

It’s a visually breathtaking show as a whole. The camerawork is masterful—even when the uncertainty of a situation or scene could benefit from shaky cam, the cinematography team instead allows the camera to smoothly bob and flow as if launched into the sea like some message for help nestled in a bottle. The characters are thus depicted as left adrift in an ocean (a world) far bigger than themselves as they try treading water until their feet find the bottom once more.

Equally impactful are the moments of stillness, just as the moments of silence. Japanese media often utilizes empty space and this show is no different, yet the effect is especially pronounced here as it further leaves the main characters isolated and alone, without the care of anyone tasked to love them, small and vulnerable and lonely whenever they’re apart. They’re made small and thus so, so young in the face of this silence-emptiness combination. Their vulnerability is so pure that you cannot help but empathize and root for them to reach a place of connection—a place back within the embrace of each other.

I should also mention the device of story and storytelling as a meta nod to this story itself. Haruki mythologizes his own situation to give himself strength and hope enough to endure. Jin’s father is a director who is too caught up in his own legend to see the truth—the emptiness—of his son’s life. Again and again we are shown the power of a story to save lives just as this too is itself a story about two young men who ultimately save themselves and each other. It saved me too.

Read More

My Top Drama of 2023

I’m still shocked that this show passed censorship—in a good way, I should stress. I’m almost speechless.

I should also stress that this is a heavy show and it’s hard to watch. The script plays fair with the audience, which means that nothing goes smoothly for the sake of convenience. Every single outcome is actively earned and every setback is established fairly too. We know the villains, we know the heroes, and they know each other. It’s part spy movie, part guzhuang, part Law & Order SVU, and part love story. The love was there. It didn’t change anything, but it was there.

Read More

Stumbled In the Final Quarter

For a show that warned viewers to leave their morality at the door, the ending is what lost this almost-masterpiece an entire star.

I'm just going to say it: Boston deserved better writing. Neo Trai's acting performance was easily the strongest across the heavy-weight cast, but even I tired of his sad eyes and out of character whining by the end. He should have stood firm, he should have been allowed to be a non-monogamous king in peace, and he should have gotten to end the series with the threesome he was promised in the beginning. I just hope he gets the last laugh while off in New York.

Edit: After sitting with this show for a bit longer, I'm dropping my rating to a 7/10.

Read More

You Are Who You Choose to Be

It’s hard not to fall into philosophical tones when discussing the plot or themes of this series, but that doesn’t mean that it’s inaccessible or unnatural. Far from it. Megumi loves, breathes, and moves through the world with a courage she fights to muster, but she always tries to be authentic to herself despite the shame or embarrassment such honesty may bring; Kotoha, conversely, wears her false confidence like armor. They’re both flawed and stumbling young women that feel so real, you can’t help but identify with and root for them. Even if you aren’t a survivor of abuse, you can see the ways that a maladaptive coping mechanism helps until it doesn’t. Even if you aren’t a Meguchi or a Scheherazade yourself, you’ve known or could know someone just like them.

Beyond the characters and acting work, the show itself is violently beautiful in the way that each shot intentionally captures the interplay of shadows and colors. Like this show is absolutely gorgeous to the point where I can’t even talk about the intentionality behind the use of pink and blue without losing my mind. It’s so meticulous! The sound design is great, the soundtrack is great, the color grading is great, the use of lens depth and blank spaces is brilliant, and the episodes are as good the 7th time as they are the 1st.

Watch this show!

Read More

What To Even Say

How can I sum up my feelings about this show in a way that would be helpful for others?

I guess the most important part is provide some trigger warnings:
incest, mentions of offscreen rape of supporting characters, implied attempted rape, blackmail, homophobia including homophobic violence, unsafe sex, bullying, and tbh I'm not quite sure how to put this one but a sister actively shipping her own brother with a guy he hates. I have likely missed even more because this show drove me to befriend the skip button.

This show is hard to rate because the main pairing is so sweet and earnest, they eventually figure out how to best communicate when they're upset, they support each other as friends and as partners, and they're overall one of the most compelling onscreen Thai BL couples from this era. And yet. And yet. This show insists on splitting the focus across at least five or six couples, and every single side pairing is awful. Truly awful.

My best recommendation is to scrub through each episode; if you don't see Perth and/or Saint in a scene, don't bother. Their story is the only worthwhile part of this series.

Read More

Painfully Bad

How is this show so well-rated and beloved?

I've seen other shows with Off and Gun paired together, so I know I can't blame their lack of chemistry on the actors... but damn if their characters Khai and Third have literally nothing going for them. You can't even blame the ratings on it being a steamy show because there are only a few kisses between the leads and they're all awkward as hell. Honestly, you know it's bad when the only pairing with any on-screen chemistry is the 'teacher emotionally cheats on fiancé with student' one.

The plot is ridiculously slow and Gun's narration constantly lampshading the fact Third is stupid for liking Khai doesn't help; if anything, it only makes the watching experience more frustrating because it destroys what little audience buy-in there was to begin with! Why should I care to see Third get treated like shit for 11 episodes of a 12 episode show? Gun's definitely a beautiful crier, but I still got bored of his constant tears by episode 2.

Meanwhile, Off's performance is, dare I say, off-putting. His coming out scene is so wooden and flat that I had to walk away. As a bisexual who didn't come into my identity until I was well into uni myself, I was hoping for more: more enthusiasm, more confusion, more distress or relief or incredulity. More anything. And it never got better. There was no sense of physical attraction between Khai and Third at any point in the entire show. A more generous read would be that Khai is a homoromantic heterosexual, but the stupid boner jokes undercut any credibility there. Instead, we're merely told that Khai thinks Third is attractive rather than that ever being shown.

Final verdict: 2/10 stars, direct to video.

Read More

Feel-Good Story of 2022

This drama is getting a lot of undeserved criticism in the review section, so I feel obligated to leave a review of my own. I put off watching Vice Versa for an entire year because of its reception despite it being fantastic! It's thoughtful, beautifully shot, heartfelt, well-acted, and fun. It's fun! I wouldn't describe it as a comedy, but it's lighthearted in its use of cameos and other GMMTV show easter eggs. The plot contrivances are familiar tropes taken straight out of any web novel (which makes sense considering the story is based on one), but everything is handled with an earnestness and integrity that allows the story to feel resonant. It is fiction and you do have to buy into the worldbuilding, but Vice Versa makes it easy for viewers to do so. Also, the scriptwriting team also worked on the critically-acclaimed My School President, so you know that they're good at what they do. Please give this show a shot and watch with an open mind.

Read More

Award Nominee for a Reason

This is a drama that improves upon rewatch; you can't always make that claim. P'Jojo's homage to the mafia lakorns of his youth blended with his passion for telling nuanced stories that transcend genre limitations mix for a sometimes stilted but always earnest exploration of class and queerness in contemporary Thailand.

This is more than just a BL/Series Y, but it's not playing the game of being above its genre the way The Eighth Sense strives to be something more akin to SKAM than I Told Sunset About You. Do not come into watching this drama with any preconceptions set by 3 Will Be Free or any other of P'Jojo's works or you will be disappointed. This is not as polished perhaps, but only because he's trying to push his own stylistic limitations and the growing pains around the edges are to be enjoyed rather than admonished.

Do give it an earnest try with an open mind and cautious heart. You may be surprised how many tears your eyes can shed.

Read More

Biggest Letdown of 2025

I will preference this by stating that while I did read the manga and thus am not judging this work solely on its own merits, I did watch this movie with a friend of mine who has never read the manga and our thoughts were in alignment.

The actors deserve praise for the clear amount of work they put into becoming competent dancers. The first 30 minutes of the movie has really gorgeous lighting and overall cinematography. The costume design was excellent. And... That's where my list of positives end.

While better than the manga on this front, the fact is that this movie is racist. The actors did their best to embody their characters as presented in the script, but the script itself is severely lacking. The pacing is awful. Rather than showing OR telling, this film opts for neither. The chemistry between the leads is hindered by a plot that only grows more and more incomprehensible as it wears on until the movie suddenly ends in a shock. In fact, the 10Dance competition, for which the movie is named, doesn't even happen before the movie ends.

I wanted to like 10Dance. I wish I hated it. Ultimately, however, I just want the time I know I will spend continuing to think about this movie's countless failings back already.

Read More

Don’t Wait Out Your Happiness in the Search for a Quiet Life

I don’t think this show will resonate with anyone looking for a fast burn or fluff (both are valid but almost entirely absent here). That’s not to say that this is an angst-fest either, however, just that it’s a very mature drama which focuses its lens on the unraveling of a lifetime of compulsory heterosexuality slowly enough not to snarl. If you’re looking for a mature story with a happy ending, give it a try! If not, then look elsewhere. Come back in five or ten years and see if this is more your cup of tea then. I know that this would have bored me to tears as a child and horrified me as a teenager, but my adult self cannot help but be comforted seeing other people working through something I can relate to, in my own small way. Maybe you will too.

Read More

Hidden Gem of 2024

This show has been widely overlooked by MDLers and other drama watchers in international spaces despite being utterly—if you'll excuse the pun—thrilling to watch, whether week to week or all at once. The acting is so good that it genuinely boggled and continues to boggle my mind. I must devote special praise for the male and female leads as Liu Guan Ting depicts a scumbag you cannot help but root for while Wang Ching brings life, subtlety, and strength to his long-suffering long-term girlfriend. This isn't the sort of show I would normally choose to watch, but even several months on, I'm so glad that I did.

Read More