Reviews

Still Processing the Feelings

It's almost 15 hours after the episode's out and I'm still here feeling spent and hollowed out. It was such a roller-coaster ride. The way this series approached this kind of plot is stunning. Tanrak is truly showing that he is a teenager in this episode that I was a bit uncomfortable facing it. At first, because of his way of handling and treating the people around him, he seemed an old soul and steady whereas other teenagers around him like Kongdech and Barth looked kind of teen-ish (if you know what I meant). Now, however, it showed that all of those are his camouflage.. This episode showed that Tanrak didn't truly know who himself is and what he really wants. When Barth and Kongdech showed their steadiness, Tanrak is still struggling to accept his feelings and wants. All the characters showed their reactions to Barth and Tanrak's relationship and they left me with this puzzling feeling, like something is missing but I don't know what it is. It's funnily perfect for me, tho. I think because the theme is too delicate for the director slash the scriptwriters to make it as realistic as possible, they have to leave some leeway to emphasize that religious people is not as bad as most people thought for queer community but the characters still look battling with themselves. I'm dreading the next episode because it will be the last I see BarthTanrak. I don't want to say goodbye to them. Again, a huge shoutout to the crew and actors behind every scenes!

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Barth's backstory left me in pieces...

This episode gave me all the feelings that I probably shouldn't have this early. I cried almost through out all of the scenes. Their happy moments felt so fragile and bittersweet because we knew that the storm will come and hit them full force. We also now got the full story of how Barth turned the way he is now and damn... can we blame him??Some parts might be felt like cut abruptly..but I think it's also because the chemistry energy that both the actors showed just too good so when it was cut, it felt a bit hollow...it's only because we WANT MORE of that!Anyway, still kudos to all the crews, the actors, and the director! Can't wait for the next episode eventho I felt like I'm not ready too...

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Comienza la angustia

Como siempre, todo el capitulo estuvo muy bien, pero aun asi es muy diferente con respecto al episodio uno. Se comienza a profundizar y a desarrollar mas la relacion de Barth y Tanrak, dando paso a la lucha interna de Tanrak sobre lo que quiere y lo que le parece correcto, la forma en la que Fourth actuo en la ultima escena fue increible: un minuto y cuarenta segundos sin dialogo pero diciendo de todo con solo sus ojos. Esta escena en especial me impacto mucho, tanto asi que alrededor de dos horas despues de haber terminado el capitulo seguia sintiendo una pesadez en mi pecho. La actuacion de Gemini tambien estuvo fenomenal, su personaje poco a poco se esta volviendo a integrar en su entorno y se vuelve mas cercano a Tanrak, volviendose un gran apoyo para él. Sinceramente lo mejor de lo mejor.

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joe looked cute in this episode though hehehe

I’m genuinely mad as hell ahim’s episode is DEDICATED TO DOC. DOC OF ALL PEOPLE. WAS HE MY LEAST FAVORITE ？YEAH, BUT I JUST DIDN’t LIKE HIM MORE THAN ANYPONY ELSE. i was waitinmg i was so excited to get to ahim’s episode & here he is crying up a damn storm. i would’ve liked this episode later on if it didn’t take up her slot ，because it works really well for the characters & homage. this is one of the bvest teams though. they all fulfill meaningful slots. they ahve their blind+spots but they also have their companions to make up for that until they can build upon it. i genuinely am really upset we didn’t get to focus on ahim this episode. because i LOVE jan i love seeing him interact with ahim . . . & IF HE EVER STARTS GETTING A CRUSH ON HER I WILL OBLITERATE HIM

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Why Tanrak may be both Fourth and P'Aof's best characters.

The directory of P'Aof has left me speechless multiple times in just the first 2 episodes (that are out). Tanrak is such a multiple faceted character who deals with things like religious guilt, filial guilt and even guilt for having desires and feelings, he is wrapped up in this painful vice of fear and desperate need for some release.He so desperately wants to meet his parents and in a way i think its cause he wants all of this suffering and abstinence he practices to make sense, to be worth something, he wants to know that all of this wasn’t for nothing. That makes him such a tragic character cause the driving force of his faith is crackled and can be wavering cause it comes from a place of feeling like its his only choice, that it is all he can be.He has never had the choice of being who he wants or even what he wants. The scene of him giving in to his desires in EP 2 can come off as weak in some view points but it is important to remember that he is an 18 yr old boy with valid feelings and cravings, him holding out for this long is commendable and his utter guilt and grief for even giving in when he did makes it all the more tragic.The reason I like Tanrak so much is because he is so raw and "gross" with his desires, he is so desperate and disgusted by himself which is often times true for many queer folk in religious backgrounds.

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TENSION THAT CAN KILL

The tension is insane. The way they talk to each other drives me crazy. They are well aware of their feelings but neither of them think it will be reciprocated. Tanrak feels insecure seeing barth with cherry not just because he's jealous but because he feels that is the "right" relationship and what he has for Barth is wrong. Barth is a greenflag, he tries everything to salvage and assure tanrak in their relationship even though they don't even have a relationship yet. He feels scared that he'd lose Tanrak.The moment of realisation - All this builds up to the end of episode where they are taking a bath in the communal bathroom. It's just them and each of them feel the desire and tension until Tanrak runs away from these feelings. This leads to one of most heartbreaking and beautiful confessions and one of the best kiss scenes

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