Iyashi no Otonari-san ni wa Himitsu ga Aru

This show doesn't excuse stalking-

But it does aspire to redeem a stalker. I found this show fascinating and very enjoyable. As a dark romance book lover, I was fully prepared to overlook the stalking anyway (I'm not here to defend my book tastes so don't come for me 😂), however this show did not intend to let the viewer overlook this.

Nishina was very mentally unstable and unhealthy. He was suicidal and latched onto the person who saved him and this grew into obsession. His obsession lead to his delusion that what he was doing was just keeping her safe. We watch as he breaks down and comes to terms with his actions. Sakamoto sees that his intentions were well placed, but poorly executed. He stands firm that regardless of your intentions, how your actions affect someone else are what matters, therefore his actions were inexcusable. This hard truth really opens Nishina's eyes and crumbles the illusion before him. He realizes his actions are no different than Fujiko's workplace stalker and harasser.

The show doesn't excuse Nishina. He says, "but I didn't hurt her, I wasn't violent." because he only followed from a distance and took her picture. The message is non-negotiable that despite the intent, the trauma caused to Fujiko is the same. In his case, maybe worse because she truly fell for him. This is where he is redeemed. He truly did not realize his actions and takes the time to process and reflect. He realized the harm of listening to his inner voice rather than considering her feelings. He admitted he had been so in tune with his inner monolog, he was too far gone. He took his talk with Sakamoto to heart and began the process of actually changing.

The proof of his change is really highlighted by the scene where Fujiko says she loves him. He doesn't immediately abandon his dream and his journey for himself. He acknowledges that he does love her, but he has to change. These two demonstrate a healthy relationship foundation through supporting each other, even in times of distance.

Nishina definitely needed therapy. But I did appreciate this show demonstrating his commitment to becoming a better person. I think this was well done, well acted, and definitely worth the watch!

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I must confess I started watching this "Iyashi no Otonari-san ni wa Himitsu ga aru" only out of my love for Tanabe Momoko, who's my #1 fave of the current generation of Japanese actresses (and considering that she has some fierce competition there, that's saying quite a lot, isn't it?). And indeed she was once again perfect to a "T", gorgeous and tremendously talented as always.
On the other hand, I didn't have any expectation at all about the drama itself: I was actually expecting the Nth crappy hollywoodian story of "the good guy next door seems nice but actually is a psycho, so beware of other people, stay alone and unhappy 'cause that's how we want you to be"...but it ended up being, much to my surprise, quite the other way around!
The writers aren't keeping from us that the ML is a "psycho"; I mean, seriously, they portray him right from the beginning with a demented grin on his face, and on top of that, humming the European Union anthem! Hard to be crazier than that, right? >___<
(...yeah, I know it's Beethoven's "Ode to the Joy", but the EU using it has ruined that completely for me, sorry...)
Back to what I was saying (and more seriously!), what the writers did here was to actually orchestrate an intricate "double play": on the surface, we have the FL finding out, slowly but surely, that the ML ain't what he seems...but on a deeper level, we viewers take just the opposite path, finding out precisely that he's not as crazy (nor as "stalkerish") as we initially thought him to be! So in the end the message is a completely non-hollywoodian "the next person might be a lot better than you think, so open up and be happy", which is pretty damn nice, coming to think about it!
The music is good, the "packaging" too, the scenography great (I want an apartment like that! Of course as long as I could share the balcony with Momoko-chan, LOL).
But the absolute best part is the acting. ALL the cast did marvelously, with virtual standing ovations for both leads!
The only reason I'm not grading this as a "Perfect 10" (SPOILER ahead) is that I've found the stabbing scene with the subsequent endless monologue really forced and overall annoyingly clichéd; had they done that more nicely, it would've been perfect. But it got close.

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Femme Fatale?

Surprised to see only one review for this drama, I decided to put down in words some of my impressions.

Well, Japanese have done it again: they took an ordinary topic and gave it a typical unconventional Japanese twist.

The story follows a young woman who falls for her neighbour: a kind and sweet office worker. The alarm bells start to ring when she discovers that he is in fact, a rich heir:so why does someone like him live in a cheep rundown studio apartment? But she has already fallen for him, hook line and sinker and she does not want to think about every illogical thing happening around her. Until one day she enters his apartment and realizes he had been following her around, stalking her.

As I said only Japanese find a way to make stalking romantic. Here they did it by comparing him to another stalker. Poor girl, being nice to some men makes them fall in love with her and get obsesses with her to the unhealthy levels. The writers decided to show us two levels of stalking: one is just pining from afar while the other one slides down into violence very quickly. One is redeemable on its own if the stalker realizes the error of his ways. The other is punishable by law. This distinction honestly made me uncomfortable. Stalking is a scary, unhealthy and criminal activity. And even though a person might repent and regret, what is there to prove that he won't start doing it again? I wish they showed us him getting some professional help not just having her talk to him once and him finally being aware of his misbehaviour, to put it mildly.

The whole cast was perfect especially the ML who managed to show us the fine line between the madness and kindness in his actions. Amazing actor indeed!The FL was rather refreshing as well: a strong woman,competent with a tiny chip on her shoulder but knowing what is right and what is wrong and an excellent judge of character, when she wants to. Those who actually stole the show for me were her coworkers, her three friends who encourage her and help her when she needs them to. They can be fun and funny just as they can be serious and fierce when needs be. They are actually the ones who made me finish this drama when I realized the direction it was taking.

The episodes are very short (20min) though I had impression of every episode being at least one hour long: the event were moving on very fast, sometimes too fast. The story is told in voice over by both ML and FL taking turns from one episode to another. I like it since it gives us different point of view of same actions and helps with understanding characters' motivations.

Personally I do not find stalking cute and romantic so I am not optimistic as far as their relationship's future is concerned. They are happy now but for how long?

All in all, a typical j drama. And I love those!

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The series did not particularly normalize the act of stalking, but show it in a nuanced way

- Personal interpretation: I am opposed to any kinds of obsessive behaviors that devalue moral boundaries (and somehow some romantic Japanese series that desensitize those actions as attractive is truly repelling). However, this series emphasizes the interrelationships and intertwining pathways of both females and male protagonists. The obsessive actions, albeit ethically oppositional, are justly penalized as can be seen from disillusionment from the male protagonists. His failure to capture the hearts of the person that he truly loves desolates him to the point of nihilism, which is later propitiated by the female character with truly heart-warming and genuine remarks. Her ''live-for-yourself'' mindset shattered his heart, but reinvented him to rethink, relearn and reconceptualize his concept of goals and objectives. He cannot live vicariously through the disguise of someone else, but can proceed life through the rehashed mindset that is more internal, personal and authentic. His behaviors reconfigure him to not be a subordinate to life, but a stalwart adherent to self-understanding and genuine happiness.
- Personal thoughts: From a cursory glance of the title, I thought this series would be a demoralized lense of romantic relationships, advocating for the wrongs instead of denouncing such actions. However, the series seems to somehow simultaneously lambaste the actions of stalking while showcasing it in a more empathetic fashion that truly resonate to the audience. Not a die-hard fan of such genre, but if authentic interpretation recompenses such stigmatized genres, I truly appreciate it. Definitely a good watch

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I was waiting for the bubble to burst, it took 7 episodes for that to happen but I'm glad I stuck with it till the end.

I was wondering how will they walk around the matter without glamorising stalking by mistake or giving the stalker some excuse by the end, they kinda played it safe as I ended up accepting the final without any complaints.

The cast was amazing, and the characters were very likable and lovely, the four colleagues relationship was what I liked the most, I found myself enjoying the time they showed them caring for each other and helping each other out more than the romance.

Overall very enjoyable series, I just wish they made it a little shorter as the first 6 episodes are basically the same till the 7th where everything started to unfold ~~

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Love story based on manga. Nishina who seems sweet on the outside has a weird hobby of stalking and taking pictures of Fujiko in secret. Obviously shocked and terrified, Fujiko avoided any him after discovering the truth. In later episodes, Nishina confesses the reason why he began stalking her thinking that he's not doing anything wrong as he was never "being violent" towards her. After some distance, Fujiko recognized that his actions had good intentions and finally had the courage to confront him so that she can move forward with her life. The story ends with Nishina trying to start fresh with Fujiko on more honest and respectful terms.

Great acting, the lead actors were pleasing to watch and as a Yabuki Nako fan, I'm happy to see her in the drama.

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Ikemen Overload: Koseki Yuta is Freaking HOT!

I remember this guy from Calm Seas and Beautiful Days with you.. He was a sight for sore eyes- not only handsome but ever so charming. To me he overshadowed the main leads and I wanted to see more of him.. so luckily this series popped up.

Is the guy a sociopath to be so charming? Normally men that hot are players and toss multiple women around instead of obsessing over one. For one such man to obsess over one woman in this world means he has mental problems? How sad. Also, when someone obsesses over a person and stalks them, it’s usually because they cannot get close to them - the unavailability makes the mind go crazier- more like an early childhood parental abandonment wound. But Nishina coming close to the Fujiko San and developing a friendly neighborly relationship usually should mean this obsessive feelings go down because reality has a sobering effect- usually obsession is based on a fantasy and distance that builds as a result of not having a close relationship to that person despite the desire. But this series shows Nishina obsessing a lot even after interacting everyday with her which is rather strange. Stalking results from control issues- the person doesn’t see their object of desire in a loving way of wanting their freedom and happiness through free will, but rather wants to possess the person like an object. It’s sad. Even though Nishina is developing a good relationship with his person of desire, he still can’t let go of his secret craziness and obsession- his public person is truly sweet, but his private expressions are straight up weird.

And dude.. clean up your apartment of all the crazy photos and video monitoring equipment when you have a snoopy brother or snoopy everyone who wants to blow your cover. Why would you have all those pictures of your neighbor on the wall when they can come in any moment and it can destroy your entire relationship? If he had kept that mess on lock then no one would even know his intentions. Seriously though, if Nishima had gotten rid of all his stalking evidence and made his apartment like a normal home, then he could have had an actual serious relationship with the person he obsesses about 24/7. Why did he have to blow it by having all these pictures of Fujiko San on his wall and her popsicle sticks, strands of hair and other weird stuff? She actually liked him, and they kissed. If he had at least created the facade of being normal they could have had an actual relationship. It’s kind of annoying to watch Nishina ruin his own chances with his own weird obsession. Why obsess over photographs when you have the actual person in front of you? Even when she’s there he’s taking her pictures like a stalker or fan- like dude she’s right there throwing herself at you, why don’t you enjoy her company instead of taking sneaky pictures like a weirdo?! What is up with this dude. I want to shake Nishina and say, “She’s already in love with you, man. What the heck is your problem?”... It’s like seeking an image of the person when they’re right in front of you.

Most stalkers never get so “lucky” where the woman they’re stalking is actively in love with them. Usually the person wants nothing to do with them. But this stalker has to be the stupidest (and hottest) one that ever lived. He dug his own grave. Wait, why am I giving advice to the stalker?

Who knows but my goodness Nishina is so handsome. My rating has inflated just for his good looks and charm. Ikaemen is a real phenomenon. But seriously where are all these incredibly hot anime looking Japanese men hiding?

But what if he wasn’t young, rich, successful, and so hot? What is if he was ugly, fat, sweaty, bald, and middle aged? The stalking is still a symptom of a serious mental illness.

Speaking of stalking, isn’t most of romance a milder form of stalking? Like Fujiko san’s coworker, or the sexual harassment guy, or the many other problematic male employees. Of course Nishina is over the top but society considers a milder form of stalking to be acceptable. When the romance copilot thinks of each other and stalks them in different ways, wondering if each other is thinking about them etc. Isn’t it all the same thing? There is an obsessive element in romance too… the same possessiveness, jealousy, controlling aspect.

A really stupid dialogue in Episode 10 between Fujiko’s junior female colleague who’s aggressively obsessed with romance/sidekick and Sakamoto San, a male colleague: “You like Fujiko san don’t you?”
Sakamoto San: “it feels wrong …like I’m taking advantage of her when she’s weak”
Junior female sidekick: “huh?! Isn’t that love? Are you OK as you are? Honestly, she doesn’t see you as a man at all, Sakamoto.” - this line exposes this weird double standard where men are supposed to stalk a bit otherwise they won’t be seen as a man, but not too much otherwise they’ll be called a stalker and sent to the police. This female colleague is so annoying- she’s the one pairing people together, and then she tells Nishina she’s calling the police on him. She’s so annoying and just wants drama.

Episode 8: But why does Nishina like Fujiko so much? She’s a regular random woman and he acts like he’s never seen a female before in his life. Why is he in love with her? His back story seems to start with her- “I met her 4 years ago”- it’s as if he decided to take up stalking as a hobby and found a random female to latch onto. He’s so good looking and successful- surely he would have been approached by many women already. But why this one like she was chosen by random? It makes no sense! (More on that below)

Despite the fact that Nishina San is off his rocker, there is something innocent I see in him- like a child. It must be the actor- he’s so good. Even though his role is odd and doesn’t make sense even for a stalker (getting into a relationship with the object of desire and continuing to stalk as if he’s a distant fan), I don’t sense any pretense in the actor- it’s like he’s totally earnest in this role and it somehow makes it feel real.

Why does Fujiko San have like 3-4 men after her one after the other? It’s an interesting juxtaposition where the pursuit of romance by men is all stalkerish in some sense.

I wonder why doesn’t the series explore more of Fujiko San’s mixed feelings for Nishina San? They just make her scared of Nishina after she sees his photo shrine and then that’s it. She was in love with Nishina- why don’t they explore more of the complexity of her emotions rather than pretending she’s perfectly fine after he’s gone? Like come on man why not listen to what he has to say? And get a proper backstory from the guy like why he started this mess in the first place. Because his episode 8 backstory was nonsense where he acts like an alien that came to planet earth and decided to stalk the first female he laid eyes upon.

Ok he later explains how she talked him off a ledge when he was about to end it all. But somehow magically she doesn’t remember him at all? After seeing his face up close and hearing his voice? Would you not remember such a person in such an intense situation even if it was 4 years ago?

Then Fujiko San’s brother says something interesting, that even though Nishina San had a wall full of her photos and it was kind of creepy, it’s not like he did anything to harm her, quite the opposite actually. He was protecting her. At least so he thought until he scared her away. Now if you want to see a real stalker, the weird chubby dude who stalks her in the beginning is quite the creep. Nishina San wasn’t a harmful type- he even honestly admitted his stalking to her younger brother, but he did get carried away. It’s.. a stalker with a heart of gold? Or am I just falling for his incredibly good looks once again?

But Nishina San says something incredibly wise in the end: “I think I avoided facing myself by leaning on Fujiko.”

I started getting annoyed at Fujiko San in the end- Nishina San when takes a knife for her- gives a dying lecture stalker to stalker… I somehow wanted her to accept his feelings. I felt his pain more- the pain of avoiding myself by obsessing over another. Even though I have been in her position before, I found myself empathizing with him more.

As per Nishina San’s dad, he was always too kind since he was a kid, lacking in assertiveness. It seems he was always putting others before himself, and looking for a reaction in them- the people pleasing trauma wound from trying to please the overbearing perfectionist parent. Then as his old self died that day, it seems he took on a new unavailable “parent” in protecting/stalking Fujiko San, and lost himself again. Interestingly he was on the same wavelength as Fujiko San who was also lacking in assertiveness and pleasing the people around her, as if she had no will of her own, and no control over her own life. One has to live for themselves and not sacrificing their own will for others.

Even despite their love for each other in the end (who does Fujiko San love exactly- the people pleasing stalker version of Nishina?), Nishina San realizes he can’t keep living like that anymore and needs to build himself up in a new way and face himself and face things head on. He ends up being a former stalker with a heart of gold. He goes on to do great things building his company in developing countries, and stands on his own two feet. I believe the initial suicide attempt and subsequent stalking was a distraction for him to not face the pressures of his high profile life as an heir to his father’s company. Then he faced himself… wow this story ended up being a lot deeper than I had originally thought. My rating is going up. Omgggg I just can’t with this Nishina character I keep falling more deeply for him in each scene…

The last scene is everything- I was wishing for Nishina San to come back and have a picnic with Fujiko San once again. I cried tears of joy. Yokattaaaaa!!

P.s: is it just me or does Yabuki Nako (the actress who plays the romance obsessed junior coworker) look almost exactly like Haruka Fukuhara (Secret Mekover)?

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