Love in the Big City (2024)

Yeong's worst enemy....

This series had me until episode 6 and then it just was a dull hum until the end. It's was a beautiful realistic story. One of the greatest joys was watching Yeong move from being self indulgent over exhuberent college kid to a self aware realist, a published writer. This is also the greatest sadness. He drew on his experiences, his environment and poured it into his writing. Along the way he lost his sparkle.

Gyu Ho and Nam Gyu both suffered the same fate. Yeong's inability to accept love without expectations caused him to lose two people who truly love him. It seems all his relationships were doomed due to his desire to have the razzle dazzle fireworks to continue throughout, without being able to accept the mundane. Only after they were over, would he be able to see what he truly lost and regretted. Not knowing his true self and his inability to be alone encouraged two relationships that should never have been. Habibi and Yeong Su came with hidden baggage, one abusive and the other just sad. Yeong Su lived in shadows and manipulated Yeong's niaivete to live in his internalized homophobia. Habibi, with a hidden wife and child, embarks on a journey with him, hoping to capture a bit of Yeong's sparkle to relieve his boredom. Seeing him too drunk and overworked, Yeong chooses himself and walks away. Both relationships were poor choices to facing a life of solitude and expected failures.

His mother is shown to have moved from denial, abhorring, to knowing, to minimally discussing. She doesn't accept his life but still loves her son.

The real charmers, the electricity powering his life, were his close group of friends and roomate Mi Ae. Yet, even with them, some bits of his life were closed. His HIV status is only shown to be discussed with Gyu Ho, who loved him enough to truly accept him as he is. Gyu Ho, after the cowardly way Yeong breaks up with him, never contacts him again. Though, through the bartender at their favorite spot, he let's Yeong know, he is still loved. Not yet ready to make any contact, in the end, it is his friends that he is seen enjoying the fireworks.

The story was beautifully told, and with flashbacks in the last two episodes, we get a fuller history of the reality of his best relationship, Gyu Ho. The sad part for me is that he began to let his status have an effect on him and as he took stock of his life, became more subdued. The last two episode felt like a gradual slide down from the high.

Every character was skillfully brought to life. Yeong was a free spirited over the top whitty self accepting non judgemental dreamer who was scared to dream and Nam Yoon Su killed it. This is a must see at least once.

Note to directors and editors at large:
Flashbacks: This is how it's supposed to be done. Ever flashback should reveal something new and actually propel the story being told.

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Moments of brilliance, buried in mediocrity

I approached "Love in the Big City" both eager and guarded, as one who steps into a garden rumoured to bloom with rare flowers, dreading the thorns beneath. And indeed, my patience soon withered/waned under its oppressive sorrow and despair. A suffocating pall of misery clung to the gay characters. The very air seemed heavy and coagulated. And yet, I cannot, in good conscience, deny the actors their due. Their performances were of such distinction, such disciplined passion, that they elevated the poor script

Of those who graced the stage/screen, Nam Yoon Su did shine with a peculiar radiance. His readiness to partake, without the least restraint of feigned modesty or hesitation, in the delicate and tender manifestations of carnal affection between men, was an uprising against the profane doctrine of homophobia, gnawing ever at the fabric of society. Each kiss, each quivering proximity, was a venture into the "forbidden" and a courageous unveiling of a man's innermost self before another. Stunned I stood, for here were men, yielding mutually and entering the blessed harmony where desire is met with desire, or flame answers flame. Few were the sights that could rival the fair and beautiful scene

Having paid homage to the commendable virtues, I must, with sober and judicious mind, now dissect the manifold imperfections of "Love in the Big City." The narrative faltered at its threshold. Therein, a "straight" identifying woman, she whose eyes roved with lecherous and unbecoming intent on men, trespassed into the charged social space of a gay bar/club, a haven purposed for the free and boundless flowering of same-sex desire (31:07 of episode 1). This is no mere lapse in judgment, but a flagrant assault on the sanctity of single-sex spaces

What cause had the authors and producers for the unceremonious reference to HIV? HIV is not divine chastisement or a gay disease. The military doctor's diagnosis presumed a manner of transmission he himself deemed improbable. "Are you a top or a bottom? The truth is, the chances of spreading HIV to a sex partner are low" (39:50 of episode 5). Whence we may conclude that to afflict a gay character with the blight of HIV, while all else in his life proceeds unimpeded by the ravages of the disease, notwithstanding its low transmissibility or the accessibility of "curative" measures, is to commit an injustice altogether superficial, contrived to stir the blood of the audience and cast aspersion on the inclinations of gay men

Methinks it a wearying contrivance that "straight" identifying women are the sole passage through which the lives of gay men are revealed. A stranger to the sting of homophobia befriended a gay man and claimed the right to utter his sorrows. Is his voice feeble? Can it not speak for itself? Or is it that the ears of society are closed to the truth, unless it be spoken by one it takes to be "safe" and unthreatening to the established order? Be that as it may, the time is ripe for gay men and gay women to gather in brotherly and sisterly concord and recount the trials and joys of their lived experiences. They could find in one another a steadfast, compassionate friend

Evermore were the gay characters denied the solace of a blissful end. I marvel not. From the dawn of civilization, gay existence has been granted provisional legibility within the public sphere on condition that it be sentenced to a life of bitterness, celibacy, or exile. The possibility of societal tolerance rests on the disavowal of collective joy/happiness, the desexualization and deradicalization of same-sex physical intimacy, and the proscription of a viable, enduring future

There is an urgent need for narratives in which gay joy/happiness is the norm, however much they strain against the limits of the prevailing regime of plausibility. It is in their defiance of said plausibility that we can affirm the radical banality of gay flourishing, a mode of being so simple and unremarkable in its presence that it precedes the demand for justification

TL;DR I have, after deliberation, settled on a score of 6.5/10

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