Love in the Big City

A fresh perspective

Honestly my expectations were sky high but while watching ep 1, especially in the middle of the episode I kinda found some scenes cringe, so I almost dropped it. Also when it showed more friendship/roommates dynamic I kinda was uninterested because I thought it would be solely romance about two people. But thankfully I completed 2nd ep and was hooked. I was rooting for 1st cp and than the next and finally realized, this was not just a love story but story about love in life. So many people come and go and it’s very common for people to date many people over the years. I really loved the research guy cp, when he said to break up & go young punched him, his eyes looked painful, like he was hurting bad inside. I could feel his pain of unable to accept himself and how he was lost and hurting. I loved nurse guy cp too, loved how it showed many dynamic of dating and how over time, the fire is lost even though the love is still there but there are so many moments when you question it. I have never been in a relationship so it made me realize a lot about love. Go young was a relatable character, not perfect but very real, sometimes we don’t know how to appreciate the love given until it’s too late. So all in all, absolutely loved it and it made me reflect a lot in life too, also loved his friendship with 3 other guys and his ex roommate. There were so many good parts but gonna end it here. Hope there is 2nd season

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Start from episode 4 or 5

Honestly, the whole series would've been great. I really didn't like the first 4 episodes, they were definitely tiring and really uninteresting. They didn't have any value and acted like fillers so the show would have more episodes. Besides story line with Miae, son-mother relationship and Go Young's "religious trauma" - if you even can call that because it was not fully explained - they were just shitty. It would definitely fit in one or maybe two episodes, instead of four. Many other novel based series just cut most (if not all) of the unnecessary scenes out.
In the last episode the story line was jumping from Go Young's and Gyuho's trip to Thailand and his trip with Habibi. Why couldn't it be the case for 2(3) relationships that were in the first episodes (if we include the random guys that had 2 minutes of screen time). Changing the story line of novels in shows is such a common thing, why not do it here? The HIV thing was a really random, but if done correctly it honestly could've been the main point of the show since the beggining.
To touch down on the production and acting itself, I can say that I liked it? The thing that threw me off is the scene in the second episode where Go Young was using a lash curler. I feel like the producers or the directors just yelled "act like the most stereotypical gay man" and Nam Yoonsu just had to do it. The stereotypes are definitely showing during some scenes and it sometimes was unbearable to watch, but overall I don't think it was bad.
For a show that has a cast known for being in Netflix shows and winning many awards for acting, I expected something better. Definitely won't rewatch

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the best of the best korean bl

It is a story that from beginning to end is deep and cruel. shows how you don't necessarily have to share a blood bond with someone for them to be your family and refuge It shows us how life goes on and sometimes we are the ones left behind thinking about what we could have done well and what we couldn't. It shows us the prejudiced love that some parents have where, blinded by this, they end up hurting and damaging the lives of their children. They show us how a relationship can have love but that doesn't mean they will be together forever. They show us how people are going to come into our lives who are going to leave their mark on us, whether for better or worse, but who are going to help us develop as people.

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Necessary yet Mostly Aimless & Long-winded

1. Intro
I have always believed that realistic (usually sad) stories are necessary. While they may not always be a joyful/exhilarating experience, they are important to open our eyes to the experiences of others to give us more perspective and empathy. However, I felt that this story was unnecessarily long. I don't think the point it tried to make was worth the eight 50-minute long episodes. It was completely exhausting and it could have been done in a movie or a shorter series length.

2. Story
Aimless. That was what I thought of the story as a whole. It introduced elements that didn't really go anywhere and didn't really influence much. The most striking to me was his mother, her health, death, and her sending Yeong away. Of course send him away would have effects on him, but it was never shown. He was, in many ways, untraumatized by the event. Her death barely affected him at all. The story just moved on to the next romantic interest. Why bother showing her at all? I'm really just bothered by the lack of cause and effect by much of the story.

I do, however, appreciated that the story had different arcs, that we were following his life as he moved through it. It wasn't just, "will he get the guy?" Of course, this wasn't a BL like many have said. It's a gay romance. More of just a drama if you ask me, but semantics. I like that we were shown his romance to the three earlier guys instead of just one guy like the BL's do. However, he doesn't really learn anything from each one unlike the story likes to imply. He is still the same unlikeable person he was. The only real time we see anything close to any realization is by the end when he said all he wanted was love and even that was an unclear, falsely poignant mess. The story tries so desperately to be deep when it really is just aimless, which irritated me.

Yes, a story doesn't necessarily have to involve deep (or obviously stated) growth in the same way the adventure genre tends to do, but the MC still has to go somewhere and his last lines felt far too late. It really did feel like eight 50-minute episodes were far too long to string the viewers along for a flat conclusion. Mind you, I liked that Gyu Ho did not return in his life to neatly tie everything in a pretty bow. I think stories where the romance does not succeed is as important as the ones that do succeed especially when the relationship/s are so obliviously toxic.

I think Yeong's effectivity as the MC whose central theme in uncertainty of one's self and one's goals is fine. He certainly showed how much of an "uncheerable" person he was because of his countless self-sabotage and lack of growth, but the story failed him. I feel like the story having more cohesion (the story elements showing more of its causes and effects on him) and not just "this is his life and we are watching it unfold" could have ended in a more satisfying resolution---him realizing how unsure he was about what he wanted in life.

3. Acting
The actors were good. They were believable. They didn't feel like friends who were just goofing around like some other shows.

4. Music
Nothing much to comment. It was fine.

5. Rewatch value
It's fine to watch once as it was a drag and well the main theme wasn't really expressed well enough.

6. Overall
To sum it up, the story could have been better if the story elements (MC's experiences) in previous episodes actually affected his actions later. It did not so it all felt pointless. And if the main theme was more reinforced by the story and was realized earlier (in a shorter format) it could have been better. It all just felt too flat. He realized he was unsure of his life. Ok.

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Go Young's Tragic Autobiography

The best way to describe this show is snapshots of our main character Go Young's (Nam Yoonsu) life. We first meet him in college, where his queerness makes him a loner. This doesn't stop his pursuit of love, but not all romantic encounters are created equal. Go Young finds again and again that love requires not just the right person, but also the right circumstances. In his quest to figure out what love looks like and how to make relationships work, we see him continue to get his heart broken, both by his own faults and his partners'.

I think what really sold me on this show was the way it was done. It felt like it was being told as if Go Young had written his own autobiography, where he emphasized what he found important and left out the details that seemed too mundane. We get glimpses into his life and his relationships, without ever getting to see his day-to-day life. What happens in an episode may be a few weeks or a year, depending on how important the events felt to Go Young himself. Each relationship he enters presents new challenges, and unable to navigate them, Go Young continues to feel tired and alone. I did not expect such depth of issues on queerness coming from a Kdrama, and it was done beautifully. The issues were never taken lightly or laughed at, and the relationships were portrayed in such a realistic way that it truly felt like this could be someone's autobiography. It was unfortunately sadder than I had anticipated, and the realism just emphasized the tragedy, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

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A Powerful, Beautiful, Gritty Work of Art

This is one powerful, beautifully written and wonderfully produced work of art.

I want to say it was not your typical BL but in all honesty it was not a BL at all. Had it had a happy ending it would have been ruined.

This series touched me all the way to my core. So many of the damaged, broken, painful relationships felt horribly familiar.

I have decided to consider this a modern day Asian version of Maurice (E M Forster/Merchant Ivory) except there was no 'sort of' happy ending.

As someone who has lived a life that seems to always be faintly touched by sadness I identified fully with Go Young's character. My manic depressive nature reveled in the absolutely blue tone and mood of this whole production.

For gay men living today the series left few stones unturned. It beautifully renders the reality of guilt-ridden, devoted, not-so-devoted relationships with sometimes good and sometimes unworthy mothers. It touches on the many lousy paternal relationships. With No Yeong Su's character it honestly depicts those of us who hate ourselves for being so different and so hated by many in the world that we never ever gain enough courage to live our lives openly and honestly. The scene at the end of the relationship when No Yeong Su is on the floor just accepting the beating broke my heart. It was as if he felt so absolutely unworthy that he simply accepted his fate. The series dealt with those of us that are so damaged that when we are in a good and nurturing relationship we don't realize it and inevitably damage or end them only to realize, too late, that the relationship was a good thing.

I almost forgot to include a major character—RELIGION!
How could I when religion has played such a major, horrifying, world hatred-and self-hatred inducing role in the lives of so many members of the lgbtq+ community? But I guess, I could be forgiven because while it was there it pretended to assume the role of a background character. Introduced by Go Young's mother, insidious and serpent-like it slithered its way through her life and his impacting both because clearly there had been a moment when she had him 'caught up' in her efforts to 'fix him'. She spent so much of her time on screen praying for a miracle that never came.

I could go on and on but I think it best to stop here so that viewers can unravel and experience this for themselves.

I want to thank the production team for creating such a wonderful series. I want to thank Sang Young Park, the writer of the novel for doing such a beautiful job of realistically depicting the typical, unvarnished life of many gay men. I want to thank the actors for an amazing, amazing job especially Nam Yoon Su and Na Hyun Woo for their powerful performances.

On x.com user Rafa @dongttaro wrote "BREAKING NEWS: Love In the Big City (2024) received a 55 minute standing ovation from me in my living after watching it for the 3th(sic) time" …

Were we in a theatre, I too would give this a 55-minute standing ovation.

As for watching it again… it really touched too close to home 😭 I would end up drowning in my own grief. In time, I will probably find the courage to watch the happier moments at the beginning of Go Young's relationships.

I will end with this… I cannot recommend this series enough. To anyone coming across this review, I say please watch Love In the Big City. It is truly brilliant.

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it's a commentary on everything really

This drama is a heavyyyyyy on commentary. I'm gonna list what stuck with me the most:

1) on social circles and friendship
2) on the status quo and consciously avoiding it
3) on trauma bonds and their lifetimes
4) on DL men.
5) on living with an illness that defines your life, controls your life and sometimes makes decisions about your life for you
6) on manipulation and toxic relationships
7) on guilt, regret and mental health
8) on what it means to have a home
9) on what queer community looks like and how important it is for survival
10) on the plight of the troubled writer

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A GREAT SERIES!! MUST WATCH

The series dives deep into the nature and realism of love, tackling it in four distinct themes from the book:

1. Friendship (Platonic)
2. Family (Filial)
3. Romantic Love
4. Self

Unlike most BL stories I’ve come across, this one feels refreshingly authentic. There’s no idealized fantasy here; instead, it captures a raw take on love—especially for someone who’s still figuring out their identity.

It’s a great series (and a read) that explores a variety of issues, especially around romantic love and Go Young’s attachment struggles. Each of his three relationships reveals a new self-discovery, reflecting how much love mirrors our own self-understanding. In reality, romantic love often feels fleeting, needing patience, understanding, and a clear sense of self to know if it’ll truly last.

Go Young’s imperfection makes him relatable. His character is flawed, which somehow makes him even more compelling. Though each of his love interests is unique, he always ends up doing the same thing—falling headlong for someone he just met and letting his imagination run wild. In his first relationship, especially with Mr. Photographer, he over-invested despite not feeling much in return, causing Mr. Photographer to falsely hope and change himself for Go Young, which led to his own downfall.

"If obsession isn’t love, then I have never loved." This quote sums up Go Young perfectly. His intense infatuation with love itself drives him to act rashly, often in ways that harm both himself and others. His obsession with Mr. Fish went so far that he nearly ended his own life, showing how his view of love spiraled into something damaging.

As they say, "If you fall in love, fall for the person—not just the idea of being loved."

Then comes Gyu Ho. Compared to Mr. Fish, Gyu Ho’s relationship with Go Young feels plain and routine. Their lives revolve around daily work and chores; there’s none of the thrill or risk that marked Go Young’s time with Mr. Fish. They rarely go out or even make time for romantic moments. At first, Go Young feels they’re growing apart because of this lack of excitement, but after their breakup, he realizes Gyu Ho was his first true love—they actually matched in a way the others hadn’t. With Mr. Photographer, only Mr. Photographer was invested. With Mr. Fish, his commitment issues tore them apart.

In contrast, Go Young and Gyu Ho took the time to build something real. They embraced each other’s imperfections and learned to adjust together. They found that love itself isn’t flawless, and neither of them were either. But, despite their efforts, they kept breaking up repeatedly, and after a while, it’s hard to keep fixing something that’s been shattered too many times. One of the book’s most striking metaphors is a scene with a lantern: the lantern shines and rises but ultimately falls short and burns out—much like their love.

In the end, Go Young realizes that love is a journey, and we shouldn’t let romantic love define who we are. By the series’ end, all of his relationships have faded, but his friends, T-ARA and Mi Ae, remain. He sees that friendships can be forever, while romance sometimes can’t.

Ultimately, he learns that love is complex, that self-acceptance is vital, and that even if he doesn’t find a ‘forever’ partner, he has his friends—his true constants in life.

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One of the best kbl this year ngl !

I really like the drama especially the actors , they're doing really great job and brave enough to take part in this project , especially to Nam Yoonsu and Jin Hoeun , i really appreciated your great work for making this drama very interesting and worth it to watch ! But the thing is about the ending is very unexpected because i thought its gonna be a good and happy ending because all of bl drama i've watched is different from this one but still , interesting to watch and i really hope there will be a season 2 since all the fans including me wants it too !! Please please please make a season 2 for us because we still curious and want to know what will happen between Gyuho and Goyoung relationship because i know they still inlove each other yet !! #WEWANTSEASON2 #LITBCS2 #GYUHOGOYOUNGSUPREMACY #NAMYOONSUJINHOEUN

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Bitter sweet

Beautiful, the story and the acting. Everything
about this series was beautiful. It felt so real, the dialoge and the struggles Go Yeong had. The way we could see his growth, slow but steady. Nam
Yoon Su truly is a amazing actor and although its not the ending I had hoped for this will be on my
favourite list.

The relationships he had where all different and everytime we could see the way he had learned from the last relationship. The way he grows over the years from a student who drinks and goes clubbing and sleeps around to a person who knew that he will maybe never find love but who tries to be okay with himself.
My favourite relationship he had was with Gyu Ho, them breaking up was sad and the flashbacks made it bittersweet.

His friends were amazing (which is an understatement) and seeing his mother change after all that happened felt real to me.

All in all an amazing series.

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Eternal love, and how it's portrayed through its characters

This drama is not perfect but I can't help but rate it a 10. I had high expectations coming into this drama, and it didn't disappoint; when watching this drama I could easily relate to our main protagonist and the reason he fell in love with all his past lovers, I could help myself from following in love with their characters too, I understood his motive and this drama well portrays a 3 dimensional character that has flaws but those flaws don't make him insufferable. Through our the series I wonder to myself how can his life get worse and as it got worse I just couldn't stop thinking how he pitiful. I love the dynamics that all the characters showed in the show especially our main and gyu ho, and how in the last episode we get to see what happened in Bangkok and how that a big impact on our main character. The ending to me was sad but I loved it because he finally realized the meaning of love and what love is to him but in the lead up to that most of the people he grew to love had to be an example of sacrifice and that was portrayed so well. I love the drama as a stand alone I really don't want a season two because I believe it would leave the message that is being given the justice it deserves, because the protagonist story is over and he has developed through all the romances and the show.
I love how they didn't only show the romantic love of this drama but also platonic love between friend and as well as family love, this was a hard watch but not in a bad way but in a way where each scene made you want to burst into tears just hoping our main character would finally get his happy ending. The bittersweet ending that was given was so heartbreaking but so really fo many queer people, especially living in Korea at the moment.
The sound track was absolutely beautiful, and I love how they made reference to K will in the drama. Overall I would want people to watch this and create their own opinions about the ending what it ment to the viewer. This was an amazing watch and I would love to see more great works like this come from korea especially ones that are made by queer people themselves, Because this is understanding. I hope they win an award for this because you can't deny this is a huge step in the right direction for the queer community of Korea and maybe even all around Asia. So if you are conflicted if you should watch this or not please do because you surely won't regret it!!!!

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An Incessant Surge of Emotional Upheavel!

This show has left me in anguish, despair, hope, loneliness and a relentless magnitude of emotional turmoil, that is going to take ages for me to heal. Every line, every scene, every emotion cuts skin deep and makes you relive the life of the protagonist, as you sincerely long for his life to get better. It may open up unhealed wounds for some, and if God forbid, you may have lived the life of an LGBT individual, be ready for sleepless nights that the situations flashed in the show might punch your guts with!

This show, in its innate sincerity have served one of the RAWEST and REALISTIC forms of representation of queer life. Every episode made me relive the adolescent joy of new found relationship, and at the end of the next episode left me in absolute emptiness as though it's narrating my own life ordeals. It's as RAW as it can get. The fear of losing hope, the feeling of uncertainties in every step of your adult life, losing friends, dealing with the harsh denial of parents, dating a strongly religious and closeted partner, and also the most taboo topics such as HIV, the show absolutely doesn't shy from any of it!

In a world of heteronormative feminine centric BL dramas, that encash majorly on the looks and fetishes of its audience completely neglecting the negative repercussions it can have on an adolescent LGBT individual, where they are steered far from reality and make them set extremely unrealistic expectations from both relationship and family, only to pave the way for depression and disappointment in future, this show is a an extremely good and genuine steep that draws the necessary line between fiction and reality. Though I do certainly enjoy the optimism and ray of hope that some traditional BLs give, it sets extremely unattainable expectations which I feel does more harmful than good. The characters are GREY, and may not be reminiscent of your idealistic fictional protagonists.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Even though this show has been a major milestone in how it deals with queer media, I did have some reservations regarding it. The choice of choosing four different directors to direct the four phases of the protagonists life seems a good idea to display the drastic arrays of life, but unfortunately makes it suffer from an incoherent narrative. The hurdles and losses the protagonists encounters through the passage of every two episodes is devastating enough, but it fails to show what impact it has on his mind clearly. People and issues just bluntly come and go, even though that is the way of life, but the initial fervours have little implications on his life moving ahead. Plus even though with the progression of HIV treatment, little has been shown on the implications of it on his health, though that may not have been the motive of the author. Packing a decade of the protagonists story in 8 episodes was a bit too fast paced for the audience to actually feel the depth and sensitivity of the most of the issues presented, albeit some viewers like me who have been through the protagonists shoes to understand the gravity of the situations.

THING THAT IRKED ME THE MOST:
I genuinely applaud and commend the leads for their bold and courageous attempt at displaying genuine intimacy and affection and sex drive on mainstream media, but one has to be really careful on what you show and ask for! Even though with the advent of PreP and HIV medications and use of condoms, having shared a decent amount of time in the gay dating pool, I am still of the stern opinion that YOUR PARTNER HAS TO ABSOLUTELY KNOW OF YOUR HEALTH CONDITION BEFORE YOU ENGAGE IN ANY SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH HIM OR HER!! This is downright criminal and the poor soul is going to be traumatised for the rest of his life! And no form of contraceptive and medication have been proven to be 100% effective in prevention!

Thank you for my listening to my rant!

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