Dear Hyeri

Very disappointed, but still good.

I really loved this drama; it was just so so so beautiful. The story touched me; this show's emotions and acting were just something else. I started this show because of Shin Hye Sun; wow, she always amazes me. Obviously, she will continue to be my favorite actress.

I didn't hear about this show until about 4 or 5 episodes were out; I saw Shin Hye Sun on the cover and clicked without reading the description. I totally binged all that was out, instantly loving the show. This led me to eagerly wait for a new episode each week... until I wasn't. Long before it finished coming out, I was already going to rate it 10/10; that's how good I thought it was. But then the story just went so downhill. Needless to say, I'm disappointed in how the show ended. I found myself annoyed the whole last episode.

Overall, I'll say I loved the show because of Hyeri's and Eunho's journey. I just wish the direction of the show went better.

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We should maybe rethink the synopsis?

As many others, I have had a lot of opinions about this drama. From telling a friend that I will slap someone if she doesn’t end up with Joo Hyeon, to ending up seeing the drama from a completely different angle in the end.

We often think of this scenario: She meets two guys. But I have chosen to flip it around. Two guys meet Eun Ho/Hyeri, and we learn about their growth because of her.

Many are talking about Hyun Oh being a red flag. I don’t really think so. He is a good guy, that have taken some really bad choices because of his past. Because, let’s face it: Good people sometimes make shitty decisions and discovers too late that it was wrong. The difference between good people making bad choices vs red flags, are the ability to learn from it and grow as a human.

If we look at Joo Hyeon, he was perfect with Hyeri. I don’t think he would be a good match for Eun Ho. So it was heartbreaking when Hyeri disappeared. But he also changed himself, and there is absolutely happiness for him in the future now that his heart has been opened and healed from his past.

And then we have Eun Ho that couldn’t let go. Firstly, she worked with her ex every day. That makes things more difficult. And they had eight years together, and in a way it felt like their connection was strong. It’s like she breathes Hyun Oh. He is the only one for her. And in all her quirkiness, he is a good fit. Not to forget, the topic in the end: Good and bad break up. The sudden break up, did not give her closure at all. And relationships often take so much longer to heal. So when he came back, she didn’t have the strength to say no. And in the end, that was probably the best choice for her.

But is the story itself perfect? No. It had a bit of a weird flow. A little bit of rewriting here and there, would’ve helped. Her DID didn’t feel completely convincing. And even though I loved Kang Hoon’s character, he wasn’t really necessary for this story to be told. I think most of us got a bit sidetracked buy Ju Hyeon and Hyeri, and wanted that love story to be told, and missing Hyun Oh’s part of the story. I could mention more details, but I think I’ll stop here. I have said the most important things I wanted to say.

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It’s complex but their relationship i can understand.

I don’t think this drama is as bad as some say. The acting is top-notch, and the cinematography is stunning.

The leads’ relationship dynamic is complex yet understandable. While the male lead has toxic traits, he also shows redeeming qualities. His actions, though often unwise, are rooted in a misguided attempt to do what he thinks best for her. He’s a coward who loves her, and she knows that. She hates his cowardice but can’t stop loving him. Their relationship is unhealthy, and they both have a lot going on in their lives that affects them. So yeah, it’s understandable.

Also, people who hates this drama because she doesn’t end up with the sml is completely delusional, do u now get what a DID mean? duh.

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Disappointed to say the least

It’s undoubtedly the worst drama I have ever encountered. It could’ve been an opportunity for writers to give viewers insight on how to overcome a toxic 8+ year relationship. Being able to start anew and somehow meet someone who truly loves you. I’m truly disappointed that she went back to someone who dismissed her so easily as if nothing had ever happened. Not to mention the writers didn’t show Eun-ho work through her mental illness. Super toxic. The one star goes to Shin Hye-sun because she is an incredible actress. Her performance was 10+ stars. It’s too bad that this drama will be a stain for her. Btw, this is the first time I ever leave a one star rating.

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This is not a love story.

Episode 1 starts with that ominous statement and it's true. If you watch this drama thinking that it's a love story, you're likely to be very disappointed. However, if you remove your love story glasses and replace them with "dissociation" glasses, this story is so rich and insightful. It's like a treasure trove.

While Eun Ho is the only one with the official diagnosis, the majority of characters in this story are actually displaying some kind of splintering. Eun Ho's splintering seems to come from a wound related specifically to isolation. Losing her parents at an early age and not trusting the grandmother who took her and her sister in seemed to plant early seeds of fear regarding a lack of social safety net. It's why she seriously overreacts to the possibility that Hye Ri will be isolated if she doesn't push herself to attend the school trip. She's transferring her own fear onto her younger sister instead of recognizing that her sister has a completely different threshold for social needs. The loss of her sister and grandmother is bad enough, but when the man she's imagined sharing her life with walks away without any warning, it's enough to push her into a crisis caused by the full realization of her worst fears. So she creates a second self, another character in the story of her life. By doing this she finds partial escape from the crushing burden she feels and simultaneously alleviates the guilt she carries in regards to the part she played in her sister's disappearance.

Kang Ju Yeon has completely dissociated into his second self when Hye Ri meets him. He has put to death all of his own plans and desires to step into the life he believes his brother would have lived. He's empty and miserable and angry because of it. His first few interactions with Hye Ri showcase glimpses of the resentment and anger just below the surface. But then she says something life changing. She's glad he's alive. And the part of him that he had buried with his brother begins to awaken. And he's lovely. The viewer can't help but want happiness for him. Kang Hoon does a fantastic job of conveying the appeal of the character he plays. For the first time since his brother's death, Ju Yeon allows his real self to want something and it's Hye Ri. Because she's the only thing he's allowed his true self to want, his desire for her is out of proportion to the time they've spent together or the relationship they've built. But she's his best proof that he's still alive. He's willing to leave his entire life for her, because he sees her as a gateway back into his true self.

Hyeon O is leading two completely separate lives. At work and in his past relationship with Eun Ho he's the golden boy, handsome, talented, on the rise. At home, he's a boy who was abandoned by his mother and raised by social outcasts and outlaws. The reason he can't marry Eun Ho is that he can't bear any crossover between his two worlds. If that happened, the people who admire him would know that deep down, he's really that abandoned, unloved little boy with a strange family that can't help him keep up the pretense he's created. He has deep, deep shame and it causes him to lash out cruelly when anyone gets too close to seeing that side of him, even blaming Eun Ho as the source of his embarrassment. Shame always points the finger outwards to distract from the inward wound. He also can't perceive Eun Ho's pain and splintering because of his own. His cruelty in the story is difficult to stomach, and it's understandable that viewers make a villain of him, however, all of his behavior makes sense (not to be read as is excusable) within the context of shame and dissociation.

Ji On may be the only whole character in the story and he serves as a kind of interpreter for Hyeon O, helping him to perceive and understand Eun Ho's behavior and motives.

Hye Yeon is also splintered, divorcing sex from genuine relationship on the one hand and pursuing a man who has no interest in her on the other. Je Yeon's statement that a person only has one heart is both a warning to her and to himself. He can't grow his brother's heart inside his chest to help him want the life his brother might have lived. He only has his own heart. She can't give away slivers of her heart to men who don't cherish them and retain wholeness at the same time.

All of this is set in an industry where people are expected to develop an on air persona separate from their own personality. Eun Ho's disgrace at work happens when her true reactions and personality bleed through into that on air persona. No one has an issue with her having multiple personalities. Her coworkers only cared that she kept the lines between them iron clad. Like Hyeon O. Jeon Jae Yong is another example of a strange kind of splintered personality, where he's a total goofball when he's not behind a camera, but a surprisingly capable anchor in front of it.

We still have two episodes to go, so we'll see how the writers wrap things up. Overall, this story has been fantastic, and the lighting, sound effects, music, and dreamy atmospheric tone all create a sense that the story itself is reflecting the characters urge to splinter in moments of pain and humiliation.

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Confusión, Toxicity & Disappointment

I’m actually flabbergasted at the direction this story took.
I’m just in shock. FL is dealing with so much and has no self respect nor esteem.
ML is an ass**** who doesn’t deserve her
FL shouldn’t have shaken up the SML world like that if she was going to just leave him.
SML became dependent on FL in such a short space of time because she was nice to him?
Then she chooses to be with the ass**** who thought she wasn’t worth telling the truth to and wasted 8 or12 years of her life with
What exactly is the moral of the story here? Beca we’re both in pain I’m going to let you ruin my life? What an outstanding revelation. I’m definitely not finishing this hogwash.

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It’s not ok to be just ok

I'm just going to say it up front. Dear Hyeri is not good. Watchable but it could be so much better. It starts well but the middle was muddled, and the ending was sweet but uninspired. It is not quite bait and switch but at times, it comes close.

Let's take a step back. Mental health as the main focus of a k-dramas is rare. There are several good examples but it is mostly used as a plot device to provide the pro/antagonist with an excuse.

In this case, our FL's Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) was front and centre and forms a very compelling narrative. It allows Shin Hye-sun to showcase her acting abilities. While the first few episodes were, to be honest, confusing and counterintuitive, it is engaging and draws us into a troubled and fascinating world.

The odd thing is that once the FL addresses her condition, the show begins to falter. In part, this is due to the focus shifting from the FL towards the 2 male leads. Don’t get me wrong. Both actors are handsome, and the older ML has the acting credential. The problem lies with the script. Both characters are flawed, especially the 1ML. He dated the FL for 8 years and then dumped her 4 years ago. The excuse was vague and unsubstantiated. He loves the FL and yet hurt her deeply and is a key reason why she developed DID. He is totally clueless about her feelings. It makes him looks like a self centred tool.

In the mean time, the 2ML fells in love with the split personality of the FL. That is all well and good but how he behaves after the FL came out with the DID diagnosis is harder to accept. Both ML’s have their redemption arc but it felt contrived and self serving.

In fact, the script completely changed its tone at around the 2/3 mark. Effectively, we have the first 1/3 being very focused on the mental state of the FL. The second 1/3 has some kind of self-discovery plus flash backs to the start of several key events which path the way to the here and now. The last 1/3 seems to belong to a different show. Eh?

Yes, the revelations and expositions along the way did clear up some of the misunderstanding, but it also highlights how bad the 1ML was. Yet, as soon as they are back together (literally within 1 scene), everything was forgiven and forgotten which I find jarring. They behave like teenagers in love from then on. The show inserted more flashbacks to their happier times and it only reinforced how much the FL loves the ML and how heartless/clueless he was.

Even now, I don’t fully understand his rationale for the break-up. We are told that he doesn’t want to hurt the FL and decides to carry the burden all by himself. Is he talking about his found family? That is BS because the dysfunctional family we were shown doesn’t match up with the present day one. Since the breakup, the horrible grannies become loveable eccentrics. In fact, the FL handled them with ease and they welcomed her into their fold with nary a complain. So, what is this burden the ML is talking about? He also said that he will never marry but he proposed. What gives? This is a gap of 4 years, not 40.

If you watch the last 2 eps separately, it is a very sweet and swoon-y rom-com but when you combine it with the rest, it becomes a confusing mess. This series has potential to be original and groundbreaking but took the easy path in the end.

I suppose the writer-nim wanted to end the show with a conventional HEA ending, but it made the earlier plot largely superfluous. Thought provoking ideas about mental health, love and lost are pushed aside by the stampede of unicorns or reduced to greeting card trite in the end.

It would have been a brave choice to allow the DID plot to run its course. The ending might be unpredictable but I'd take that over the pedestrian and overly sweet one we got. The only other show in recent memory that has a similar course change was Love in Contract with PMY. In that series, the change saved the show. I’m not so sure this time around.

Finally, while the production value is good and the OST decent, the support cast is an odd mix. There are many good-looking actors involved but most of their roles are either shallow, weird and/or unlikeable. I honestly think that one or two of them needs psychiatric help more than the FL. Peace.

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An easy binge, mind the cringe

I have some issues with this drama but overall I was entertained, engaged in the story and found some parts of it to be kind of refreshing as this may be the first drama that shows Dissociative Identity Disorder, that I actually managed to finish.

Things I appreciate:
Mental illness as part of a persons life, not so much stigma focus on treatment and the parts that work.
Found family and friendship.
Pain and suffering,
The female characters
The other male leads
Dimples
Smiles
Scenery

Things that made me role my eyes and lower the score:

Cringe,
Monologs
Deuett like speeches
Use of slow motion
The male leads plotline...

Unnecessary twists towards the end

But overall an easy binge, that almost managed to water my eyes

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Don't watch this with 2X play speed, Not the best drama ever but definitely not the worst.

Edited after I completed watching it for second time:
Alter Hyeri represents only the happy positive characteristics of EH. Though EH was living a life as her younger sister, she didn’t behave as the real HR. Rather she just dressed up as her and did what Real HR dreamt of doing. However while she lived as EH, her EH personality represented her sadness, loneliness and negative characteristics of herself. So her personality fractured into two selves. As HR, she could live a carefree happy life. She didn’t earn any money, she seems confident about her looks and life. She even chose the ideal dream life partner for herself, JY who is only nice to those whom he cares for. On the contrary, as EH, she was dealing with guilt, facing career problem, she was told she was too old or not accomplished enough.
Surprisingly as HR, EH was able to console both JY and his mom. JY was bitter about life and his loss wasn’t acknowledged by anyone, especially by his mom who even blamed him, causing him more pain. Therefore EH also knew how to solve her own issues. The journey of seeking answers often leads us back to ourselves, where the answers have quietly waited all along.
To be happy she decided to live as HR, even moved to the forest where real HR was lost. But ultimately she discovered how wrong her decision was and how she should process her grief. Most importantly her happiness lies in being with the person she loves. And when she poured out her grief, HO listened patiently, holding space for the weight of her sorrow.
After 12 long years, HO ultimately opened up to EH about the burden of his responsibilities and dysfunctional family situation. It seemed so easy that one might wonder, ‘Then why did he wait so long? Why was he so fearful?’. But isn’t fear supposed to be irrational as it often doesn’t follow any logic? And EH knew how to console him. She knew how to handle him when he was overwhelmed.
And to be honest, the real EH possesses uniquely quirky personality that some people might find it irritating or off-putting. But HO finds her endering, he doesn’t hold her back from being herself; instead, he playfully engages with her while attentively tending to her needs.
And even though if JY didn’t win the girl, his healing began after meeting her. He played a vital role in her healing journey as well.

SHS nailed the character as there was four different personalities : 1. Sad EH, 2. Happy EH as HR, 3. EH pretending to be HR and 4. The real EH who exhibits both the positive and negative characteristics of herself.

SHS and LJW shared such a natural chemistry between them. Their chemistry depicted how comfortable EH and HO are together. The portrayals mirrored the warmth and intimacy of their connection and bond.

What truly disappoints me is the abrupt shift in tone within the storyline. The drama was detail-oriented but there was a redundancy of unnecessary details. There were supporting characters who just wasted time, served no purpose. Some were unbearable. The production team just wasted money on them as these characters just annoyed the viewers. EH's healing should've shown with more details. I wouldn’t mind if the story showed jumps forward in time, at least a few months. And her career suddenly seems to go well. So does it mean she was sabotaging her own career by leading a double life?
The proposal scene doesn’t seem to fit there. It could've been implied some other ways.
Though I don’t dismiss his improvement, HO will need input from those around him from time to time, as he still needs to work on his emotional intelligence.He should see a therapist for his own issues. Fortunately he is surrounded by people who adore him. They will surely guide him.

Lastly I really admired Jion as one of the few sane characters in the drama.
Nevertheless, the writer should not feel disheartened. It is a deep story which requires understanding and maturity. She presented a unique story that I found intriguing enough to invest my time in.
9/10.



Review after 1st watch:
The major issue I found in the drama is the pacing and supporting characters.
1. Some characters are not needed, they just annoyed me and wasted time. They didn’t contribute to the storyline at all.
2. Number of episodes is correct as the storyline didn’t require more episodes.But, in episode 9-10 the whole drama became so dark. EH's pain was portrayed in such a raw way that any viewer can feel it deeply. The anticipation felt so unbearable only to meet the sudden shift of tone. From episode 11-12 drama was filled with lighthearted moments which I find unsettling. These episodes are also enjoyable but I couldn’t enjoy them properly as I still remembered what happened in previous episodes. If one binge watches it in the future, s/he might not feel same way. But a person who was waiting for the episodes for a week may feel the frustration. I think the major problem of a drama should be depicted in the middle of its storyline. So, it should have been shown in episodes 6-7, and then the tone should have started to shift gradually. Then it would have become more believable.
Summary:
The main story is about 3 people with their past trauma. Though there are 4 lead characters, 3 of them got more importance and one character didn’t develop at all ( since that character was perfect all the time, had past issues but overcame them already). The story main focuses on JEH, a 37-year-old with her own issues of childhood and adult life. It is a story of her grief, loneliness and career problem in a male-centric job industry. She is seen without any family or friends. Her EH personality is suffering with responsibilities of life. On the other hand, her HR personality is happy with leading a simple tension free life. She is confident with her looks, straightforward and most importantly happy. I find EH is an extrovert and her EH personality stopped being herself and through HR personality she revealed those latent traits. Also EH is an wise character. Though as EH, she couldn't solve her issues, she knew how to console JY and his mom as HR personality. Later she realised what she herself wants in life to be happy. Sometimes we are already capable of solving our own issues, we are just not aware of that.
Then there is JHO. He is a flawed character. He loves EH and has a pretty bad way of expressing it. I found him an introvert. He has problem in communicating his emotions. He is not a book boyfriend material, not a green flag character mostly shown in many dramas nowadays. But also he is not narcissistic, abusive, toxic blah blah blah. This character had to grow up pretty fast as he was neglected by his father and abandoned by mothers. He surely made mistakes but those are not so bad that he can't be forgiven.
And then there is KJY. He seems very reserved. Deep down we know he is barely living his life. After the death of his elder brother, his grief stricken mom blamed him. From then he is living just to carry the responsibility of his late brother. He fall in love with HR very fast which is unlikely as he is handsome and highly accomplished but again, his good looks or success in job field doesn’t lessen the burden on his heart. He is not a green flag either. He was engulfed in his grief and anger for so long until HR enters into his life as a ray of sunshine.
This drama shows a realistic approach of their character growth. Suppose a character has issues to overcome but certainly s/he will require time to do so. Their progress can't be denied just because the person couldn’t become the ultimate best version of them. S/he still has miles to go but they should be encouraged and guided by others.
Now what I loved:
1. SHS. You can watch it just for her. She was brilliant. She depicted the journey of EH in such a lovely way. EH is not a very likeable character, rather a broken soul. But you can feel her pain, you can't stop falling in love with her.
2. SHS and LJW chemistry : Though I found LJW underperforming here, the chemistry between them felt natural as a couple who were dating for a long time. You can feel the angst and longing between them as a couple who can't move on from each other.
3. Kang Hoon's emotional scenes.
4. Cinematography and details.
Honorable mentions: BHY and her antics, Supervisor Kim and lastly Min Young.

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What is even the plot????

when i first heard that Shin Hye-Sun would be in this drama i knew for a fact that this show would be amazing, every other show that she has been in has just been a 8+ in rating for me! her prominent titles being Mr. Queen an Angel's last mission : Love!

this show by far is just simply confusing! sha has D.I.D after encountering trauma of her sister disappearing/dying. the show never fully goes into depth about what truly happened to the sister, we are simply left in the dust to fend for ourselves. The body was never found, and she also was never found! they hinted at the sister still being alive and i thought they would show that in the show but no!

The relationship was also just a no for me, i get that he didn't want to introduce her to his messed up family but like what even was that relationship, just very toxic and yet they always went back to each other! the only reason i finished these series is because of the 2nd ML, hoping that the writer does some justice to the show by at least making her end up with him but no, she had to end up with the other dude!

there was never actual closure of the characters, the whole plot just felt rushed! they had an amazing cast with impeccable acting and yet they ruined it by giving them one of the worst if not the worst freaking story of the year! i don't know WHAT the author was thinking while making this show but clearly they weren't in their right mind.

do yourself a favor and DON'T and i repeat DON'T waste your time watching this show. i wasted multiple weeks watching this while it was airing only for it be one of the worst shows I've ever watched!

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Are we entering the era of AI scripts?

I am very conflicted, lost and angry about this series.
I was hooked from the first episode. The story was promising, the characters seemed interesting and complex. We started of with seemingly clingy and annoying FL and capable and loving ML. Throughout the next episodes we come to know more about each character, we let them into our hearts, they become three-dimensional with their traumas and reasonings. Eun Ho with Hye Ri grows on us, we start to like them. At the same time, we begin to see and understand problems with Hyeon O.

However.

Instead of the story focusing and staying on Eun Ho / Hye Ri (the DID, the trauma of loosing everyone she ever loved - parents, sister, grandmother; the problem of not having any friends, any hobbies, etc.), it swerves. It skims through uninteresting, unnecessary side characters, it brazenly shifts and fixes on Hyeon O's story, His history, His reasonings, His trauma. More we learn about him, more despicable he becomes in our eyes, to the point where we start to think - "oh, this is not a Romance romance, Eun Ho will actually overcome her pain and hurdles on her own. Wow, such idea! Such power to the FL! Finally!"

Then comes the 10th episode, then 11th, then 12th.

We are then left wondering, what happened to Eun Ho's mental problems? Where, how did they disappear? Why are we forced to witness a doomed relationship, based on manipulations and codependency? Why make your ML so unlikeable, so despicable and still force your FL to love and stay in a relationship with him?
Does the writer hate women?
Is the writer even human?

Oh. Ohh... Oohhhh.......

This might actually be the beginning of a new era. An era where viewers will be left wondering, whether the script was written by a human, with human emotions or just an AI. When, in the story, the emotions are not emoting, the plot is not plotting and characters are not fully themselves. Everything in the story is dreamlike, and on the other side of their screens teenage viewers are raving about the depth of the story (which is as shallow as a dried puddle); the constipated romantics are hallucinating the romance of the ages (which is as toxic as the site of Chernobyl in May, 1986).

I am angry and sad that I invested my time, my emotions in a story that has gone nowhere, that there were no real healing in a story about traumas and mental problems. I am extremely angry that creators in 2024 are still trying to romanticise and sell abusive, manipulative men just because they have mommy issues.

"Dear Hyeri" did us all dirty, because it had platinum grade potential, extraordinary cinematography, enchanting musical scores, it promised us the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, instead delivering "the holograms of Blade Runner" from TEMU. And yes, I do think that from episode 9 the script, if not fully, then partially was written by an AI.

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