BL Drama Lovers Club

stayforlife:

BossNoeul aren't broken up. They announced they're doing a new show, last week I think it was. Whenever their Brazil fan meet was. They've made it clear numerous times that they are in it together, forever. No matter what.

anthea:

BossNoeul confirmed they didn't break up tho

Oh that is nice to know. I'm out of the loop😅Thanks for the info.

Indie Art Girl:

I see lots of possible and very valid reasons for splits to happen. Here's only a few that come to mind:

• One of the pair doesn't want to do BL anymore

• They prefer different dramas to act in

• They don't want to be joined at the hip for their entire career

• One of the pair meets a rl love and being in a pairing no longer works or is uncomfortable for the non-acting person

• They've outgrown each other or have new and different career goals

• One of both want to experience working with other actors in lead roles

• One or both are experiencing burnout

• One or both have had enough of the fan's expectations and behaviors towards them as a couple. I know some actors have had serious issues with fans that even affect their family and friends. I've seen actors post to insta requesting fans to stop what they're doing or having to explain their actions to fans.

those are good reasons, i just hope they are not on bad terms ,and wishing them luck for any future work

If anyone would like to see the letters Aou, Boom, Joong, and Dunk have posted in response to their breakups, I have posted them under “ships we loved” on the Boy’s Love group site. Here is the link:

Breakup Letters from Aou, Boom, Joong, Dunk

I am sorry to see these couples breakup because I thought they worked well together. I understand, though, that career and life changes can require people to take different paths. I would never be angry about a breakup, but I do feel sad. I have watched every show these couples have been in, and I feel invested in their success. But I always want the actors to do what’s best for themselves before they serve the fans.

I like the fixed ship pairings because it offers us as fans a known quantity. We know we will get good chemistry and we can guess what they will do well in together.I also like the idea that the actors get a chance to get comfortable working with the same person, because many actors are nervous about kissing or NC scenes and familiarity helps. We have also witnessed some wonderful friendships grow from fixed pairings, including FirstKhao, PondPhuwin, PerthSanta, WilliamEst, and EarthMix.

I don’t mind fan service if the actors are comfortable with it. Some seem to have fun making content or hosting fan events together. I don’t like the idea that couples are pressured to provide fan service, though, especially behind the scenes. I also hate the toxic culture that doesn’t allow BL actors (or K-pop idols) to date in real life without getting hate. Of course hate for any reason is unacceptable.

As an older fan, I am also very careful about promoting anything that over-sexualizes actors or idols, or that takes liberties with parasocial relationships, because it is not appropriate and not fair, especially to the very young actors and idols who do not have much say in these decisions and who may not be ready for this kind of fame. I have no problem promoting their characters, shows, or NC scenes, but I worry about fan events, fan service, and fan fiction. These should be approached carefully and with respect. What characters do in a show is not the same as what they should do outside the show.

BL stories bring me a great deal of joy, and I will always support more shows and more popularity, as long as the actors are still treated well. While I am sad to lose these couples, we can still revisit their shows and enjoy our memories.

NC Scenes in recent shows

Before I discuss how well-fed we’ve been recently, I will just state again that actors should be treated with respect, especially while filming NC scenes. I like the idea of intimacy coordinators who can help create great content while still making sure the actors are comfortable with what is happening and are prepared for what they are expected to do. I believe sets should be cleared during revealing scenes and that steps should always be taken to provide appropriate privacy. I also hope that actors always have veto power over anything that they are truly not comfortable doing.

Mr. fanboy

That said, wow, Mandee/Domundi continues to raise the bar on NC scenes. I think they must have an excellent intimacy coordinator. They have shown us that we don’t need super revealing scenes for an NC scene to be sexy. Just a little more skin, a few more intimate lines of dialogue, and/or an extra moment of a certain position or facial expression can increase the fire immensely. They also spend much more time on these scenes, even if that time is just build up. I was so impressed with AuauSave in Mr. Fanboy. The scene was beautiful and hot as hell, their facial expressions were serving both fire and Wan’s shyness, and we really got a sense that this was something they both wanted and enjoyed. For me, it was a great scene.

I also love that Mandee always includes an extra moment of consent during the scene, as the characters check-in with each other and make sure they are both comfortable with what is happening. This is how real life should be, especially for new couples. BLs have not given us much of this in the past, and I am thrilled with this new development.

Fool in Love

On the flip side, I still think the toxic BLs are ok, and there is nothing wrong with us enjoying them. Just like millions of people love watching violence and murder on screen, we are allowed to enjoy watching non-con behavior, manipulation, and even sexual violence. I don’t watch these thinking they are real or wanting anything close to what I see on screen to ever happen in reality. But there is a rush in exploring the forbidden and the dangerous in our imagination. This is a chance to engage with these behaviors in a way that is safe and where we have control. It is not meant to encourage real-life behavior. In real life, I can barely stand men flirting with me. It has made me uncomfortable my whole life. But I love toxic BLs because they aren’t realistic and they allow me to think about behaviors I can barely look at when depicted in a realistic way. Fool in Love, like my other favorite toxic BLs (To My Shore and Kill to Love) is dramatic and has an over-the-top quality that makes it feel fun and safe for me.

If it is not safe for you, don’t watch it. We all have the right to explore only those stories that we feel comfortable with. I have many triggers that I cannot watch if they become too realistic, especially family rejection, homophobia, and suicide. Also, I have trouble with realistic SA/r@pe where characters are drugged first. The r@pe scene from The Sparkle in Your Eye still haunts me. I don’t know why that scene was so difficult for me when I watch so many other shows with much worse behavior, but I think it has to do with the context being so realistic plus the way it is shown from the drugged character’s point of view. Until We Meet Again was also difficult for me because of the way the suicide was portrayed as being driven by parental rejection and the belief that they could never be allowed to live happily together. I think sometimes high-quality shows with real-feeling emotions make the difficult parts the hardest to watch. Whereas soap-opera style shows or shows about characters or relationships we would never encounter in real life are easier on us emotionally. That is my theory for BLs, anyway. Kdramas can me super melodramatic and still rip my heart out. Nobody does trauma like the Koreans.

Twisted Tie

I don’t need to discuss the NC scenes here because they are clearly serving, but you either like a show that revolves around lots of sex, or you don’t. I wanted to mention, though, that the boss character referred to “a reason he wasn’t eating/wanted an empty stomach” during lunch. I think this is the first time any show has actually referred realistically to issues related to bottoming. You Maniac did have Moth disappear into the bathroom for an awfully long time before their first potential sexual encounter, and Est actually posted kudos to the writing staff for alluding to “douching, an important part of gay sex.” I was also happy they did that, but it wasn’t as explicit so I don’t know how many people caught on. I think it’s important that at least some BLs show realistic elements of gay sex. Many shows are not meant to be realistic, but for all shows to ignore the reality is a disservice to people who know nothing about gay sex beyond what they see in BLs. Plus, adding realistic elements can make it sexier if done well.

I’m still waiting for more shows to show lube as well as condoms, but I understand that with most BLs we can only expect baby steps.

Wow, I guess these break-ups really got me going this morning. I can’t seem to stop writing! If you read all this, thanks. I hope it lends you some insight.

K-Dramafan21:

Hope Joong and Dunk are on okay terms

I just saw them in Rome for their Aug 30th fan meet, and they were still friendly with each other then. It's not like the JD touchy-feely days when Joong was always trying to sneak a kiss in, but definitely still friendly. They have quite a few friends in common so I hope they continue to hang out even if they stop acting together.

dora:

Mr. fanboy

That said, wow, Mandee/Domundi continues to raise the bar on NC scenes.

They have really great NC scenes !

dora:

The scene was beautiful and hot as hell, their facial expressions were serving both fire and Wan’s shyness, and we really got a sense that this was something they both wanted and enjoyed. For me, it was a great scene.

I also love that Mandee always includes an extra moment of consent during the scene, as the characters check-in with each other and make sure they are both comfortable with what is happening. This is how real life should be, especially for new couples. BLs have not given us much of this in the past, and I am thrilled with this new development.

Exactly I loved all these details.

I've just read all four letters. That was hard... 😭 Now I'm going to sleep.

Saygo:

Tiffany:

I've just read all four letters. That was hard... 😭 Now I'm going to sleep.

😭I know it is not our business but i really want to know what actually happened.

Me too! 😩

anthea:

Teeteeholic:

Just woke up and saw the news. I didn't expect it, well I expected Aouboom but not joongdunk.

AouBoom was only a matter of time, but JoongDunk? Didn't expect that one 💔

Teeteeholic:

Just woke up and saw the news. I didn't expect it, well I expected Aouboom but not joongdunk.

cain:

yall i haven't been superrr keeping up with joongdunk but this is so surprising to me!! did anyone see this coming??? i was looking forward to their upcoming show :'( but i'll be looking out for whatever they each do next <3 same with aouboom although that one is not as surprising to me lol

why? i didnt see this coming. though i'm not on socmed

cain:

and i agree, i really enjoyed them in only friends dream on. i was looking forward to seeing more from them :(

same :(

stayforlife:

I'm in physical pain because of a pinched sciatic nerve... but the emotional pain is still slightly worse. It's not fair!

I honestly get the feeling AB may not have actually chosen to break up.. I think GMMTV broke them up. Can't prove it, but my gut says it and I trust my gut.

They deserved so much better.

i hope you feel better soon