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Chang Xuan (ML) is a good person, smart and capable. He falls head over heels for a woman who is already betrothed, while he himself is engaged. His pursuit of her is sometimes sweet, but at other times, absolutely unacceptable. Forcing yourself on someone is never okay. As viewers, myself included, we sometimes downplay the moments when he forces himself on the FL while she is visibly distressed. Yes, societal norms and the dynamics between men and women were different during that era, but that doesn’t automatically make such behavior right.
Ladies, remember this: just because a man buys you expensive gifts and tells you he loves you DOES NOT give him the right to do whatever he wants with you. This is the weak spot for women and often stay with men who abuse them.
That said, Chang Xuan is probably inexperienced when it comes to love. Given his background, it’s not surprising that he believes power and control can get him what he wants. The phrase “he gets whatever he wants” has been repeated throughout the story, and he has said it himself. However, by episode 14, he seems to be coming to his senses and asking himself, “What the hell am I doing?” Perhaps he is finally beginning to realize that he isn’t the only one suffering. The FL is hurting too.
Ping Jun (FL) is described as pure, and that purity comes with innocence. She is smart but also naive. Many viewers criticize her for being hot and cold toward Chang Xuan, but I think she is just as confused by him. At times, he frightens her; at others, especially when he is gentle with children, he seems like a completely different person. That’s why she can feel comfortable around him one moment, yet visibly afraid when he gets too close and makes advances toward her. Many also criticize her devotion to her fiancé. But we know his character, and she doesn't yet. And we judge her through that knowledge we already have as viewer, and not the person in the story. People caught up in a situation themselves often struggle to see things clearly because of their history, emotions, and experiences. To Ping Jun, her fiancé is someone she grew up with and believes she knows well. Their marriage was arranged by their parents, and his mother is her mother’s best friend. Does she truly love him? Perhaps not. She may not even realize it herself, or fully understand what love means yet. But she grew up believing in this commitment, so I see nothing wrong with her trying everything she can to save him. Honestly, I would dislike her character if she simply abandoned him without trying. It would make her seem heartless, without emotion or loyalty. Remember how far she went to save the other girl who framed her with the silver pen? That is the kind of person Ping Jun is. So I’m not surprised by what she does for her fiancé.
Both characters are undoubtedly in pain, but for different reasons. Unfortunately, the way they approach and treat each other only causes them more suffering. If I were Ping Jun, I wouldn’t trust Chang Xuan, let alone fall for him while I was already betrothed to someone else. If I were Chang Xuan, I wouldn’t force myself on another woman while I was still engaged. I would end my own engagement first, especially given how arrogant and stupid my fiancée is. I understand that men during that era could have multiple wives and mistresses, as we can see from Chang Xuan’s own household, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior toward Ping Jun. It's going to be interesting to see how Chang Xuan and turn things around and show his love for Ping Jun. And also to see how Ping Jun can abandon the image of arrogant, forceful, manipulative Chang Xuan and slowly fall for him. After all, this is also a love story, I do hope to see people falling in love in a good, healthy way especially during the crazy time as war.
One last thing: I’ve seen the word “rape” being thrown around in discussions. I genuinely encourage everyone to understand the definition before using such a serious term so casually. There is a difference between expressing an opinion about a character’s behavior and making a specific accusation. We can criticize, discuss, and disagree without losing sight of what words actually mean.