This review may contain spoilers
An absolute masterpiece worthy of every award
To My Shore is the pinnacle of obsession, love, angst, redemption, and worshipping the ground one's partner walks on. Both actors are amazing. This level of acting has rendered me entirely speechless; I genuinely cried with them, my heart kept getting broken, and my anxiety kept skyrocketing to the point where I had to hit pause time and time again to calm down and get myself in order. I don't even remember the last time I felt so affected. Chemistry and passion are also magnificent here, they are so palpable, wow.Fan Xiao, to me, is a character with clear psychopathic and BPD traits. Manipulation is in his blood; he's cold, indifferent, cruel, and toxic in every way you look at him. What amazed me is that he's actually someone on the aro-ace spectrum! Gray-romantic and graysexual. Until You Shu Lang, he never felt sexual or romantic attraction to anyone. I've never seen it depicted in fiction, so I found it fascinating.
You Shu Lang himself is the perfection of a character. Very often, even if obsession is depicted well in some series, I remain skeptical of the reasons for it. The objects of other characters' obsession tend to be so ordinary that I just don't get what's so special about them to warrant this crazy level of devotion and adoration. With You Shu Lang, I totally get it, and I understand why Fan Xiao grows to worship him.
He's not perfect; he's really not the divine being Fan Xiao sees him as, but he's so deep and so fascinating. He's endlessly good, but he's the opposite of a pushover. He protects himself fiercely and he maintains very strong boundaries. He's unyielding in his decisions: using Fan Xiao's words from the book, if You Shu Lang says no, then it's a no. Hard stop.
You Shu Lang always wants to help people, but if he can't, he's not going to suffer or beat himself up over it. He'll accept it calmly because he understands how life works, and that sometimes we are hopeless in our effort to change something.
He loves his brother, but while he's willing to sacrifice a lot for him, he's not going to let him walk over him even if the price of this decision is high. You Shu Lang has so much dignity and quiet power that you can't help but admire him.
If he feels something is wrong, then he trusts his intuition. If he has difficulties, if he is beaten down, he gets up and carries on. If he is in a relationship, he's entirely devoted: I was amazed at how loyal he stayed to Lu Zhen (his initial boyfriend) even despite being clearly attracted to Fan Xiao at the start of the show. And then… he loved Fan Xiao so much. He took care of him in so many ways - only to get his heart broken and spat on and burned to ashes.
E8 killed me, I was so floored by the level of heartbreak and emotion in it… And Fan Xiao didn't stop after this; he didn't understand he was in love until it was way too late, and then he just couldn't let go because You Shu Lang became the center of his world. Threatening You Shu Lang, ruining his career, forcing him to have sex with him when he's clearly unwilling, all but keeping him hostage - all because Fan Xiao can't imagine how to live without him, and he can't bear to let him go. It was excruciating to watch.
But then the redemption arc began, and I believed it. I think it was done very masterfully. And the way Fan Xiao becomes by the end of the series… he's still psychopathic, he's still an obsessed stalker, but he'd also rather die than hurt You Shu Lang now. He's content to just stare at him for days and days; he forces himself to stay sane time and time again for the price of seeing You Shu Lang happy, even if it's not with him.
And You Shu Lang… being forced into cruelty, something alien to him; understanding he loves Fan Xiao and that Fan Xiao definitely loves him, but still being unable to forgive him… There are so many emotional struggles in To My Shore, and they are all so painful.
The show's ending, despite being happy, still feels a little bittersweet, so I can't wait for the special episodes! And I'm so grateful for the book because it expands on everything and shows what happens next.
So… yeah, I'm a huge, crazed fan now :D Endless thanks to people who recommended To My Shore to me. This show will stay with me for the rest of my life.
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This review may contain spoilers
Smart. Well Acted. Unusual
Desire is one of the best BLs I've seen, and definitely my most favorite at the moment. This series has gripped me from the first episode, even though I found it somewhat awkward. E2 was perfection in my eyes, and from then on, my love has only grown.The theme of obsession has always fascinated me, and Desire lives and breathes it. I'm delighted by the intricate web Hua Yong has spanned; the way he pretended to be so fragile and vulnerable to get Shaoyou to finally notice him, how he used a whole insane arsenal of the wildest manipulation tactics to get him attached… and, well, it sure worked. I was skeptical at first because how can a relationship blossom when it's based on such a complete lie? Hua Youg is pretending to be a completely different person for a big chunk of the series, so I kept wondering how Shaoyou can realistically love him still when the truth is revealed.
When the reveal did happen, I found it, and all further progression, absolutely flawless, though. And nothing delighted me more than the new, honest dynamic between these two. Shaoyou really is starved for love, and Hua Yong has tons of it to give - but only to him and no one else. They are both messed up, and I love how genuine and unhinged they are at present, how they are so utterly dependent on one another. I really don't want this series to end. Also, I'm completely in love with OSTs, they are addictive.
The actors did a phenomenal job; the psychological game is the most brilliant thing I've ever seen, with every little part meticulously thought out, from the nervous twitch of Hua's hands to his epic chess game in terms of business deals.
The second couple is also fascinating. They didn't get a proper ending; the last episode was very rushed, unfortunately, but I still loved them, and I'm glad they have every chance to be happy together.
I already re-watched Desire several times, and I will keep doing it, just enjoying every second of this universe. Also, the novel is quite good, too, so I definitely recommend reading it.
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