Just finished crying because I feel so bad for In. I disagreed with Wang, I think that In could have eventually acknowledged his feelings had Wang been calmer, more patient and more empathic toward him. Whilst Wang’s bluntness and aggressive persuasion did get In to talk about things, it still kept In alert and on edge in terms of his boundaries. As others have mentioned, the fact that In allowed Wang to hug him in the end, strongly suggests that. Not to mention with the shot of In peering out of the door, before Wang and Mol leave with their car. The way it’s directed as well also seems euphoric, like a sort of epiphany, where it felt like In was going back on his words, and inviting Wang back in (given the door remained open until the end), but Wang left anyway.
I also have mixed feelings about the ending, because it feels like it rewards Mol the most. Wang claims that he chooses his own path, what he truly wants, but the shot of him crying in silence, clearly suffocating in the car as his mother rants without noticing, seems to hint otherwise. Again, Mol manipulating and discouraging In, and then, in turn, getting her son ‘back’ seems to reflect that, which is frustrating because it feels like it’s ignoring and/or destroying the development that happened with Wang revealing his sexuality and feelings for In (and subsequently, the history between Siam and In, especially since In and Mol never even said goodbye to one another nor cleared things out). I was also disappointed that, given how perceptive Wang is, he didn’t think further about the impact of Mol’s words on In, and instead is grateful to her the most, which i find misplaced. Again, even if the text at the end denies this (the one during the credits), it feels like the series is almost implying that Mol was right in the end. I understand that the point of the series is to portray the reality that some queer people will never be able to accept themselves and will hide away in their ‘comfort zones’, even when they have already suffered loss, and that this is a cyclical happening. I understand. But i can’t entirely accept it, truth be told, I think there were other, more nuanced, alternatives.
For this story, given that In and Mol lost Siam in the way that they did, and that Wang was able to unpack most of their trauma during their stay, it feels like it can’t end this way. In shouldn’t have been given hope, as broken as he already was, only to be abandoned and for that hope to be crushed again. They established such a difference between Siam and Wang, Wang says this himself, he knows where the whale 52hertz is located. How is he committing the same yet worse (given that Wang knows about the past) mistake that his father made? It feels so futile, and as though Wang did far more damage than good. Which takes away from the idea that the story is about moving on, and about healing. And rather about hurt, and about reviving that hurt, and then leaving it alone, which is what happens to In: notice how In’s cast on his leg stays on him until the end, and he did not have it before Wang arrived (becoming visibly injured and staying that way). The symbolism there is quite poignant yet eery. Again, I feel that if it hadn’t been Wang, if it had been someone more understanding, straight-forward, yes, but comforting, I believe the person could have reached In. And had Wang decided to run back toward In after he got into that car, I also believe that they could have sorted it out. Spending time together. Not rushing things. Giving In the time and space, and exposure he needs to feel comfortable opening up more and more like he did when he was alone with Wang. But I feel that, whilst Wang was fair in saying that In may never be prompted to say ‘I love you’ out loud (though I’d argue that it was also caused by the strain of the conditions they were in, esp with Mol), if Wang had insisted on staying, In would surely start to embrace himself and Wang for who they are.
It’s just…I appreciate how masterful the realism of this series is. I think that even as it is, it is a great piece of media with astounding writing and acting, not to mention the cinematography. Yet, something still doesn’t sit right with me. I think it’s because, having watched so much lgbt media over the years, I recall how a lot of the older mlm representations would have this kind of ending, especially with favouring the presence of a female character who eventually gets ‘their way’ (which is ironically smth that Wang consistently mentions about Mol), which, in the broader context of queer/mlm media, feels both homophobic and misogynistic, even though that’s not what this series intends (emphasis on intention rather than result) to do. It’s not that I think that Wang and In should have necessarily ended up together, but that it felt unnecessarily cruel and unfair to give the ending they did to In, whilst also leaving all the blame to In, and removing blame from both Wang and (but especially) Mol. Which came across most strongly when Wang was talking about ‘losing’ and ‘winning’, which again, felt like he was indirectly blaming In. Once again, I feel like more than anything, although In is foolish himself, he needed comforting and courage. Yet in the end, it was blame and accusations that came his way, and I think that further pushed him away.
To go back on the subject of mlm representation, I think there’s quite a prominent assumption and common portrayal of older mlm characters or people (in this case, someone like In), who don’t get their ‘happy ending’, because supposedly, it’s too late for them. They’ve apparently denied it long enough, that they are irreversibly doomed, with no hope of being found (to use the metaphor of the whale). We’ve seen it so much. Again, it’s fine to take the route this series did. Yet, I’d argue that it would have been more significant to offer the kind of representation where a character like In does actually break that cycle, is ultimately able to face their fear, or at least, to hold the hope that they can embrace themselves and be who they truly are, live as they truly are (even if it doesn’t or can’t happen immediately). But it almost feels like the story abandons In, just a few steps away from the goal. I feel like, in some ways, if In had been able to say those difficult words, ‘I love you’, even if he didn’t end up with Wang, I could accept the ending better, because, at least, then it shows that In is ultimately able to embrace himself even if, on ‘moral grounds’, he can’t accept to be in a relationship with Wang, purely due to the history that they both share (and the potential transfer from Siam). But to deny him of that, makes me feel like I have watched less a story about queer identity and its journey, and more about a story about people who can’t change, and about opinions that can’t be changed. And so it leaves a pretty bitter aftertaste.
Not sure if anyone will see it the same way I do, but if you’ve read this far, I’m really thankful and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Just a little detail, but i like how Payu is not a violent or aggressive person despite how he sterotypically looks and his background (ex: not liking it when people curse and not giving in to others who mock him + when Rain was captured, he was more focused on reassuring him rather than expressing the desire to hit the other guys).
I actually think it's a pretty darn healthy relationship.
Thanks for sharing your views ^^ yes I see what you mean, and you've got some good points. Especially about how, their relationship isn't impacted on by the early scenes, and their relationship itself is portayed healthily. I also found this thread on twitter, actually, which analysed Payu and Rain's dynamic more specifically in regards to them having a domsub relationship, and ngl that was eye-opening! It shed light on some of those earlier scenes that we discussed on here and it was a relief to see because I feel that it def almost completely reduces those grey areas in the series. Cause if we view Payu as a "brat-tamer" and Rain as a "brat" in a kink dynamic, it explains why they act the way they do and what formed the first misunderstanding (because Payu would have thought that Rain's "playing hard to get" was part of his "brat" act). So that was quite interesting to see. What do you think about this idea?
I actually think it's a pretty darn healthy relationship.
Ikr, i still think that the series itself was really clumsy with a few of the earlier moments, which still makes those particular scenes questionable or morally grey (the two scenes about Payu misunderstanding / insisting, then the bathroom scene).
Like I know that they wanted to convey the fact that 1. Payu was just trying to “tease” Rain or see how he reacts, and to show that 2.) Rain does feel a strong attraction to Payu (with the narration and all), but because it could easily pass of as SA, it’s just…hard to know how to judge those scenes because, later on, when they actually get to know each other better and start dating, there aren’t really any problematic scenes at all. What do you think about that?
It seems like Rain initially had a crush on Ple before he even met Payu, and we see that Rain at first denies…
Yes exactly! That’s a good observation and def adds to it. I was relieved when the series didn’t dwell on it too much. I also really liked how in the recent episode, Rain and Payu were talking about their feelings for one another, and Rain tells him that for a while now, he’s exceeded liking him, that he truly loves Payu, which affirms how strongly the feel about one another even though we could see that from their actions already (but that verbal confirmation was so satisfying).
I'm a bit nonchalant about the storyline, like one minute Rain into Pie and next he's all about Payu (in ep 1…
It seems like Rain initially had a crush on Ple before he even met Payu, and we see that Rain at first denies his attraction to Payu which is why he tells his best friend that he still likes Ple. But after that Rain only has eyes for Payu and expresses it vividly. On multiple occasions, we actually see the progressive disinterest in Ple: passing by the chance to talk to her because he's so excited to see Payu, not talking about her or showing interest when she's on screen, rejecting her when she tries to comfort him when his project was not graded, and then also keeping his distance even when he thinks that Ple is confessing to him (tho she ended up wanting Payu's number). 💕
No but really, im glad they touched on the fact that a lot of older queer representation portrayed queerness as intrinsically associated with misery and misfortune. I like how they showed a realistic portrayal of Eiw trying to understand the prejudice toward queer people and how much that affected his own perception of hismself
I love how complex his character is, and in the second season, i cant wait to see him grow and sustain his relationship with Pete healthily, or see what kind of struggles get in the way of that
1 
1 
I also have mixed feelings about the ending, because it feels like it rewards Mol the most. Wang claims that he chooses his own path, what he truly wants, but the shot of him crying in silence, clearly suffocating in the car as his mother rants without noticing, seems to hint otherwise. Again, Mol manipulating and discouraging In, and then, in turn, getting her son ‘back’ seems to reflect that, which is frustrating because it feels like it’s ignoring and/or destroying the development that happened with Wang revealing his sexuality and feelings for In (and subsequently, the history between Siam and In, especially since In and Mol never even said goodbye to one another nor cleared things out). I was also disappointed that, given how perceptive Wang is, he didn’t think further about the impact of Mol’s words on In, and instead is grateful to her the most, which i find misplaced. Again, even if the text at the end denies this (the one during the credits), it feels like the series is almost implying that Mol was right in the end. I understand that the point of the series is to portray the reality that some queer people will never be able to accept themselves and will hide away in their ‘comfort zones’, even when they have already suffered loss, and that this is a cyclical happening. I understand. But i can’t entirely accept it, truth be told, I think there were other, more nuanced, alternatives.
For this story, given that In and Mol lost Siam in the way that they did, and that Wang was able to unpack most of their trauma during their stay, it feels like it can’t end this way. In shouldn’t have been given hope, as broken as he already was, only to be abandoned and for that hope to be crushed again. They established such a difference between Siam and Wang, Wang says this himself, he knows where the whale 52hertz is located. How is he committing the same yet worse (given that Wang knows about the past) mistake that his father made? It feels so futile, and as though Wang did far more damage than good. Which takes away from the idea that the story is about moving on, and about healing. And rather about hurt, and about reviving that hurt, and then leaving it alone, which is what happens to In: notice how In’s cast on his leg stays on him until the end, and he did not have it before Wang arrived (becoming visibly injured and staying that way). The symbolism there is quite poignant yet eery. Again, I feel that if it hadn’t been Wang, if it had been someone more understanding, straight-forward, yes, but comforting, I believe the person could have reached In. And had Wang decided to run back toward In after he got into that car, I also believe that they could have sorted it out. Spending time together. Not rushing things. Giving In the time and space, and exposure he needs to feel comfortable opening up more and more like he did when he was alone with Wang. But I feel that, whilst Wang was fair in saying that In may never be prompted to say ‘I love you’ out loud (though I’d argue that it was also caused by the strain of the conditions they were in, esp with Mol), if Wang had insisted on staying, In would surely start to embrace himself and Wang for who they are.
It’s just…I appreciate how masterful the realism of this series is. I think that even as it is, it is a great piece of media with astounding writing and acting, not to mention the cinematography. Yet, something still doesn’t sit right with me. I think it’s because, having watched so much lgbt media over the years, I recall how a lot of the older mlm representations would have this kind of ending, especially with favouring the presence of a female character who eventually gets ‘their way’ (which is ironically smth that Wang consistently mentions about Mol), which, in the broader context of queer/mlm media, feels both homophobic and misogynistic, even though that’s not what this series intends (emphasis on intention rather than result) to do. It’s not that I think that Wang and In should have necessarily ended up together, but that it felt unnecessarily cruel and unfair to give the ending they did to In, whilst also leaving all the blame to In, and removing blame from both Wang and (but especially) Mol. Which came across most strongly when Wang was talking about ‘losing’ and ‘winning’, which again, felt like he was indirectly blaming In. Once again, I feel like more than anything, although In is foolish himself, he needed comforting and courage. Yet in the end, it was blame and accusations that came his way, and I think that further pushed him away.
To go back on the subject of mlm representation, I think there’s quite a prominent assumption and common portrayal of older mlm characters or people (in this case, someone like In), who don’t get their ‘happy ending’, because supposedly, it’s too late for them. They’ve apparently denied it long enough, that they are irreversibly doomed, with no hope of being found (to use the metaphor of the whale). We’ve seen it so much. Again, it’s fine to take the route this series did. Yet, I’d argue that it would have been more significant to offer the kind of representation where a character like In does actually break that cycle, is ultimately able to face their fear, or at least, to hold the hope that they can embrace themselves and be who they truly are, live as they truly are (even if it doesn’t or can’t happen immediately). But it almost feels like the story abandons In, just a few steps away from the goal. I feel like, in some ways, if In had been able to say those difficult words, ‘I love you’, even if he didn’t end up with Wang, I could accept the ending better, because, at least, then it shows that In is ultimately able to embrace himself even if, on ‘moral grounds’, he can’t accept to be in a relationship with Wang, purely due to the history that they both share (and the potential transfer from Siam). But to deny him of that, makes me feel like I have watched less a story about queer identity and its journey, and more about a story about people who can’t change, and about opinions that can’t be changed. And so it leaves a pretty bitter aftertaste.
Not sure if anyone will see it the same way I do, but if you’ve read this far, I’m really thankful and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Ayan: secure in his sexuality
Together: a learning process
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFNq1K73/
Ayan: secure in his sexuality
Together: a learning process
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFNq1K73/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFNYmp4g/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFLs8g5p/
^also made an edit of the 'life is strange' trend with Payu
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFLmFe63/
Like I know that they wanted to convey the fact that 1. Payu was just trying to “tease” Rain or see how he reacts, and to show that 2.) Rain does feel a strong attraction to Payu (with the narration and all), but because it could easily pass of as SA, it’s just…hard to know how to judge those scenes because, later on, when they actually get to know each other better and start dating, there aren’t really any problematic scenes at all. What do you think about that?
I also really liked how in the recent episode, Rain and Payu were talking about their feelings for one another, and Rain tells him that for a while now, he’s exceeded liking him, that he truly loves Payu, which affirms how strongly the feel about one another even though we could see that from their actions already (but that verbal confirmation was so satisfying).
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFR4wBJj/ (for me, i explain it in this edit)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFddQQmX/
:>
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFe32qHR/
:>
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMF1PbpL9/
No but really, im glad they touched on the fact that a lot of older queer representation portrayed queerness as intrinsically associated with misery and misfortune. I like how they showed a realistic portrayal of Eiw trying to understand the prejudice toward queer people and how much that affected his own perception of hismself
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNo6Eum6/
had to make an edit of it ofc ^^
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNENLb1Y/
I love how complex his character is, and in the second season, i cant wait to see him grow and sustain his relationship with Pete healthily, or see what kind of struggles get in the way of that