I would not judge anyone. Everything is soo easy for ppl not in that position. Love has done crazy things to ppl.…
We both agree on a lot.
1. "Also she is not responsible for how he reacts and feel. She is the catalyst. No matt3r how she handled it." - We've mentioned several times that Jae Won is obsessive. Eun Oh giving him mixed signals was a separate thing.
2. "These behaviors are unhealthy." - Yes, Eun Oh's behaviours are unhealthy.
So, the only issue you seem to have is we, the viewers, saying a fictional couple shouldn't be together because their relationship will be unhealthy. You agree that it will be unhealthy, you just don't agree that we have a right to say these two fictional characters shouldn't be together.
Why though? You, yourself agree that their behaviours are unhealthy, that their relationship is unhealthy, so why do you say we shouldn't say they should not be together? The World of the Married, Love Affairs in the Afternoon, The Penthouse: War in Life... These are all shows where they depict similarly unhealthy relationships and people say these couples should not be together. And there is nothing wrong with that.
The only difference is that this show shows the unhealthy qualities in a romantic lens, like Boys Over Flowers. To not point out the unhealthiness would be like giving a stamp of approval towards the depiction of an unhealthy relationship under the guise of a healthy relationship in a romcom.
The reason we say that they shouldn't be together is because of how the writers gloss over the fact that these two handle the relationship in an unhealthy manner. If the writers handled the relationship properly, by acknowledging the unhealthiness and showing them healing, getting better, (which you agree) then we wouldn't criticise the pairing.
Shows like It's Okay That's Love, It's Okay to not be Okay, and Kill Me Heal Me, have shown how it can be done. They are penned by writers who understand the human mind and its workings. Lovestruck in the City on the other hand hasn't mentioned any connection to a mental health issue. We, the viewers have made the connection because we understand that Eun Oh's behaviour is not right... So surely, the only explanation has to be that she has mental issues.
Another possibility (which I believe more and more) is that the writer just wants to create drama and she never thought of creating Eun Oh with mental issues in the first place. And here we are, reading into things that the writer never intended.
I would not judge anyone. Everything is soo easy for ppl not in that position. Love has done crazy things to ppl.…
We are actually discussing two different things. What the majority of the comments are saying is that these two should not be together because they don't know how to be in a healthy relationship and because they both have issues they need to solve BEFORE they get into a relationship. What you keep saying is that we need to be compassionate towards the characters.
The thing is, you can be compassionate towards the characters but also understand that they are in an unhealthy entanglement with each other. The two are not mutually exclusive. In a way, you agree with the comments. You keep saying that Eun Oh has mental issues, the type that means she should not be in a relationship until she heals herself.
After all, Eun Oh doesn't NEED to be in a relationship with Jae Won to get better, does she? It's work she has to put in herself. But this is a romcom where they are glossing over the fact that these two are unhealthy together for the sake of creating drama.
I feel like EO goes after JW only after he says he is done with her. It's happened twice now.
Exactly. Which is why it's worse that she goes after Jae Won when the break she wants is right there. She asks for it and then she changes her mind. If she had a one night stand, or a summer fling and been honest about it, told him from the start, these are my expectations, don't get the wrong idea, she wouldn't have been leading him on. Then JW's obsessiveness can be blamed solely on him.
People like her should not be in a relationship until they sort themselves out. Relationships are not supposed to fix people.
Don't get me wrong. EO and JW will work. She's flaky and he's loyal. So she can break up with him once a year and 25 years later, because he's a sap, he still won't be over her and will continue to take her back. But she's a person who doesn't know what she wants and she's unreliable. She's a mess. She should not be dating someone who is obsessive over her.
I would not judge anyone. Everything is soo easy for ppl not in that position. Love has done crazy things to ppl.…
Unhealthy is still unhealthy. I know someone like Jae Won. She's stubborn, convinced she's right, but that doesn't change the fact that she's in an unhealthy relationship. It has ended twice because of the other party and it will end again. It's a vicious cycle of toxicity, where the other party goes after her just when she's about to move on, then drops her when they are comfortable. - Very similar to Eun Oh.
Just because someone is an adult doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns when they are putting themselves down to stay with someone who is unreliable. Any romantic relationship should be as equal as possible. Having one person pull the strings is bad for the person who is willingly letting their strings being pulled.
I feel like EO goes after JW only after he says he is done with her. It's happened twice now.
The first time, when she thought 'he really might leave', that's when she went to him. Second time was when he said he didn't want to see her again. Both are similar. She only seeks him out when she KNOWS he won't wait for her. Classic self-destructive tendency.
The problem with Jae Won is that even if Eun Oh had kicked him, run him over and mugged him, he would still go after her. He has no self-respect. And getting into a relationship with someone who treated him badly is such a big NO. Especially because he feels the need to apologise to her for rightly being upset. This is so twisted and toxic.
Great article. I love solid friendships in dramas. I actually gravitate towards these dramas the most, and I was pleasantly surprised because I didn't know about most of your recs. Thank you! Just added all of it to my to-watch list.
I disagree. I have no excuse her behavior or cut her slack.I feel others will call the guys out too...Many ppl…
Exactly. I think the same. I'm okay with imperfect characters, but I'm not okay with how they see people treating others negatively through a romantic lens.
I disagree. I have no excuse her behavior or cut her slack.I feel others will call the guys out too...Many ppl…
I'm saying that if a man did what Eun Oh did (lied about the name, ghosted their partner, then pretended like their partner was the crazy one even though they knew their partner was right) we would be calling him a player and no one would forgive him for what he did because that would be a traditional douche move. But because it's a woman who did this, people forgive her because women traditionally don't do these kinds of things so surely she has her reasons. It's a double standard.
When it comes to Jae Won, if this role was played by a woman and she was constantly forgiving the person who lied, called her crazy, and showed signs of obsessiveness towards that person, we would say she's in an abusive relationship because she runs after the very person who gives all the signs that they don't want anything to do with her. But because the role is played by a man, who is traditionally not as attached, people don't see anything wrong with it. Again, a double standard.
The writer went with two imperfect people, which I applaud. But honestly, the writer shouldn't put these two together in the end. I'm going to continue watching to see if my hope that the two part ways at the end happens. Jae Won's obsessiveness with Eun Oh is not healthy. And Eun Oh puts her own romantic ideals above common decency because she's a coward. I understand them both, but I also understand these are two people who should not be in a relationship with each other because it will be a codependent and unhealthy one.
The main couple is so.... toxic. If you just switch their genders the level of toxicity would be glaringly obvious. A lot of people cut Eun Oh slack because she's a woman (and she gaslights Jae Won ALL the time) and they find Jae Won's obsessiveness sweet because he's a man.
Except for Dear My Friends, I've watched them all and I love them all. These are some of my highest rated dramas. Time to watch Dear My Friends, me thinks. Great article.
1. "Also she is not responsible for how he reacts and feel. She is the catalyst. No matt3r how she handled it." - We've mentioned several times that Jae Won is obsessive. Eun Oh giving him mixed signals was a separate thing.
2. "These behaviors are unhealthy." - Yes, Eun Oh's behaviours are unhealthy.
So, the only issue you seem to have is we, the viewers, saying a fictional couple shouldn't be together because their relationship will be unhealthy. You agree that it will be unhealthy, you just don't agree that we have a right to say these two fictional characters shouldn't be together.
Why though? You, yourself agree that their behaviours are unhealthy, that their relationship is unhealthy, so why do you say we shouldn't say they should not be together? The World of the Married, Love Affairs in the Afternoon, The Penthouse: War in Life... These are all shows where they depict similarly unhealthy relationships and people say these couples should not be together. And there is nothing wrong with that.
The only difference is that this show shows the unhealthy qualities in a romantic lens, like Boys Over Flowers. To not point out the unhealthiness would be like giving a stamp of approval towards the depiction of an unhealthy relationship under the guise of a healthy relationship in a romcom.
The reason we say that they shouldn't be together is because of how the writers gloss over the fact that these two handle the relationship in an unhealthy manner. If the writers handled the relationship properly, by acknowledging the unhealthiness and showing them healing, getting better, (which you agree) then we wouldn't criticise the pairing.
Shows like It's Okay That's Love, It's Okay to not be Okay, and Kill Me Heal Me, have shown how it can be done. They are penned by writers who understand the human mind and its workings. Lovestruck in the City on the other hand hasn't mentioned any connection to a mental health issue. We, the viewers have made the connection because we understand that Eun Oh's behaviour is not right... So surely, the only explanation has to be that she has mental issues.
Another possibility (which I believe more and more) is that the writer just wants to create drama and she never thought of creating Eun Oh with mental issues in the first place. And here we are, reading into things that the writer never intended.
The thing is, you can be compassionate towards the characters but also understand that they are in an unhealthy entanglement with each other. The two are not mutually exclusive. In a way, you agree with the comments. You keep saying that Eun Oh has mental issues, the type that means she should not be in a relationship until she heals herself.
After all, Eun Oh doesn't NEED to be in a relationship with Jae Won to get better, does she? It's work she has to put in herself. But this is a romcom where they are glossing over the fact that these two are unhealthy together for the sake of creating drama.
People like her should not be in a relationship until they sort themselves out. Relationships are not supposed to fix people.
Don't get me wrong. EO and JW will work. She's flaky and he's loyal. So she can break up with him once a year and 25 years later, because he's a sap, he still won't be over her and will continue to take her back. But she's a person who doesn't know what she wants and she's unreliable. She's a mess. She should not be dating someone who is obsessive over her.
Just because someone is an adult doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns when they are putting themselves down to stay with someone who is unreliable. Any romantic relationship should be as equal as possible. Having one person pull the strings is bad for the person who is willingly letting their strings being pulled.
When it comes to Jae Won, if this role was played by a woman and she was constantly forgiving the person who lied, called her crazy, and showed signs of obsessiveness towards that person, we would say she's in an abusive relationship because she runs after the very person who gives all the signs that they don't want anything to do with her. But because the role is played by a man, who is traditionally not as attached, people don't see anything wrong with it. Again, a double standard.
The writer went with two imperfect people, which I applaud. But honestly, the writer shouldn't put these two together in the end. I'm going to continue watching to see if my hope that the two part ways at the end happens. Jae Won's obsessiveness with Eun Oh is not healthy. And Eun Oh puts her own romantic ideals above common decency because she's a coward. I understand them both, but I also understand these are two people who should not be in a relationship with each other because it will be a codependent and unhealthy one.