kabocha

Hello there! I’m kabocha, at least for now. I love making up usernames, and kisskh lets you switch periodically, so. But I'm really enjoying being a squash, so maybe this one will last longer.

NARRATIVE-OBSESSED NERD:  I’ve been hyperfocusing on books, movies, and tv since I was little. I’m from the U.S. English is my first language. I speak Spanish and Portuguese with high proficiency, and some execrable French. Whether I’m watching television or movies, I’d always rather watch something that's not in English. 

DRAMA HOPPER:  Dramas float back and forth between my Currently Watching and my On Hold, and sometimes even return from Dropped to the land of the living. What can I say — I have the executive function of a lava lamp.

SUBJECTIVE RATINGS:  My ratings take the medium into account. I refuse to rob a perfect tv drama of a star just because it’ll never make it into the Criterion Collection. Okay, objectively speaking, Rashomon is superior to Drama Special Series Season 1: White Christmas. But each is twisty and satisfying and perfect in its own way. 

I rate dramas based mostly on writing, acting, and directing. I'm absorbed by art direction, composition and visuals, but have to make an effort to pay attention to soundtracks. High moments for me are original takes on people and society.

TROPES 

I LOVE ALL THE TROPES because I love having my mind blown. As I watch more and more cdramas, I'm trying to wrap my brain around not only the post-second-act twist but also the jones for an ambiguous ending.

• Breakups and separations in later episodes - How did I ever put up with Hollywood endings where the couple suddenly pivot to happy ever after? Down with that. The relationship must be tested. Only a major separation can prove the couple has what it takes to last. 
• Innuendo - It’s so nostalgic for me, the way some dramas encourage head canon about the characters’ sexual activities while maintaining plausible deniability. Takes me back to the Hayes Code.
• Toxically masculine red flags. Don't judge me.
• Hypocritically chivalrous green flags. Don't judge me.
• Rampaging second leads. Don't say over the top like it's a bad thing.
• Amnesia. Without amnesia, I Hear Your Voice's Park Soo Ha alone in the rain would not have the same sad puppy power! Also: delicious dramatic possibilities!
• Time and multiverse warps. I love speculative fiction, and I love how time fantasy elements are used to explore karma. 
• Intense parenting - It’s fascinating to watch a society’s dialogue about parenting appear on the small screen. Not that I understand what’s going on in the society, but I do dig being puzzled by it.
• Plotholes - When I’m watching Western media, I don’t notice plotholes, because I’m distracted by a payoff. And that makes me interested in what the payoff is for the drama's intended viewers.
• Talking with Dead People - Deceased family members show up to chat with the living, giving me a sense of what it is to live in a society that honors ancestors. I'm so moved by funerals and grave tending and always cry when someone bows to their departed loved ones.
• Epic stereotypes - Evil mothers-in-law, elders who dispense wisdom before peacefully expiring, nobly dead dads, sunshiny Cinderellas, grumpy CEOs, etc. New dramas build on what came before. Actors add their own personal stamp.
• Wrist grabs - TV is a distorted mirror of a society’s norms, and I lack experience of Asian societies. So when it comes to stalking, muddled consent, &c, I fall back on tolerance of ambiguity.
• Red threads and tangled karmic coincidences - When the childhood connection is revealed, when the karmic dominos spill: that's when I feel  wondering and grateful.

CULTURE SHOCK PAIN POINTS

Full disclosure, though, I absolutely battle culture shock with Asian dramas. 

Animals. 

1. Fur. There was a fur protest thing in the U.S. in the 80s and 90s. So when I see a fur coat, I find myself nervously scanning for someone holding a bag of fake blood. But I get that China is dominant in the fur industry, and I admire the period fur costume artistry.
2. Stressed out animal performers. I see them panting - the whites of their eyes showing. However, that Corgi in Love is Sweet is the most chill animal performer I've ever seen from anywhere.
3. Attitudes towards pets. A pet dog that lives on a porch in Pinocchio. Kim Je Ha being kind to a skinny kitten to show that he's a stray, too, in The K2. A cat symbolizing abject vulnerability in Mouse. On the other hand, thank you, Because This Is My First Life, for featuring a loved up housecat. And so many fluffy cats in fluffy cdramas! Thanks Go Go Squid! and Falling Into Your Smile.
4. Because of the above, I am SO GRATEFUL for CGI animals!

The hitting. Those casual angry/affectionate slaps. And the flicking each other on the forehead. It's not that I disapprove. I just can't stop being aware that in my culture, that behavior would not fly.

Plastic surgery. It took me years to get used to the Hallyu preference for an ice cream cone face shape. I know that's my own ethnocentrism. Hollywood is chock full of jaw fillers. It just seems like if East and West could get on the same page, maybe all the celebrities could go under the knife a little less frequently?

Fan culture. Not gonna lie: It gets to me that celebrities can't publicly date. When that comes up in dramas, I always have to take a minute to grrr. And some fan behavior trips me out. But I realize that there is no way to be a celebrity anywhere in the world without suffering intense scrutiny and being harassed by the "adoring" public.

Last minute separations. If I'm being honest, these took me awhile. Watching one of my first kdramas, I got jolted out of a happy ending haze by learning that someone (who shall not be spoiled) suddenly had to blind off for two years' study in Italy. And to this day I'm actually relieved when two to five years fly by in one episode.

Neurodivergence. Neurodivergent-coded drama characters put me in a universe of uncertainty. In my country, people lean into labels and diagnoses. That's not happening in Asian dramas. So I get distracted by my curiosity. For sure I don't want to blindly impose my own society's mental health doctrines. But if I see someone overcoming their disability with willpower, I'm left with questions.

TWO THINGS I OFTEN FEEL LIKE DEFENDING ON HERE

• International English aka Globish - It’s cool how English as a second language users use English/Globish to communicate among themselves and with speakers of other languages. Heads up for any of you English speakers who complain English isn’t spoken the way you like: you are not the intended audience.
• Theatrical acting styles - Western audiences value realism (probably because the origins of Western theater are so drab compared to traditional Chinese opera / xìqǔ). Growing up in the US, I often heard people dismiss a show with the unexamined judgment: "I just didn't believe it." I appreciate that American actors are skilled at shoot-from-the-hip realness. But I'm bored with that. In contrast, Asian audiences seem to enjoy realism, but also a range of broad and theatrical acting modes. And when a script gets operatic, the performers have to take it to 11 - it’s the acid test for acting skill, and awesome to behold.