There are already some great takes on Jun, but my ego got challenged and I have to be fair, so here’s a breakdown…
Ok this is embarrassingly long, and I believe this now the new record for me, forget the style analysis, psyche analysis is what gets me talking none stop 😂whoo hoo for the soft porn show!!🥳 #TeamJun
There are already some great takes on Jun, but my ego got challenged and I have to be fair, so here’s a breakdown of Jun's emotional arc. Let’s look at him logically. "Take it to court," your CBT therapist might say.
So Jun, it’s your turn <3
1 ~ Jun: A Study in Innocence, Identity & Emotional Erosion~
Jun starts out sweet, flirty, harmless - the group’s favourite house plant. But being treated like a delicate decoration is deeply infantilizing, especially for a teen trying to assert independence. Still, he doesn’t push back. He’s grown up in this dynamic.
Until Sorn happens.
The shift is abrupt. From innocent ML jaunting through a garden to being ravaged in the rain, it's primal, passionate and explosive. This moment cracks his identity wide open. He’s not just 'cute' anymore, he’s desirable. That changes how he sees himself and what he thinks he’s allowed to want.
Like many kids raised to be good, Jun gets a taste of freedom and runs wild, not out of recklessness, but revelation. Suddenly, he’s more than just protected, he feels powerful. He thinks he can enjoy casual sex now, as seen by the girl in the bathroom stalls.
Until Sorn happens, again.
2 ~ Jun's Identity Awakening~ The Awakening No One Prepares You For ~
I am bisexual. I had several moments between the ages of 8 and 14 before it suddenly dawned on me that I had a whole other side to my sexuality. Jun wasn't given that grace. From what we seen, Jun is thrown headfirst into queerness with no roadmap. Instead of gentle discovery, he’s tossed into confusion, desire, and shame. Jun’s arc is one of someone stumbling into queerness, and Sorn is his big, complicated, messy catalyst.
Dating Piang is less about attraction and more about needing to know. They've 'seen each other' for months and have only kissed.
Who am I? What do I like? What does this all mean?
Enter Sorn again, and Jun responds with how he’s learned to survive, cheer, charm, and pretend confidence. "I wasn't shaken at all by what you did to me and then left for two years. I'm spicy Jun now"
Yeah. Sure.
Much like Sorn's ego keeping him in denial to protect him, Jun's ego is doing the same thing.
Sorn absolutely crushes his confidence in those first few episodes. It's only Jun's first day of internship when he's face to face with Sorn again. Sorn makes fun of him for not knowing how the printer works, gets up and personal, draws a cat face on him, forces a kiss, forces him to confess who else he's been with before forcing the kiss, provokes him in the club by making out with a girl in front of him, stands and watches him get beaten, and then tells him how much his kissing sucks and he deserved to be punched for not listening to an adult.
Hm.
Sorn shell shocks Jun into kissing him. He offers to 'teach' him, just like how he did at the Koi pond. That alone makes me more emphatic towards Jun. He has every reason to run from Sorn but doesn't because, like Sorn, he also has a sad case of the feels for Sorn and can't help himself. Another hand job happens and Jun tells Sorn not to tell anyone else. Jun here is mostly, just going with the flow. He doesn't know how Sorn feels about him other than this is how Sorn has always treated him and he's enjoyed the intimacy. Sorn continues to ask for kisses under the guise of 'practise' and Jun becomes muddled with confusion. What is Sorn doing? What does he want?
3 ~Consent, Power, and the Fog of Wanting~ Is Jun compliant?
Jun acts with the emotional capacity he has at this time. Which is not a lot. It’s not 'loose' or immoral, it’s longing for answers.
He confides in Piang about wanting to try being the 'bottom', makes up his mind to be in control and 'find someone', and Franc is sitting smiling at the other side of the seat. Jun wanted someone to tell him what and who he was while drinking his stress away, and Franc said, OK.
Does that make Jun immoral or Franc an opportunist?
And then Sorn happens, again, and whisks him away to safety.
When Jun tells Sorn, while he's pinned to the bed, that it feels different with Sorn, which is why he wanted to try it with someone else. He doesn't know how he's feeling about Sorn now, and is looking for confirmation on a few different questions.
Sorn replies with 'I will show you' and they have sex.
What follows is a sharp contrast - Sorn glows like a honeymooner, while Jun is quiet and indifferent. Was that love? Was that pity? Was he just saved from Franc only to be claimed by Sorn? He’s developing an emotional attachment to Sorn, but he knows Sorn’s patterns. Pick up. Drop. Repeat. Add on top of that, Sorn's obvious relationship with Penny and Jun is actively protecting his heart from running full speed into misery and loss.
He’s still trying to balance his feelings, all while being treated like a joke. So he defaults back to safe terrain, awkwardness, smiles, soft gestures. It becomes safety behaviour.
When Sorn manipulates his way into Jun's dorm room, Jun makes it very clear that it was a one off time. He has no intentions of continuing to sleep with Sorn.
The FWB agreement is where things get emotionally murky and troublesome. Yes, Jun says yes. Yes, he says he enjoys it. But his consent is an uneven emotional landscape, where one person is in control and the other is still figuring out who he is. That's the kind of consent that will have you years later blaming yourself for agreeing to an agreement you weren't emotionally ready or prepared for.
Let's break it down ~ 1. Jun didn’t want sex. That alone is a clear boundary, and it should’ve been enough. But instead of respecting that, Sorn reframes Jun’s reluctance as a lack of skill, a problem he, conveniently, can solve. 2. “You’re not very good at it.” This is a confidence breaking tactic, intentionally or not. It plants self-doubt so Jun think's he's not good enough. Once Jun is in that vulnerable headspace, Sorn follows it with ~ 3. “Let’s be friends with benefits. I'll teach you. No strings attached" Unfortunately, that falls under the category of grooming, masked as generosity. It also implies that Jun owes Sorn his body, in exchange for validation or approval at his 'skill.'
It’s psychological coercion, also called manipulation because it first undermines the person's confidence, then presents a convenient solution, then blurs the line between choice and pressure.
But Jun said, Yes. So saying Jun was consenting, has made me twitch just ever so slightly because it's not always that black and white.
The reason why Jun said yes, is simple. Somewhere beneath the anxiety, Jun wants intimacy with Sorn but does he want this dynamic? This withholding, this constant game of tug and push? Probably not. He agrees because he wants Sorn, and because Sorn frames it as a way to stay close, to let him be free from his social constraints, and no one is getting hurt. Jun even says this. 'We're not hurting anyone', except themselves of course.
Also, Jun’s moment of stopping Sorn, that’s him trying to set his boundaries. But Sorn doesn't know how to honor that without twisting it into seduction again.
That right there, that slow erosion of resolve, the way Jun goes from animated resistance to tired submission is heartbreaking and also chillingly real. You're watching someone fade from excited possibility into accommodation and the tragedy is that it’s not weakness, it’s what happens when longing wears armor.
4 ~ Why Jun Stays - The Invisible Hooks~
Jun stays because Sorn is unfinished business. The person who awakened him, the one who saw through the innocence, the first to make him feel desired in a world that babied him. There’s a kind of emotional imprint that Sorn has left on Jun and then disappeared for two years.
It’s trauma bonding, first love syndrome and emotional gas lighting all at once.
Every time Jun tries to express himself, Sorn punishes him with jealousy, ridicule, or passive aggressive manipulation. Then comes the brief moment of softness or need which hooks Jun again. It's classic push-pull.
1. Sorn acts out 2. Jun suffers but doesn’t leave 3. Sorn offers a lifeline/apology 4. Jun says accepts, hoping this time it will mean something different 5. Sorn reminds him that it never does - except physically
And yet, he still tries despite how Sorn is treating him. He asks questions. He gently asserts himself, however fleeting. He feels the injustice. He notices the imbalance. He flirts back with Sorn at the restaurant with the care bear and at the coffee machine when Sorn insinuates that he is 'his dog'. He tries to play Sorn's game against him but it doesn't work because the emotional ground is still uneven. He is still insecure and inexperienced.
5 ~Why Jom Matters~
By the time we reach Sorn’s family home, Jun isn’t fleeing protection anymore, he’s fleeing Sorn. What was sold as freedom has turned into a gilded cage that demands sex.
Sorn’s own brother tells Jun to ignore Sorn's calls, he doesn't have to pick up. Jun doesn't owe Sorn anything. But when Jun returns covered in a rash, Sorn strips him, sets him on the counter, spreads his legs and stares. That moment isn’t about care. It’s possession. A quiet command to his pet dog. ~ Don’t stray. You’re mine. My needs come before yours ~ Before Jun can even shower, Sorn demands intimacy.
When Jun finally hears from Sorn's own mouth, he can't fall in love with him. Jun has bowed and accepted Sorn's behaviour all this time, hoping love could form between the cracks if he does what's he told like a good boy, only to hear that Sorn is actively against loving him.
To be broken down into a 'dog' who must obey master at all times, to willingly accept that treatment of yourself because you love them, only then to overhear master say, 'uhh, yeah, I'll fall in love with anyone but them,'
Ow.
Enter Jom.
Quiet. Respectful. Non-threatening. He brings snacks instead of demands. He’s the first to treat Jun like a person and validates his feelings. He is showing Jun how he's meant to be treated.
At the bar, Sorn storms in like a betrayed husband and hauls Jun off like a misbehaving child in front of everyone. Up until then, he was just trying to stay out of his way. The safe way out. Don't make a noise, don't cause a fuss. To snatch him away from a moment of relief, publicly, as though he was in the wrong, that’s what finally severs the hooks Sorn has over Jun.
Sorn doesn't want Jun's love, he wants control over Jun.
6 ~The Power of That Confrontation~
This moment is Jun’s final stand. He's wasn't shifting the blame. It’s Jun's injured pride and broken heart, that’s been politely smiling, stepping aside, and swallowing the hurt, finally rising up and saying “Enough.” He told Sorn exactly how he's been treated and how he's been made to feel.
When Sorn grabs Jun by the jaw and tells him to stop shouting at him because how dare he raise his voice to Sorn, that's called coercive control behavior, a physical silencing tactic. Literally holding your jaw shut. It isn’t about what’s being said, it's about re-establishing dominance. But Jun knocked that hand off like it burned him. In that one moment, Jun finally said, " I will not be kept small just so you can feel big"
And then he lays it out. Always using Thai as an excuse to control him, telling him he's protecting him because he was told to, and initiated all the sex. Jun turns the emotional debt book towards Sorn and says, “Here. Look. This is what your fear did to me.”
And then tops it off with 'I hate you, you piece of shit, Sorn'.
I was euphoric LOL
7 ~The Exit Is the Bravest Thing Jun’s Done~
Jun cutting off contact is the start of being able to define intimacy on his terms. It’s the kindest thing he could do for both of them. Sorn needs to sort himself out and Jun needs to walk with a reclaimed sense of self. He needs to believe that he's worthy of love that doesn't demand the surrender of his voice to receive it. He was never the problem. It was Sorn's inability to deal with his own trauma and Jun got pulled into it.
In reality, Jun shouldn't be dating anyone, honestly, but this is BL land, so hopefully, Jun is allowed to be himself for an episode at least, while Sorn grovels and pays back the emotional devastation he owes Jun.
As a viewer, I'm still #TeamJun (*edit* he has his own story to tell and I'll do him later) ~ but I consider myself an empathic person and my inner counsellor/druid/hippy dippy does understand Sorn.
Let me chew over it this morning ~
He's an emotional paradox. His behavior is frustrating but also deeply shaped by guilt, shame, fear, and unresolved trauma masquerading as principles.
~Sorn's Core Wound ~ His Origin Story ~
His girlfriend throwing him under the bus rewired how Sorn relates to vulnerability and control. His decision to never date someone younger again is his defense mechanism.
In his head, youth = danger = unpredictability = loss of control. The ego is our deepest sense of self, and it will retaliate when it has been injured or questioned, by creating some pretenses for us to hold onto so we can feel safe in our own skin again. The old 'it wasn't my fault' is the usual defense. For Sorn, it's detachment from the thing that hurt him ~ younger people. He doesn't actual 'hate kids', he hates what happened to him.
So when Jun enters the picture with all his youthful mischievousness, he triggers every warning bell Sorn’s built into his internal system. However, Sorn’s feelings and desires, betray the logic of his trauma constructed safe house, so he doesn’t let himself love Jun openly. He's re-routed that affection into sex, a space where he can still assert control, while still convincing himself that he's not in love, keeping his little mental safe house in tact.
~ The Power Dynamic ~
Sorn is emotionally entangled, deeply possessive, and jealous as hell over Jun. But admitting he loves him would shatter the wall he’s built between himself and his past. By insisting they’re just friends with benefits, he’s convinced himself he’s still safe, emotionally uninvolved, not vulnerable, not at risk of being destroyed again.
It is what we all see it to be, and the usual culprit of human nonsense - he's scared.
~ What's happening now ~
I can believe that Sorn is afraid of losing Thai's friendship to an extent, but it's just another excuse, another defense mechanism to add weight to Sorn's denial so he can feel safe. As Thai said after punching him, if Sorn really was worried about what Thai thought, why initiate a fwb relationship?
Because he wants to satiate his desires, without facing himself. To admit he loves Jun means 2 things to his ego - 1 - the loss of control - the only thing keeping him at a safe distance from what originally hurt him 2 - facing himself - because admitting not only means he's opened himself up to be hurt again by a younger person, but that he's also capable of hurting Jun. He loves him. He wants to take care of him. Convincing Jun of fwb is another lie to himself that Jun won't get hurt either.
So he becomes stubborn, digs his heels in and pouts like a baby in the crossfire between his present and his past, becoming the very thing he's most terrified of, which is being the senior who's using his junior, hurting Jun to the point of no contact and thus inflicting the pain he's been trying to avoid for years.
We always end up doing it to ourselves.
We're at a pivotal moment now. Thai literally punched the sense into Sorn, got him to admit his feelings and now that Jun is gone, Sorn has to sit with them, and himself while his ego breaks down. This is a very painful process because our ego's dont like being challenged. It's job is to keep us emotionally sound, even if that means lying to ourselves into a delusional state. His beard may be fake but the self inflicted consequences are not.
The defense has now been stripped away and Sorn has only the symbolic rhino to keep him company. Rhino's themselves are a paradox. They symbolise hidden depth beneath a tough exterior, just like Sorn. He charged head first into sex with Jun because he couldn't resist, tossing Jun's heart up into the air, only to shatter on the ground.
But, they also mean resilience and regrowth as their horn, when broken off can regrow. This is a beautiful little tidbit brought in, that they used a rhino instead of a standard teddy.
Sorn's horn, his symbol of power and his ego based beliefs (also a phallic symbol) has been broken off, as Jun slammed the door in his face. Now he's sitting amongst the grey coloured room, with this rhino, his present to and with Jun, hoping that it will regrow.
I'll admit that I was one of those saying he was "pressuring" Sorn at first just because of the wording he used.…
& @Oddsare
This is why I always say that the individual psychology of the viewer is important, despite the rebuttals of what the bigger impact is.
I have been Jun with someone who was too wrapped up in their own drama to care about the drama they were creating with me. So I, from the start, have always seen through Jun's eyes and whole heartedly supported him because that's what I've learned in my own life.
Conversations like this are important and validating as human beings so we can understand differing opinions and empathize with them, rather than just getting angry and calling each other names. It's not often I come across discussion like this in mdl comments. Usually it's just name calling and smack talk LOL
At the end of part 3, * hands up* I did, I seen it coming. I commented here when Destiny first showed it's self and that they would merge at the end. And I believe a few of us said that the final mission will be Jued and Off LOL This is has been a great show honestly though.
I'm not feeling very well today, so I'm wrapped up rewatching this, and I just realised in the opening scene, Jun is wearing the same brown striped shirt he wore in ep 9, in fetal position on the sofa 😂That's a fascinating correlation there. Dyed with essence of a la Sorn from scene 1 😂
You need to know that at work, whenever I see such long email it goes into one folder, where I've been the champ…
Oh that was just wardrobe saying, we've got a sexy, care free character and Dunk has a flat stomach and teeny waist to match. Perfect. Joong can tear it off him several times LOL
You need to know that at work, whenever I see such long email it goes into one folder, where I've been the champ…
I do. I care very much about the visual story telling LOL It was Oddsare that was doing break downs on for The Heart Killers and I was so happy to find a kindred soul that cared as much as I do about the plastic kinder egg jewellery LOL
Styling isn’t just vain aesthetics, it’s how I understand people. I was a quiet child, a confused teenager, and it took me over a decade to grasp how my brain works. I connect more through how people express themselves than through their words, and that naturally carries over into fiction.
More than romance, I read characters through their styling - the way it betrays emotions before anyone says anything.
So allow me to nerd out a bit for this episode because I really loved the visual cues of up and down emotions.
The Emotional Language of Styling - As seen through the eyes of an aesthetic obsessed semi ace who finds more thrill in the styling department than in the smutt 😂
Hair ~ Emotional Journey. Take your favourite show, and watch the lead character's hair change to mimic their journey and growth. Hair is the quickest and easiest way for a character to show their feelings, especially in film because the camera is often focused on their head, neck and shoulders. Although this is much easier on women, there are subtle ways for men.
Sorn’s hair alone says a lot. Despite resembling Boss from LITA, a tight brushed back ponytail is all about restriction, structure and the stiff upper lip. Ariana Grande didn't just bring ponytails back, she also said 'Keep it Together' for a number of years. For Sorn, he has one thin piece of hair fallen loose, which for me, gives the impression that he's about to burst. His hair band is about to snap and his hair is just going to dramatically fall around his face like a shampoo commercial. He's been keeping it together for a little too long that he's now starting to crack at the seams. Just like Payu in LITA, it's the love interest that is taking the scissors to that long suffering hair band.
The style doesn't suit Boat's facial features, he doesn't have Boss's cheekbones, which is why it looks a little off on him, but the idea for the character is to give that cool bad boy aesthetic. It's meant to say that this character is with holding a lot of emotion and/or a wild side.
Last week, as Sorn spoke to his brother about how he could never be with Jun, his tangled man bun (the same one Jun had pulled into place during their bathroom counter rendezvous) was still holding strong. His words said one thing, but his hair betrayed the truth ~ Sorn is completely, hopelessly entwined in Jun. It reminded me of my stray nipple hair observation from their first love scene. Sorn is so in love that he’ll take whatever version of Jun he’s given.
Then we shift to the bedroom. Sorn’s bun is barely holding together, just like his emotional state. It looks even messier here like the band is going to snap at any minute. In contrast, Jun’s hair, is brushed forward, covering his eyes. While Sorn is about to burst into a song and dance, Jun is silently hiding his freshly broken heart. This scene was particular raw for me. They had romantic music over it and all I could think of was, uhhhhhh, nooo, editing team, this is not the right time for this music. LOL
At home, Sorn’s hair is finally loose but tidy, a step toward emotional openness. But Jun is going in to himself. His hair remains brushed into his eyes, reflecting his emotional retreat. And then there’s his shirt choice - oversized, open, dark, muddied colors, drowning him in someone else’s flavours. The thick stripes resemble bars, visually trapping him. In my neck of the woods, there classic rugby shirts, and to me, that says, they're about to tackle each other very soon.
~Clothing If hair is the emotional ground, the clothing is the shield, or lack of one.
Sorn’s wardrobe is quietly telling us who he is. His casual wear isn’t ripped jeans and a graphic tee, he doesn't have the cool guy look despite his hair. Instead, he’s dressed like a reserved schoolboy, collared shirts giving him structure. Perhaps mirroring his ruined reputation when he was a schoolboy. It's only in the office when he's seen with gelled hair, open shirt to display his collarbones, I can almost smell his cologne through the screen. He's fully masked for the world. His emotional chaos is safely concealed behind this image.
Jun, meanwhile, is in a safe and friendly plain white shirt and black pants. Hair neatly parted. He's tidy and semi professional looking with not much personality showing through. He's a blank slate to the corporate world. Suitable for an intern. But outside, we see his character much more clearly. He wears a lot of graphics and t shirts. He's boyish, youthful and fun loving. That shirt he was wearing at the start of the episode with Sorn, looked awful on him because that's not who he is. It looked like a costume that was mimicking Sorn's outfit, as a safety net to protect his feelings and keep things friendly with Sorn.
A really beautifully designed scene was in the staff room, where Jun is just so done, he can't even bring himself to argue with Sorn, despite being chastised for leaving Sorn in the dust.
Both Jun and Sorn are mirroring with the classic yin and yang. Jun is in his usual, non identity work outfit while Sorn is countering Jun with a dark grey shirt and white pants, so that works nicely with their little back and forth spat. It's in this scene when I first noticed the painting behind Jun on the wall. A black and white photo of a Roman/Grecian structure with pillars and lit lanterns, the yellow light being the only colour. Jun is completed closed off, walled up, behind those large pillars, completely numbed to everything around him. He's just going through the motions. But Sorn is right in front of him and shouting, like a burning yellow glow in all the gray. Both harsh and bright, as well as soft and warm. Jun is conflicted between wanting to be with and wanting to run away from Sorn. Sorn isn't any different. The background behind him is nearly the same grey as his shirt, with spot lights dotted. He's is also confused and is just following the trail to find some sort of answer.
After this, Sorn switches to an all black suit to showcase his dominance over Jun. He was a literal wall between Jun and Jom.
Then, when we get to the bar scene, the balance shifts. Jun returns to his natural youthful, trendy styling. But this time, it's black and red (which kind of matched the bar LED screen behind him LOL) And then when I got a closer look, it was racing jacket. Interesting. His hair was also much softer, and casually styled. Although he was shifting gears, and still hiding his feelings, it still showed that he felt a lot more comfortable with Jom than he did with Sorn.
When Sorn storms in later, it's not just saying that he's jumped into his car in his lounge wear, the all black vest, the track pants, he’s stripped down now, clinging to a pinstripe shirt over his shoulder like it’s his last shred of dignity.
During the argument at home, Jun's racing motif jacket fits the scene as Jun slams his foot down on the accelerator, lets all his feelings out to the sound of a revved engine, and drives a stake through the energy vampire's heart. Gloriously done by Oat <3
When Jun knocks Sorn's hand away and the shirt falls. That's it. Game over. Sorn has nothing left to defend himself with. He just has to stand there, in a vulnerable outfit, a lot of skin exposed and taking the lashing from Jun's verbal claws.
He spends the rest of the episode in either all black suit, calculating his next move, or the red shirt he is wearing when he's texting Jun some lovely threats about finding him like a serial killer LOL And then the classic grey. Void of all feeling.
In the last scene, I noticed how monotone everything was. Sorn's grey shirt, the soft grey sofa, the curtains, Champ's white shirt making him look like a part of the white wall behind him. Everything had a very soft, colourless lens, before finally leaving us with the shot of the fluffy grey rhino. For Sorn, he might as well be in an empty room with this rhino, giving him a hard stare because that's how he feels. The curtains are closed and the coloured cushions are gone. There is no life without Jun.
Despite the sponged on beard they tried on Boat's beautifully kissable face, the art of styling is storytelling without words. If you can turn off the sound, and still feel your way through a show, then the styling has been done right, even if it's not to your taste.
Thank you for making it to the end of possibly my longest comment to date LOL
K-Drama 
4 
1 
1 
"Take it to court," your CBT therapist might say.
So Jun, it’s your turn <3
1 ~ Jun: A Study in Innocence, Identity & Emotional Erosion~
Jun starts out sweet, flirty, harmless - the group’s favourite house plant. But being treated like a delicate decoration is deeply infantilizing, especially for a teen trying to assert independence. Still, he doesn’t push back. He’s grown up in this dynamic.
Until Sorn happens.
The shift is abrupt. From innocent ML jaunting through a garden to being ravaged in the rain, it's primal, passionate and explosive. This moment cracks his identity wide open. He’s not just 'cute' anymore, he’s desirable. That changes how he sees himself and what he thinks he’s allowed to want.
Like many kids raised to be good, Jun gets a taste of freedom and runs wild, not out of recklessness, but revelation. Suddenly, he’s more than just protected, he feels powerful. He thinks he can enjoy casual sex now, as seen by the girl in the bathroom stalls.
Until Sorn happens, again.
2 ~ Jun's Identity Awakening~ The Awakening No One Prepares You For ~
I am bisexual. I had several moments between the ages of 8 and 14 before it suddenly dawned on me that I had a whole other side to my sexuality. Jun wasn't given that grace. From what we seen, Jun is thrown headfirst into queerness with no roadmap. Instead of gentle discovery, he’s tossed into confusion, desire, and shame.
Jun’s arc is one of someone stumbling into queerness, and Sorn is his big, complicated, messy catalyst.
Dating Piang is less about attraction and more about needing to know. They've 'seen each other' for months and have only kissed.
Who am I? What do I like? What does this all mean?
Enter Sorn again, and Jun responds with how he’s learned to survive, cheer, charm, and pretend confidence.
"I wasn't shaken at all by what you did to me and then left for two years. I'm spicy Jun now"
Yeah. Sure.
Much like Sorn's ego keeping him in denial to protect him, Jun's ego is doing the same thing.
Sorn absolutely crushes his confidence in those first few episodes. It's only Jun's first day of internship when he's face to face with Sorn again.
Sorn makes fun of him for not knowing how the printer works, gets up and personal, draws a cat face on him, forces a kiss, forces him to confess who else he's been with before forcing the kiss, provokes him in the club by making out with a girl in front of him, stands and watches him get beaten, and then tells him how much his kissing sucks and he deserved to be punched for not listening to an adult.
Hm.
Sorn shell shocks Jun into kissing him. He offers to 'teach' him, just like how he did at the Koi pond. That alone makes me more emphatic towards Jun.
He has every reason to run from Sorn but doesn't because, like Sorn, he also has a sad case of the feels for Sorn and can't help himself.
Another hand job happens and Jun tells Sorn not to tell anyone else. Jun here is mostly, just going with the flow. He doesn't know how Sorn feels about him other than this is how Sorn has always treated him and he's enjoyed the intimacy.
Sorn continues to ask for kisses under the guise of 'practise' and Jun becomes muddled with confusion. What is Sorn doing? What does he want?
3 ~Consent, Power, and the Fog of Wanting~ Is Jun compliant?
Jun acts with the emotional capacity he has at this time. Which is not a lot. It’s not 'loose' or immoral, it’s longing for answers.
He confides in Piang about wanting to try being the 'bottom', makes up his mind to be in control and 'find someone', and Franc is sitting smiling at the other side of the seat. Jun wanted someone to tell him what and who he was while drinking his stress away, and Franc said, OK.
Does that make Jun immoral or Franc an opportunist?
And then Sorn happens, again, and whisks him away to safety.
When Jun tells Sorn, while he's pinned to the bed, that it feels different with Sorn, which is why he wanted to try it with someone else. He doesn't know how he's feeling about Sorn now, and is looking for confirmation on a few different questions.
Sorn replies with 'I will show you' and they have sex.
What follows is a sharp contrast - Sorn glows like a honeymooner, while Jun is quiet and indifferent. Was that love? Was that pity? Was he just saved from Franc only to be claimed by Sorn?
He’s developing an emotional attachment to Sorn, but he knows Sorn’s patterns.
Pick up. Drop. Repeat.
Add on top of that, Sorn's obvious relationship with Penny and Jun is actively protecting his heart from running full speed into misery and loss.
He’s still trying to balance his feelings, all while being treated like a joke. So he defaults back to safe terrain, awkwardness, smiles, soft gestures. It becomes safety behaviour.
When Sorn manipulates his way into Jun's dorm room, Jun makes it very clear that it was a one off time. He has no intentions of continuing to sleep with Sorn.
The FWB agreement is where things get emotionally murky and troublesome.
Yes, Jun says yes.
Yes, he says he enjoys it.
But his consent is an uneven emotional landscape, where one person is in control and the other is still figuring out who he is.
That's the kind of consent that will have you years later blaming yourself for agreeing to an agreement you weren't emotionally ready or prepared for.
Let's break it down ~
1. Jun didn’t want sex. That alone is a clear boundary, and it should’ve been enough. But instead of respecting that, Sorn reframes Jun’s reluctance as a lack of skill, a problem he, conveniently, can solve.
2. “You’re not very good at it.” This is a confidence breaking tactic, intentionally or not. It plants self-doubt so Jun think's he's not good enough. Once Jun is in that vulnerable headspace, Sorn follows it with ~
3. “Let’s be friends with benefits. I'll teach you. No strings attached" Unfortunately, that falls under the category of grooming, masked as generosity. It also implies that Jun owes Sorn his body, in exchange for validation or approval at his 'skill.'
It’s psychological coercion, also called manipulation because it first undermines the person's confidence, then presents a convenient solution, then blurs the line between choice and pressure.
But Jun said, Yes. So saying Jun was consenting, has made me twitch just ever so slightly because it's not always that black and white.
The reason why Jun said yes, is simple. Somewhere beneath the anxiety, Jun wants intimacy with Sorn but does he want this dynamic? This withholding, this constant game of tug and push? Probably not. He agrees because he wants Sorn, and because Sorn frames it as a way to stay close, to let him be free from his social constraints, and no one is getting hurt. Jun even says this. 'We're not hurting anyone', except themselves of course.
Also, Jun’s moment of stopping Sorn, that’s him trying to set his boundaries. But Sorn doesn't know how to honor that without twisting it into seduction again.
That right there, that slow erosion of resolve, the way Jun goes from animated resistance to tired submission is heartbreaking and also chillingly real.
You're watching someone fade from excited possibility into accommodation and the tragedy is that it’s not weakness, it’s what happens when longing wears armor.
4 ~ Why Jun Stays - The Invisible Hooks~
Jun stays because Sorn is unfinished business. The person who awakened him, the one who saw through the innocence, the first to make him feel desired in a world that babied him. There’s a kind of emotional imprint that Sorn has left on Jun and then disappeared for two years.
It’s trauma bonding, first love syndrome and emotional gas lighting all at once.
Every time Jun tries to express himself, Sorn punishes him with jealousy, ridicule, or passive aggressive manipulation. Then comes the brief moment of softness or need which hooks Jun again. It's classic push-pull.
1. Sorn acts out
2. Jun suffers but doesn’t leave
3. Sorn offers a lifeline/apology
4. Jun says accepts, hoping this time it will mean something different
5. Sorn reminds him that it never does - except physically
And yet, he still tries despite how Sorn is treating him. He asks questions. He gently asserts himself, however fleeting. He feels the injustice. He notices the imbalance. He flirts back with Sorn at the restaurant with the care bear and at the coffee machine when Sorn insinuates that he is 'his dog'. He tries to play Sorn's game against him but it doesn't work because the emotional ground is still uneven. He is still insecure and inexperienced.
5 ~Why Jom Matters~
By the time we reach Sorn’s family home, Jun isn’t fleeing protection anymore, he’s fleeing Sorn. What was sold as freedom has turned into a gilded cage that demands sex.
Sorn’s own brother tells Jun to ignore Sorn's calls, he doesn't have to pick up. Jun doesn't owe Sorn anything.
But when Jun returns covered in a rash, Sorn strips him, sets him on the counter, spreads his legs and stares. That moment isn’t about care. It’s possession. A quiet command to his pet dog.
~ Don’t stray. You’re mine. My needs come before yours ~
Before Jun can even shower, Sorn demands intimacy.
When Jun finally hears from Sorn's own mouth, he can't fall in love with him. Jun has bowed and accepted Sorn's behaviour all this time, hoping love could form between the cracks if he does what's he told like a good boy, only to hear that Sorn is actively against loving him.
To be broken down into a 'dog' who must obey master at all times, to willingly accept that treatment of yourself because you love them, only then to overhear master say, 'uhh, yeah, I'll fall in love with anyone but them,'
Ow.
Enter Jom.
Quiet. Respectful. Non-threatening. He brings snacks instead of demands. He’s the first to treat Jun like a person and validates his feelings. He is showing Jun how he's meant to be treated.
At the bar, Sorn storms in like a betrayed husband and hauls Jun off like a misbehaving child in front of everyone. Up until then, he was just trying to stay out of his way. The safe way out. Don't make a noise, don't cause a fuss. To snatch him away from a moment of relief, publicly, as though he was in the wrong, that’s what finally severs the hooks Sorn has over Jun.
Sorn doesn't want Jun's love, he wants control over Jun.
6 ~The Power of That Confrontation~
This moment is Jun’s final stand. He's wasn't shifting the blame. It’s Jun's injured pride and broken heart, that’s been politely smiling, stepping aside, and swallowing the hurt, finally rising up and saying “Enough.”
He told Sorn exactly how he's been treated and how he's been made to feel.
When Sorn grabs Jun by the jaw and tells him to stop shouting at him because how dare he raise his voice to Sorn, that's called coercive control behavior, a physical silencing tactic.
Literally holding your jaw shut.
It isn’t about what’s being said, it's about re-establishing dominance. But Jun knocked that hand off like it burned him. In that one moment, Jun finally said, " I will not be kept small just so you can feel big"
And then he lays it out. Always using Thai as an excuse to control him, telling him he's protecting him because he was told to, and initiated all the sex. Jun turns the emotional debt book towards Sorn and says, “Here. Look. This is what your fear did to me.”
And then tops it off with 'I hate you, you piece of shit, Sorn'.
I was euphoric LOL
7 ~The Exit Is the Bravest Thing Jun’s Done~
Jun cutting off contact is the start of being able to define intimacy on his terms. It’s the kindest thing he could do for both of them. Sorn needs to sort himself out and Jun needs to walk with a reclaimed sense of self. He needs to believe that he's worthy of love that doesn't demand the surrender of his voice to receive it. He was never the problem. It was Sorn's inability to deal with his own trauma and Jun got pulled into it.
In reality, Jun shouldn't be dating anyone, honestly, but this is BL land, so hopefully, Jun is allowed to be himself for an episode at least, while Sorn grovels and pays back the emotional devastation he owes Jun.
Let me chew over it this morning ~
He's an emotional paradox. His behavior is frustrating but also deeply shaped by guilt, shame, fear, and unresolved trauma masquerading as principles.
~Sorn's Core Wound ~ His Origin Story ~
His girlfriend throwing him under the bus rewired how Sorn relates to vulnerability and control. His decision to never date someone younger again is his defense mechanism.
In his head, youth = danger = unpredictability = loss of control. The ego is our deepest sense of self, and it will retaliate when it has been injured or questioned, by creating some pretenses for us to hold onto so we can feel safe in our own skin again. The old 'it wasn't my fault' is the usual defense. For Sorn, it's detachment from the thing that hurt him ~ younger people. He doesn't actual 'hate kids', he hates what happened to him.
So when Jun enters the picture with all his youthful mischievousness, he triggers every warning bell Sorn’s built into his internal system.
However, Sorn’s feelings and desires, betray the logic of his trauma constructed safe house, so he doesn’t let himself love Jun openly. He's re-routed that affection into sex, a space where he can still assert control, while still convincing himself that he's not in love, keeping his little mental safe house in tact.
~ The Power Dynamic ~
Sorn is emotionally entangled, deeply possessive, and jealous as hell over Jun. But admitting he loves him would shatter the wall he’s built between himself and his past. By insisting they’re just friends with benefits, he’s convinced himself he’s still safe, emotionally uninvolved, not vulnerable, not at risk of being destroyed again.
It is what we all see it to be, and the usual culprit of human nonsense - he's scared.
~ What's happening now ~
I can believe that Sorn is afraid of losing Thai's friendship to an extent, but it's just another excuse, another defense mechanism to add weight to Sorn's denial so he can feel safe.
As Thai said after punching him, if Sorn really was worried about what Thai thought, why initiate a fwb relationship?
Because he wants to satiate his desires, without facing himself. To admit he loves Jun means 2 things to his ego -
1 - the loss of control - the only thing keeping him at a safe distance from what originally hurt him
2 - facing himself - because admitting not only means he's opened himself up to be hurt again by a younger person, but that he's also capable of hurting Jun. He loves him. He wants to take care of him. Convincing Jun of fwb is another lie to himself that Jun won't get hurt either.
So he becomes stubborn, digs his heels in and pouts like a baby in the crossfire between his present and his past, becoming the very thing he's most terrified of, which is being the senior who's using his junior, hurting Jun to the point of no contact and thus inflicting the pain he's been trying to avoid for years.
We always end up doing it to ourselves.
We're at a pivotal moment now. Thai literally punched the sense into Sorn, got him to admit his feelings and now that Jun is gone, Sorn has to sit with them, and himself while his ego breaks down. This is a very painful process because our ego's dont like being challenged. It's job is to keep us emotionally sound, even if that means lying to ourselves into a delusional state. His beard may be fake but the self inflicted consequences are not.
The defense has now been stripped away and Sorn has only the symbolic rhino to keep him company. Rhino's themselves are a paradox. They symbolise hidden depth beneath a tough exterior, just like Sorn. He charged head first into sex with Jun because he couldn't resist, tossing Jun's heart up into the air, only to shatter on the ground.
But, they also mean resilience and regrowth as their horn, when broken off can regrow. This is a beautiful little tidbit brought in, that they used a rhino instead of a standard teddy.
Sorn's horn, his symbol of power and his ego based beliefs (also a phallic symbol) has been broken off, as Jun slammed the door in his face. Now he's sitting amongst the grey coloured room, with this rhino, his present to and with Jun, hoping that it will regrow.
This is why I always say that the individual psychology of the viewer is important, despite the rebuttals of what the bigger impact is.
I have been Jun with someone who was too wrapped up in their own drama to care about the drama they were creating with me. So I, from the start, have always seen through Jun's eyes and whole heartedly supported him because that's what I've learned in my own life.
Conversations like this are important and validating as human beings so we can understand differing opinions and empathize with them, rather than just getting angry and calling each other names. It's not often I come across discussion like this in mdl comments. Usually it's just name calling and smack talk LOL
That was very refreshing to read guys.
More than romance, I read characters through their styling - the way it betrays emotions before anyone says anything.
So allow me to nerd out a bit for this episode because I really loved the visual cues of up and down emotions.
The Emotional Language of Styling - As seen through the eyes of an aesthetic obsessed semi ace who finds more thrill in the styling department than in the smutt 😂
Hair ~ Emotional Journey.
Take your favourite show, and watch the lead character's hair change to mimic their journey and growth.
Hair is the quickest and easiest way for a character to show their feelings, especially in film because the camera is often focused on their head, neck and shoulders. Although this is much easier on women, there are subtle ways for men.
Sorn’s hair alone says a lot. Despite resembling Boss from LITA, a tight brushed back ponytail is all about restriction, structure and the stiff upper lip. Ariana Grande didn't just bring ponytails back, she also said 'Keep it Together' for a number of years. For Sorn, he has one thin piece of hair fallen loose, which for me, gives the impression that he's about to burst. His hair band is about to snap and his hair is just going to dramatically fall around his face like a shampoo commercial. He's been keeping it together for a little too long that he's now starting to crack at the seams. Just like Payu in LITA, it's the love interest that is taking the scissors to that long suffering hair band.
The style doesn't suit Boat's facial features, he doesn't have Boss's cheekbones, which is why it looks a little off on him, but the idea for the character is to give that cool bad boy aesthetic. It's meant to say that this character is with holding a lot of emotion and/or a wild side.
Last week, as Sorn spoke to his brother about how he could never be with Jun, his tangled man bun (the same one Jun had pulled into place during their bathroom counter rendezvous) was still holding strong. His words said one thing, but his hair betrayed the truth ~ Sorn is completely, hopelessly entwined in Jun. It reminded me of my stray nipple hair observation from their first love scene. Sorn is so in love that he’ll take whatever version of Jun he’s given.
Then we shift to the bedroom. Sorn’s bun is barely holding together, just like his emotional state. It looks even messier here like the band is going to snap at any minute.
In contrast, Jun’s hair, is brushed forward, covering his eyes. While Sorn is about to burst into a song and dance, Jun is silently hiding his freshly broken heart. This scene was particular raw for me. They had romantic music over it and all I could think of was, uhhhhhh, nooo, editing team, this is not the right time for this music. LOL
At home, Sorn’s hair is finally loose but tidy, a step toward emotional openness. But Jun is going in to himself. His hair remains brushed into his eyes, reflecting his emotional retreat. And then there’s his shirt choice - oversized, open, dark, muddied colors, drowning him in someone else’s flavours. The thick stripes resemble bars, visually trapping him. In my neck of the woods, there classic rugby shirts, and to me, that says, they're about to tackle each other very soon.
~Clothing
If hair is the emotional ground, the clothing is the shield, or lack of one.
Sorn’s wardrobe is quietly telling us who he is. His casual wear isn’t ripped jeans and a graphic tee, he doesn't have the cool guy look despite his hair. Instead, he’s dressed like a reserved schoolboy, collared shirts giving him structure. Perhaps mirroring his ruined reputation when he was a schoolboy.
It's only in the office when he's seen with gelled hair, open shirt to display his collarbones, I can almost smell his cologne through the screen. He's fully masked for the world. His emotional chaos is safely concealed behind this image.
Jun, meanwhile, is in a safe and friendly plain white shirt and black pants. Hair neatly parted. He's tidy and semi professional looking with not much personality showing through. He's a blank slate to the corporate world. Suitable for an intern.
But outside, we see his character much more clearly. He wears a lot of graphics and t shirts. He's boyish, youthful and fun loving.
That shirt he was wearing at the start of the episode with Sorn, looked awful on him because that's not who he is. It looked like a costume that was mimicking Sorn's outfit, as a safety net to protect his feelings and keep things friendly with Sorn.
A really beautifully designed scene was in the staff room, where Jun is just so done, he can't even bring himself to argue with Sorn, despite being chastised for leaving Sorn in the dust.
Both Jun and Sorn are mirroring with the classic yin and yang. Jun is in his usual, non identity work outfit while Sorn is countering Jun with a dark grey shirt and white pants, so that works nicely with their little back and forth spat.
It's in this scene when I first noticed the painting behind Jun on the wall. A black and white photo of a Roman/Grecian structure with pillars and lit lanterns, the yellow light being the only colour.
Jun is completed closed off, walled up, behind those large pillars, completely numbed to everything around him. He's just going through the motions. But Sorn is right in front of him and shouting, like a burning yellow glow in all the gray. Both harsh and bright, as well as soft and warm. Jun is conflicted between wanting to be with and wanting to run away from Sorn.
Sorn isn't any different. The background behind him is nearly the same grey as his shirt, with spot lights dotted. He's is also confused and is just following the trail to find some sort of answer.
After this, Sorn switches to an all black suit to showcase his dominance over Jun. He was a literal wall between Jun and Jom.
Then, when we get to the bar scene, the balance shifts. Jun returns to his natural youthful, trendy styling. But this time, it's black and red (which kind of matched the bar LED screen behind him LOL) And then when I got a closer look, it was racing jacket. Interesting. His hair was also much softer, and casually styled. Although he was shifting gears, and still hiding his feelings, it still showed that he felt a lot more comfortable with Jom than he did with Sorn.
When Sorn storms in later, it's not just saying that he's jumped into his car in his lounge wear, the all black vest, the track pants, he’s stripped down now, clinging to a pinstripe shirt over his shoulder like it’s his last shred of dignity.
During the argument at home, Jun's racing motif jacket fits the scene as Jun slams his foot down on the accelerator, lets all his feelings out to the sound of a revved engine, and drives a stake through the energy vampire's heart. Gloriously done by Oat <3
When Jun knocks Sorn's hand away and the shirt falls. That's it. Game over. Sorn has nothing left to defend himself with. He just has to stand there, in a vulnerable outfit, a lot of skin exposed and taking the lashing from Jun's verbal claws.
He spends the rest of the episode in either all black suit, calculating his next move, or the red shirt he is wearing when he's texting Jun some lovely threats about finding him like a serial killer LOL
And then the classic grey. Void of all feeling.
In the last scene, I noticed how monotone everything was. Sorn's grey shirt, the soft grey sofa, the curtains, Champ's white shirt making him look like a part of the white wall behind him. Everything had a very soft, colourless lens, before finally leaving us with the shot of the fluffy grey rhino. For Sorn, he might as well be in an empty room with this rhino, giving him a hard stare because that's how he feels. The curtains are closed and the coloured cushions are gone. There is no life without Jun.
Despite the sponged on beard they tried on Boat's beautifully kissable face, the art of styling is storytelling without words. If you can turn off the sound, and still feel your way through a show, then the styling has been done right, even if it's not to your taste.
Thank you for making it to the end of possibly my longest comment to date LOL