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"If I understood him I’d lose him”
Stolen Life starring Zhao Xun showed how being brought up without real affection and acceptance can lead a young woman to settle for whatever crumbs she can glean from a man who is the very definition of a red flag. People can perform all sorts of mental gymnastics to avoid facing the truth and in this tale, Yan Ni paid a heavy price for ignoring the glaring warning signs.
Wu Yan Ni lives with her grandmother and aunt in Beijing. Her mother was an “intellectual” sent to the countryside where she met Yan Ni’s father. Quiet Yan Ni rarely sees her mother and meets her father for the first time when she’s fourteen. The women think she should learn a trade and marry. Her father declares she should go to college (university) so that her future would hold more opportunities than theirs. On her first day at the university, she meets a handsome delivery driver named Mu Yu. He showers her with attention and small gifts which causes Yan Ni to lose her heart…and her common sense.
This film highlighted the problems that can arise from not communicating. Yan Ni’s mom never told her why she was living with her grandmother leaving Yan Ni to believe she’d been abandoned. For fourteen years her father never made contact. Yan Ni was so afraid of being alone that she never asked Mu Yu any personal questions for fear of the answers or upsetting him. She knew instinctively and empirically when he was lying to her yet chose to ignore the facts in order to stay with him. It was like watching a person continually swerve into oncoming traffic and expecting to not get hit. The costs to her physical and mental health continued to grow.
Stolen Life was frustrating to watch, especially with most of Yan Ni’s feelings being explained by a voiceover, not shown through her actions and reactions. Whatever the artistic reason for the scene-by-scene narration, it cost the story emotional integrity and distanced this viewer from the characters due to the near constant interruptions. It really was a shame because the film discussed a couple of issues not normally seen in Chinese films and the actors were more than capable of handling the sensitive subjects. Aside from the lessons in communication and self-worth, the film also emphasized the old saying, “It takes a mighty good man to be better than no man at all.”*
15 September 2025
*Dixie Carter
Spoilery comments below:
Can a baby’s father and grandmother determine a baby will be put up for adoption without the birth mother’s consent in China?
Female students forced to leave school for being pregnant is ridiculous. It’s not catching! Plus, the mother will need the better opportunities higher education will give her in the job market to help her raise the baby.
Mu Yu was playing a ridiculously long con on the women he scammed. His doormat detector was honed to perfection. He could spot a woman desperately alone and without any self-esteem. This is why women without supportive families desperately need good girlfriends.
Wu Yan Ni lives with her grandmother and aunt in Beijing. Her mother was an “intellectual” sent to the countryside where she met Yan Ni’s father. Quiet Yan Ni rarely sees her mother and meets her father for the first time when she’s fourteen. The women think she should learn a trade and marry. Her father declares she should go to college (university) so that her future would hold more opportunities than theirs. On her first day at the university, she meets a handsome delivery driver named Mu Yu. He showers her with attention and small gifts which causes Yan Ni to lose her heart…and her common sense.
This film highlighted the problems that can arise from not communicating. Yan Ni’s mom never told her why she was living with her grandmother leaving Yan Ni to believe she’d been abandoned. For fourteen years her father never made contact. Yan Ni was so afraid of being alone that she never asked Mu Yu any personal questions for fear of the answers or upsetting him. She knew instinctively and empirically when he was lying to her yet chose to ignore the facts in order to stay with him. It was like watching a person continually swerve into oncoming traffic and expecting to not get hit. The costs to her physical and mental health continued to grow.
Stolen Life was frustrating to watch, especially with most of Yan Ni’s feelings being explained by a voiceover, not shown through her actions and reactions. Whatever the artistic reason for the scene-by-scene narration, it cost the story emotional integrity and distanced this viewer from the characters due to the near constant interruptions. It really was a shame because the film discussed a couple of issues not normally seen in Chinese films and the actors were more than capable of handling the sensitive subjects. Aside from the lessons in communication and self-worth, the film also emphasized the old saying, “It takes a mighty good man to be better than no man at all.”*
15 September 2025
*Dixie Carter
Spoilery comments below:
Can a baby’s father and grandmother determine a baby will be put up for adoption without the birth mother’s consent in China?
Female students forced to leave school for being pregnant is ridiculous. It’s not catching! Plus, the mother will need the better opportunities higher education will give her in the job market to help her raise the baby.
Mu Yu was playing a ridiculously long con on the women he scammed. His doormat detector was honed to perfection. He could spot a woman desperately alone and without any self-esteem. This is why women without supportive families desperately need good girlfriends.
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