jarabaa

I have read and re-read your comment above and your further exposition of your views here, plus, as you say, you have dealt with these topics before on other pages - and I have enjoyed reading your views at those other locations too. I think I entirely understand and appreciate what you're saying. But I look at it from another angle. I do not deny or dispute anything you say. But, as I say, I look at it differently.

Any work of artistic creation - a book, a film, a short story. a picture - has its own sovereign existence. It is watched/read/listened to by human beings who form their own endlessly deep and unique relationships with that artistic product. So let's say a "middle-aged woman" creates a scenario, a screenplay, a short story, a novel, maybe directs a film, a television series about a wild, hot romance between two male characters. Maybe she is driven by a "fantasy". Maybe she has no direct contact with men who love men, i.e. gay men, and has never in any way studied gay male existence up close. And maybe - though I am not so sure about this - she is imagining her audience to be other women like herself who enjoy "BL". I say maybe" because we're all different, and creative people often just ... create. They write or paint, they just get on with what they're doing. They may "have an audience in mind" - they may not. Anything's possible.

And then I come along and read/watch the product of their creative labour. Most likely, esp in the case of BL, I have no idea who the author or director is - none at all. I couldn't name anyone. And I am absolutely not thinking of any likely "target audience" possibly envisaged by the middle-aged female creator. I just follow the story, I watch, I read. And though I am a gay man, who knows what my motivations are at that moment? Why have I suddenly sat down and given all my attention to this BL story written by the unknown middle-aged woman who is truly behind the scenes? There are many, many reasons. Indeed many complex reasons why I just chose to watch the final episode of "The Cupid Coach".

But once I am reading or watching, following the story, there is just my relationship with that story and that production. Here I do not follow your advice: I do not make myself aware, remind myself in any way, of the intentions of the author or the preferences and outlooks of some sort of intended audience (e.g. of middle-aged female fans). Not at all. I make no effort to note any of those possible dimensions. I am just a gay man wrapped up in some story of love between men. I would argue: that's all that counts. I don't need to look for accurate LGBT "representation". I don't need to bring some notion of what "gay male reality" is - even if I have lived it for decades.

And in many cases, I absolutely love the story. I fall for the characters. Their love is real, and plausible, their story is authentic, powerful and engaging. And if I pause and think about it, I often actually feel "represented" in some way. I may indeed identify with the characters a bit. I remember similar incidents in my life - my life as a gay man. I am touched, moved, engaged. This m/m love story absolutely intersects with my lived reality, my life history as a gay man, a man who has loved ... quite a few men. It resonates. And the fact that it may have been written by a middle-aged woman for similar types of women plays no role at all. Because that middle-aged female author has created a great gay men's love story, yes - a gay love story - which completely captivates and engages me. And countless other gay men - and other people - may well come to this work of artistic creation, whatever it is, and find their own experiences of feeling entertained, inspired, moved, provoked, intrigued, turned on.

The author had the key gift of imagination. Artistic, creative imagination. She created a story which seems plausible to me, close enough to my lived reality as a gay man. Many - many - female authors, screenwriters, directors, singers and songwriters, succeed in doing exactly this. Who or what they are is irrelevant. The sheer power or the creative imagination enables them to invent interesting and compelling gay male figures and a moving, exciting gay male love story.

And maybe ... they even add to my "gay man's consciousness". Maybe their story makes me think of a given real man in this world. Maybe it stimulates some line of fantasy in my brain. Maybe it suggests a way to make love to a man which I hadn't really ... concentrated on before. Maybe it highlights a way of receiving and savouring pleasure which I wasn't really aware of. Maybe it makes me dwell on male beauty in a new way which fills me with satisfaction. Maybe it helps me to initiate a relationship with a man in this real world.

And so ... I am INTENSELY GRATEFUL to all those BL-loving creative middle-aged women! Absolutely thrilled that fujoshis exist. Conscious that they are probably as varied as gay men. I'm delighted these women like to fantasise about men falling in love with men. Appreciative of all they do as creators and as enthusiastic fans. I have no problem with any of it. I am not offended, good grief, not at all put out, not in the slightest resentful. I am enriched.

"Well, there we are then." Perfect, Sums it up. All things considered, I'm happy to have landed up here ... wherever we are. Wholesome, loving, honest Tae + Nite 2 smooching is good enough for me.

Thanks to everyone here for filling this page with wonderful, positive comments encouraging others to watch this series. And ... thus encouraged, I watched it. And loved it. I have explained below in other posts why I loved it. Drawing those points together, I would summarise: although the ending, the meeting up of the lovers in Alaska, is somewhat magical, it should be somewhat magical - and such things do happen. Happy endings of this nature are very real. As if to confirm this, our beloved heroes from Make Our Days Count, denied their obvious and realistic happy ending in that series by a crazy and ghastly contrived catastrophe in the final episode, reappear here, both of them alive, almost as angels guiding Akira and Yuki together. Such details turn this series into something very special, something marked by the characteristics of legend or fable. The actors are so magnificent, their faces always deeply engaging. I will never forget either of them. The supporting actors are equally fine. The fumbling, unsure way these two men become lovers, a couple but specifically a male/male couple, the struggle with the world of work and convention and "success", their painful and ambivalent but ultimately sustaining relationships with their families, the break-up and then the heroic quest of one lover to find the other, culminating in their magical reunion beneath the dazzling colours of the Aurora Borealis: a beautiful work of art in four episodes. Thank you to all who have done so much to enable others - like me - to discover it for ourselves.

Hi. Well, something similar happened to me too. But he didn't contact me again out of the blue 7 years later. I think he is still with the woman he chose to get together with - a much older, yet very girlish and somewhat old-fashioned work associate. I've never seen him again.

We were together 7 years. So the number 7 appears in my story too. I don't know if "internalised self-loathing" played a role in his actions. But the desire to lead a "normal" life certainly did. He and his chosen partner made a big deal of how innocent and pure their love was. They cast themselves in a weird script as some sort of star-crossed saints who felt in love - but it was a very exalted love. Bizarre. I often wondered if this was a way of distancing himself from his former relationship with me as though turning away from something low, base and sinful.

So my story is different. He has never contacted me to say he was sorry. I have loved other men since then but I'm on my own now. I don't know if I have forgiven him or not. I concentrate more or bad things I did long, long ago - esp. in the time when we were breaking up and I was off my head with heartbreak - things that I regret.

I love this story because it strikes me as very realistic. Akira and his wife get a divorce; for years he searches for Yuki; a poster advertising a trip Yuki dreamt of catches his notice; he goes on the trip - and meets Yuki once again. Things like that do happen. Also, the story has the form of a legend, a fable - of true love, destiny, and a little magic. And we gay men absolutely need our legends, our fables, our magic, our love stories. We have been denied all of these throughout much of our lives - so I applaud and congratulate everyone involved in telling this particular story.

Everything you say is so true. Spot on. I also find myself remembering Yuki's smiles and many of Akira's facial expressions. Yes, as you point out, it was like closely observing two real human beings. And as a gay man who's just a bit older than either of these two ... I can confirm that this lovely story is full of resonance for me - "real life" is just like many of the scenes here, and that includes the magical way that Akira and Yuki re-encounter one another in Alaska.

I 100% endorse your words. Exactly what I felt too. Totally loved it, and I'm yearning for either a fuller version of this same story or a sequel or both...

I think as well that if you look very closely at that glimpse of their later lives at the end - just a few seconds - you will see that the sister's husband Hassan seems to be a COOK. You see him wearing an apron, seemingly coming out of the kitchen, and the family, including Akira and his beloved Yuki, are all enjoying something like naan (I think) which Hassan has obviously just made. It's an intense shot of a few seconds encapsulating all sorts of beautiful "future facts". You have to pause and look at it closely.

Seems voting has ended, but I see that this modest, beautiful little Japanese series of 4 episodes got FIFTH place, right at the top with 4 other really excellent productions that I loved.

Yes, I loved it too. I couldn't believe it when I saw and recognised them. It was rather magical, really. In fact, the whole way that Akira re-encounters Yuki in Alaska was magical. I would love to see a more extended version of this story. Those final glimpses of their lives later on were all too brief. But seeing our beloved stars from Make Our Days Count completely did me in.

Wasn't it good? It was short and ... pure and focused. I frequently find myself remembering scenes from this series - and recalling the actors too, their faces, the actions, their movements. Short and ultimately sweet, the whole thing made quite an impression on me. Additionally, it certainly had resonance for me in terms of my own "real life" as a gay man. Huge resonance. Anyway, I too was very happy I got round to watching it.

No, glorification of rape or sexual violence is absolutely not characteristic of male/male love stories in China and Taiwan. Not at all. I cannot recall that HIStory 2 or 3 featured any series which cast sexual coercion in a positive light. Those include: "Crossing the Line", "Right or Wrong", and "Trapped" - and indeed "Make Our Days Count". Plus "Dark Blue & Moonlight", "My Bromance", "Because of You", and the two current "We Best Love" series. Lots to choose from. Not to mention the gold standard of love between men, "The Untamed". Anyhow, all of these are beautiful evocations of m/m romance. No suggestion that rape is "something acceptable". Plus it would be crazy to suggest that rape is in any acceptable in either China or Taiwan. Violence in general, especially between men, of course, has a different weight and meaning, I often feel - look at the world of boxing and "martial arts" - but that's not rape.

Additionally, Taiwan has gone farther than any other Asian country in recognising the human dignity of its gay and lesbian citizens - by legalising same-sex marriage two years ago. I think this helps people to think of gay male relationships as equal and loving and civilised - and that's important. I grew up far from China and Taiwan, in a big Western English-speaking country, and I was raised to think of male/male love as violent, twisted, perverted and criminal.

There is a huge problem around the world in that most of us in fact grow up thinking that being mean and forceful to the point of belligerent and even violent is somehow hot and sexy in a man. This is dismissed in a glib way nowadays as "toxic masculinity". But it is something that all of us who are men, or who are women who love men, have to deal with and think about. It's hard to get away from the prevailing notions that force is a good way to get things done, and typical of the male, and that being tough and hard and prone to get in a fight is a stimulating emblem of virility. It's an insoluble problem, I think. It has nothing to do with China and Taiwan.

Anyhow, you are right to point to the defects in this series. I've persisted with watching it since my own earlier comments below - but boy, am I uneasy. For various reasons. And none of those reasons has gone away, not one. Trying to engineer sex without consent - with a blind drunk person, specifically - is just the latest scene that has added to my disquiet. But for the moment, I keep on watching. I guess I hope that some real man+man loving will get going and help some of these characters to treat themselves and each other with tenderness and respect; which, believe it or not, can also create a basis on which hot sex takes place and people do and say genuinely funny things.

Right. I am starting out at the beginning. So far, so disappointing. I can't even see any sign of improvement on the horizon. The whole of episode 1 is about a straight crush - in this case, a guy's over-the-top crush on a girl. We see him (Xiao Li Cheng) capering about, screaming, raving etc, all as evidence of his red-blooded he-man heterosexual infatuation. And we see a silent, secretive young man stalking another guy (Ye Xing Si). We have references to "BL" - yet no indication of anything which is ever likely to resemble ... homosexuality. In fact, the very idea of love between men is constantly being held up to ridicule - caricatured as a dimension of silliness that is so repulsive to Xiao Li Cheng and Teng Mu Ren that they cannot begin to fathom what "BL" is; whereas Ye Xing Si is so deeply in the closet he may never find a way out of it. Plus, I admit I am already fed up following a man's ostensibly amusing quest to capture the heart of an uninterested young woman: however amusing straight antics are, I've already been exposed to 10 million series about adorable heterosexual characters and their fascinating madcap relationships. That's not what I'm here for.

And yet I look through the comments here and people are talking about "couples" - meaning two men. I can't understand it. Am I supposed to believe that in episode 2 every plotline is suddenly and radically re-written to make room for at least the possibility of something vaguely gay (you know - homosexual, queer, same-sex, m/m) eventually happening? Or is what we're going to get in reality more crude writing which depicts gay men as either great for a laugh or typically obsessive and sinister? Sorry, again, that's not what I'm here for.

Precisely. Seems like efforts are being made to make this series inaccessible for a lot of folks. And why on earth, may I ask? Expensive subscriptions, long waits, it just ain't available. As I say - why on earth? Whose interests does this serve? It just means a lot of us either don't end up watching it at all, or we watch way down the road at some future date when it's no longer a current show. Again, whose interests does this serve? The actors' interests, the production company's, the directors'. the writers' ?? No. Nobody's interests are served. It's just stupid.

Ah ... music to my ears, and how rarely I hear it. Truly, "toxic", once a powerful, rather specialist term for "poisonous", threatens to drown us at present. Buzzword is really an understatement nowadays. I also have begun to feel uneasy about "inappropriate" and "creepy", by the way. Quite different words, yet used in the same way to condemn, slander and insinuate. In this particular case, a sexual or romantic connection between two adults whose parents happen to marry cannot be "incest" by any standard, nor is it dangerous, perverted, criminal or any of the other things which until very recently were routinely said by almost everyone about ... "homosexuals".

In fact, it happens. I've certainly heard of it. A friend of mine (female) fell for the son of her widowed father's second wife. They were both over 30 and obviously unrelated. This happened not in the Far East but in New England. There is in reality a good chance that the adult sons/daughters of the sorts of people your father or mother is attracted to may turn out to be the sorts of men or women you are attracted to. Plus it's possible you'll suddenly be thrown together with these unknown adults (of your age and maybe sharing other similarities) rather a lot ... creating the right setting for developing passionate feelings.

I agree with you. In fact, I am increasingly uncomfortable with the extreme pejorative adjectives "creepy" and "toxic". Sadly, they're all over this site. "Creepy" is a very negative, abusive term; and "toxic" means poisonous. I'm beginning to notice as well that almost every gay male character over the age of ... 25? ... is denounced as "creepy" at some point. The cousin/doctor is actually quite an interesting character of a type we don't get enough of. His being Shi De's cousin was in fact more than hinted at earlier on in the series - and I can't see what's peculiar or contrived about it. I hope we see more of him, to be honest - and other gay male characters introduced in Series 1. There were weaknesses here and there in Series 1, but I didn't feel thrown off course by any disruptive implausible twists in the storyline. No, as you've pointed out, the crazy plotting inconsistency comes afterwards - it's the baffling chasm between Series 1 and 2: five years of inexplicably radical and rancorous separation.

Exactly... It's bizarre, inconsistent with what we know of them and what we know of life. Senseless. The curse of needlessly sloppy writing and plotting.

Oy, ain't that the truth! What a ... regrettable blip that was, Please, no more.

I totally understood and sympathised with ... EVERYONE in that scene. Including the friend. His sense of frustration was very well articulated. And Tum's admonitions. telling him he shouldn't question Gene, were just as eloquent. This is what friends are like in the real world. I accept that if I conceal my gayness and insist on remaining non-committal, vague and neutral, this can be felt by others as a form of distancing, even rejection.

Totally agree. This series has been full of surprises - good surprises.

A good set of inspiring and practical messages to take away from this series, Jason. Fantastic that you can derive this wisdom from this (yes) beautiful male/male love story. When I was young, there were no such stories to be watched or listened to, no positive information available about same-sex love, no suggestion that a story about love between two men could yield inspiring messages at all. How the world has changed! Phupha and Tian are two very real men dealing with passion and struggle, both of them engaging, sympathetic, interesting characters; they are deeply in love with each other, and every minute following their story is moving and ... uplifting, encouraging, exciting. Hallelujah.